'Rock of Love Bus' Would Ally Sheedy play in the mud?

We are down to ten girls on the Rock of Love Bus and that means it's time for the annual Mud Bowl. Which proved that just when you thought all the mystery of this show was gone, more can be stripped away. Literally.

But before we get to that, we find out that Jennifer sleeps in more makeup than I wear in a month. That aside, her father also recently passed away. At first they are cagey about how recently he passed, but it is soon enough revealed that it was about a week ago. Now, I understand that grief makes us do crazy things. But appearing on the trashiest reality show on air? Who does that?

The girls are split into two teams and I could go into the names of who is on each team, but it's easier to say "blonds vs brunettes". Kami is happy to be away from the blondterage, explaining that she feels "stupider to be around them". Oh, sweet irony. In addition to the winning team getting a date, the MVP of the game will get a solo date with an overnight stay in Dallas with Brett.

Ashley decides that the best way to win the MVP is to beat that pants off her opponents! Except, replace the word "beat" with "remove". It's basically what she does, every chance she gets. I don't want to think about the places that got muddy, so lets move on. Ashley scores a touchdown for her team, but even combined with the pantsing she can't match Mindy's unbridled enthusiasm. The brunettes win and Mindy gets the solo date.

Mindy describes the experience like any "first date with a regular guy". I am not sure what circles she travels in, but my typical first date doesn't involve television cameras, limos or private jets whisking us off to concerts where I stand on the side of a stage and watch my date sing before a legion of screaming fans. I also don't retire to a private hotel suite on a first date, nor do I own a single item of leopard print lingerie. And if I did, I would not wear it with black stockings and black heels, which made her legs look stumpy. I'm just saying.

She returns to the group the next afternoon and all the girls want to know what happened but Mindy is vague, saying she doesn't "kiss and tell". Sweetheart, we just saw you in your underwear, making out with the man. You passed "telling" a couple million viewers ago. Meanwhile, Brett is preparing for the group date when he gets the sobering news that a friend of his was recently killed in Iraq. He tells the girls on the date, which lends the show a level of gravitas never before seen on VH1. After the date, he tells the rest of the girls as well and Jennifer takes the opportunity to tearfully tell him about the loss of her father.

At elimination, Farrah attempts to snark that Taya needs to go home because of her over-sized necklace. Who else thinks Farrah needs to go for her constant refrain of "What the french"? Alas, none of us get what we want, as Brett decides to eliminate Jennifer. As he tells her, she needs to be taking this time to take care of healing her own soul and not dealing with the sort of trials and tribulations Rock of Love Bus would put her through.

And I agree. But Jennifer could at least hold a conversation, whereas Brittanya's vocabulary seems to consist mainly of "yeah" and "uh-huh".  Additionally, the dress Ashley wore to elimination made me realize that she has very angry looking boobs. Who else is scared of them? Also, who else thinks Jamie needs to give up her Ally Sheedy circa The Breakfast Club look? And is it just me, or does Kami appear to be wearing a wig? Is she hoping to get closer to Brett through plastic hair?

E-mail

• Digg
• Facebook
• Fark
• Yahoo Buzz
• Stumbleupon