Week 2 results on 'Dancing with the Stars'

After two eliminations last week, we're back to the one at a time boots to the behind on Dancing with the Stars. Will we be shocked, surprised, horrified by the results? I wouldn't take that sucker's bet if I were you...

Spoilers!

The show kicks off with the standard recap package complete with confessional interviews from the couples. Tom Bergeron says that Brooke performed a "passionate Paso Doble." Were we watching the same dance? By the way, these things are entirely too long. Ninety-eight percent of the audience tuning in watched last night so we already know what happened.

Warren Sapp & Kym get the first encore of the season for their Paso Doble. This was definitely one of the most memorable from last night so I can see why it was a unanimous choice from the judges.

Eleven minutes into the program and we get our first taste of results, "revealed in no particular order." Toni Braxton & Alec are safe. Whew! So glad they let Toni off the hook early. Rocco DiSpirito & Karina are moving on to next week too. They are super surprised and super happy.

Jessica Simpson comes in to sing a single from her new Country-like album, "Come On Over," while Pasha Kovalev & Anya Garnis dance. This is the first time I've heard the song. It's alright. Wait...Pasha & Anya? Yay for more So You Think You can Dance alums! I've always liked them and it's always great to see them perform.

Post J.Simp and a brief backstage interview with the already pardoned, Cody Linley & Julianne and Brooke Burke & Derek are saved before Tom sends it to a commercial. Can someone tell me why Wife Swap is still on?

Back from a word from several sponsors, Tom and Samantha throw it to a segment where judges Bruno and Len talk about how they're doing DwtS as well as filming Strictly Come Dancing (the original) in the UK. There's backstage footage mixed in there. Twasn't painful like I thought it was going to be.

Huzzah for the return of Macy's Stars of Dance! Choreographer/Dancer/SYTYCD judge Brian Friedman choreographed this number with dancer/singer Carmit Bachar and Jenna Dewan of Step Up as featured dancers. Carmit even gets to break out the ribbon and tap into her rhythmic gymnastic skills towards the end. I thought it was cool. Between the light-up costumes, backgrounds, and props, Brian really put a lot of thought into it. I appreciate that these choreographers get to perform at the center of their own pieces for the Stars of Dance segments so people can see how truly skilled they are. Oh, and the song Brian uses is "Black and Gold" by Sam Sparro.

After another break, Jessica Simpson returns to sing her remake of Robbie Williams' "Angel" as Cheryl and Maks Rumba to it. Oh Jessica, you're trying way to hard. Relax and let the song come to as opposed to chasing it with a bat and clubbing it into submission.

Oh no...more backstage interviews. Bleh. But at least Susan Lucci & Tony are saved before, alas, more adverts.

Our next filler is about "The Red Room" - the backstage area where all the couples sit. They talk about what it's like there and blah blah blah. After all that, we only get the fates of two more couples, namely Warren Sapp & Kym and Maurice Greene & Cheryl. Lance Bass, Kim Kardashian, Misty May-Treanor and Cloris Leachman all remain on stage. So why not let them stew and show more commercials?

Lance & Lacey are safe, which doesn't surprise me at all, as is Misty & Maks. Also not a surprise. Finally, after A LOT of wasted time and trying to sell us stuff, it's revealed that Kim & Mark have been eliminated. At least they made it to the second week. She's sad but taking it much better than Ted and certainly better than Jeffrey took the news. Their farewell song is "See Ya Later Alligator" which is much cheerier than usual. Huh.

What say you all? Do you think someone else should've been axed? Are you as happy as I that Toni didn't have to stand there in suspense the whole freaking hour? Any other thoughts?

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