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RSS'Stylista': (H)elle's Belles
Many thanks to Andrea for covering this drama-fest for me last week. And you guys, much as I love the drama on Stylista, at this point I'm not sure there's a single contestant I actually like. Which is kind of a problem. You need to have someone to root for!
Assistant Task: The challenge is to purchase a thank you gift for Anne Slowey to give to Amy Sacco, a nightclub owner. They're working in self-selected pairs: Danielle/Ashlie, Megan/Johanna (damn it, Johanna...stop trying to make me hate you!) and Kate/A Very Unhappy Dyshaun. They have a budget of $250. How about a nice miter saw? Amazon recommends it as a luxury gift, so I'm sure she'd love it.
Danielle and Ashlie put together a travel survival kit, grabbing anything and everything in budget. It's pretty hard to imagine that what they got cost $250, and Slowey shares my incredulity. Megan and Johanna also go the travel route, buying a cashmere throw blanket. Slowey's not in love with the quality. Dyshaun and Kate stick with the classics: a vintage chanel brooch. Kate tries to relate it to art in front of Slowey, but when pressed can't name any art that it reminds her of. Megan and Johanna take the day. Yeah, fair enough. Sigh.
Editorial Task: Next, they're all headed to a party at Bungalow 8, where they'll help Slowey meet, greet, and identify all the guests. Then they'll create a party page for Elle, including photos, fashion highlights, and a unifying theme. Johanna and Megan, as winners, are rival team captains. They're upset, but I'm hoping this is Johanna's shot to rise out of the muck and join the non-evil people of the world in their non-evildom. Johanna uses her first pick to choose Kate, which surprises everyone, myself included. I mean, she's got good instincts, but she's not exactly low-drama. Johanna interviews that Kate has an amazing memory. She also gets Danielle. Megan gets Dyshaun and Ashlie, who is the last one picked.
As everyone's going crazy picking outfits from the Elle closet, Danielle's crying and terrified that nothing will fit her. Aww! Sad. Happily, she pulls herself together and finds an outfit, though she's not in love with it and winds up wearing her own dress. Johanna tries to make sure that Kate won't be a "booby parade," which is hysterical. The dress winds up being short, tight, and boobylicious.
Everyone spends the evening studying names. Team Megan Sucks decides to split up the names and study them casually, while Team Booby Parade goes balls-out memorizing everyone, with flashcards and everything. Megan mocks them, and I really hope it comes back to bite her in the ass. (Spoiler Alert: It doesn't.) Kate, unlike her teammates, doesn't take the studying very seriously.
Danielle asks Johanna and Ashlie what they think of her size. Um, terrible idea. Johanna is honest, and says that high fashion clothes look better on tall, thin women, and that's who she finds to be more attractive. Okay, that totally sucks, but she's being honest and Danielle asked. So I don't think she can complain about the answers she got, right? Danielle, it should be noted, is clearly over this competition. Very sad, but very true.
At the party, the assistants try their best to identify all the guests. Notable attendees include Nigel Barker (yay!), and...no one else I've ever heard of. Kate totally blows off the competition, coasting by on her teammates' often incorrect efforts. Team Booby Parade, and Johanna in particular, has a really tough time recognizing the people from the photos in the dossier. To be fair, all those tall skinny folks pretty much look alike. Team Megan Sucks, it must be said, kicks ass at it.
Team Booby Parade goes with an "Elite Street" theme, and Kate takes over the layout. The page looks better to me - also a black background, but with much less text, and a central photo with others radiating around it. The photos all have "witty" titles, and they tried to highlight a trend without focusing on it, apparently. The judges don't think they made the party look fun, and point out that they completely misidentified someone in a photo. No one takes responsibility. They note that Kate took a leadership role, rather than Johanna.
Team Megan sucks picks a leather theme: "(H)ELLE'S ANGELS." Clever, sure, but "Leather Daddy" would've been way better. Anyway, their page is a bit odd. The background is black, which makes the huge block of text really hard to read, and it has about a zillion photos that are all the same size and blend together. The judges don't like the lack of an establishing photo of the party host, think there was too much text (truth!), and comment on the misspelling of a designer's name (Dyshaun's fault, apparently). But, they like the photo selection.
Paula Froelich, Page Six fashion writer, is the guest judge. The judges name Team Megan sucks as the winning trio, and Team Booby Parade as the losers, which is honestly fine with me. At this point I barely care, I'm sorry to say. Miss Booby Parade herself is safe, but Anne points out that Johanna hasn't been a part of a winning team since week one (really?) and didn't take a leadership role. Danielle gets dinged for fading into the background, and is eliminated. Yeah, saw that one coming - she really got the loser cut tonight. Keep it subtle, editors! Still, sad to see her go. She was probably my fave out of the remaining contestants.
Is there anyone remaining whom you'd like to see take the title of Stylista? Did Danielle deserve to go home?
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
You're totally right. As of now, I dont care about any of these guys. At least with ANTM or AI I could find someone to root for. But as far as Im concerned, I dont really give a crap if any of these people wins this job. Except maybe Danielle though. Mostly because she was so different physically then the others, but knew her stuff. But she's outta there, so who do I root for now?? Dont know, dont care. Now that ANTM has crowned her queen, I dont even know if I'll remember to watch...
They keep mens suits in that closet but nothing for a full size woman. They picked danielle to be on the show. I smell set
up. Is it good in this climate to allianate any part of your reader ship.
Danielle also states when specking to the wafe like girll that the have more issue about there weight then she does.
But as you say it a fashion magazine its not the actual work its more important that fou fit the part or the dress
Yeah, there's no one left to root for. Maybe Johanna, but that's an iffy "maybe."
Kate talking about the importance of being comfortable with one's body was hysterical ... would she have us believe she's never done anything to change her body?
the problem with this show is that it lacks heart.
I thought it was kind of hilarious (in the stupid way that is this show's only possible humor) that Johanna's rationale for choosing Kate for her team was Kate's "amazing" memory, b/c she could remember what Johanna had worn "five weeks ago, when the competition started" (or something to that effect). Why was that funny, while simultaneously brain-dead? Because everyone knows that the show is shot over a few weeks and that each challenge takes place within a couple of days of each other. (They are not kept locked in the apartment for a week until the next week to begin another challenge!) So the "five weeks" really meant maybe 10 days. This is the extent of Kate's "photographic memory", which is laughable. As was Johanna's lame explanation (I smell set-up) as is this show in its entirety.
How do they get the names wrong? Aren't they allowed internet access?