'The Biggest Loser: Families': "Why would you say such hateful things about me?"

The Blue Meanies continue to wreak havoc on The Biggest Loser: Families this week, staging an unwanted intervention, probably lying to their trainer, and generally being snots. Of course, one member of Team Black isn't exactly wining friends and influencing people, either.

This spoiler has no idea what happened last week. Blink blink grin.

Bob is devastated when he discovers that Amy is gone, at least in part because it means he's stuck with Vicky the Vile for another week. Vicky rubs Bob's nose in it -- "You thought I was gone?" More like "hoped and prayed," Vicky. When Mr. Sunshine admits that he finds someone detestable, you know it's bad.

Bob asks Brady and Vicky if there was any funny business with last week's weigh-in. You know I wouldn't tell anyone, he says, which would carry more weight if there weren't cameras everywhere. Interesting that he didn't ask Brady alone -- but then, Bob knows that Brady can't talk without his wife there to pull the strings. Vicky and Brady swear that everything was legit, but Vicky's got this feces-munching grin on her face in her interview. If I were charitable, I'd assume that said grin is just some sort of nervous tick. But who am I kidding -- I see it as evidence that Vicky LIES like a RUG.

Vicky claims last week's number happened because Brady isn't eating every four hours like Bob demands. Brady looks slightly surprised by this, but he agrees that this must be the problem. Given that slender thread of plausible deniability to hold onto, Bob orders Brady to eat when and what he's told, then washes his hands of the whole thing. Harumph.

Food Fight
The teams have to figure out which of a given pair of food choices is less bad for them. Three of them seemed pretty obvious: A hot dog beats nuclear nachos, penne with shrimp is better than spaghetti with Italian sausage, and a bacon-egg-cheese breakfast sandwich on an English muffin beats a multigrain bagel.

The other two were a bit tricky: Yes, chicken and shrimp fajitas are reasonably healthy, but when you add "the works" -- principally sour cream, guacamole and cheese -- they end up less healthy than chicken nuggets. But when you compare a burrito with "the works" against 18 light beers, the beers come out worse. Personally, I'd think the beer would be better, because you'd get plenty of exercise running to the bathroom, and besides, you'd either pass out or get sick of beer before you'd consumed them all. Alas, those factors weren't taken into consideration.

The Blue Meanies win. They get a 40-pound weight advantage at the challenge.

The Challenge
The teams get up in big old slings and have to hold onto ropes, basically combating their combined body weight. Since the Blue Meanies won the food fight, they get to add 40 pounds to the Team Black. Even that doesn't spice up the game enough -- after 30 minutes, no one seems worse for wear, so one member of each team has to let go. After that, Team Black falls apart. Michelle is the last Blue member left holding the rope, and she makes a valiant effort, but she eventually has to let go. The Blue Meanies win the right to choose one member of Team Black and make their weight not count in this week's total.

The Drama
Heba decides to confront Phil about how he's mean and evil and hates her and how dare he. She and the rest of the Blue Meanies stage this intervention while Team Black is sitting down to a quiet meal. Coleen eventually gets fed up with the drama and stalks off.

It transpires that Phil is, indeed, that stupid -- he really did approach Brady and Vicky last week, and really did try to make an alliance to that would sacrifice Heba to keep Amy. He probably wasn't half as inflammatory about it as Vicky and Brady said, but it was still a bone-headed move. But is the Blue Meanies strategy of calling Phil out in front of his team equally bone-headed? The idea is to get them questioning Phil's fitness to stay in the game. Really, I think it just pissed off the ladies of Team Black. We'll see what happens come weigh-in.

The Weigh In and Elimination

The Blue Meanies choose Michelle as the one to take off the rolls this week. Michelle is nonplused. Why her?

Team Black
Michelle goes from 202 pounds to 200 pounds, a 2-pound loss. It doesn't count in the total.
Renee goes from 225 pounds to 222 pounds, a 3-pound loss.
Coleen goes from 179 pounds to 177 pounds, a 2-pound loss.
Phil goes from 272 pounds to 269 pounds, a 3-pound loss.
Removing Michelle from the equation, Team Black lost a total of 8 pounds, or 1.18 percent of their combined weight.

Team Blue
Brady goes from 283 pounds to 270 pounds, for a 13-pound loss.
Vicky goes from 203 pounds to 201 pounds, a 2-pound loss.
Heba goes from 253 pounds to 247 pounds, a 6-pound loss.
Amy goes from 193 pounds to 187 pounds, a 6-pound loss.
The Blue Meanies lose a total of 27 pounds, or 2.9 percent of their weight from last week.

Renee was the biggest loser on Team Black, so she's safe. Realistically, that means Michelle's safe, too, as Renee won't vote for her. Phil admits that he's been off his game because of Amy's ouster. In the end, the Women in Black vote to send Phil back home to Amy -- just in time for their anniversary. He surprises her with a new ring and a vow-renewal ceremony. At the look-at-me-know interview, he's lost 106 pounds. Pounds again, huh? Apparently, they're willing to give the men's weights, but with women, they stick with dress sizes. Weird.

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

• While Vicky is still my main object of loathing, Heba is a close second. At the Phil-bashing session, she went on and on about how she was the bigger person, because she's forgiven rotten Phil for his scheming, and now he has to live with being a slimy toad. She goes on about this at some length. I don't think Heba knows was "forgiveness" means.
• She also doesn't know what "blaspheme" means -- unless, of course, she considers herself some sort of holy entity. Granted, I wouldn't put that past her...
• Heba asks how Phil (or anyone" could say such evil things about her. Heba? It's easy. Trust me. It takes no effort at all!
• Bob contemplates the Vicky/Brady pair, and concludes that Brady is probably a good guy, but Vicky... "Brady's intentions are good. That wife... she's Shakespearean." To which I must protest -- Shakespeare was last season. This season seems more Snidely Whiplash to me.
• I do agree with bob that Vicky may be one of the biggest game-players who has ever walked into the house. I so, so hope she goes soon.
• Brady talks about wanting Phil gone -- "There's only room for one rooster in this henhouse," he says. Urg.
• When Team Black loses the challenge, the Blue Meanies cheer loud and hard. "Ah, I love them," Renee says. "I hate them, actually," Coleen replies. Hee.
• Alison announces that Amy is currently the biggest loser on campus. How does she feel? "That's cool but.... everyone forget that now, please," she replied. Heh.
• Now that Phil's gone, there's no one I don't like on Team Black. On Team Blue, the only person I have any respect for is Amy. Too bad she's got a whole bunch of people gunning for her now... Thanks a lot, Alison!
• Brady's 13-pound weight loss gave him a higher percentage than the entire Black Team. But no, he didn't do anything funny in last week's weigh-in. Of course not! Yeah, right.
• Bob is quick to jump in at Brady's big number -- "You worked for it," he insists. Or did you?

E-mail

• Digg
• Facebook
• Fark
• Yahoo Buzz
• Stumbleupon