'Privileged': Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Maybe I read too much into things, but I was quite peeved when I looked through my copy of Entertainment Weekly this week and stumbled upon the following blurb about this week's episode of Privileged: "You knew once Sage and Rose's skipping-lessons plots ran dry, Megan's mom would turn up." Not cool. Maybe there was no harm intended by EW, but I resent the implication stated therein, that we're only delving into the backstory of Megan's family because the original premise of the show, Megan and the girls, has somehow become stale. It suggests that looking into Megan's family is some kind of panic move on the part of the Privileged writers because the main thrust of the series just isn't enough for sustainability.

For starters, that's not true. But that's a subjective opinion either way; if somebody out there does believe that the Megan-Rose-Sage thread is stale, they're free to think that. What's not subjective is this: any plotline having to do with Megan's life outside the Baker twins has less to do with the long-term viability of the premise of the show, and more to do with the fact that that's how every show on TV works. Every show gets bigger and broader over time. Every show adds layers of complexity. With Privileged, introducing stories about Megan's parents has nothing at all to do with Megan's stories with Rose and Sage becoming tired, and everything to do with the fact that we knew all along that these developments were on the horizon. Megan talked about her messed-up parents back in the pilot. This is not some out-of-nowhere plot twist to save a creatively languishing series.

All series add more and more layers over time. To that end, I posed a question last week about whether the show should really bother with giving us plotlines about Laurel. But it was really a rhetorical question. Yes, of course the show needs to give us more development to Laurel, because the show needs to give more development to everybody over time. (Yes, even Lily.) That's just what good shows do. Of course, now that we've seen this episode as well, we must make note of an apparent caveat: there is an apparent Old Person Quota in play. If we have an episode with Megan's parents, it must mean Laurel is absent. So now we know.

Megan begins the episode hanging out with her dad. The newly reestablished relationship between these two is precarious enough, but things are immediately going to get dicier when Mr. Smith gets a phone call from the long-absent Mrs. Smith. It turns out that when Arthur was going through AA a while back, he contacted Shelby, as making amends with the people you have hurt is one of those twelve steps. Shelby, you'll recall, abandoned the family when Megan and Lily were little girls, a fact which Megan has alternately been driven by and haunted by ever since.

When Megan sees her mom for the first time in a decade and a half, she's ... actually, I think the best way of putting it is that Megan here in regard to her mom is a lot like Lily was in regard to Megan when Megan showed up. (There's a free analogy for the inevitable SAT prep episodes.) She's bitter, angry, and not about to welcome her wayward family member back with open arms. Megan stands silently and defensively, before eventually storming out.

Megan next tries to get in touch with Lily, but Lily is out of town - on her honeymoon. Lily's boss at the salon, Dale, explains to Megan that Lily and "Sleazy Sammy" got married the week before. "Oh, look at you, three steps behind," Dale notes of the dumbstruck Megan.

So Megan's next stop in finding somebody to talk to takes her to Charlie and Mandy's place, where Megan vents about her problems, Charlie plays the super-supportive friend role, and Mandy looks on very uncomfortable with this arrangement. But if Mandy is annoyed at being a third wheel with her own boyfriend, she's got company. Will's in the same position, as here Megan first tried to talk to Lily and then to Charlie.

Still unable to reach Lily, Megan finally circles back to her father. Arthur didn't know about Lily's wedding either. But Shelby is still there, and Megan goes off when she tries to interject and ask about Lily. "Your opinion means nothing!" Megan screeches. She concludes that Shelby has no right to talk about either herself or Lily as her daughters, then storms off once again, telling her father that she'll be around to talk only after Shelby has left.

Megan continues on the warpath, venting to Charlie over the phone about how she wanted to punch her mother in the face. Will walks in for the back end of this conversation, and is forlorn about the fact that Megan talks about all this with Charlie but not with him. Megan tries a couple of excuses, first that this is depressing stuff that she doesn't want to burden Will with, and second that Charlie knows all the players in this story but Will doesn't, but Will isn't satisfied with those answers.

Artie comes to see Megan. Megan thinks that he's going to apologize for bringing Shelby to town without warning, but instead, Mr. Smith actually voices his disappointment in Megan for not giving her mother a second chance. Megan gave him a second chance, but she's not giving one to her mom. Megan argues that this is different, that Mr. Smith didn't just abandon them like Mrs. Smith did.

Ooh, a Megan-Will-Charlie-Mandy double-date. You might think this would be uncomfortable for everyone, but Megan is still completely oblivious as to Charlie's feelings for her, so really it's just uncomfortable for everyone else. Will and Charlie have very different advice for Megan. Will suggests that Megan just fake a little pleasantness with her mother in order to please her father. That's not going to happen. Megan is not exactly a keep-your-feelings-to-yourself kind of person. Megan's annoyed at Will for not understanding, but it's Charlie who actually comes to Will's defense here. "Give him some time. It took me years to finally understand the madness that was the Smith family," Charlie notes. But Charlie consoling Megan only annoys Will some more. Charlie and Will step outside later for a little bit of puffing out their chests at one another and Will calling Charlie out on his feelings for Megan. The Megan-Charlie-Will train is rapidly picking up speed, careening toward the inevitable big blowup.

Megan decides to bite the bullet and meet with her mom, and is shocked to find that it's not entirely unpleasant. Shelby is a little uncouth, but she's also quite incisive, as she helps Megan think about a possible writing project for Will's father in a completely new light. She's much more like Megan than Megan would care to admit.

Megan is thus satisfied. She got through the weekend with her mother relatively unscathed, and can now go back to a life of pretending that Shelby doesn't exist. But then her parents completely ruin that plan, as parents are wont to do. Megan arrives at her father's house to find her parents looking quite cozy, and bearing the news that Shelby is actually going to be sticking around for a while.

As for Lily, she never actually shows up in the episode, and the shocker of her apparent marriage is completely ignored for the last half hour. But whether she did get married or not, she's not likely to be any less entangled in Megan's affairs, according to Korbi's most recent scoop. We shall see.

Meanwhile, this is the last of the two-week experiment with Privileged on Monday nights after Gossip Girl, and regardless of what it means long-term for Privileged's ratings, I can take this conclusion for sure: watching the scheming of an average GG episode back-to-back with what qualifies for a cunning scheme for Rose and Sage is a little disorienting. It's like going to a pro hockey game where they have the little tykes come out and play in between periods. They're not remotely on the same playing field. That's not a bad thing at all; in fact, it may even be a little endearing that what qualifies for cunning plans and crazy capers for Rose and Sage is so amateurish.

While Sage and Luis continue their banter with one another, Rose doesn't understand what's going on at all, so Marco has to clue her in that this is young love. This makes Rose very excited, so Marco has to once again set her straight and explain to Rose that it'll never happen because Sage is too headstrong to ever admit that she actually likes Luis. Rose decides that what they need is to trick Sage into admitting her feelings, and enlists Marco in the caper.

Rose's clever machinations begin with trying to casually note how hot Luis is. OK, so it's not a very complex scheme. But it works in an unexpected way - Rose pretends to throw herself all over Luis, and Sage does get legitimately jealous. "Have you ever noticed that my sister is a full-on nympho?" Sage carps at Rami. But then Sage realizes what Rose is really doing, and she decides to teach Rose a lesson.

Sage's plan involves Zachary, Rose's latest crush (also known as James Franco's little brother). Sage tells Zachary that Rose likes him, and invites Zach to come over to the house. Zach comes in, makes a big romantic gesture, and for all his troubles Zach has to watch Rose instead focus her attention on Luis because she's preoccupied with making Sage jealous. Zachary heads off sad and confused, but no more confused than Luis. "Are they medicated?" he asks Marco once the girls are gone. Rose eventually realizes her mistake in sending Zachary away, and confesses her silliness to Sage. Sage basks in the glory of winning their little game, but she has also made sure to have Zach stick around, so he and Rose get to have their first date after all.

So maybe these kids' cunning schemes weren't all that deep. Maybe we need the adults after all. Marco steps in to provide his promised aid to Rose, showing how it's really done. The next morning, Marco informs Sage that Luis has been fired. See, now, this is playing in the big leagues. Sage is floored, and returns to her room to mope around. When Rose finds her, Sage confesses that she did indeed like Luis, only now it's too late to do anything. And with that, Rose pulls off the reveal and explains that Luis wasn't fired after all, that she and Marco had tricked her to finally admit her feelings. Ah, kids. They grow up so fast. Maybe there's a little Blair Waldorf growing up in there after all.

The Sharon Lawrence Channel
I really, really never would have predicted that I would one day be recapping a Sharon Lawrence performance and it would not have anything to do with the show I do on Lifetime. Have you ever seen the Lifetime Movie Network? I think they should rename it the Sharon Lawrence Channel. Then again, maybe the CW is the Sharon Lawrence Channel. Her last regular TV role was on Hidden Palms, where she ironically played the mother of Michael Cassidy's character. I wonder if we'll get any Lawrence-Cassidy scenes here.

This Week's Guide to Fabulousness
When Rose mentioned Zachary to Megan last week, Rose thought it was cool that Zachary wears a choker. But when Zach actually shows up here, there is no choker in sight. Chokers: maybe acceptable as a short-term way of drawing attention to yourself, but definitely not a look that anybody can credibly pull off long-term.

Next Week's Guide to ... Oh, Wait.
That's the last episode of 2008, kiddies. Privileged returns to its regular Tuesday night timeslot beginning January 6. See you then!

What did we think? Do you see a personality resemblance between Megan and Shelby? Megan's tutoring of Rose and Sage isn't really a stale plotline, is it? Would you actually read a magazine about rich people and their philanthropy? (Or, perhaps more to the point of this site, would you watch a TV show about that?) And is the 29-day break in between episodes enough time to print those Team Will and Team Charlie t-shirts the nation is clamoring for?

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