After kicking off its latest installment with a pair of slow episodes, The Amazing Race delivered its most entertaining hour of the season on Sunday (Oct. 12), though many fans will probably be unhappy about the results.

[Obviously spoilers are coming. Read the instructions and you'll know to avoid them.]

I've always been astounded by the reality show contestants to don't make an effort to master certain basic skills when they find out that they've been accepted on a reality show.

If you're going on Survivor, you should make sure you can start fire in at least five different ways.

If you're going on America's Next Top Model, you ought to spend some time figuring out how to walk in heels.

If you've been accepted on Big Brother, you should practice covering yourself with a sheet while having sex.

With The Amazing Race, nobody would deny that learning a half-dozen phrases in a half-dozen languages would be a good idea. It would also be wise, I guess, to make sure that both members of your team can drive a stick-shift.

But maybe, as I've now said three weeks in a row, you'd be better served by brushing up on something even more rudimentary: BASIC LITERACY!

I've already dubbed this season's contestants The Gang That Couldn't Read Straight, but Sunday night's episode was the first time that illiteracy actually led directly to an elimination. If you had to guess which team would be done in by the English language, you'd probably point at the Southern Belles, or The Ex-NFL Player and His Harpy Wife, or even Terence and Sarah, who misread clues and signs in each of the season's first two episodes.

Nope.

I've already discussed with a friend whether or not it was ironic that Comic-Con Geeks Bill and Mark were eliminated after a clue clearly instructed them to go to a Detour on foot and they took a cab. My response was that if Mark and Bill had been done in by something intellectual, that would have been ironic. This wasn't an issue of brains, just sloppiness and the idea of a geek being sloppy isn't all that shocking at all. Then again, the episode began with Mark and Bill proudly telling the camera that they were prepared to be detail-oriented, even if it cost them time. So yeah, I guess that made it ironic.

And, to be perfectly fair in my mockery, Terence and Sarah made the same error, running their misreading streak to three straight weeks. They just caught themselves in time. Bill and Mark only realized their gaffe as they were driving to the Pit Stop, by which point they'd already fallen behind to the point that there were in jeopardy anyway.

Mark & Bill's 30-minute "You Can't Read!" penalty produced the season's first tense conclusion, as the editor got to go all Edward Scissorhands to make viewers wonder if Kelly & Christy were going to make it to the mat in time, or if this might be a non-elimination leg. Meanwhile, Mark & Bill never would have been in such jeopardy if Mark hadn't taken an extended oxygen break in the middle of a Roadblock he messed up twice.

Yeah, I'm a little sad to see Mark & Bill go, since they were the team I was probably rooting for, but I may be happier to see Kelly and Christy succeed for a while longer, because I really want to see more blowback from SportsBraGate, the silliest reality TV feud since GranolaGate, when Nicole and Bre almost came to blows over a purloined snack bar on the fifth cycle of America's Next Top Model.

SportsBraGate flared up during the Pit Stop between episodes when Christy put her bra out on a ledge to dry and it somehow vanished. For reasons never adequately explained, Christy came to believe that Starr (of Nick & Starr) pushed it over the ledge. It's a little early in the game for that sort of psychological warfare, if you ask me, but Christy was determined to get revenge.

"If she wants to play dirty, she's going to get something else," the Christy threatened. I doubt this is really about a bra. Perhaps The Former Mr. Christy got all of her undergarments in the divorce settlement?

Anyway, the trumped up rivalry between Nick & Starr and Kelly & Christy is bizarre, but it's also the first real animosity this season other than the sparks between Terence and Sarah and Terence and Tina, but those don't really count, because I wouldn't trust anybody who doesn't want to throttle Terence.

So Sunday's episode featured the season's first exciting finish, the first growing feud and it also included the first really satisfying tasks of the season.

I wasn't a huge fan, necessarily, of the Detour. Faced with the choice between Musical March and Bumpy Ride, only two teams took the former, while the rest took some bumpy bikes. The only good part of either task came when Christy wiped out at a high speed, nearly plowing into an innocent pedestrian. That's some great television. Less great television? The U-Turn that nobody used, though Nick & Starr tried to convince Aja and Ty to use it on the Divorcees, which might have taken SportsBraGate to a new level.

The Roadblock, though, was a winner. In Fighting Cholitas, one player had to learn a six-move luchador routine and perform it in the ring with a female wrestler. Not only did the task force contestants to learn the finer points of Taunting, The Duck & Flip and the Slingshot, but there was a clear distinction between the players who were performing well and those who weren't. Not surprisingly, the athletic Ken and Dallas were superb and their teams took advantage. Even the lackadaisical contestants were entertaining to watch. The only disappointment was that we never saw what caused Kelly to take so long, so we didn't know how that team got to the brink of elimination.

So yes, I'm going to miss Team Yoda, but this episode was still close to the Amazing Race I love.

Other thoughts on this week's episode:

Another stage win for Ken and Tina. This time the estranged couple got a seven-day vacation that they may need to spend together. I wouldn't want to have the cabana next to them in Cabo.

My favorite line of the episode: Nick trying to make peace with Christy, coddling her with "You've got your beliefs and I totally respect that." The last two times I've heard those words, the person then attempted to help me find Jesus. No, really.

I hate to go back and harp on Mark & Bill's fatal error, but what would have happened if they had decided to use the U-Turn? Any team they would have used it on would only have been behind them because they cheated. After all, we saw how badly winded Mark got during the wrestling. If he'd walked to the Detour instead of cabbing, who knows how long that would have taken or how winded he would have gotten. So if they'd used the U-Tour, would their penalty have been greater? Would the other team have gotten bonus time added? It would have been chaos, I tell you.

And speaking of that U-Turn, from a strategic point of view, Christy and Kelly had the responsibility to use it on Toni and Dallas, didn't they? You know you had some trouble with the Detour and that you're in second to last with a potentially stronger team all that stands between you and elimination. You can feel as guilty as you want, but don't you have to give Toni and Dallas a handicap even if you feel guilty about it later? I know I would have.

I'm not a fan of the Southern Belles, but their handling of the Musical March Detour made me remember why I don't like The Frat Boys. Because Marisa and Brooke were enthusiastic and fun, their band marched with enthusiasm and caught up with Andrew and Dan's band, which went at a pace that matched Dan's sour attitude.

Does this episode have you back on board for the season? Or did you lose the only team you were rooting for? And what's up with SportsBraGate? Who do you believe?

Comments

The first "exiting" finish?? Did you mean "exciting"?

IggyPop | Oct 12, 2008 8:47:39 PM | #

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IggyPop - Well you *know* I do...

Daniel | Oct 12, 2008 8:52:06 PM | #

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Christy and Kelly said they didn't use the U-turn because they thought they were the last team.

Surprised | Oct 12, 2008 8:57:18 PM | #

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I was sad to see Mark and Bill go, but I figured they would be going home once their got their time penalty. The episode focused so much on the sports bra scandal that I figured there's going to be more to it.

I don't think Starr pushed Christy's sportsbra off the ledge (and it didn't disappear....the sportsbra was found on the ground Christy said). It's so absurd, but it's also really entertaining to watch. Loved it when Nick was trying to make the peace.

Do these people forget that they are in a COMPETITION? I want Kelly and Christy to go, but I also want to see more of their extreme paranoia.

Ashley | Oct 12, 2008 9:07:40 PM | #

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I'm not convinced anything other than gravity or the wind pushed the sports bra off the ledge, but this episode crystallized my negative feelings bout Nick. He's one of the smarmiest people I've ever seen on TV. The smug expression on his face whenever he thinks he's being charming slaps a big target on his back (for a crossbow, not ill will during the game). I have a feeling it will get clearer as the race goes on.

Tego Livi | Oct 13, 2008 1:31:18 AM | #

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I am pretty certain that the producers pointed out to the Comic Geeks the mistake they made, and intentionally waited to point it out till they were on the last leg of this episode, so nothing could be done except keeping viewers and them in suspense for a while (I mean, why would they be going over their clues from the day on the way to the pit stop other then prompted to do so?). I'm also pretty certain that had the Geeks tried to use a U-Turn, the producers would then 'suddenly realize' that the guys made an error and either tried to get them to go back and fix it, or wait till the end and take the consequences.
There is simply no way they would allow the possibility of what you're suggesting - the horribly convoluted and unsolvable mess if they used the U-Turn.

I agree that Nick is one of the slimiest and smarmiest people ever on this show - any time he looks at that camera and smiles I want to get a tissue and clean up my TV screen. His pipming of his sister, and her apparent blind acceptance of it are truly sick. I can't put my finger on it, but there is something really weird about this family dynamic.
And I really hope that the Divorcees, the Blondes and Terence/Sarah stay till the end - they provide so much comic relief, plus make me much more appreciateive of my own intelligence, whatever its amount(thank you Mother Nature). Can you imagine the final episode between the three of those teams - we would all die laughing. Yey!!!

Renata | Oct 13, 2008 9:44:46 AM | #

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I actually think the misreading of the clue might have helped Mark & Bill since they benefitted possibly quit a bit by not having to walk in the high altitude. The greater damage done was Mark's inability to complete the roadblock in his first 2 attempts. Had he done it in one attempt, the penalty likely would not have resulted in elimination. But had they actually walked to the venure like the other teams it's possible he would have been even less ready to complete the task and they would have been behind by the walking time.

sac | Oct 13, 2008 9:49:16 AM | #

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Let me just say, again, how pleased I am that daniel is our reviewer for this show! I had to tape this episode (yes, I am the last person on Earth still using a VCR) and the audio wasn't working, so Daniel gave me some of the flavor I missed while having to read the closed captions.
It amused me that the divorcees were so scandalized to learn that Starr wanted to get them u-turned, when they were planning to do the same thing to Nick & Starr all along!
Sorry to see the geeks go. My favorites are now, officially, Mom & Son ... this, of course, is subject to change after any episode!

Jan | Oct 13, 2008 11:50:39 AM | #

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daniel, the sportsbragate incident also reminded me of snackbargate between nicole and bre. i wanted to see a smackdown between the divorcees and the siblings in the cholitas wrestling ring. that would've been awesome!

tc | Oct 13, 2008 12:23:08 PM | #

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Jan - You are not the last person on earth to use a VCR. I still use three of 'em because on some nights there are three good shows on at the same time. I'll change to a DVR when I absolutely have to. Right now, everything is working just fine thank-you-very much!

Lee | Oct 13, 2008 12:25:56 PM | #

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I forgot to say I'm loving the newest Amazing Race. I've seen every single episode since the inception of the series. Any others who have done the same? I think it's one of the best shows on TV.

Lee | Oct 13, 2008 12:35:22 PM | #

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I use three VCRs as well (only together on Thursday at 8pm). Try to watch any reality shows "live" since there is the danger of encountering spoilers.

So far this season I'm not really rooting for any team. Nearest to favorite was the team eliminated tonight - the moment they were shown bragging that they could outthink their way, I knew they would be making an awful blunder.

And how about those bicycles? I don't even like the Divorcees, but I winced when one fell. It's one thing to want a team to get its comeuppance, but I don't want anyone to be hurt.

Maureen | Oct 13, 2008 1:55:09 PM | #

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Wow! VCR people... Awesome! Good to know me and my two VCRs are not alone. =)

Dug this episode, and how cool were the butt-kicking Cholitas?

Sad to see Team Yoda go, but they messed up in Sar-Terencian fashion without the stamina to make up for their blunder.

My faves are still the Mom and Son team. Way to make up time at the Roadblock and go from last place to 2nd!

Mo - Totally agree about the wipe-out. Major ouch! And brace yourself, looks like Starr has a cringe-worthy wipe-out next week.

Kudos to Daniel for a snappy review, totally worthy of the six-time Emmy award winning Amazing Race!

quisquilian | Oct 13, 2008 11:01:52 PM | #

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WOW! You guys make me feel so much better about my VCR usage. Anyway, yes, Lee, I have watched every Amazing Race season and just love the show; wouldn't/couldn't miss it!

Jan | Oct 14, 2008 6:43:56 AM | #

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I was disappointed Terence & Sarah didn't get more airtime this episode... they're my favorites for entertainment value, and so fiercely competitive... hoping they get themselves involved in sportsbragate somehow! We definitely know which side they'll be in on....

Lisa | Oct 16, 2008 8:30:10 AM | #

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If I may add to your reality show contestant prep rules: If you are selected as a contestant on Project Runway, at least once, try your hand at making a pair of men's pants, if not a whole three-piece suit. I think the reason they dropped that as one of the challenges this season, and only this season, is that almost no one prepped themselves on, what I think, is a pretty basic skill to have as a clothing designer in the most recent seasons past. You're not always designing for women!

Heather | Oct 23, 2008 12:20:33 PM | #

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