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RSS'America's Next Top Model': Makeovers, lights & cat fights
The Bones
America's Next Top Model - Cycle Twelve brings you ... MAKEOVAHHHH! Ah, makeover week. Always a fun episode.
But before we get to makeovers, we get Aminat and Sandra sharpening their claws. Lamenting Isabella's boot, Aminat informs Sandra -- who was in the Bottom Two -- the "better person" went home. Despite this being the truth, Sandra is confused. Misunderstanding the difference between "better model" and "better person," she stomps off to bed muttering obscenities.
Luckily, in the morning it's MAKEOVAHHHH! Now, there are a few things we hold to be true about makeover week. Many will become even more beautiful, at least one will get fuglified, and someone is going to have a nervous breakdown because her hair is chopped off (luckily, this last one frequently leads to some good laughs for those of us at home).
Of note: Aminat's 'fro is dismissed in favor of flowing locks (Nijah gets 'em, too). Allison and Tahlia go long and blond; Celia, London, and Sandra go short and blonde. Teyona is beat soundly with the Jheri Curl stick, poor girl. Jessica gets a trim and brags, "There's not really a lot you can do to make me look ugly." Natalie freaks out at the thought of short hair ... but remains untouched!
However, Fo has a couple inches taken off her already-short hair and -- voila -- we have our nervous breakdown winner.
For the challenge, the girls must pluck women off the street and introduce them to new products in the Walmart Cover Girl make up aisle. But wait, you're saying; there's no Walmart in Manhattan. And right you are. But thanks to the wonders of tellyvision, our corporate sponsor can recreate a Walmart Cover Girl make up aisle ... right here in New York City! There's no big losers, but the team of Aminat, Sandra and Celia are the best ambassadors and win it.
Post-challenge, Aminat and Sandra continue to go at each other. "Keep it cute or put it on mute," Aminat declares, and with that statement basks in the love of a million ANTM viewers.
At the shoot, Nigel is manning the camera and it's all about light, just like in Poltergeist. ("Go to the light Carol Ann?" Anyone?) The clothes are pretty but half the girls look like drag queens, and only a few manage to shine. Sandra and Aminat flail hard, which should be a lesson to them about playing nice but won't be. Jessica just sorta stands there. Fo breaks down in tears yet again because she hates her makeover. Nigel and Mr. Jay roll their eyes.
At panel, our the judges love Allison, Celia, Natalie and Teyona, praising their "tenseness." Tense must be the new fierce. There's not many kind words for the rest of the girls. It was a pretty poor effort.
In what was surely a difficult decision, Jessica finds out that yes, there may not be many things we can do to make her look ugly. But being pretty ain't all that. Adios, mamacita.
The Pretty
Allison and Celia's makeovers brought a whole new fierceness -- or, wait, tenseness -- to their looks. This recapper approves. Also nice to see most of the girls embrace their makeovers.
Tahlia looked very pretty. Alas, not remotely like a Top Model.
Teyona's winning photo was super hot.
The Ugly
Sandra's personality still makes a strong showing.
However, it may have been clobbered this episode by that horrific weave they gave poor Teyona. Tyra, also aghast, promises to fix it. Can't wait to see that one.
Oh, Tyra -- and Miss Jay and Mr. Jay -- Please
I am not sure what ancient Chinese secret The Two Jays used to keep from howling with laughter during their pathetic "the girls are on their way to the makeover" skit, but they should bottle it up and sell it on eBay. The "fierce femme fatalian" models? The low budget special effect two-way video? The dead serious looks on their faces while they acted at a Blackberry? Honestly, they are too good for reality. They should try their hands at drama. I smell an Emmy.
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
Great recap! So tense!
I love that these "high-end" fashion models are shelling out for Walmart! I know people in the fashion industry, and none of them would be caught DEAD inside a Walmart! And then they always critique some of the girls for being "too commercial" and not "high-end" fashion enough.
Miss Jay is channeling Moe from the Three Stooges.
I'm glad Jessica went home. Even though I would have liked for Sandra to go, I was getting really sick of Jessica's "I am so gorgeous. Everyone, I'm gorgeous. Hello? Has everyone seen how beautiful I am?" crap. Yeah, we got it. It's not like they would have picked someone to be a contender for top model if she had a Quasimodo hump back, crossed eyes, and hill billy teeth.
I laughed out loud when I saw the horrible effects on the blackberry. Good grief. Why can't Tyra just say "we're doing makeovers and no one will know what they get until it's done." No theatrics needed. We fell in love with ANTM when it wasn't all beat to hell with superfluous effects.
And finally, the photo shoot was horrible. The premise of it was a great one, but these girls are in their second week of modeling. Are they really going to know what they're doing? This shoot would have been better further on in the competition after you've weeded out some of the girls who have absolutely no clue.
Does anyone else think the quality of the photos is terrible this year? Not the modeling, the photos themselves. Grainy. It distracts from the modeling.
Cynic, Miss J isn't channeling Moe. As I pointed out last week, with the dopey haircut and the bowtie and cardigan, he's channeling Jerry Lewis in the Nutty Professor (not Eddie Murphy, which would be a great improvement). All he needs to complete the look are gl***es and buck teeth. THIS guy is supposed to tell me what's fashionable??? Please, do a crossover show and drag in Clinton Kelly to beat him up!
I also have a major beef with whole makeover concept. Every year Tyra argues that it teaches the models to be open to change, but has anybody noticed that in the last six years, SHE has never changed HER look??!! Put your money where your mouth is, lady! Furthermore, it's the 21st century; did it EVER occur to any of these producers to use computer generated programs to see how the model would look with the style BEFORE you make a permanent change that takes months to grow out? (If they can make it a game on their website, why can't they apply it to the show?)Or for that matter, using wigs?? C'mon, when they had the bald photo shoot in Cycle 6, they didn't shave all the model's heads!
BTW, does Tyra keep records of which haircuts she uses? The blond fauxhawk didn't work on Celia any more than it worked on Sara in Cycle 6, nor is the blond buzzcut any better on Sandra than it was on Claire last year.
This episode really solidified my faves as Allison, Celia and Teyona. I love how Jessica still did NOT get why she was eliminated with her parting line: "I can leave with my head held high, because I know I'm prettier than a lot of the girls there." This isn't a pageant, sweetheart.
Lisa,
I don't want to make your recaps a ton longer, but I'd love a little more detail about what happens at panel because it's so important.
Can you give a brief rundown of each girls photo (your quick impression and/or judges critique)? And I'd like to know who's in the bottom two as well, not just who goes home.
I thought Moe last week myself, but agree that Miss Jay is doing Jerry Lewis. His bow tie getting bigger each week is a really stupid idea. And I gotta say, I'm really tired, in general, of some of the gimmicks on the show. They detract from what I like to see, which is the young women trying to become models (and fighting with each other of course). We didn't have these things in the past and the show was fine - better than fine.
Speaking of gimmicks, I'd also love Tyra to stop including a "plus" sized model and please (pretty please) stop having a "specialty" model each cycle. I'm so not against the idea of a transgendered model, a burn survivor model, etc. But they should only be included if (and this is a big if) they *seriously* have a shot. I thought Isis had potential, but just started to fall apart last cycle. This cycle, while I like Tahlia and think she has a pretty face, overall she doesn't really look like a model and doesn't seem to know how to model at all. I feel the same way about this cycle's "plus" sized model (I can't even remember her name). I feel that those two slots could have gone to two other girls eliminated in the first episode who were stronger.
Hi Varris - thanks for the suggestion! It's a fine balance to strike b/t "too much boring detail" and "not enough juicy detail"...but it's great to hear what YOU want more of so I can focus on that. Thank you.
And word to Cheri: the grainy photos are distracting. I'll have to ask around about that one.
Thanks for reading!
I was sad to see Fo being such a whiner, because she was my favorite.
I think this photo shoot was the most underwhelming in Top Model history. Seriously, it was just bad and boring! Very uninspiring!