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RSS'True Beauty': Survival of the Fittest
True Beauty is supposed to be catching people acting like jerks with trickery and hidden cameras. Instead, the contestants seem to act like normal people when the cameras aren't there, but they act like total tools when the cameras are in plain sight. Hmm... could it be because they're attention whores who went on TV for money?
Harvey Dent's got nothin' on these spoilers.
Last week, CJ's random act of kindness landed him a ticket out of the Hall of Beauty and back to the Mansion of Shame. Everyone's shocked that Ashley went home (because pretending like you're collecting money for charity is, like, the cool thing to do) and think it should have been CJ. However, the topic of conversation has once again been shifted back to Chelsea. Not only does Monique think she lacks a heart, she also thinks Chelsea lacks other internal organs such as her brain. Which is ironic, considering she's saying all this stuff without realizing that Chelsea is snooping around the corner.
The challenge this week is pretty straight-forward. They'll be channeling their inner top model by taking some action shots like they're the next Maria Sharapova. They form two groups through the process of natural selection and the rules are explained. Apparently, the team captain of the losing team will automatically go to the Hall of Beauty, joined by the contestant on the losing team with the worst pic. Oh noes!
The producers set up a "rehearsal" bit where they'll get to learn how to play basketball. Which, if the contestants thought about it long enough, they'll realize is ludicrous because everyone knows how to dribble a ball. Regardless, it's more or less a ruse for the hidden camera challenge. While one team is rehearsing, the other team is getting fitted for their slutty sports clothes. They've hired an actress to pose as the wardrobe lady, who is apparently having the worst day of her life (and I'm going out on a limb by saying it has nothing to do with the cheating boyfriend and more to do with the spoiled brats).
Team Primate: Chelsea, CJ (cap'n), Ray, and Monique are first up in the hot seat. The dramatic wardrobe lady starts her crying act, and not surprisingly CJ takes the bait. You think he's figured out the show's devious intentions? Mo and Chelsea are the epitome of ladylike with their respective burps and luggies.
Team Neanderthal: Consisting of Joel (aye aye), Julia, Billy, and Laura, this team is decidedly less caring than the others. While Team Primate did nothing to console the wardrobe lady, Team Neanderthal actually talked smack about her behind her back. Julia "passed" by casually asking if she was OK, but it was a stretch. I'd call it passing with a D average.
The next day is the photo shoot, and even though CJ has hurt himself, the show must go on. First up is Team Neanderthal, who do a good job at looking pretty but are decidedly way more flaky than Team Primate. Team Primate's captain CJ can't keep his friggin' mouth shut long enough for his teammates to take a decent picture, while his picture makes him look like a limp noodle. That's what she said.
"Wow. This is, like, totally hard work. OMG, let's have a Toga party!" We take a break from the usual cattiness to watch some typical reality show debauchery, complete with nakedness, alcohol, lap dances, and Truth or Dare. Now, back to the competition.
The judges show up to reveal the winner. Nolé loves Neanderthals, Cheryl hates Primates. We have a winner, and it's the Neanderthals. That means CJ is in the bottom two. Then, they reveal that Monique is being sent to the Hall of Beauty too. Say what? Chelsea definitely had the worst picture, but hey, she makes good TV. Mo has nothing better to do than cry a lot and sling around her suitcase. She's pretty sure she's a goner. In the words of Nelson Muntz: "HA-HA."
CJ has done a 180 after his jeans and t-shirt debacle of last week and has dusted off the debonair suit. He's looking fly, I gotta say. Mo's also looking boobalicious in her little black dress. For the last hidden challenge, Mo and CJ will have to decide whether to pick up an empty water bottle that some sloppy dude throws in their path. Let's see if CJ can go two for two in the final hidden camera challenge.
Inside, Vanessa asks them both to give a speech as to why they should stay. Monique wins the Razzie award for best waterworks, insisting that she should stay so she can show America how beautiful she is. CJ rambles on and on about inner beauty, and once again we worry that CJ has figured out the ruse. Either way, he's safe. Monique is going home tonight.
Mo doesn't seem terribly surprised by the whole hidden camera thing. She sees her deplorable behavior and tries her best to defend it. The straw that broke the camel's back was the littering thing... she didn't even glance at the bottle, while CJ actually picked it up and threw it away. Mo insists that she's not normally mean, but that she was just trying to "fit in" and jumped on the bandwagon. Yeah, that's what the Nazis said.
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
Thanks for the recap. They preempted this show in my area for inauguration "pregame" activities.
It is funny to me how the GIRLS are much less beautiful than the GUYS - both inside and out.
I actually was with the uncaring people on this challenge. It's one thing for the wardrobe lady to be upset and having a bad day. It's another for her to continue to answer her phone and fight with her boyfriend. That is unprofessional behavior. They had every right to have a problem with that type of behavior.
Quite frankly I thought it was a stupid challenge with the wardrobe lady. She is on the cell phone, arguing. She is strolling around, talking loud on the phone. How do you approach someone strolling around? It would be rather rude during that conversation to show any type of concern at that point. So now she gets off the phone, basically only one person can show concern, because how many times to several people go out to a stranger? I just thought it was set up where more people fail than not.
Anyway, the burp did in Monique.
Me, I don't think the girls are THAT much worse than the guys as far as inner non-beauty. (outside,yeah they guys are better looking, hands down!) Billy was pretty much a d*** when he told the wardrobe lady "People magazine and $100,000 is riding on this - suck it up." And Joel couldn't be more repulsive with his conceit and trashing of the others - I feel like I need a bath every time he speaks. Ray is kind of non-offensive, and I love CJ.
I thought the winning team was much worse to the wardrobe woman than the losing team. And, yeah, she was unprofessional but you could still say "You gonna be OK?" even if you're just feeling out whether you need to let producers know there's a potential fly in the ointment. It takes a few seconds and it should be second nature.
I'm a little concerned that, if the show is to punish mean-spiritedness and conceit, then having competitions where one team is immune to a trip to the Hall of Beauty means the most deserving jerk may not get gone. Maybe they just figure they'll get to them all eventually.
So far, CJ should be a shoo-in to win. He's gorgeous and, except for that one - albeit disappointing - slip collecting money, he's easily the most comp***ionate. He even tried to take up for Chelsea without there being a reason to. Pump up your game and stay out of the Hall, CJ!
The challenges on the show are obviously not prepared by a team of psychologists, because showing "comp***ion" for a loud, boisterous, cantankerous person on a cell phone is what most people want to avoid. Even when she was breaking down crying, who wants to get involved with that hysteria? Ashton Kutcher and Tyra Banks are far from being social psychologists to conduct adequate human research analysis.
Vanessa's grammar ("you will meet Nole, Cheryl, and I...") drives me up the wall. Will someone please tell her (or the writers) it's ME, not I!
That said, CJ is also my favorite, though I kind of like Chelsea, too.
I kind of think CJ does have a idea or inside info about what the show is all about
Kimberly, I screamed the same thing at the TV! It's ME, not I in that case (Join Nole, join Cheryl, join ME. It's not rocket science!)
I'm wondering if CJ has caught on, too. I think so. After all, it's not THAT hard to figure out.
I'm beginning to think that CJ is a plant. Do you think there's a mole in this group?