'The Biggest Loser: Couples': Opportunity wasted

Hey kids! Let's play spot the hypocrisy this week on The Biggest Loser: Couples! Compare the statements people make at the beginning of the episode with those they make at the end, when it's time for elimination. It's fun for the whole family!

This spoiler does not consider fried chicken a salad item.

We pick up this week right after Jerry's departure, and everyone is sad and a little indignant. Mandi and Blaine seem particularly peeved.

Temptation challenge! The team that consumes the most calories gets a private day with their partner and trainer at home. Teams Purple, Pink, Red, Green, Black and Brown choose not to eat anything. Mandi gets tearful at the thought of spending time at home with her kids, so she nibbles a slice of pizza. Aubrey ate nothing and encourages her sister remember why they're playing the game, prompting more tears form Mandi. Filipe ate nothing, but Sione noshed on pizza and tacos in hopes of getting Bob to come visit and whip him into shape. Joelle went so far as to put a donut in her mouth, but she didn't actually eat it. Carla, one the other hand...She consumed three slices pizza, five chicken nuggets, one taco and two cupcakes. Holy crap!

Team Silver gets the prize. But wait -- what about Team Orange? They are conspicuously absent from the challenge, and I call foul. David chose fried chicken during regular meals. Are we supposed to believe he turned down the good stuff when he had a quasi-legitimate reason to eat it?

Bob travels to Detroit with Joelle, and it's painful. When he tells Carla that Joelle is slacking, Carla gets crazy. She screams at Joelle, loud enough to make other people in the gym stick their head in the room to see what's happening. After Carla repeats how horrible Joelle is for the thousandth time, Joelle basically shuts down. Joelle is acting like a petulant child, but I can't say I blame her. Nice going, guys -- you made me feel sorry for Joelle. Thanks a lot.

The Challenge
It's time for a "classic" Biggest Loser challenge -- the swing hop! The last one standing who doesn't break the bar get immunity. Joelle thinks that she'll be able to do this -- but breaks the bar on the first swing. Ron, Dan and Helen follow quickly. Damien and Filipe last  longer, but they end up breaking the bar as well. Then Mandi's out, which prompts tears. Again.

That leaves Tara, Kristin and Dane. Blaine yells that Dane can't let the girls beat him. Haven't you learned that those playground tactics just make the girls want to kick your butt? Indeed, Dane breaks the bar soon after. Kristin and Tara keep hopping for 2 hours and 19 minutes -- more than 1000 jumps. In the end, Kristin loses focus first and snaps the bar. She's devastated, and even Tara feels bad about it. She comforts Kristin, that goes off to puke. Again.

The Weigh-in
Tara has immunity -- but this week, she doesn't need it. She posts an 8 pound loss, and is thrilled. Teams Black and Brown both have crazy good weeks -- Brown loses a combined total of 20 pounds, with Mike losing more than his dad for the first time. Team Black drops 30 pounds combined. That's just nuts. Dan also has a stellar week, dropping 15 pounds, while Filipe kicks butt with a 14-pound loss. Wow.

Helen, Kristin and Mandi are in the mid range -- they lose 6, 7 and 8 pounds, respectively. Damien has a disappointing week, dropping "only" 4 pounds. However, he has some hope -- Joelle drops "only" 6 pounds, which means she's the other person below the yellow line. Surely she's going home... right?

Both Damien and Joelle are members of Bob's team. The other team members are all for sending Joelle home. Jillian's team consults with Bob's folks, saying they respect their decision to boot off Joelle. At the vote, things seem to be going according to plan: Team Brown, Filipe, Kristin and Helen all vote for Joelle. Joy!

But Jillian's team suddenly changes its tune. Mandi, who at the top of the show complained about Joelle being "wishy-washy," is suddenly concerned with Carla's well-being. Blaine, who said "Joelle doesn't work as hard as everyone else and is just crazy," now thinks Joelle needs this. Tara, who asked Joelle point blank if she wanted to stay (Joelle hemmed and hawed and couldn't answer), thinks Joelle deserves another chance. Dan rounds out the vote for Damien. It's a tie, and because Damien had the lowest percentage of weight loss, he's going home. Argh!

Both Damien and Nicole look damn good in their at-home interview -- Nicole has lost 76 pounds, while Damien has dropped 74. I'm happy for them... but I'm so freaking mad at Jillian's team that I can hardly even focus on them. Argh!

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

• We got more evidence of what life on the ranch is like when Bob calls back to the ranch from Detroit, and just about everyone on his team seems to be icing their legs. Don't try this at home!
• Dr. H. talks to Don and Blaine about their medications -- specifically, how they don't need them any more. But two of Blaine's meds were for depression or anxiety. While weight loss and exercise can certainly help, I'm not sure exercise endorphins alone can make up for a chemical imbalance in the brain. Plus, those are meds you have to carefully wean yourself off of-- just quitting can seriously mess with your head. It seems irresponsible for them to imply that once you start working out, you can pitch your Prozac with no ill effects.
• I almost think that Dr. H took all those pills from Blaine so he could feed them to Bob, who looks like he's about to lose his mind from dealing with Joelle and Carla.
• Carla goes bonkers on Joelle, screaming and berating her at every opportunity. Carla: That approach is not working. Shut it.
• Carla really needs to pay attention when Bob talks. She started heaving a barbell to show Joelle how much harder she works, while Bob tries to get her to stop because her form was lousy and she risked serious injury. Pay attention to the Bob!
• David seems to be having the most trouble at home. He goes out to eat with someone, who asks if there's a salad bar. Yup, says David, picking up fried chicken. "I can't believe you're eating fried chicken and Daniel is working his tail off right now." the friend says. "It's only one piece -- depending on how hungry I am when I'm done with it," David replies. Sigh.
• Dr. Jillian spends some time with Mandi, who is hitting an emotional wall and crying a lot. I know this show is a hell of a thing to go through, and Mandi is dealing with years of psychological issues, but I wish she didn't cry all the freaking time....
• The other constant refrain - Tara puking. She was apparently throwing up in her mouth throughout the challenge. If we establish a Biggest Loser drinking game, Mandi crying and Tara puking would definitely be on the list. We'd be smashed within minutes.
• Filipe looks about ready to kill Blaine when he votes for Damien. Next week is going to be interesting...
• Why did Jillian's team do it? Are they trying to weaken Bob's folks by keeping the weak, annoying and distracting link there? Are they hoping to see Bob lose it again? Or do they just hate me and want me to suffer?

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