'Ugly Betty' and the stinky cheese man

Ahh, Gio's back with a vengeance on Ugly Betty as the grumpy, smart-assed and annoying guy that I first grew to know and love. Yup, that means that abrasive chemistry with Betty is back.

Spoilers living at 25 Teddy Bear Lane.

Betty is thrilled to see Gio back behind the sandwich delivery cart, but the feeling isn't mutual. In fact, he tells her he hates her. Ouch, right? Well, our bubbly go-getter won't let a little thing like his anger over being dumped get in the way of their friendship. She schemes to corner Gio by having him deliver dinner to her apartment (the existence of which he's unaware) whereupon she will gift him with a few pounds of rare, Italian cheese from a cow named Luisa. I admit. That would seriously sway me.

He's incredibly stubborn, even in the face of aromatic cheese, but the tried and true adversity brings them together. You see, DJ's grandparents have discovered that Daniel can no longer claim custody since he's not the father (Alexis is, back when she was Alex). Fearful that DJ will be whisked away, without explaining Daniel entrusts DJ to Betty who brings him home to her apartment.

When the Coach's wife buzzes up to Betty, thinking she's the one having an affair with Tony since Hilda had a tryst with him there, Betty thinks it's the grandmere and grandpere bent on taking DJ to France. So she and Gio load the tot into Gio's meat and cheese van (which I'd choose any day over Betty Suarez Land) and go to Coney Island, where Daniel eventually comes to his senses and tells DJ he'll go back to France with the grand'rents and have a cool, loving American uncle back in America (i.e. Daniel).

Meanwhile, Hilda is hopeful that she'll have a happy romantic ending with Coach (what a charming endearment, the same his students use) since he declares he'll tell his wife that the money's on the dresser, he's done with her. Well, the latter anyway. And lo and behold, he does. The only problem is that wifey goes to Hilda at the Suarez home (what a nice little Nancy Drew the wife is proving to be) and pleads with her to tell Betty, whom she mistakes for Coach's lover b/c of the apartment, to back off so she can work on her marriage.

And poor Hilda, who knows all about love without second chances thanks to losing her fiancee, sympathizes. So much so that she lets her beloved Coach go. Strangely enough, Tony doesn't fight for her, just silently leaves so he can bring his manly physique to guest star on USA's The Starter Wife. Thank you, people. Being the other woman is not blameless.

For some reason, Papi is hovering Stage Left and upon Coach's exit, wordlessly hugs Hilda. Writers, thanks for bringing the heart back to the show. The only way it could be more perfect is to have him offer to cook Hilda her favorite meal. Food is love in the Suarez household.

Finally, we see that Alexis won't be molding away in jail after all to explain away Rebecca Romijn-O'Connell's absence while she's having her huge babies. Instead, Alexis goes through a roller coaster of legal tribulations -- including possibly being tried for attempted murder and being denied bail -- until finally Claire makes a deal with Wilhelmina, who is of course behind the harsh sentence, thanks to her dominatrix relationship with the naughty, naugthy DA.

Instead of Alexis giving all her shares of Meade Publications to the Wil-enemy, they'll be split between Daniel and Wil. That means they'll be 50-50 partners and co-editors-in-chief of Mode. It all works out: Wil is that much closer to ruling Meade, and Alexis is free to go to France where she considers reconnecting with DJ.

A few musings and highlights:

- The writers are obviously revitalized because there's just a better sense of purpose and fun this season. Betty is downright cheeky and playful in the way she treats Daniel (asking to take the town car to work, reminding him of when she checked out the mole on his back).
- The writers have also rediscovered the heart of the show, so I demand a Papi- or Justin-centric episode tout de suite!
- Scamorza is actually a cheese the Mario Batali says is grilled in traditional Neapolitan cooking. Now this mythical cow in the show makes me recall a recent conversation of mine about Wagyu cattle producing Kobe beef. The massages and sake diets have not been proven to actually create the particular qualities of Kobe beef (it's owed to genetic disposition), but could it affect milk and thus cheese? Can we get Kobe milk or Kobe cheese?
- I want to find a life-changing cheese, please. "Heaven from a cow" indeed.
- Although not terribly surprising, how great was it to see Willie in her robed dominatrix gear? Love the ponytail.
- Betty: "What's wrong with the ballet? Kids love the ballet. Justin loves the ballet."
- Gio seems to be at peace with Betty's friendship, but I want to see more of him.

What did you think of the episode and how it wrapped things up with DJ, Alexis and Gio? Excited about LiLo next week? I am!

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