'The Hills': Heidi's 'Apprentice' moment

Previously on The Hills, Spencer was a dick in front of Heidi's bosses (that might be the worst thing he's done yet), Justin and Audrina were on again, off again, and now Audrina has a plan to take the relationship further. You mean, past the point where Justin plays stupid games with you?

Lauren asks for Audrina's help with an outfit to wear to a rock show (so she'll be the "girl at the rock show?") and Audrina drops the bomb that she's moving out to her own place this weekend. Aud says she hasn't told Justin yet. Oh man, I hope she gives him keys and he FREAKS OUT!

XIV. Heidi and Kimberly meet with the founder and CEO of their company, Brent Bolthouse. Bolthouse is opening a big club called XIV and it appears that Heidi is in charge of said opening. Kimberly is surprised that Heidi might invite Spencer. She wonders what is the problem with adding one more to the guest list. Wow, Heidi is even stupider than I thought. I love it. THis is going to be a bloodbath.

People's Revolution. Our weekly tell-work-buddy-what-is-going-on segment. Lauren fills Whitney in on Audrina moving out. Lauren and Whitney suspect Audrina is thinking she's moving in with Justin. I wonder if Justin knows that?

Dinner. Audrina tells Justin she found a house that she likes and he asks to see it. Maybe they can christen the pool. Topless. She then says she's worried about living by herself and then asks him to move in. OH MY GOD, WOMAN! Justin responds, "Let it just happen. See what happens." I side with Justin on this one. Is she mental? He just went to Cabo and was a huge jerk to you and you are asking him to move in? How needy can one girl possibly be?

The next day, she shows her sister Casey the house. Casey has arm sleeve tattoos and immediately seems 100 times cooler than any girl on this show except possibly Lauren and Whitney. Spin-off for Casey! Casey calls Audrina on her Justin obsession stuff and looks skeptical at Audrina's plans to "grow closer" to him. She astutely says, "So you bought this for 'Drina, right? Not so 'Drina and Justin could..." and just trails off. Yeah, Casey rules.

ALL house. Cleo the fish (is that from Pinocchio? Cause that's awesome.) swims around and Lo tells Lauren she feels bad about how it turned out with Audrina. Lo says her leaving isn't going to change her friendship with Lauren, but Lauren looks sad and says, "We'll see."

XIV opening. Random celebs flit around. Spencer shows up with Stephanie and Heidi is on her third tequila. Yes, cause it's always great to get knee-walkin' drunk at work. I'm a bartender and I don't even do that. Audrina, Casey and Justin round out the party. Spencer toasts to Audrina moving out and wonders if she's moving in with Justin. Justin, by the way, is dressed like a hoodlum. WTF? Put on a nice outfit for once, you scrub.

Heidi's boss wanders up and asks if Heid and Kim are still working. He tells her friends to leave them alone. As he should. Seriously, Heidi.

FIDM. Lauren and Steph dish about Audrina leaving and Lauren can't believe how sudden it is. Steph then spills that Heidi and Spencer were drinking and hanging out with Audrina, thinking maybe they'll do that more now that Audrina doesn't live with Lauren. Lauren looks sad.

Bolthouse. Kim is called into a Brent's office about drinking at the club opening. She says she wasn't drinking (which jives with what we saw) and then when he asks if Heidi was wasted, she lies but not terribly convincingly. Man, you should NOT have to cover for your co-worker drinking at a work event. Heidi gets called in to Brent's and she says she thought she could drink and he says of course that's not okay. He then says it wasn't okay for her boyfriend to be there either and THEN he fires her. I don't feel the slighest bit bad for her. What a freakin' moron. Spencer may be an ass, but Heidi is just dumb.

Audrina packs her stuff and Lauren offers to help. Man, Audrina's fake boobs are enormous and gravity-defying. My lord. They "aw" over a picture of Justin and Audrina where he is actually smiling. She actually thinks he's going to help her unpack at her new house. Uh, sure.

They thank each other for being such good friends to each other and they call Audrina's moving out a "to be continued." This just isn't tugging at my heartstrings, folks. It's not like Audrina's moving to Yemen. She leaves with the moving truck and Lauren and Lo hug on the driveway.

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