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'Gossip Girl': "Google 'Revenge', you get BlairWaldorf.com"
Good morning, Upper East Siders, and welcome to the first day of senior year! For those of you keeping score, on last week's Gossip Girl, Jenny's love of fashion helped her move up, Vanessa's love for Nate made her give him up, Serena and Dan's love for each other didn't stop them from breaking up, and Chuck's love for Blair meant he couldn't get it up.
Senior year has sprung, and more importantly, LILY IS HOME, BITCHES. Yes, that's right, the Van Der Bass Honeymoon is over, and apparently Bart developed quite the flip-flop tan. Lily attempts to be motherly by ordering Chef to prepare enough food for all the poors in Brooklyn: it's quite endearing, really. Chuck enters to spill the beans about Serena's latest Humphrey heartbreak and to remind his little brother that there is Champagne awaiting them in the limo. Serena levels with her mother about how hurt she is by her breakup, and how scared she is about seeing Dan at school; in DUMBO, or whatnot, Dan and Rufus have the same essential conversation. Dan goads his father about his new relationship with whatshername - NotLily? shall we call her NotLily? - as his sister enters, resplendent in accessories that would make mid-eighties Madonna stop in front of the mirror and think "eh, maybe too much." Little J babbles on about her new place, or lack thereof, in the social hierarchy of...
The Queen B! Dressed like a Victorian doily! She interviews new minions with dossiers in hand, while in parallel, Chuck Bass uses the same system to allegedly find a new girlfriend. Chuck adds a transfer student to Blair's "projects" pile (as opposed to her "victims" pile.) In Brooklyn, or wherever, Nate suddenly appears like a stalky little vampire in an entire faceful of MAC to pile love on Vanessa. He makes with the exposition for a moment while V stutters and is a bitch - for his own good, mind you - while at Constance Billard Dan searches the halls for his ex-love. The Headbands strut down the hall, ignoring the assembled Humphrey clan. Dan wanders back to St. Jude and meets cute with a female Dan, all stuttery and nerdy and socially awkward and brunette: Amanda. Her favorite author is Jay McInerney! Or, um, whatever his character's name was. Serena and Blair see the meet-cute and start hatching a plan to get Serena back on the horse with some other fellow.
Blair and the Headbands confab in the quad while looking through Amanda's dossier; apparently, Chuck's "project" was Amanda. Blair upgrades the file to "person of interest" while wherever poor people congregate, Catherine (in Herve Leger! In broad daylight!) shows up at Vanessa's cafe/Rufus' gallery. She attempts to bribe V into staying away from Nate, and then disappears. Serena and Dan run into each other and it is awkward: Serena invites Dan to lunch, but he already has plans with Amanda. Chuck rubs it in to Serena that Dan has moved on first, and takes a picture of Dan and Amanda to send to Gossip Girl. I'm not entirely sure where he's going with this, to be honest.
Lily! And Rufus! Together again! At least, in physical proximity. She shows up at the gallery in weird Balenciaga florals and turquoise jewelry - dressing like a bohemian for Rufus' benefit? He, however, is on his way out to catch a screening of "Repo Man", and Lily tags along as an apology for walking out of that self-same film twenty years ago. Blair and the Headbands - except this time in field hockey gear and SWEATBANDS, I could not make this up - invite Amanda to lunch with a warning to avoid Dan. Vanessa goes to the Duchess' home - the Duchy? - to return the check to find her in flagrante delicto with her stepson. Hey! Didn't I totally call that last week?! Having learned at least a little from Charles Bass, she snaps a quick pic before retreating silently. In the quad, Chuck tells Dan why Amanda won't be joining him for lunch, but is interrupted when V buzzes Dan's cell with her 911 411. He meets her and the two discuss their options: Dan tells her that the only way she can use this info is to go through Blair.
When Dan returns to school, Serena apologizes to him about Blair's maneuvering of Amanda, and Dan - shockingly! - gets really judgmental. And things get AWESOME. Serena suddenly remembers that she is a. a van der Woodsen; b. a Bass; c. the most beautiful creature to ever walk the planet and d. a good six inches taller than Dan Effing Humphrey. She rears up on her hind legs like the gorgeous thoroughbred she is and reminds Dan that she does not need Blair or anyone else's help to totally take Dan in any competition he can dream up. But Amanda appears and asks Dan out to prove that she is so not into bullies. She drags him to STK, where she knew the Headbands would already be imbibing, to "send a message."
Blair, gorgeous in florals and beautiful in her tears, threatens V with total destruction if she or Dan ever reveals the truth of the Duchess and Marcus to anyone. The next morning, Little J, seeing pictures of her brother with Amanda on GG.net, tells him that he owes Serena an apology. Serena, meanwhile, is being awakened by her stepbrother with those selfsame pictures of her ex at STK. Vanessa shows up at Constance Billard to find Blair, who has gone radio silence. Serena confronts Dan in the hall, and he responds by being, you know, judgmental and rude. She acts like a grown-up and tells Dan that the two of them plus Amanda should go to dinner. Vanessa finds Blair at brunch and finds her sitting hand-in-hand with Marcus. She leaves before she hears Blair confront Marcus. Catherine arrives due to an urgent missive from Blair, who confronts her as well; however, V has already shown up at the Duchy to show the pictures to the Duke.
At dinner, Amanda talks to Serena like she's an idiot, and Dan essentially backs her. Serena, in what is becoming a Theme of the Week, is also wearing a Herve Leger; fortunately, the Headbands arrive with the Dalton lacrosse team in tow, bearing drinks. Serena drags one of them back to their table, but Dan gets -wait for it - judgmental. Serena bursts into tears and tells him that it was incredibly tacky to ask another girl out on their first day back at school after breaking up. His solution? Avoiding each other for a while. She tells Dan, in an incredibly Waldorfian fashion, to leave and take his little tramp with him; as he attempts to pay for his lame-ass club soda, Chuck appears like Mephistopheles in a purple suit to spill a Nair martini in Amanda's hair. Dan blames the totally-blameless Serena, who suddenly remembers who she is, and tells the Headbands that from now on no decisions are made without her say-so.
Blair flies into Archibald Manor to tell Nate about the Duchess, and to tell him that she has won the long con: Catherine has agreed to pay the Captain's restitution so that he can return home in exchange for everyone's silence. (Oh, but we know some little Brooklynite hasn't been so silent, don't we?) Nate looks confused, or maybe it's grateful? I'm unsure. She gets a call from Catherine, who reveals that the deal is off due to Vanessa. Lily arrives Chez Humphrey with "Pretty in Pink" late at night and tells Rufus that she needs a friend. He tells her he's sorry but that he can't just be her friend as NotLily arrives for their, what, date? Booty call? Blair arrives at the gallery to scream at Vanessa. Vanessa realizes that she is once again playing out of her league. The next morning, she chases after Nate to apologize, but Nate is more upset that V lied to him and turned to Dan and Blair when she didn't know who to talk to. The Headbands ambush Jenny at her locker and she responds witheringly; however, she clears out her locker when they walk away and shows up at the Waldorf atelier. Over steak frites, Amanda tells Chuck that having her hair burned off was not part of their deal and reveals that his plan is for Serena to dethrone Blair. Dan arrives in the morning to find a school-wide fatwa against him; and Blair arrives at school to find that the Headbands have a new Queen.
Next week: Fashion Week! And the ascendant Queen jockeys with the Queen B for position.
Well, Serena is claiming her rightful place in society, and I couldn't be happier. Also, I'm just pleased as punch that Dan Humphrey once again is a social pariah - and deservedly so. Agreed?
This is going to be fabulous! Serena v. Blair is so much more interesting than all these tired love triangles/quadrangles/etc./whatev. Finally, we're going to have a Serena who isn't always falling over herself apologizing for having money...and it'll be fun to watch Blair claw her way back to the top.
Ashleigh | Sep 22, 2008 10:36:05 PM | #Well, I feel bad for B, but it's true that Serena will be a total bitch and I'll just love to see it. Here, in Brazil, GG is not that famous, since people only watch it via cable or the web. And cable tv is like over 3 months late if compared to the US. So, we need to just be patient. Or not, and watch it on the pc. But I digress. GG is just awesome and I'll love to see next week's ep. Fashion Week will be just SWEET ♥
Kyle | Sep 22, 2008 10:59:39 PM | #Agreed on every point!!
Thank the Lord (Marcus, that is) that Lily's back. We've definitely missed her.
Lily and Rufus!!!!
That is all.
Crystal | Sep 22, 2008 11:20:03 PM | #Long live Queen Blair. She better take Serena down STAT!
Ashley | Sep 23, 2008 4:17:19 AM | #I am so glad that Dan got his comeuppance and I hope Blair gets hers. Everyone knows that what you send out you get threefold and Blair? It's time to collect. Blair, as much as I love her, would not make it any public school imaginable. Vanessa rocked tonight and I agree with her on Blair trying to keep up appearances. And if Blair really think that her keeping quiet about Marcus and Catherine would have stopped Catherine and helped Nate, she is truly delusional. While Cat the Cougar was a nuisance, she got one thing right. Dukes, Duchesses, and Lords will always trump a lowly Waldorf. I mean her mom is one stitch from being a has been. Vanessa did the right thing in my opinion, because Cat the Cougar could have had anything done to Blair if she still had some power. I wonder how Blair is going to manage in college?
But Dan is such a tool to the point that it is sickening now. I agree with Jordan on him being judgmental. I said the same thing on my blog and then some. I like the Dan in the books better and while I know the books aren't the same thing, I would rather hang out with boring, book Dan than his TV counterpart any day. But last night was a frustrating, yet highly entertaining hour of GG.
End rant.
I hate Vanessa!! She is an idiot -- all she needed to do was to give Blair time to put the plan in motion. And I disagree Mark, the Duchess and Marcus wouldn't have wanted the Duke to find out what was going on, so she would have paid of the Captain's debt and left town. And I hope that is the end of Nate and V -- totally boring together. They need to write her out and get some body new for him.
Allie | Sep 23, 2008 6:50:18 AM | #Sorry, Allie. Vanessa is a Gossip Girl staple and is not going anywhere. She should have been with Dan and not with Nate as in the books. Catherine could have paid that money and still came after Blair no mater what, because again, Blair is technically nobody when it comes to royalty. In the royals eyes, the Waldorfs are new money and the royals money go back before probably beyond Blair's grandparents parents go. For example, Diddy. He can have all the money, businesses, or TV shows in the world, but he will NEVER in his lifetime be Prince William. Vanessa gets a bad rep cause the writers introduced her late in the game to an unknowing audience who didn't even know she existed. She is the character more grounded in reality and doesn't care about the whole rich lifestyle and I think that's a bad notch against her. Dan doesn't care either but he has two connections to the Upper East Siders world and she technically don't. Give her a chance, she is a cool person.
Mark O. Estes | Sep 23, 2008 8:55:00 AM | #Even though she's a real queen B I cannot help but absolutely love Blair. I also love the turnaroundthat Serena is doing. I've had enough of her being kind of like a goody good just to please Dan and if he can't accept her for who she is than he just needs to stay away. He was completely immature and a jerk..I am sure he will regret ever telling Serena to be true to who she actually is because now that the claws are out he's bound to get scratched..Gossip Girl is definately better this season!
Paul | Sep 23, 2008 9:59:57 AM | #Definitely :)
P | Sep 23, 2008 10:07:42 AM | #Mark, I read the books too and actually liked Vanessa there! There's just something about the way they are writing her now that I don't like. Occasionally I see sparks of things I like (see: using money from Chuck to create a grant for teens with herpes in his name!), but as a whole, she just hasn't gelled as a character (for me at least).
Allie | Sep 23, 2008 2:29:51 PM | #i'm with Allie, i hate vanessa on the show! and get rid of this whole nate/duchess/marcus/blair thing it's just dumb.
i LOVE that serena is coming into her own and not always stumbling over herself apologizing and pitty-pattying around for dan anymore.
still, i do like dan's character as a contrast/the straight guy. and as always, more chuck puleeezz....
Ok, Allie, didn't know you were a fan of the books as well. But I think that the writers missed the mark by introducing her late in the series and is it just me or do other fans of the books think that the writers emphasize more on the rich characters (Serena, Chuck, Blair, Nate, etc) than they do Dan, Jenny, and Vanessa? I still like Vanessa on the show, but I will admit that she is not like the Vanessa from the books. I guess its because sometimes Blair, Isabel, Penelope do some of the most outrageous stunts that I can't get any realism out of it and Vanessa is my only source of realism in the show. I was hoping for Dan to be that tour guide, but we see how that turned out. Oh, yea, as much as I live Blair (and I think Leighton Meester is fine as hell) I have to side with Team Serena, because l was getting tired of her good girl attitude. QUEEN S, WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!
Mark O. Estes | Sep 23, 2008 10:46:02 PM | #Sorry for double post, but I meant to say 'how much I LOVE Blair'. It's late and I haven't had any sleep since yesterday.
Mark O. Estes | Sep 24, 2008 1:19:42 AM | #Mark, I agree with your assessements of the books vs. the show. There was a LOT more of Dan, Jenny and Vanessa (and not just as related to the rich characters) in the books. I wonder how much of the books will bleed over into the show? (Remember when Van and Blair lived together in apt.? or Dan has short-lived career as front man of a band? -- Can you imagine that happening on the show?)
Allie | Sep 26, 2008 8:22:24 AM | #Me and you probably can, Allie, but Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage probably can't because "it wouldn't transfer over well to TV..."
Come. ON!
Mark O. Estes | Sep 27, 2008 3:27:27 AM | #sorry mark o. estes, but this is not the book, it is GG THE TV SHOW!!
LOL, Chuck is Karl Rove!
Sean | Sep 30, 2008 12:38:00 PM | #i CANT WAiT UNTill G0SSiP GiRl STARTS AGAiN!
i l0VE THE SH0W!
0MG ! , iF THiS SHOW NEVER EXSiSTED i WOUlD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN PREGNANT!
SWEAR!
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