The 'Private Practice' lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Addison, sweetie darling, we've given you lots of chances. We had such high "Private Practice" hopes. There were others. Of course, there wasn't the same chemistry with them, or the same thunderstormy, sultry backdrops, and, oh right, they weren't married.

Addison

Addison is making house calls... to Morgan, on bed rest. In her, and Noah's, house and bedroom. Addison tells her she needs to have her cervix sewn together in order to keep from losing the baby. Minutes later, Morgan confides to Addison that this baby is the only thing holding her marriage together. Addison, you should have dropped this case like a hot rock when you had the chance. The exasperated "I'm not a cheater" speech she made to Pete was sad and pathetic. Since when does she have to reaffirm that she's going to save a baby?

After almost losing Morgan, Noah has a come-to-Jesus moment of clarity, and he realizes that he could have almost lost his wife because he's been chasing after Addison. She confesses to Sam later that she doesn't know if she's strong enough to stop whatever's happening. Self-fulfilling prophecy moment.

The next morning, Morgan tells Addison that Noah hasn't been back to see her since her near-death experience. Addison finds him, and tells him he's the kind of man who will put aside his feelings and be there for his wife during her surgery. Ooh. Ok.

Naomi and Sam

Duncan, the principal at Sunnydale High, no wait, an old friend of Naomi and Sam's, is an attorney trying a malpractice case and Sam is his expert witness. Sam ends up getting slammed by the prosecution, who systematically tears him apart. Naomi comes to his rescue, catching his free-falling ego, and he dives back into the case. He then figures out what actually happened. The doctor on trial, Dr. Allen, did indeed make a mistake that killed the patient. Allen asks Sam to cover for him. The next day on the stand, Sam almost does just that, but the clever prosecution realizes his careful words only mean that Allen did indeed miss something. Sam ends up telling the truth, losing the case, but saving his reputation.

In the meantime, Naomi goes out on a date with Duncan. So it looks like he may win something in the long run.

Cooper

Cooper's 12-year-old patient, Sarah, is sexually active, and her mom, Yvonne, much to Cooper's dismay, isn't doing anything to keep her from doing... it. Yvonne just wants Sarah on birth control, but Cooper pushes his viewpoint, again. It's the usual Cooper thing. Naomi and Violet agree with Yvonne, saying that if Sarah is going to be sexually active, she needs birth control. Later, he finds Sarah's phone, which she left behind (unlikely, but okay.) She's getting some sexy texts from other kids, but just before he calls CPS, Naomi comes in saying Sarah's bloodwork shows she's pregnant.

When the news is broken to Sarah and Yvonne, Yvonne immediately says she's going to have an abortion. Cooper the Pro flies off the handle and yells at Yvonne, asking where she thought it was headed. Sarah, the baby, says she wants to keep the baby. Cooper leaves the room and calls Charlotte to talk him down. He says it's hard for him to forgive Yvonne's parenting issues, but Charlotte replies that he forgave her, so he can do it.

In the end, Yvonne admits she screwed up, so Cooper gets vindicated after all. Tcha!

Pete

Pete's young patient Ben is trying to set his mom, Lisa, aka the amazing Idina Menzel aka Mrs. Taye Diggs, up with him. Pete takes the bait, and asks her out. Later, Ben has a severe allergy attack, and Pete saves him. Forever winning Lisa's heart and ensuring future episodes with her. I hope.

Violet

The green-eyed monster has taken control of Violet this week, and only because of a few moments she saw between Pete and Lisa. When she discusses her jealousy with Charlotte (who's all gussied up in her dominatrix outfit waiting for Cooper to come home), Charlotte tells Violet about sleeping with Archer, and Violet pounces on her, but Charlotte, being Charlotte, pounces right back. Charlotte says what we've all been thinking - Violet can sleep with two men, get pregnant, not find out who's baby she's carrying and expect to be taken seriously and have her jealousy validated? I think not. Later, when Pete tells Violet he's asking Lisa out, she's supportive.

In the end, Noah shows up at Addison's cheaty doorway, The cheaters share one incredibly hot cheating pulsing kiss, and she kicks him out again. Which leaves us with the big question... who gets the nickname of McCheaty? Noah or Addison?  Hmmm. Decisions, decisions. 

Oh, and Dell is really, really angry, and regressing, but he's at least getting some action as Dr. Parker.

I'm off to listen to the soundtrack from "Wicked" just to round out this evening. And then maybe watch some old "Buffy" re-runs too.

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