'True Beauty': An Obstacle Course, of course, of course

Now that Chelsea is gone from True Beauty, is there anything worth watching on this show anymore? Anyone? Bueller?

With Joel emerging triumphant from the Hall of Beauty, he now thinks his poop smells like rosebuds. Everyone else was kind of hoping for him to go home simply for the fact that he's such stiff competition. Their desires were reinforced when all Joel could talk about was his amazing charm and good-lookingness. Apparently, he doesn't think he belonged in the bottom two in the first place.

For today's challenge, Vanessa shows up looking like Workout Barbie. On the outside, the challenge will appear to be a physical fitness test. But it's not true! This show is full of twists! Aren't you excited? Sigh. Anyway, they're actually going to be judges on how well they interact with their teenage volunteers.

First up, they're all put on the scale. The True Beauty producers decided it would be funny to fudge up the scale, making it say 10 pounds more than their actual weight. Naturally, Billy caused quite a commotion. Billy knows exactly what he weighs, down to the ounce. Billy knows the scale is wrong. Billy wants you to eat a Power Bar. Laura also throws a fit. Apparently, being 118 pounds is, like, totally way fat. That's, like, really gross.

While Julia struggles to do a pushup, Billy continues to share his food intake with all the teens. "Did you know that a breakfast of whole wheat toast and a protein shake will help you grow up big and strong? Just like me, the Chippendales Dancer!" Drink up, kids. Joel seems natural with the kids and is also a machine with the push-ups. Has he been juicing A-Rod style? Laura is afraid of doing any strenuous activity for fear that her implants will burst. And poor little Ray can't keep up with the muscles of Joel and Billy.

It might look like an ordinary lunch break... but of course there are hidden cameras everywhere. The fat kid takes one for the team and plays the role of the "loner." The test will be to see who sits with the loner or who sits at the table with the "cool kids." To no one's surprise, Julia chats with the loner, Laura ignores everybody, and Billy and Joel join the cool kids. Ray also joins the cool kids, but throws in a comment about the loner growing up to be a sniper. How delightfully tacky of you.

Vanessa has the test results in her hand and decides to rip them up. She lets the teens decide who they think should win the fitness challenge. After an intense deliberation, Joel is chosen as the winner. Laura and Ray are sent to the bottom two.

Back at the mansion, Billy takes one last stab at asking Laura out on a date. Of course she averts answering. Duh, Billy. She just liked the attention. Ray is paranoid that his outfit isn't perfect enough, so he holds a fashion show. He settles on the "College Fraternity President" look and off they head for the Hall of Beauty.

They're even Steven going into the final hidden challenge. There's a "homeless" guy pushing a cart of cans, which will spill everywhere right in front of them. First of all, LA homeless people are creepy. Even I wouldn't help. But both Ray and Laura surprised us all by helping. So they're even again.

After going through their individual transgressions, Ray is chosen to leave. He doesn't seem pissed by the whole hidden camera thing. Can someone please flip a lid about this? I bet Joel will. On next week's show, we'll be forced to meet Ashton Kutcher's mom. Umm... why?

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