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Finalewatch: 'America's Next Top Model'
It's here! It's here! The End of Whitney! And the beginning of, well, probably either Samantha or McKey as the reigning America's Next Top Model. Because not once in eleven cycles has the girl I backed won this thing. Apparently, Tyra sees "real model" in girls that, you know, never model again after this show ends.
TyraPost! It's in Dutch, but it's totally "easy, breezy, beautiful." Next to the TyraMail is the girls' sides for their commercial, and the first line is in Dutch, which confuses the models. The next morning, Mr. Jay tells the girls that they will be shooting a Cover Girl commercial as well as a print ad, and whatever the winner's best photo is will be the basis for their Cover Girl campaign. Whitney arrives, because she has nothing better to do, and Sam is like "this so craaaaaazay!" Whitney tries to pitch some sort of new breath-freshening lip gloss and will not stop advertising the product, which hopefully makes Cover Girl happy, because it annoys the crap out of the rest of us.
Up first is Sam, and she's as hammy as usual, and seems to be confused not just by the Dutch words, but by the English ones as well. McKey is up next, and she is NOT a Cover Girl model: she's just not commercial enough. NOOOO Analeigh! She gets a total brain fart and forgets her lines and freaks herself out. They're cutting this for extra drama (I hope.) She can't stop giggling when she has to kiss the male model, either. Crap. Sam is "unclever" in her still shoot, while Analeigh is lovely but depends too much on her body, and McKey is "kooky in the head." The next morning, at panel, Tyra is wearing a totally insane short jumpsuit with shoulder pads? I can't...huh. They have cut the three girl's commercials together into one, and it seems like Analeigh is in it the most, but it's hard to tell. Sam's commercial is choppy, and her smile looks forced (and boy howdy does she look like Ellen Barkin.) Analeigh's commercial is terrible, truly terrible, and her photo looks like a mediocre headshot. McKey's commercial is better than the other girls', but still not good. Her still photo is lovely. Please send Sam home. Please send Sam home. One of the judges is a designer named Addy van den Krommenacker, who will be hosting a fashion show featuring the remaining two girls: McKey and (pickAnaleighpickAnaleighpickAnaleigh) Samantha. I TOLD you this show sucks!
Sam and McKey meet with Ann Shoket to shoot their "Seventeen" cover shots, and honestly, if Sam wins this thing I am going to pick the ice out of my gin and tonic and throw it at my television. After their shoots, the girls go to Addy's fashion show to find a "Willy Wonka Dr. Seussian runway" in hot pink designed by Mr. Jay. Tyra wanders backstage in a big old zebra-print Norma Desmond gown and refers to herself as the models' "black mama" but I thought she said "black mamba", like the snake, the first three times I listened to the line and that actually made more sense to me. Whitney leads off, followed by McKey, then a couple of Dutch models, then bowlegged Samantha. She actually reminds me a little of Bijou Phillips in her runway days - remember that? That horrible truck-driver walk? That's what this is, except unintentional.
Oh my lord, speaking of shoulder pads, apparently Tyra is going through her Joan Crawford Phase at panel. Nigel, notably, is there, with Miss J and Paulina, and there are prizes, notably, like there always are. You know what is awesome? The fact that if McKey doesn't win, she will go back to cage-fighting, right? Like, never mind this whole modeling thing, I'm going to try to kill that guy over there with this chair. The girls' walks are reviewed, and everyone kind of skirts around the fact that neither girl can walk. Both girls' portfolios are reviewed from start to finish. The judges have reached a decision! And it's McKey. My ice and television screen are safe for another day. McKey fully sweeps Tyra off her feet - picks her right up into the air - and Tyra is freaked out. Heh.
Check out McKey's Pictures.
Um, at least it's not Saleisha. Discuss.
I didn't even think McKey would make top two. Wierd. I thought Analeigh would win, as she was the obvious "top" model. I mean good pics, which they all had, but at least she could walk.
Mandy | Nov 19, 2008 9:37:05 PM | #I cannot believe that Analeigh wasn't in the final two. Makes you wonder if they didn't want her up against McKey. the only good pics Samantha had were ones that she was directed on. This whole cycle seemed like a let down.
Sue | Nov 19, 2008 9:55:38 PM | #These women are so anorexic, they look unhealthy. They will have osteoporosis before thier time.
They are so skinny they have no breasts. a breast is 75% fat.
These women are straight up and down like a boy. They have no curves.
They are picked by gay male designers because they prefer women who look like boys.
Gay male designers do not know how to make women look good because they are not attracted to females.
I am not going to watch this show any more. These women are unnattractive sticks.
b | Nov 19, 2008 10:09:03 PM | #McKey (or Brittany) was groomed for the win since the beginning. Nothing she ever did was edited in even the slightest negative way - except when she was - the horror! - 5 minutes late from the go-see challange. Utterly unsuprising.
AG | Nov 20, 2008 2:30:55 AM | #I loved McKey. Glad she won! The Cover Girl photo convinced me.
And I will miss Whitney, who TOTALLY deserved it last season. She's beautiful!
The two never could understand were Saleisha and Naima.
Boston fan | Nov 20, 2008 2:51:44 AM | #I think Analeigh was robbed. Sarah being in the final two was a let down. I agree with the person who said Sarah was picked so that McKey could win hands down. There was nothing attractive about Sarah and her commentaries sucked!!!! When the final 3 were standing there, I thought it is no way this girl can make final two. She never took Tyra's advice on dressing like a model and she looked like an average girl at the mall.
And what was with the final show. That runway was dumb and it looked so sterile.
niaqueen | Nov 20, 2008 6:28:45 AM | #Oh yeah...Whitney! What a waste of an ANTM. I never like her for her bad attitude, but when they show all of the wonderful jobs other girls who came in 2nd or 3rd have, I have to wonder why Whitney?? Like Saleisha or not, she is getting booked for jobs unlike the unlikeable Whitney.
niaqueen | Nov 20, 2008 6:31:26 AM | #ANALEIGH WAS ROBBED. She had the best walk, she was the most commercial, she had a great portfolio, and she had oodles of potential.
But, congrats, McKey! I knew you would win!
I loved Analeigh's CoverGirl shot. McKey's was also very good. Sam's was decent...
Can't wait for cycle 12.
Jhg812 | Nov 20, 2008 6:44:45 AM | #Correction!...I meant Samantha. I called her Sarah, that how non essential she was to me in this show.
niaqueen | Nov 20, 2008 6:47:23 AM | #Yup, this season was totally fixed. Analeigh was my favorite too, but I'm used to the judges picking the wrong person (Joanie was robbed!!!!!!!). Whatever. McKey for me was Caridee all over again, only slightly less crazy and brunette.
Rigby | Nov 20, 2008 7:21:33 AM | #This show can be so great sometimes, & other times it can stress you out just to watch it! I felt like the top 2 should have been Analeigh & Elina. Marjorie drove me nuts! I know Elina didn't change like they wanted her too, but she had a good model look to her! McKey & Sam as the final two?? Well, as long as McKey doesn't smile showing her teeth, she will do fine. Analeigh was my favorite, & I about stopped watching it when she got booted off! At least Analeigh can read a script, unlike McKey! I'm sure Analeigh can memorize & produce! I hope she gets bigger & better modeling jobs than McKey!
Kimber | Nov 20, 2008 7:43:05 AM | #Annaleigh got screwed, and not in a good way! Instead of the nice, pretty girl, they went with Mannish Elf Head. Not sure about anybody else, but if I ran into McKey on the street, Id be afraid!! And I wouldnt know if it was a He or a She!
SISSERS | Nov 20, 2008 8:48:42 AM | #Lesson to b on the history of modeling: Models are skinny so their bodies don't destroy the lines of the clothes. They are human coat hangers. Back when they first started runway shows their faces didn't matter at all, only that the clothes would hang on them.
They are also young. It's not uncommon for women to be built that way naturally. It's only when the average modeling career is over that nature starts taking over and the battle with their shape begins.
McKey and Marjorie were my two picks from the very beginning and once Marjorie couldn't get over her confidence issues, it was all about McKey. The ones I like best always make the Final Four. Maybe Tyra needs more scouts. Ha.
Julie | Nov 20, 2008 9:33:27 AM | #I knew Analeigh wasn't gonna win, but I thought she'd make it to the top 2 for sure! She definitely has the most Top Model potential and I think she would've made a great Cover Girl.
Once Analeigh got kicked off, I didn't even care anymore. I knew McKey would win because Samantha just isn't CG material. She needs to go back to high school where she belongs.
Rigby, I agree that Joanie was ROBBED!
A | Nov 20, 2008 11:46:34 AM | #I loved Analiegh, I thought she was adorable and sweet...and she deserved third place. Say what you will, but where it really counts [the pictures] McKey really was the best model [besides Lauren Brie, that is]. Hers was a legitimate win, I can see her actually getting booked for photo work. Samantha too, actually. Analiegh does much better in acting/runway, her photos have always been somewhat less than stellar for me.
Siansonea | Nov 20, 2008 12:40:25 PM | #I am so happy I wasn't the only one who turned off the show after Analeigh got eliminated.
Tyra, you are one stupid bitch to let Paulina dominate with her bias.
Anyone catch McKey's fake accents? She's pretty, sure, but has the personality of a gnat.
I hope Analeigh puts Tyra to shame. Probably won't watch this series again as this is a huge let-down.
Abdi Mohammad | Nov 20, 2008 1:35:01 PM | #Siansonea, you're very brave coming out with your support for Sam.
Kinda like the morons who back Palin.
Samantha's peak of her career will be getting a state K-Mart contract
Abdi Mohammad | Nov 20, 2008 1:36:17 PM | #I was rooting for Analeigh, but thought all three were beautiful. Samantha was pretty, but did not have a model's body to me. McKey has the whole package, and will do well. I believe that she will go far in the fashion industry. Good luck to all.
sue | Nov 20, 2008 6:05:27 PM | #You know, I was so glad when Samantha didn't win that I stopped being angry about Analeigh losing! There were so many good models this cycle, when you really think about it.. Analeigh, Marjorie, Elina, McKey, Isis (I thought), Lauren Brie.. that's a tough decision! No matter who won, I wouldn't be happy because there was someone else just as good! However, I thought McKey was pretty good, even though she can't act. Her facial expressions during the catwalk were terrific. Anyway, I'll really miss this nice hour that let me forget about my own crappy life!! One thing we can probably all agree on about this cycle is that it was entertaining! As was your writing, Jordan, and I'll miss your blog!
Eliza | Nov 20, 2008 7:25:19 PM | #I actually liked Sam because she was refreshing and just so normal. She acts like a normal 18 year old. McKey is 19 but acted like she was 29. I knew McKey was going to win.
Yeah usually the person I want to win never wins. I think the only ones that have won that I wanted were Nicole and Whitney. Joanie was so robbed as was Kahlen and Melrose.
T | Nov 20, 2008 7:55:21 PM | #Kahlen was robbed! I still think of her when I see Meg Ryan. I actually wanted Sam to take it since she was such an underdog. I was waiting for that "before b/w calvin klein shot" to pop up and so was she! They picked McBrittany to make up for Whitney. The girl is the next Jaslene and will book jobs. Analeigh and Marjorie would have made a more exciting top two.
arpy | Nov 20, 2008 9:21:31 PM | #I'm sorry, this is going to sound mean, but Tyra's outfit made me laugh. Does anyone remember Carol Burnett playing Scarlett O'Hara -- making the dress out of the drapes -- but keeping the curtain rod in!
Morisot | Nov 20, 2008 9:25:39 PM | #I loved Annaleigh, but i thought that the judges would pick Mckey. Annaleigh should have definitely been in the top two. She would have blown both McKey and Sam out of the water with her walk. However, I forsee a great future for her in modeling. Just looking on Google, I'm already seeing gorgeous pictues of her up done post show. I can't wait for her to continue to do great things. Sometime those who don't win, have so many more opportunities!
j43twinkletoes | Nov 25, 2008 2:15:39 PM | #You guys should really be glad that Mckey won. I think that I made a good choice, and the other judges did too. You should all see her photos, and didn't you think that we did a good job getting the boxing poses out of her?
I stopped looking at this program after the 2nd season. It is rigged and the best do not win. I don't know what they use to pick the winners but it is awful. They pick the ugliest,manly women. I don't like Tyra Banks anyway, she is phony and thinks she is white and acts white.
MARTHA | Feb 1, 2009 6:08:28 PM | #
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