'Gossip Girl': Bums, bum investments, and Michelle Trachtenberg

Cons come in all shapes and sizes -- even on the Upper East Side, even with nice manners and a hint of a North Carolina accent and heartwarming stories about companies that fund wireless internet access in Africa. But in the end, it's -- he's -- still a con. And it's a lesson Serena almost learned on tonight's "Gossip Girl."

Spoilers arriving on the subway, along with mole men and middle-class professionals...

Operation Gone With the Weasel: Serena's settling into her relationship with Gabriel (he does realize that at 17 she's still, ah, jailbait, no?), introducing him to Lily and Rufus, pouting when he doesn't stick around for movie night because he says he has business commitments, and wanting bravely to believe in this developing relationship. But Blair can smell a rotten egg from miles away, and urges Serena to engage in a scheme to see what Gabriel's really up to. Serena won't bite, but a beret-clad Blair assigns herself a little spy mission -- roping in Chuck when she runs into him. And lo and behold, Gabriel leaves Serena's and drives off with Poppy.

Serena confronts Gabriel, who spins a tale about Poppy and the investors for his company, which she'll ruin if he breaks up with her before the contract is signed in a week.  Blair keeps pushing, and Serena keeps resisting, and tries on some genuinely hideous dresses to wear to her mother's post-co-op board meeting cocktail party. She of course picks the least flattering dress that looks the most like underwear. Why, God, WHY? Then Blair and Chuck orchestrate a scene in which Gabriel refuses to leave Serena for Poppy, who threatens to ruin him. All-too-helpful Serena offers to help him get new investors at the party, starting with her mother -- and an ill-fated Rufus. Chuck also knows something's up when Gabriel says he met Serena with Georgina at Butter -- which was closed on the night in question.

Long story short: Serena falls for Gabriel's line, and Blair and Chuck push on, even going to see Georgina in her born-again camp to find out what went down that night. Serena wises up and traps Gabriel in his own story -- but before she can get back to his hotel room Gabriel and his accomplice Poppy disappear. Now. Serena's usually a fairly smart girl, and Blair and Chuck are incorrigible -- but in this case I'd want them to be my friends. Even if it means Chuck's bringing Georgina back to the city. Michelle Trachtenberg looks all too excited to bring a little mischief back to town.

Swordfight for the Queen: Meanwhile, Nate and Chuck are pretending to be friends while trying to one-up each other over Blair. In response to her whine that NYU and Columbia are far enough apart to be considered long-distance, Nate rents an apartment in Murray Hill and asks Blair to move in with him. Nate is way too insecure and Chuck is way too good at being underhanded for me to ever lay money on Nate coming out the winner in this scenario. "I don't want you to go near her again" -- seriously, Nate? If you can't trust her -- or your best friend -- let them go.

Recession woes: Finally, Rufus' decision to sell the gallery has put him in a great mood, and he's even eyeing an estate ring for Lily -- which Jenny and Dan pool their money to buy to show him they're OK with him wanting to marry her. But there hasn't even been a nibble, and he may be forced to sell the other major asset he has: his band's catalog, which isn't worth as much now that he's stopped touring. So it looks like Dan's Yale dream will have to go by the wayside -- until Rufus makes an executive decision to invest in Gabriel's company. Have we not learned our lesson about bad investments?

What did you think? Are you psyched that we're going to get to see a little Georgina action? How will Blair react to her "sworn enemy" being back in town? Do you think Serena's finally going to kick Gabriel to the curb? And do you have an over/under on when Blair will get tired of Nate and do the same?

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