From cows to Moscow on 'The Amazing Race'
Sunday (Nov. 23) night's installment of The Amazing Race showcased why, if you're going to have three non-elimination legs, they really shouldn't all be squished into the final third of the season.
[I probably just spoiled the episode for you already. But if I didn't, you should know that I'm about to.]
If The Amazing Race had any true sense of justice or karma, this would have been the end for DAndrew. They've spent a full season carping about being underdogs, carping about their bad luck, carping about being underestimated. I wish that Phil, ever the truth-teller, would pull them aside and tell them that, in reality, they're just really bad at this game and that their continued perseverance isn't an admirable trait so much as the byproduct of a flukishness in the structure of this season's game, a flukishness producers should work to avoid in the future.
The editors played around as best they could, but it's my hunch -- based mostly on variable sunlight and the amount of time the Roadblock must have taken -- that DAndrew finished a distant fourth for the leg.
Normally when Phil Keoghan does his "I'm sorry to tell you... [long pause]... you're still in the race" in these non-elimination legs, he's just trying to stir up tension, but on Sunday's episode, he may genuinely have been sorry. I know I was.
DAndrew kept complaining about their bad luck, but they began the leg more than three hours behind the leaders and over an hour behind the third place team and they got a tremendous break right from the start. The leg kicked off with an equalizer, as the teams all had to share the same flight to Moscow. That's pretty generous of the producers, right? What more could they want?
But DAndrew squandered that good-faith gesture in every way possible.
They squandered it in terms of failures at the required task.
The Detour offered the choice between Boots (learning a military march and doing one properly executed cycle of a parade ground) and Borscht (serving beet borscht to 75 soldiers).
First DAndrew decided to do Boots because, as Andrew put it, "I have six years of marching band experience under my belt." But all of that experience in marching band didn't prepare him to properly wrap his feet before putting on his boots. After more than 15 minutes of failing, with Dan hectoring him the whole way, Andrew gave up and they decided to do Borscht. The problem? They got to the kitchen and donned their aprons before realizing that the clue had said they had to wear a military uniform for either task. So they returned to Boots, but Dan couldn't get the marching rhythm.
"It was very musically and art base and I am not musically and art based," Dan observed. That doesn't explain why he was goose-stepping out-of-rhythm like a chorus reject from Springtime for Hitler. Kudos to Andrew for not getting frustrated, even as the Russians were mocking his partner and the officer kept saying "Nyet, nyet, nyet." Finally they gave up and did the Borscht. That's about as inept as it gets.
[Side note: How was everybody's first instinct on the Detour so very wrong? The Borscht task didn't require strength, agility or speed. It just required decanting. And, heck, it wasn't even like they were serving proper borscht. No potato? No sour cream? This, and not anything done by Ronald Reagan, is why the Russians lost the Cold War. DAndrew appeared to do the Borscht task very quickly and if they could do it, anybody could. Then again, the other three teams made short work of the parade as well. It also looks like we're going to see more Dancing Dan next week. Joy.]
Then they tossed out any hope of karma when they stiffed their cabbie, a surly man who had traveled with them throughout the day.
Dan had correctly gauged the high price of doing business in Moscow, but the team's decision to buy shoes at the airport in Almaty -- their shoes were left at a task the previous day and they were wearing hotel slippers ("We jacked them from the maid," Andrew explained) -- left them short on cash, hondling with a man who didn't speak their language.
I'm of the opinion that there probably ought to be a race penalty for screwing over a perfectly innocent low-paid employee who gave up a day's worth of fares to transport these two dead-beats, and not a casual penalty. If you cheat, you pay a penalty, but the only people you're cheating are your fellow competitors. DAndrew cheated a civilian whose only crime was accommodating an American reality show. I really hope the producers stopped the cabbie at the next corner and properly compensated him. One way or the other, rather than penalizing DAndrew, the game gave them the non-elimination reward.
Oh well.
Otherwise, this episode should have been about good feelings for Toni and Dallas, who finally took over first place after spending most of the race in second or third or fourth. They didn't do anything spectacularly well, but they marched with efficiency and then Dallas was able to plow through the Roadblock, which was one of the rare tasks to rely on nothing but strength and conditioning. More than anything, they got lucky with a cab driver who knew how to take them around the city.
Dallas' fantasy paramour Starr and her brother Nick weren't so lucky. At the individual tasks, they didn't do anything wrong, but they got into three separate cabs with drivers who didn't know where they were going. That's beyond bad luck. It's more like the cosmos needed Nick and Starr to face a little adversity. He passed with flying colors, keeping his head and then delivering on the Roadblock despite skepticism from both Ken ("Nick, he'll never be able to do that.") and the clue-keeper ("He's not fit"). Starr freaked out a bit. She cried and whined, but I'll give her credit for not becoming quite as annoying as many a contestant has been in her position.
Other thoughts on this week's episode:
What'd you think about the episode? And I know it's happened before, but do you agree with me that hosing an innocent cabbie should be cause for some sort of penalty?
I COMPLETELY agree that Dandrew should have a penalty for stiffing that cabbie. It doesn't even have to do with the fact that I dislike them. If Nick and Starr (my fav team) had stiffed the cabbie, my thoughts would be the same.
I agree with your opinion on Phil too....I think he really was sorry that Dan and Andrew are still in the race. I know I am.
I was also surprised more people didn't choose the Borscht. My only thought was that maybe they weren't sure what the Borscht was...so they didn't realize how easy it would be?
Dan was the biggest spaz during the marching challenge. It really looked as if he was mocking a mentally disabled person, the way he was marching. I don't understand how he could be SO uncoordinated.
I was happy that Dallas and Toni won this leg. Dallas busted his butt carrying all that flour into the shop. He deserved to win after that.
Felt bad for Nick and Starr for getting stuck with such awful cab drivers. Nick got a little snarky with Starr too...when she started crying, he pointed out that it wasn't helping anything (true, but pointing it out doesn't help a girl feel better when she is crying). If that makes sense.
Ken and Tina really seem to be getting along well. Good for them!
Oops...forgot to mention:
Sorry to see you go! Will someone else be taking over the rest of TAR recaps then?
(btw, the link to your AIM username doesn't work on the new blog page)
An awful lot of typos here. Maybe you shouldn't hurry so much to post the recap. I can figure out most of them, but I don't know what "hundling" is, though from the context it must be something like haggling.
This Race is a bit unusual for me, since I don't really mind any the teams left. I was especially glad Toni and Dallas finally won a leg. Those single-leg bonus prizes can be a great consolation if you don't win the big one.
Tego Livi- Yeah, there were a few typos here. I corrected a handful, which probably means there are a couple I missed.
One of those typos (that I caught, not missed) was that "hondling" was misspelled as "hundling." And "hondling" does, indeed, mean to barter or haggle...
-Daniel
This leg was too easy IMO. Other than cabs, the challenges were all pretty easy. Wait, it's still way too hard for Dandrew.
I'm so ashamed that Dan is actually from my home city...
was actually somewhat cheering for them at the beginning.
On the bright side, Dandrew is mostly likely the team to lose their p***ports next week. If karma will ever come to those two, getting stranded in Russia while the other teams meet in the destination city is a good one. It would really be a shame if they waste a spot in the final 3.
Dandrew must've made a pact with the devil to get this far. Talk about incompetent. Things I learned about cabs in moscow - pricey, no GPS system and no dispatcher to give directions. Moscow is an international destination so I'm a little surprised that more cab drivers didn't speak English.
Great re-cap Daniel. Thanks for all your bloggin'.
I also agree with you that there should be a penalty for short-changing the cabbie. And I hope the producers gave him the rest of the fare.
I'm really surprised that DAndrew are still there. He was truly appalling in the march challenge. Could he really be that un-coordinated?
I think we saw a glimpse of how nasty Starr could be. She and Nick have been very lucky that things have worked out for them on most legs of the Race. Nick is way more stable and calm than she it. I don't think they will win. Something will happen and Starr will totally screw it up for the team.
I think it will be down to Toni and Dallas, and Ken and Tina for the final two. With Toni and Dallas winning the whole thing.
Peace.
I also think that they should not bunch all the non-eliminations at the end, but I think it is to save money. The less teams around the less plane tickets need to be bought.
I'm guessing its the losing p***ports thing that forces 1 team not to make it to the finish line. I remember reading an article before the season started saying that 1 of the teams could not make it to the finish line. I thought it would be one of those stupid mistakes that cause 1 of the final 3 teams to not make it on a flight and be many many hours behind, but it looks like it may be before the final leg of the race.
I agree that cheating the cab driver was beyond low, Dan knew that Moscow was expensive but he still bought himself shoes. Then again why on earth did they leave their shoes behind in the first place? Have they ever watched the show before? You don't leave stuff behind then go to a pit stop.
Incompetent doesn't do DAndrew justice. Seriously, my 3 year old daughter could march better.
Ya know, this is kind of a snoozer of a season so far. It seems that you can predict which teams are gonna finish where. I also think its going to be Ken & Tina vs. Toni & Dallas.
DAndrew: Talk about hanging by a thread. sheesh. Has any team ever flip-flopped between tasks at a Detour before? I loved that the soldiers could not quite contain themselves and openly laughed at Dandrew's marching. Priceless.
But not as priceless as the heckling Nick received by that woman at the bakery. "He's not fit." That about sums it up! Nick also has a very cool head on his shoulders. I am thinking its him or Starr that loses the p***ports if its not DAndrew. Although, wouldn't be just beyond weird if that Nick/Starr loses the p***ports then that would allow DAndrew to skate through...yet again?!?! Even they have a hard time believing that they even made it as far as they did.
Toni/Dallas: I am not sure why Toni was even carping about Dallas making quick work of hoisting those bags of flour. By the looks of things, Dallas can probably bench press his own weight and then some. Although it did look like (maybe due to editing) that Kenny almost caught up with Dallas near the end. I guess thats what spending years playing Pro ball will do for you.
Hopefully the next couple eps will be a little more exciting then the last couple have been.*sigh*