The Biggest Loser: Families sees a couple of those families torn asunder when the teams break down into Black vs. Blue. What's worse, both Amys end up on the same team, so I can't distinguish them by color anymore. Come on, folks -- what about my needs?

This spoiler would have totally gone for the donuts.

It's time to abandon the family conceit and break remaining Losers into two teams.  Everyone is ushered into a room full of high-fat, high-cal, high-taste, high-yum baked goods -- brownies, donuts, bagels, peanut butter cups (which, upon reflection, aren't "baked." Flag on the play!) Whoever consumes the most calories picks their trainer, and pick who goes on which team. Oh, and to add drama (and justify the expense of night-vision goggles), it's all going to happen in the dark.

When the lights go out, Heba speaks up -- I just lost my hubby, and I will surely perish if I lose my trainer, too. Therefore, I will valiantly slay yon donut monster for the good of my team. You're welcome. Phil takes offense -- Heba is trying to manipulate things! To me, manipulation involves a certain amount of stealth or behind-the-scenes skullduggery. By that definition, you can't really call Heba manipulative. Bossy, yes. Manipulative, no. She's completely open about her course of action, her motives, what she had for lunch, her favorite color and any other thought that passes through her head.

Phil decides to be underhanded and sneak some snacks. Unfortunately, he picks the peanut butter cup table, and therefore makes crinkly noises as he unwraps them. Dork. Then, when Heba confronts him about why he's messing up her plan, he can't answer, because he's got peanut-butter mouth.

Purple Amy gets verklempt -- it's not fair! Why should we do what you say, Heba? Well, sweetie, you shouldn't -- you should make up your own damn mind, but don't sit there crying about it. She goes for a brownie at the last minute.

Heba, Phil and Purple Amy are the only ones to eat, and Heba, with her two donuts, consumed the most calories. She decides that Phil has messed with her on the wrong day -- doesn't he realize she just lost her husband? Did she not mention that? Or was he not listneing? Come on!

Not content to just piss Phil off, she decides to piss me off, too, but picking both Amys (along with Vicky and Brady) for her team. They’ll train with Bob as Team Blue. That means Phil, Renee, Michelle, Coleen and Shellay are on Jillian's Team Black.

The Angst
Bob consults with The Amy Formerly Known As Red, who is Pissed. Off. I expect her to go the proper Southern route (I remember when I figured out that "Bless her heart" was actually a really bad thing...), but instead she tells Bob "Excuse my language, but that bitch is not going to take me down." Bob is equally pissed -- Heba should have kept both men, so they could pick off Team Black. Oh well.

Jillian, on the other hand, is thrilled to have a guy on her team again, even if he is a smarmy little toad like Phil. (Sorry, he bugs). But she can't take time to celebrate -- there's a mental meltdown to foster and/or avert! Michelle is having a seriously tough time, thinking about leaving because she fears that staying here wit her mom (who, you might not know, took her two other daughters but left Michelle when she got divorced) somehow betrays her dad. Jillian hashes it out with her a couple of times, finally getting Michelle on the phone with her dad, who tells her that he'll love her whatever happens and she's allowed to love her mom, too. When Alison gives Michelle a chance to leave at weigh-in, Michelle declines. Good. I like her.

The Challenge
This challenge was brutal, and also involved math, which just adds to the trauma. Both teams have form sunrise to sunset -- 14 hours -- to climb the nearby mountain as many times as possible. Every time they reach top of bottom, they take a picture. Every person in the picture gets a point. If the team as a whole is in the picture, they get an extra point.

Team Black decides to stick together -- they'll go up as a group and work on stocking up the extra points. Team Blue decides they can't go that route -- Vicky is slow at climbing because of her knees, so they split up, sending Brady running up and down the hill by himself, hoping he's strong enough to amass buckets of points by himself.

It's a brutally hot day -- 111 degrees, at one point -- and the teams negotiate a hiking cease-fire for the hottest part of the day. When everyone goes upstairs to nap, Shellay worries that Team Blue will cheat, so she lies to her daughter, sneaks into Coleen's room, and discusses cheating herself. In the end, she and Coleen decide to honor the agreement, but it's a close thing.

The two teams cover almost exactly he same amount of ground, but Team Black's extra-point strategy pays off. They win the challenge -- and a two-pound pass.

The Weigh In

Team Black
Michelle:  216 pounds to 209 pounds, down 7 pounds
Renee: 237 pounds to 232 pound, down 5 pounds
Phil:  287 pounds to 279 pounds, down 8 pounds.
Coleen: 192 pounds to 187 pounds, down 5 pounds.
Shellay: 194 pounds to 189 pounds, down 5 pounds.
With the 2-pound pass won from the challenge, Team Black loses 32 pounds, for a total weight loss of 2.84%'

Team Blue
Amy Formerly Known As Purple:  208 pounds to 199 pounds, down 9 pounds. She's thrilled.
Vicky: 217 pounds to 211 pounds, down 6 pounds.
Brady: 292 pounds to 286 pounds, down 6 pounds. He's disappointed. Buck up, Brady!
Amy Formerly Known As Red: 199 pounds to 193 pounds, down 6 pounds
Heba: 266 pounds to 258 pounds, down 8 pounds (for the second week in a row! Impressive!)
Team Blue loses 35 pounds, for a total of 2.96%.

The Elimination
Cue the waterworks! Amy FKAR fears Phil will get booted, which is just silly. No way are they going to kick off their only man this early in the game. Jillian would kill them! Michelle was the biggest loser on Team Black, so she's safe. The votes come down to Shellay and Renee, with Shellay getting the boot. She looks fantastic after her time at home (although she gives her dress size, not her poundage, in the interview. Curious.) Go, Shellay!

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

• OK, where do you fall in the Heba/Phil fracas? I think Heba may have been controlling, but she was hardly underhanded. She laid her cards on the table. Phil could have spoken up and disagreed, but instead he tried to be sneaky, and he sucked at it. I give the point to Heba.
• That's not to say Heba didn't bug the crap out of me at times. Yes, we know, Ed went home, It sucks. But I don't recall Coleen being quite so "Woe is me!" about her dad going home. She was sad, but she just used it to motivate herself, not to try to get points from the others.
• Amy FKAR says she sees a look of vindication on Heba when she wins the challenge. I think she means vindictive. It's different.
• When Jillian is trying to talk Michelle down from the ledge, she says she knows what it's like not having your mom available, and she's dealt with those issues. Oh reeeeeeeeally! She wasn't talking like that when she brought Dr. Mom to head-shrink her team that one time.
• I'm amazed that people try to keep posing and smiling for the photographs at the top and bottom of the hill. I’d be flipping that camera off after two trips.
• If Shellay and Coleen were so worried about someone cheating while they were inside, why didn't they just take their siesta outside, or in the gym? Trust but verify, my friends.

Comments

I agree about Heba. She wasn't underhanded. I didn't get why Formerly Purple Amy started crying. Get up & eat, there's no crying in totally dark temptation challenges! I knew when Heba grabbed the 2nd donut she would win...I know my calorie counts for sweet treats. I totally didn't buy Phil's 'I can't talk because my mouth is full of peanut butter' excuse, though. He was weasley.

Hearing Michelle talk repeatedly about her mom leaving makes me wonder, did her mom tell her that she couldn't live with her, didn't want her to live with her? We know that she took her 2 sisters, but how/why did Michelle end up staying with her dad? I do hope that there won't be anymore crying after talking to her dad. And yes, I caught Jillian's comment that she had been in Michelle's situation before with the mom issues. Hmmmmm, interesting.

I was surprised that Colleen voted to send Shellay home. Weight-wise it makes sense, but the next time team Black loses a weigh-in, she'll be gone. I think they'll want to keep Phil around to help with the weigh-ins.

Overall, I'm enjoying this season much more than last season. However, I did groan a bit last night when all the 'game' talk started. I hope the trainers stay out of it for the most part like they have so far this season.

Diann | Oct 15, 2008 4:49:02 AM | #

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Last night's episode should have been titled "Milking It" as it covers the content as well as the product placement. Everyone was milking it. Heba the Entitled Self-Righteous Bitch was milking her having "lost" her Gump-like husband (he isn't DEAD), Pissy Amy was milking an unknown something for pointlessly crying in the dark, and God knows Dr. Michaels was milking EVERYTHING she could to keep Michelle's waterworks flowing.

The interesting part of Michelle's story, which I now know better than my own life story, because they NEVER STOP TELLING IT is this: last night they gave some clues that explain everything and that isn't so good for Michelle. Michelle said that her parents divorced 6 years ago, at which time the producers have indicated that Renee escaped with her other two daughters, leaving Michelle to rot in the desert. (It's just a habit to type that here.) But Michelle is twenty-SIX. So, when Renee the Evil Mother left with Michelle's sisters, Michelle was the ripe old age of 20. NOT A CHILD. Was she even living at home, or was she in college? The producer's gut-wrenching drama loses some of it's punch when you realize Michelle was an adult when her childhood was ripped away.

And Michelle NEVER considered the fact that she would be with her mother (as opposed to her father) for this show during the application, interview, and audition process? Why at Week 5 is she just now feeling guilty? Did she really think her Dad would want her to come home? That whole drama seemed so phony and concocted. Give us a break.

I started watching this commercial, show I mean, because I like to see people lose weight. When do we get to that part?

Chris in TX | Oct 15, 2008 8:39:58 AM | #

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I enjoyed the show for the most part.

Used to like Phil, now I think he is a sniveling whiner. His wife being so upset that they aren't on the same team anymore was irritating. They still get to sleep in the same bed and hang out together - it's not like he got sent home and she won't see him for a long time.

Amy and her incessant crying made me nuts thank god for pvrs and the ability to fast forward - in my opinion it is the only way to watch this show.

I felt like Michelle's break down was completely ridiculous, I agree with Chris in Tx - she was 20 when her parents split. I realize that having your parent's divorce at any age is difficult but your mommy didn't abandon you honey, get over yourself. I think she is tired and doesn't want to be there anymore and that was her excuse to go home. Get over yourself.

I am glad Shellay went home over Renee and she looks incredible. I was wondering as well why they said how many sizes she lost but not weight.

HopeP | Oct 15, 2008 9:45:23 AM | #

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Go, Colleen, Michelle and the brunette Amy! I hope one of them wins. I like Brady too.

Jeff | Oct 15, 2008 12:33:00 PM | #

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Thank you -- FINALLY someone points out that Michelle was TWENTY when her mother left. Now, if her other two sisters were older than 20 and mom still took them with her, I'd get with Michelle's beef about the situation. But otherwise? Suck it up and deal! Every time the subject comes up, I keep hoping Jillian or Renee will say just that.

CilleyGirl | Oct 15, 2008 1:25:40 PM | #

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I didn't watch the show until today and fast forwarded thru most of it. (Gulp) Sorry about that, I am having a refreshing glass of skim milk with only 80 calories and 8 grams of protein!
Oh my gosh, now besides Vicky being on my crap list I have added Heba. I'm sorry, but having to watch her doing her little dance in slow motion after her weigh in was too much. I officially can't stand her.
Oh, how nice. I just got a nice sugar free jello with cool-whip from my husband for dessert. Don't you think that cool-whip probably has partially hydrogenated soybean oil in it? I'm surprised Bob would eat that stuff. Talk about empty calories!
Well, I hope Colleen keeps doing good. You know if they lose the weigh in again, she's out of there.
Shellay looks great already. I don't think there will be much left of her if she gets down to a size 6 for the final weigh in. Have a good week everyone!

Margie | Oct 15, 2008 4:41:53 PM | #

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Someone should trip Heba down the stairs. That woman is an awful bitch.

all who watch | Oct 21, 2008 6:52:12 PM | #

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I don't like Heba either. But Vicky is the goofy, lazy, stupid ***** I can't stand! She's not worried about anything, she's got her hubby with her. Just wait till it gets to the three of you Heba, your outta there!!! Vicky is there for the money, but losing weight "is admirable too, I guess". Vicky is just an idiot.

pam | Oct 21, 2008 8:26:31 PM | #

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I really hate vicky she is a total bitch she does not care about seeing her kids she says she does not care if she loses cause she wont go home. I cant stand her her and heba are total bitches they both need to go home. Amy P is working her butt off and she is nice and respectful. Send heba and Vicky home they do not deserve to be on the show

travis | Oct 21, 2008 10:56:56 PM | #

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Heba is a horrible person, she will not go far in life, she is what is wrong with this society. She really is a huge bitch

Leslie | Oct 22, 2008 8:25:27 PM | #

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Heba is a spiteful manipulative person. The fact that she's claiming to not be playing the game is a joke! She's the only person in the house creating drama. Hopefully she will be eliminated soon so the other contestants are able to concentrate on what they came to do.

James | Oct 29, 2008 2:10:28 PM | #

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Let's talk about selfish Vicky. She isn't there to lose weight. She's there strictly for the money. People who lie about their motives never get far. Is the hubby hoodwinked or what? I'm guessing he hasn't made a decision for himself since his unfortunate nuptials with the woman.

James | Oct 29, 2008 2:13:01 PM | #

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