'Smallville': In Which Tori Spelling Causes A Ruckus

Donna Martin makes her triumphant return to "Smallville" to advance her journalism career by outing Clark as the Red/Blue Blur. For having the power to transform herself into water, she can definitely bring the crazy to a level not seen since... well, West Beverly.

Spoilers wish they had the ability to time travel.

Wouldn't you know it, Lois is taking issue with Clark again... this time, it's his inability to pick her up from the airport. As if he didn't have enough problems, Linda Lake returns to wreak havoc on his life. This time, she brings a copy of her exposé that'll surely ruin our hero unless he does whatever she needs to further her career. Nothing says lovin' like something from a crazy oven. When Chloe finds out Linda is back, she immediately pledges her help. In a stunning turn of events, Clark decides to once and for all publicly out himself as the Red/Blue Blur.

Of course, there's only one reporter who has the moxie to print the real story: Lois. At first, she shrugs off every single one of his explanations... that is, until Clark lifts the desk she's standing on, then proceeds to toss her into his loving arms. Speechless, she can't fathom how she couldn't put the pieces together. Lois even becomes a wee self-conscious when Clark reveals his super sight, among other powers. Yeah, she has an issue with Clark's non-existent inner pervert. She promises front page of the next day's Daily Planet.

At the hospital, a random nurse finds Davis stuffing his jacket full of super happy drugs to counteract his multiple personality disorder. He obviously never listened to Mr. Mackey in school, did he?

The next day, instant fame reaches our hero. Newspapers are free, kids are dressing like him and crowds mob him wherever he goes. The only one who isn't sharing in the excitement is Linda, who makes it a point to show up and publicly scowl at him. All of the attention has an unexpected effect on Chloe, whose friendship with Clark is hindering her efforts to have the hospital admit Jimmy. In the meantime, she and Davis talk out their feelings on the kiss, though he was expecting the Doomsday talk.

Linda offers her now super lame Clark Kent story to a Daily Planet editor, and he predictably rejects her almost out of hand. Chloe, meanwhile, fights through the mob to be with Clark. Thanks to the story, Lois has been promoted to editor and Clark has scored a sweet corner office right next to Tess. That's all fine and dandy until Linda appears on TV to say Clark is the first wave of an alien attack and Lex is the true hero. Almost immediately, public perception shifts to a nasty, negative tone.

Once the police arrive, they no longer feel inclined to believe anything coming out of Clark's mouth. Because of this, the SWAT team is called in to take him out. Predictably, the bullets bounce off him, provoking him to flee the scene. Clark and Chloe meet up later to hear police chatter about how our hero is a menace to society. She wishes the clock could be turned back to the before time. He remembers that he has the Legion ring, and will most definitely use it. He does not, however, use his super-senses to determine Linda lurking in the bushes.

Later, Lois and Linda have words in the elevator as she tries to storm Tess' office... except the police are already there. When she doesn't cooperate, they try to Taser her, but Clark whooshes her out at the last second. In the barn, she's dejected at the fact that Clark wants to undo the boo-boo, but she understands that it must be done. Linda decides now is an opportune time to make her presence known by placing Kryptonite in the drawer where the ring was. Moments later, she whacks a distracted Lois with a 2x4.

Chloe is at Isis when Davis staggers in, no longer able to control "the beast." Context clues allow Chloe to determine her paramedic friend is Doomsday. She tries to simultaneously escape and warn Lois, succeeding in only the latter. Back in the barn, Linda becomes overconfident, allowing Lois to subdue her long enough for Clark to reacquire the ring. She gets Chloe's message about Doomsday, but Clark activates the Legion ring before she can tell him. On the other hand, he does locate, and promptly eliminates Linda before she can channel Donna any longer.

Once our story resets, Clark picks up Lois from the airport after all. She suggests a rendezvous at a café later that night. Chloe wonders what might have been had the alternate Smallville been allowed to continue. Unfortunately, the opportunity to go back in time is at an end because Clark destroyed the ring. I wonder what the Legion kids think about that.

Hospital reboot, and Davis is once again packing his pockets with pills when the same nurse catches him in the act. This time, she's far more pleasant is greeting him, also in letting him know a patient is asking for him. That patient... yep, Linda Lake, who's not quite dead yet. She knows his secret and actively encourages him to free his mind so the rest will follow. He does partially transform, but only enough to snatch a pillow and suffocate the hell bitch. With a death under his belt, he returns to normal and departs the hospital, ditching the pills in the process.

We end with Lois waiting for Clark at the café. He watches from afar, but doesn't dare approach. Terrified of what might happen, he texts that he's busy at work while she texts back that she's chasing a lead. Oh you crazy kids.

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