'Chuck,' Dominic Monaghan, and the annoying gimmick

Chuck is back, which is a cause for celebration. Too bad The Powers That Be chose to clutter up a perfectly decent episode full of great lines, an always-amusing guest star, and some heartfelt moments with a frustrating gimmick. Grrr.

Mutter mutter grumble spoiler.

Chuck is still dealing with seeing Sarah gun down the unarmed Fulcrum agent in the last episode (oh, so long ago...), and it's making him scream like a girl in his sleep. Awesome and Morgan both prescribe a day off, but it's not to be. When Chuck gets to the Buy More, it's swarming with fans waiting to see Tyler Martin (played with gusto by Dominic Monaghan, who is apparently the go-to guy for dissolute rock stars on TV.) But Chuck catches sight of one of those fans planting a grenade near the desk where Tyler will appear. After a made-for-3D-but-otherwise-pointless toss-the-grenade sequence, the store is saved. But why is someone trying to kill Tyler -- and why are they using military-grade grenades to do it?

General Beckman wants to find out -- so she tells the team to take Tyler in. After Sarah works her feminine wiles, and Casey wields his tranq darts, the team stashes Tyler in Casey's apartment. Sarah and Casey leave Chuck to babysit the sleeping Tyler while they track down the bomber. But Tyler has a rock-star metabolism, so he shrugs off the effects of Casey's tranq much earlier than he was supposed to. It's time to party -- and Chuck gets to come along.

Things start out great -- a bar, copious amounts of alcohol, scantily clad women all around them -- but turn ugly when Chuck realizes that the two young lovelies taking Tyler upstairs are actually assassins. When Chuck tells Tyler that this is a bad idea, and works on his better instincts -- "I'm begging you, just once, deny yourself this pleasure" -- Tyler misinterprets it and decides Chuck needs the nookie more than he does. Cue stammering Chuck, flung knives, a leap to an outdoor glass elevator, the reappearance of the knife-wielding lovelies, the reappearance of Tyler, another tranq dart, and a Casey/Sarah smackdown of half-dressed assassins. All is well.

Back at Casey's place, Chuck flashes on the reason Tyler's in danger -- it's his tattoos. His manager arranges for him to get a new tattoo after every significant foreign stop. These tattoos are actually coded messages -- the latest one, received in North Africa, is actually a message about a secret nuclear reactor. Only one thing to do -- Chuck needs to convince Tyler to go on with his concert anyway, in hopes of drawing out the bomber. Tyler is understandably unhappy about this, but after a stirring Chuck speech, he agrees.

While Sarah and Casey search the crowd for the bomber, Chuck discovers that the bomber made an end run around them. He's at the dressing room door. Chuck has Tyler hide in the closet, then bluffs the bomber -- kill him, and I email this picture of the tattoo message to the whole WORLD! It works -- but Tyler decides to be heroic and jumps out of his hiding place.  They flee to the stage, then resort to stage diving when the killer follows them. Sarah and Casey find the bomber in the crowd, and Tyler and Chuck are safe.

After it's all over, Tyler thanks Chuck for teaching him a Very Important Lesson, then staggers off to do more dissipated rock-star stuff. Bye, Tyler! Don't get on any Oceanic Airlines flights! Meanwhile, Chuck confesses to Sarah that he saw her kill the unarmed Fulcrum agent, and that he's not sure he can handle all this. Sarah tells him she understands -- he can take off as much time as he wants. Then she and Casey leave for a mission, and Chuck realizes that the day off is the last thing he wants. He crawls into the Crown Vic, ready to help on the mission. Road trip!

The Buy Morons
Big Mike's friend, Jimmy Butterman, has just gotten out of the clink, and Big Mike gave him a job. Morgan is his official guide, despite being terrified. Things get more fraught when Morgan finds the Golden Ticket and backstage pass to Tyler's concert, and everyone vies for it. He devises the Morgan Triathlon to determine who will be his plus-one. First, the Molly Ringwald challenge. The first person to bring a pair of women's underwear... Butterman rips Lester's bikini briefs off without removing Lester's pants. Lester is traumatized (and insulted -- "I'm a man, for God's sake. I'm a man!"), but Morgan allows it. Next, a sub-eating contest, which Jeff wins handily. Finally, the Urinal Cake challenge.... which Jeff ends when he picks it up and takes a bite. EW! Morgan was just going to give it to the first person to touch the cake, but sure, I guess that works too.

But later, Morgan sees Butterman paralyzed for choice at the soda machine. He's been denied his freedom for so long -- he deserves this! The guys hand the ticket to Butterman, who promptly sells it and takes off for Zihuatanejo. Later, Big Mike mocks Morgan -- Butterman was a white-collar criminal. They got played.

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

• I was denied the 3-D goodness, as I couldn't find the glasses anywhere in the Chicago area (yeah, I know, I hear they were at Target, but it's a trek to get to one.) If you saw the 3-D -- was it worth it? 
• Chuck is deeply uncomfortable during the sexy Sarah dream -- "This is clearly my subconscious at work, and on behalf of my conscious self, I'd like to apologize. I'm normally much more respectful of women, even in my dreams." Ah, but this isn't a dream, Sarah says -- it's a nightmare. She whips out a knife, and Chuck wakes up screaming. "That's not the way that dream was supposed to go..." he whimpers.
• Beckman says she's sure they're wondering why anyone would want to blow up Tyler. "Not really," Chuck says. "Have you heard his music? It's overproduced, the lyrics are completely banal... I mean, Facebook even has a group called 'I want to kill Tyler Martin.' Not that I'm a member. I would never... that's just wrong."
• Chuck poses as a record-company rep when Tyler wakes up. That backfires -- Tyler keeps saying things like "Tonight, all the drinks are on the record company!"
• Tyler is determined to get Chuck laid. he introduces Chuck as a member of his band, and Chuck eventually goes with it. He puts on a British accent and says he's the drummer. "Like a little drummer boy. Come they told me. Barumpapumpum." That's.... not going to work as a pickup line.
• Chuck's accent only last for about two sentences, but it's worth it just to hear him say "ballet" with the stress on the first syllable.
• Chuck gets pissy when Sarah and Casey confront him about going with Tyler out to the club: "Is it really so wrong to want a night off? I was having a really good time, too, until the assassins stole my pants and tried to kill me!"
• Tyler weighs the situation: "No, I'm not ok. I don't know where I am, how I got here, and someone's trying to kill me. On the plus side, your friend's tranqs are out of this world." Casey is not amused.
• Zihuatanejo -- hee. It may or may not be "Mexican for Philadelphia," as Big Mike says, but it's definitely a Shawshank Redemption shout-out.
• Tyler is thrilled that Chuck taught him a Valuable Lesson: "You taught me to put people in front of my self. It felt kind of wonderful. I can strike that off the list now."

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