'The Celebrity Apprentice' loses its mind

If I didn't know better, I would have thought tonight's episode of "The Celebrity Apprentice" was some sort of April Fools' edition. There are weeks when the show makes sense, when I understand the task, the way teams approach it, and what happens in the boardroom, and then there was this week, when nothing made sense.

Okay, that's a bit of hyperbole, I absolutely understood why Trump rejiggered the teams at the beginning of the episode, they were awfully unbalanced as they stood. He put Herschel, Clint, Joan, Natalie, and Khloe on the new Kotu and the others on the new Athena (Brian was gone this week). The task for the week was to create a "viral video" for the new All "Small & Mighty" laundry detergent. However, after each team talked to the All people, it really seemed like they just wanted a longer commercial. They were shooting for some really clean, bright, cheery, 60 second piece. Jokes were okay as long as there was no innuendo or possibly offensive nature. Apparently, anything remotely risqué wasn't going to fit their demo. I can't imagine that the folks they seemed to be shooting for download viral videos though, can you? Athena, led by Melissa, went with Jesse James getting bathed by "midgets" (their word, not mine). Jesse refused initially, but eventually he acquiesced and thank goodness he did, otherwise it would have completely ruined my idea of Jesse. I understood his initial reluctance, but come on, Jesse James getting washed by midgets in All detergent outfits was funny. No, it was not politically correct, but it was funny. I'm not the demo, but I'm definitely the guy who does all the laundry, and if I forwarded videos, I would have forwarded that one.

As for Kotu, which had Clint as a PM, they had a great idea with a dirty joke, but the folks from All seemed a little too uptight for Kotu to use it. Much to the rest of Kotu's chagrin, Clint stuck with the dirty joke. The other folks didn't necessarily want to go clean, just cleaner.

Clint should have been working with his team instead of against them, and he was definitely working against them. It all really fell apart, though, when they got a bad actor, before that, it could have been funny. They fired the actor, which was totally the right call, but then Clint jumped into the role which not only angered Joan, it destroyed the one-note dirty joke that they had.

The team was short on time, and though Clint wanted to actually do something rather than sitting and talking about doing something, he needed to at least discuss his ideas with his team. His not doing that, his just filming everything and then locking the team out of the editing room, was seriously wrong. Clint did in the end add pop-ups to the commercial as Herschel suggested, but it didn't save the video.

I think when it comes down to it, what we had tonight heading into the boardroom was a fascinating contest. On the one hand there was a funny, but really offensive idea (Athena's), on the other side there was a not-so-funny but only semi-offensive idea (Kotu's). After watching the videos, the All folks didn't seem pleased in any way with either. Perez Hilton liked the Athena one, but he suggested that neither appealed to All's target demo and he was right, All decided that both teams lost.

Trump opted to fire one person from each team this week and told the PMs to each bring two people back with them, so we got Khloe, Natalie, Brande & Tionne in the boardroom with the PMs. And if I didn't understand what happened earlier in the episode, it was then that things really got weird.

We'll ignore the fact that Clint should have brought Joan back with him simply because Joan was his biggest impediment this week (I think he was trying to apologize). First up, Donald fired Tionne because she volunteered to come back and support Melissa, just like he fired Bradford back in the day when Bradford volunteered to come back and give up his immunity. I just can't believe he did that with a celeb though.

Okay, fine, think that's not weird enough, you're right, there was at least some precedent for that. Next, Trump turned, talked to the folks from Kotu about their desires to stay on the show, and then he canned Khloe. Why? Great question. He fired her because she got a DUI. He didn't know that until she missed some of last week's task, but once he found out he couldn't have her around anymore (he did however donate money to her cause).

The whole thing just boggles the mind. I can almost understand the Tionne thing, but Khloe's firing was out there. I don't think Khloe was ever going to win this thing, but to fire her over a DUI which didn't happen during the filming of the show was crazy. Maybe next week Trump will fire Annie Duke because she sometimes bluffs when she plays poker, and a bluff is like a lie and lies are wrong.

Questions, questions:

• What exactly do you think the folks from All were looking for this week? Just another dancing baby, but with the baby dancing in front of an All bottle?
• Was Khloe's past history an acceptable reason for firing her this week? Trump suggested she never would have been on the show had he known about the DUI, but once she was there should he have used it against her?

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