It Happened Last Night

'America's Next Top Model': It's Allison vs Teyona

By Lisa B.

   |  

May 13, 2009 11:51 PM ET

Teyona Upon this hallowed day, wherein we experience the revelation of the "America's Next Top Model" heir-apparent (oh, come on, we saw it coming from a mile away) ... all I keep thinking is: "what the hell, they fired Paulina?"

Paulina Porizkova, she of the effortless snark and withering critiques, has left the building. Fired due to some combination of ANTM cutbacks and/or her alleged "ego problem." Paulina: call me. I will brush your rock-n-roll hair and laugh at all your goofy, deadpan Czech jokes. Whomever they bring on next won't hold a candle to you. We shall never forget.

The Bones

Okay, where were we? Oh right: it's the finale, and to no one's surprise Teyona wins it. The judges have been steering the Good Ship Teyona for weeks now. She is a perfectly good winner. Consistent, pretty, versatile, driven. Yet she could be unimaginative at times, a little unaware of her body, and packing a grin that straddles a fine line between toothy and feral. Still, possibly the biggest point against her was her monstrous mess up in the Cover Girl commercial (yet she does join the hallowed ranks of girls who completely flubbed the commercial and still won ... what's up with that?).  

Judging by Zap2it's unbiased, highly scientific survey system -- you know, that poll at the end of each recap -- Allison was the overwhelming fan favorite (69% of you voted her your choice). She definitely brought her A Game in tonight's episode, stomping around the runway show like she owned the place and doing pretty well at the Cover Girl commercial. Alas, it was not to be for Crazy Eyes. Still, I suspect she'll have a decent career, and she won't have to endure those terrible My Life As A Cover Girl commercials.  

For those of you seeking to relive the magic -- or just needing to know the basics -- we opened the show and immediately tossed the models into the Cover Girl commercial/photo shoot. McKey shows up and delivers the pat CG speech about how fabulous her lipstick is in a terribly mechanical, rehearsed manner ... she may be very pretty but hoo-eey, that girl is not a spokesmodel. Aminat worked hard at her script and delivered a strong performance, knowing she was the underdog; Allison's wasn't bad but Teyona had a sobbing meltdown.  

At panel Allison was called first, then Teyona: both girls had amazing photos. But that meant Aminat was out, told she needed to learn to control her face better and be a better model (oh, wait, the latter was my commentary).    

Allison and Teyona departed for their runway show, which instead of the usual couture seemed to be swimsuits. (Hm, more budget cuts?) While the girls are getting gussied up backstage, the judges show up at the show and dear God, what is Miss Jay wearing? It's a muu muu ... it's Carmen Miranda ... it's a tranny ... oh, heck, I give up. It's a trainwreck. 

Teyona does well on the catwalk but doesn't surpass any expectations; well, not until her hairpiece falls off and -- staying in the moment -- she starts swinging it around like a cat-o-nine-tails. Allison blows the doors off the place with her Miss Most Improved performance, sassing Miss Jay and looking especially fierce.  

At final panel, Allison was praised for having wonderful photos and a surprisingly good show. But, of course, Teyona wins it. 

Bonus: Allison is a very gracious loser. Way to go.

The Pretty

All the girls looked gorgeous this episode. Teyona and Allison's Cover Girl photo shoots were just fabulous: sassy, sweet, a little sexy. Both girls rocked the runway and were fun to watch.

(I could not say the same for Tyra. She looked especially worn out this episode.)

The Ugly

According to the judges, one of the reasons Teyona won was because "she wanted it more." This seems sort of weak to me. Celia wanted it pretty bad, but she was deemed "desperate." No one is giving me a pair of Christian Louboutin heels because I really, really want them. It seems a contest like this should be decided by talent ... but what the heck do I know?

The End 

Gentle readers, thanks for coming along on this cycle with me. We laughed, we cried, we were emotionally reborn. (Okay, maybe not, but we were entertained.) Best of luck to our models and more importantly: best of luck to you. See you soon.


 
 
 
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Yeah, Allison was robbed! When the judges were comparing their photo, Allison's were better in all of them. So why would they build her up like that, then pick Squinty Eyed Teyona??

I am so disgusted by this decision! Clearly, the judges (especially Tyra) favored Teyona from the beginning and rigged the competition so she would win. Did anyone else notice how when the judges would praise Allison, Tyra would steer the discussion back to Teyona? Allison had the better portfolio, the better runway show and the better Cover Girl commercial. It seems that the judges always choose the young lady who actually should be the runner-up ... Kahlen should have won Cycle 4 rather than Naima, Joanie should have won Cycle 6 rather than Danielle, Samantha should have won Cycle 11 rather than McKey AND ALLISON SHOULD HAVE WON CYCLE 12 RATHER THAN TEYONA.

Analiegh should have won cycle 11.

What! Teyona won??? You've got to be kidding me! Allison has been constantly getting better throughout the entire show- all of her photos were amazing! Whereas Teyona was blah-- I saw nothing special or unique about Teyona- I could definitely tell that Tyra favored Teyona over Allison. Allison is the crowd favorite and deserves a modeling contract....she'd be puuurfect for Hot topic and high fashion. Tyra needs to go on a diet...holy B-Dunk!

everyone has their opinion but we should be proud of all the ladies that have the courage to go through what they go through just to prove themselves to be a top model. We can judge who should have won and who should have not but at the end of the day, all the girls are WINNERS, because they are not too scared to go after their dream.

"Allison blows the doors off the place with her Miss Most Improved performance, s***ing Miss Jay and looking especially fierce."

Now that is an over exageration. While Allison had improved on the runway, I don't think looking down while walking will count as fierce.

Remember Teyona booked all of her go sees. Allison, not so many if any at all! I doubt Allison will become this sought after runway model. She may do a few covers, but we won't be hearing from her when it's all said and done.

teyona didn't deserve to win. If anything, Aminat should've won. I mean, come on, Teyona has NOT improved at all, she is the same as she was from from episode one. Allison did great in all her photo shoots, and the judges seemed to like Allison much more than the other two, but Tyra and Miss Jay liked Teyona from the beginning. I was hoping that them personally liking a contestant from episode one wouldn't affect how they picked America's Next Top Model, but apparently it did. I'm not that disappointed though, because Tyra will be crying when she sees Allison's picture on Vogue and Teyona's pictures on Wal-Mart :)

This entire show has become a formality. The winner is pretty much chosen during the audition rounds; everything else is just "staged".

Season after season, we have girls who seem to win the favor of the guest photographers (i.e. they win the challenges) yet end up being chopped by the panel. Then, on the flip side, we have girls who seldom win any challenges, yet are kept around based on "potential".

As Lisa said, we saw this coming miles away. If Tyra would start picking her winners based on actual talent, she might end up with a winner who legitimately successful...

I know I'm a lone wolf on this one but I actually thought the one who got the shaft was Aminat. And believe me I was no big Aminat fan, but if, according to the show, SO MUCH rides on how well the girls do in their Cover Girl commercials, Aminat's was better than both Teyona's AND Allison's, wasn't it? Plus I didn't think there was anything really wrong with Aminat's final photo either; I think Tyra and the other judges just used it as their only way of getting around awarding her first place, which they just didn't want to give her because they wanted to give it to Teyona. But all I as a viewer came away from it thinking was, "Okay, Aminat does the commercial better than these two, yet she gets sent home." Yeah, okay, whatever.

It's better not to win but get close to winning. Many of the non-winners that were in the top 4 went on to have very successful careers after ANTM because they can use the exposure to land and agent and start being seen for other things right away while the winner has to be stuck with cover girl for a year. A lot of the winners careers fade quickly after that year is up. Unless your Adrian C and then you just get into a ***** fight with Tyra to keep things going and then launch a trashy reality career

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