'America's Next Top Model': It's a Disaster. Naturally.
Last week, America's Next Top Model reminded us that it is not, in fact, America's Next Top Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and sent Isis home due to her lack of growth as a model. Hannah got sent home, too, mostly for being the modeling world's answer to Sarah Palin.
The girls return home to admire Clark's win; actually, Clark, mostly, is admiring Clark. She is going "balls-to-the-wall": I suppose with Isis gone, the, ahem, ballsy position is now up for grabs. Samantha bemoans her bottom-two finish and promises to work harder this week. Marjorie whines yet again about her insecurities, and Analeigh tries to pump her up. TyraMail! Just because it doesn't fit doesn't mean you should be clothes minded? What, are they going to model ill-fitting clothing? Cause I do that in dressing rooms all the time and nobody films me. (Thank God.) Joslyn regroups on the phone with her sister, who sounds like someone doing a caricature of Joslyn, which is kind of awesome.
The next morning, the ladies bus to a warehouse space where they are met by Paulina in a really nasty Hillary Clinton pantsuit. She says that 90% of the time the girls will be doing catalog, and you have to really work in catalog to make things fit. The girls are fitted with pink hard hats and toolbelts, and have five minutes to self-style themselves in ill-fitting clothing. Clark deliberately - allegedly - doesn't pull her clothes too tight; Samantha changes the entire outfit, thus making it unsellable. Marjorie does a poor job and starts crying in front of Paulina. Paulina asks her why she's so nervous and Marjorie admits that she's terrified of rejection: Paulina tells her that this is a very European viewpoint and that she was raised the same way, but that she got over it, and Marjorie needs to as well. Samantha LOSES the challenge, but McKey wins the challenge and fifty extra frames at the photo shoot.
TyraMail! It's something about natural beauty and total disasters. Marjorie relates to the second, and whines to the assorted girls and Samantha tells her to be more positive; in fact, she pushes at her until the two girls start shrieking at each other. Clark thinks that Marjorie's going home this week. Oh please, please, please let this mean that Clark is heading home instead. At the photo shoots, strobe lights! And a Swamp Thing! Oh, it's just Mr. Jay. The girls are going to be dressed as destructive giants. Ok. The styling is fabulously mod. Elina is an earthquake; Sheena is a standstorm; Clark is a blackout and that huge schnozz is really distracting me. Lauren Brie looks like Tippi Hedren in her snowstorm guise. Joslyn represents a rockslide but is a little pose-y, and Analeigh rocks her Santa Ana winds. Ooh, McKey is so Liza with her little black shag and her falsies. Samantha is actually very creative as a tidal wave. Marjorie is a traffic jam, which - as she points out - is not really a natural disaster. She's too broken-doll for Jay, which...well, I didn't know it was possible.
Whitney is a Cover Girl. And Whitney is baking and eating cupcakes. REALLY, producers? REALLY?
The next morning, Clark and Lauren Brie cuddle and agree that they aren't going home. (Mwahahaha, Clark. I hope.) Panel! Prizes! Notable Judges! Marjorie, up first, has a great picture, and Paulina reminds her that there's a reason she's there. Lauren Brie got a great picture, but her film wasn't as good as usual. Samantha really looks like Twiggy in her shot. Clark looks like a pretzel. Elina is making a weird squinty face, but Tyra calls it ugly-pretty and you know she likes ugly-pretty. Sheena looks a hot mess at panel, but her shot is good. Nighel doesn't love the picture, but everyone else does, which means Nigel wants to sleep with her. Remember how hostile he was to Anya last year? Joslyn's picture is really pedestrian. I mean, REALLY pedestrian. I mean, I think it was my yearbook picture my junior year in high school. McKey's picture is drapey and weird, but Tyra likes what she's trying to do with it. Samantha is called first! For reals? Clark and Joslyn are the bottom two and oh please God YES Clark is going home! Decency prevails again.
Next week: Shut up! Tyra does some actual modeling!
Couldn't be happier about this. I mean, could. Not. Be. Happier. But what thinkst thou, my darlings? And is it just me or does Marjorie need to grow a pair or go home?
Hooray Samantha getting first! Hooray Clark going home!
Not that exciting an episode. The challenge was kinda lame and shoot wasn't that great either. What was up with Mr. Jay in the Swamp Thing get up? It didn't seem to apply to the actual photo shoot. I thought the girls would be in some REALLY heavy makeup and hair.
With all the focus on Marjorie, I thought she might be the one going home, but her shot turned out well even though her session was a little painful. I did originally sympathize with Marjorie, but now she just whines and whines. I mean, it's fine to have those kinds of negative thoughts - not everybody can be so positive and filled with self-love like Samantha, but Marjorie needs to just keep it to herself. Unless it's really a psych-out ploy on the other girls. But I really don't think it is.
Joslyn's photo was actually the weakest to me, but she's had better photos in the past, so even though Clark had the best photo last week, she did deserve to go home.
Overall, I wasn't that happy with most of the pictures. Though from a distance, Samantha's was kind of awesome. It looked like a real ad; though I'm not sure for what! (It was interesting to me that Tyra even admitted that there were better shots of McKey - I wish we could see like, the top three shots of each model...)
I also think that Mr. Jay should be at panel because sometimes there's this disconnect with what he's telling (or not telling) the girls that the models then get criticized for by the judges. He didn't seem to direct or suggest to McKey to be more 'melty' like the judges wanted. In fact, he talked about how, with her 50 extra frames, it was like she had two great shoots back to back.
Is Tyra the most ignorant ***** on TV or just the most insensitive? This shoot was almost as tasteless as the cancer shoot. Ever heard of Katrina, Tyra?
Whitney looooooves her some cupcakes. She looks like she ate Tacara.
So glad Clark is gone. She was way too ****y/arrogant. She needed to pushed down a few notches.
And, please, let Marjorie be next gone. I can't stand any more of her whining!
Hi Tyra is me from Puerto Rico what's going on . The question is when you come to Puerto Rico to make the reality show of American next Top Model. Here you will see a lot of thing that you don't have in any other place in the world. A big kiss for muñeca sexy..
I can already hear Samantha at next week's show, kvetching that she's worried she'll be sent home since last week Clark was first and then this week she's out, so now Sam is afraid that will happen to her, too.
Is anybody else totally confused by the rankings after listening to the judges? They sat and complained about how awful McKey's photo was for like ten minutes, and she ends up getting third place???!!! What??? Is anybody making transcripts of this series, cause I would like to produce a book based on it, with comments by viewers like us to point out their discrepancies, and call it "ANTM : Hindsight is 20/20- A Viewer's Guide to a Train Wreck"
Hello, I'm French. Nowhere in France is it socially acceptable to whine incessantly, demand the room's full attention, and bemoan the difficulties of being a model. However, it is also true, when I go home everyone tells me I'm smiling too much and look too American. BUT we are not "negative" in France; we have not drunk the cool-aid is more like it. And..Clark went home. YES! There's no one left that I really dislike or really am crazy about though. If Marjorie comported herself the way she does before the judges all the time, with her articulate and sensitive side, then I might end up rooting for a fellow countrywoman... As it it is... Go, um.. Mkey I guess.
"Hannah got sent home, too, mostly for being the modeling world's answer to Sarah Palin."
I LOVE YOU, JORDAN.
I always wondered why Joslyn talks that way; I thought it was just one of her idiosyncrasies. But no! Her sister talks that way too!
And I love how this is really the first episode that every girl got at least some individual screen time outside of judging and the photo shoot.
And since we're all using Yiddish, Clark's schnoz really is irritating, and Marjorie really should quit kvetching so much. I'm so glad that Samantha zogt Marjorie to shut up, but it's a shame it didn't work. Oy.
This is the first shoot of the cycle that I didn't really like. I didn't like Samantha's shot at all, and I think Sheena and Elina should have been called much earlier. Can't win 'em all, I guess.
And I just noticed this because of the episode: in every single one of Joslyn's photos, she has the same expression and the same pose. (ARGH!) But at least she's cooler than Clark is.
My top six: Elina, Lauren Brie, Marjorie, McKey, Samantha, & Sheena. I love Analeigh, but I'll be very surprised if she makes it.
My top three: Elina, Lauren Brie, & McKey
Oh, and Clark's not-making-it-to-the-final-six-ness breaks the credits pattern in every cycle except for 4. (Tiffany was last.)
Of course, one could extend that pattern to include the top nine, which would include all cycles...