'Prison Break': My betrayer, my Self

This week on Prison Break, the Breakouts defeat their enemies, achieve their goal, vanquish those who would harm them -- and then discover they're just as screwed as they'd always been. Dagnabbit! When are these crazy kids going to get their shot at a shirtless paradise?

These spoilers have silencers

When last we left the Breakouts, it looked like they'd made a fatal mistake in their quest for Scylla. Michael moved the mini-monolith, and the General came a-running. "You almost beat it," the General sneers. "The frustration must be killing you." But it was all a part of the plan -- they needed the General's card, and he just brought it right to them. The General remains smug -- you're still missing several cards. Au contraire, says Michael, exhibiting his wares. How did you get all five cards?" the General gasps. "The frustration must be killing you," Michael smugs back at him. I believe Sucre sums up the situation most poetically. Quoth Fernando, "Suck it, General."

Of course, there are still several obstacles. For example, Gretchen and T-Bag are heavily armed and waiting for the Breakouts at Gate, and the General has a whole bunch of goons at his beck and call. Still, Michael and Co. decide to leave via Company elevator. The General thinks he's on firmer ground now -- you'll never make it! I can give you anything you want! Just give in, and all will be well! You can't kill me, or you lose your leverage! Ah, but the Breakouts have planned for that. See, Lisa, the icy other woman in the General's gang, is interrupted in her lunch by a soup dumped on her lap. A gun-toting Sarah is waiting in the bathroom for her. Remember that little piece of evidence Gretchen passed along when she didn't get the General's card? That was her telling Michael that Lisa was the General's daughter. Bingo -- leverage.

With Lisa in peril, the General agrees to walk the Breakouts out past the gantlet of goons. But they won't get far, he vows. Plus, he gives Linc and Michael a little parting gift -- you know your dad used to work for us, right? He was an executioner -- a Death Fairy. Now the men he trained will be after you.

Company thugs tail the Breakouts to the Ontario airport. The Breakouts split up, with Mahone and Sucre heading off on land while Linc and Michael take the bag containing Scylla and head for a plane. The goons ground everything, then make their move. They take Michael's bag -- but it was a clever switch! Sucre smuggled Scylla out in his pants! (Lucky, lucky Scylla...) The Breakouts present Scylla to Self, who thanks them effusively, hands them their transfer papers, tells them to await the parade  (ok, FBI convoy) and walks off into the sunset. Nothing suspicious about that at all...

Of course, there was plenty more going on while the Breakouts were thus engaged. Feng was still holding self and Trishann captive. Trishann has an amusing meltdown -- "You're the worst partner I ever worked with! Leaving me with the one-handed freak and the crazy bitch while you hang out with GQ!" -- which distracts the thugs long enough for Self to unlock his cuffs with a hidden key, then take out the thugs. He unlocks Trishann, who shoots Feng as he was aiming at Self. Self doesn't seem happy about that. Hmm.

Back at Gate, Gretchen and T-Bag are preparing a warm welcome for the Breakouts. Smarmy boss Mr. White comes in to schmooze Gretchen and catches sight of the guns. Doh! Gretchen proceeds to take the whole office hostage. Trishann comes back to the office and frees the captives, but Mr. White proves to be a craven idiot when he decides he'll make a break for it -- and he fails utterly at sneaking. Gretchen proves to be the rare bad guy who can, in fact, hit the broad side of a barn with automatic weaponry, and White dies. Gretchen and T-Bag make a run for the garage. Gretchen comes thisclose to killing T-Bag, but Trishann shows up with her Fedmobile and interrupts. Gretchen runs, and Trishann nabs T-Bag. Poor guy -- he just wanted to stay a salesman!

Trishann takes T-Bag to the rendezvous point, where Self arrives bearing Scylla. He's bummed that Gretchen got away, and he quizzes Trishann on other potential buyers now that Feng is dead. Trishann says T-Bag will spill as soon as they get him into an interrogation room. So Self shoots her. Self! You double-crossing rat! He was in it for the money! Back at Breakouts HQ, the Breakouts FINALLY start to get suspicious after they've waited for their parade for an hour. Michael opens the envelope full of 'transfer papers" to find a sheaf of blank pages. Doh!

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

• I can't tell whether Trishann's meltdown, where she hysterically (in both senses of the word) called Self the worst partner ever, was sincere or was a ploy to distract. I hope it was the former.
• The Breakouts beset the General's goons as soon as they step off the elevator. They were unwilling to put down their guns -- until Mahone aimed his pistol at Scylla. Nicely done, Mahone.
• The Breakouts all made themselves comfortable in the General's office as they awaited word from Sarah. I love that Sucre raided the General's liquor cabinet. Hee!
• The General tried to bluff his way out of the leverage situation -- Sarah Tancredi wouldn't hurt a fly! Maybe that was true once, Michael says -- before you tortured her. Makes you reconsider that whole policy, doesn't it?
• Linc was quite happy to rub the General's nose in their victory -- " I guess right now you wish you'd framed somebody else, huh, General?"
• Michael stuffed the bag the Company goons took from him with a book -- "All's Well that Ends Well." Ah, but Michael -- you forgot that this NEVER seems to end...
• After Trishann caught him, T-Bag lamented that he could have been a salesman-contender, if not for his past. He spouted Gate-speak -- he's caught in the negativity of a past identity, yadda yadda yadda -- then pauses. "Who'da thought they actually be right bout something?"

So, Self's a rat -- is anyone surprised? How will the Breakouts fare now? Who's going to get the honor of repeatedly kicking Self in the head? Can it be me? Please? Did you almost feel sorry for the General when he finally admitted he had no idea what to do now? Talk!

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