'Brothers & Sisters': "Dinner AND a show!"

Step right up to the Amazing Walker Cavalcade of Poor Decision-making on Brothers & Sisters! See! The most ill conceived set-up in the history of the universe! Witness! A colossally bad impulse buy! Marvel! At the idea that these people still get together for dinner, considering how often said dinners end in tears!

Where I come from, cats sometimes get spoiled.

Scotty is having a great week -- not only is he on the cover of a magazine touting the top up-and-coming chefs in LA, but he just got promoted to head chef at his chi-chi restaurant. This calls for a festive Walker-family dinner!

Alas, Kevin gets a peek at his new paycheck, and he's not a happy bunny. Kevin talks to Nora, who is getting ready to buy a house for her charity at auction. Kevin insists that he attend as well -- he is her financial advisor, as well as the one with the cool head, and he knows how Nora gets about making rash decisions.

Kevin jumps all over Nora at the auction, distracting her so she doesn't get the first house she has her eye on. When the next house comes up, Kevin ponders how much Scotty would love the place -- and he snakes it from Nora. Nora is furious. At dinner, the family salutes Scotty for being awesome and on the rise, and Kevin breaks in with his news--- he bought a mansion for his adorable hubby, to "provide [him] with the life [he] deserves." Scotty doesn't take it well, and Nora blows up at Kevin -- What IS IT with Walker men that they need to be in control? Why bulldoze your husband like that? Kevin protests -- you loved it when dad surprised you with a house! No, idiot -- I pretended to like it, all the while seething that no one ever bothered to ask my opinion. The men in this family need to realize they can't barge into everything and can't fix everything!

Kevin puts on his martyr hat -- Mom is being soooooooo irrational! And if Scotty agrees with her? Well, he's irrational, too -- not to mention and ungrateful! Scotty gently explains that <del>Kevin is an idiot</del> it seems like Kevin wants to be the only successful person in this relationship -- he needs to be the provider. Kevin finally admits that his new salary is a quarter as much as what he was making, and that he fears that if he can't take care of Scotty, Scotty won't love him anymore. Scotty is much nicer than I am -- he tells Kevin that he wouldn't be who he was today without Kevin, and he doesn't love him for his brain or his bucks, but for his amazing heart. It finally sinks in. Kevin sells the house back to Nora for her charity, and he and Scotty open a joint checking account.

Sarah and Kitty
Kitty is spending way too much time gazing at infomercials late into the night, and not half enough time sleeping, showering or dealing with the outside world. Could she be depressed? Well, yeah! The Walker fam decides that she just needs a distraction, and Sarah volunteers her new business proposal, thinking Kitty will proofread it. Kitty goes nuts -- it's awash in red ink, and Kitty wants to rewrite the mission statement, change the slogan, rename the company... basically, nothing is good enough.

After dinner, Sarah finally snaps -- this was just to distract you from <del>your miserable childless existence</del> the late unpleasantness with Trish. Kitty tells her that was stupid -- she was thinking about how she screwed up with Trish even as she was ripping the proposal to shreds. Instead of hair-brained schemes, maybe the family should just <i>talk</i> to her. Hugs are better than distractions. Sarah seems to buy it. We'll see if it sticks.

Justin and Saul
Justin decides Saul is leading a sad, lonely existence, and needs to find a boyfriend. So when Paul (Dave Foley -- yay!), a new member of his Narcotics Anonymous group, mentions that he's gay and single, Justin decides to fix him up with Saul -- at the upcoming family dinner. Rebecca thinks this is an awful idea, but Justin will not be swayed.

Paul is, of course, a nightmare. He shows up to dinner two hours early, overshares immensely, can't keep his mouth shut, and is basically a menace. Saul is NOT happy with Justin. But for some reason, he doesn't ask for Justin's head on a pike -- he tells Justin that he's touched that he is so concerned, but that maybe the guy should concentrate on figuring out his own life instead of meddling in others'. Plus, he dishes, I've already got a boyfriend -- but he wants to keep it a secret from the rest of the family for now. Yeah, that'll happen.

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

• Dear Kevin: You have taken the mantel of Most Annoying Walker. Yes, Tommy made a strong showing when he inflicted Dave on Scotty, but you still win the trophy. Now quit it!
• Scotty is touched that Sarah wants to throw him a congratulatory dinner. "I can't imagine my parents throwing me a 'Yay Scotty' dinner -- although they did once throw me a 'we're so disappointed' brunch." As long as there was  disapproval bacon, that sounds just fine.
• Saul says he' going to spend the day polishing silver (which I can't help but think is some sort of euphemism. Sorry.) Justin scoffs that Saul lives a sad, lonely life. "Never underestimate the power of shiny silver!" Nora counsels.
• Robert makes the mistake of walking into Kevin's office and asking a question about Kitty, not realizing that Kevin is on speakerphone with Sarah. Suddenly, the whole family is involved. "Kevin. Speakerphone etiquette. Learn it," Robert says with a sigh.
• At the end of the Kitty conversation, Nora (who called in after Sarah hung upon her because she and Kevin were discussing Kitty), says, "I'm glad you called Robert." "Actually, I didn't... I... You're welcome." Poor Robert!
• When the Walkers are discussing what they should do about Kitty, they bring up "the dance of humiliations" and "the spandex debacle." Robert isn't alone in wanting to know what that's about!
• Justin asks Paul if he's free for dinner. "Justin, I'm so flattered, but I'm afraid I'm WAY past my twink phase," Paul replies. Hee!
• Justin justifies his decision: "I'm telling you perfect -- his name's Paul, he's not too tall, he's going to love Saul!" "So basically, he's a Dr. Seuss character," Rebecca replies.
• Holly tells Justin that setting up Paul with Saul is GREAT idea -- but admits to Rebecca that she thinks it incredibly stupid. Why did she encourage Justin? She tells Rebecca that she just wants her daughter's boyfriend to like her. "Or are you just excited at the possibility of another Walker dinner disaster?" Rebecca asks. "I have to admit it's a little of both," Holly replies. Wow -- she was serious about no more lies between her and Rebecca!
• Justin: Holly thinks it's a good idea. Take that as a sign -- it's NOT going to go well for your family.
• Paul was ridiculously obnoxious -- my favorite Paul bit was when he licked his fingers, then shook Nora's hand -- but he did occasionally speak the truth: "If I bought a house without talking to my boyfriend he would have tarred and feathered and left me for dead." Damn straight! It's a big purchase, and it's the sort of thing that you MIGHT want to weigh in on, you know?
• I'm somewhat disappointed that Saul didn't rake Justin over the coals for the Paul debacle. I'm even more disappointed that Saul asked Justin if he could keep a secret. Does he watch this show? Justin's a Walker! That means the answer is no!

E-mail

• Digg
• Facebook
• Fark
• Yahoo Buzz
• Stumbleupon