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'America's Next Top Model': Bank On It
Last week, America's Next Top Model's Brittany committed the fatal sin of being too pretty, Elina found herself some racial ambiguity, and my friend and boss Brill Bundy kindly covered my recap for me as a birthday gift (thanks Brill!)
Analeigh worries to Marjorie and Hannah about her appearance in the bottom two; however, Hannah snaps at them and says that she's tired of their pity parties. TyraMail! Modeling dreams in a gutter? Totes a bowling challenge. Bitches are gonna break them some nails. Miss Jay disinfects and hands out some genuinely adorable bowling shoe-stiletto hybrids and announces that the girls will be treating the Lucky Strike lanes as a runway. Oooooh, those things are slippery. Analeigh's walk is confident but slow. Marjorie has a terrible walk, and Hannah has a completely bizarre march (but then again Karlie Kloss walks like a psycho out of a slasher movie and everyone loves her, so...) The girls walk in succession, and Sheena and Joslyn are just a little... much. Samantha is bowlegged and needs to step over herself, and Elina just can't relax. At home, Analeigh and Isis help Hannah with her walk.
TyraMail! Something about walking in a bank! Or something! Lauren Brie and Clark whisper about the other girls, and honestly, the fact that Lauren Brie has befriended Clark makes me like her less. In the bathroom, Isis primps with cool chicks McKey and Joslyn. The next morning, Analeigh (oh my god those LEGS) practices, and I fear the editors are warning us again of her imminent demise. The girls are greeted at a beautiful old bank by Miss Jay, who announces their runway challenge. Ooh goody, they're modeling designs by the genuinely insane Jeremy Scott, who I love for the drama, if nothing else. He's like...Heatherette minus Betsey Johnson plus a soupcon of Alexander McQueen divided by, like, Hot Topic. Apparently the girls will be styled as cat burglars? This is what I'm talking about. McKey has an honest-to-God Scarlett O'Hara curtain rod sticking out of the shoulders of her dress. Rock. On.
The girls gasp when they learn they will be doing this runway challenge blindfolded. (Does anyone remember the cycle that all of the girls had to walk in those 8-inch Vivienne Westwood platforms? And someone got legitimately injured? Is anyone hoping that happens again - maybe to Clark? Just a thought.) Ann Shoket arrives - hi Ann! - with Mr. J and announces that the winner and two friends will be participating in a Kira Plastinina editorial shoot for "Seventeen." And one girl will be going home after this challenge - no photo shoot, no nothin. Elina leads, and rocks. Analeigh looks incredibly sexy, but Samantha lifts her dress up above the, um, lady bits of her tights. Thank god they're opaquish. Clark has a really masculine walk, and Marjorie is just a disaster. Hannah, however, is a bigger disaster. Lauren Brie walks like she's been practicing. Isis can work a runway, and McKey's physicality, her broad shoulders, is actually perfect for her insane curtain dress. Joslyn wins the challenge, bless her enormous warm heart and chooses Sheena and Isis to join her at the photo shoot. (Honestly, don't you want to go out drinking with those three girls? Don't they just seem like FUN? I think they seem like fun.) Hannah is sent home for her inability to be good at any aspect of modeling whatsoever. Back at the ranch, TyraMail! The competition is deep? Some people are going under? Maybe they're doing an underwater shoot again?
Whitney is a Cover Girl! She lives in New York! She wears a lot of mascara! That is all.
The next morning, Mr. J rousts the models from bed at the ungodly hour of 9 am. (His legs are shaved and he looks kind of gorgeous in a distressing way.) He announces that the shoot will be at the house and oh it IS in the pool! Underwater from the nose down. Smile with your eyes, girlies! Oh, and you will never guess how Notable the photographer is. He asks the girls if they're ready to get wet, which...Nigel skeeves me out to an enormous degree, to be honest with you. The CW has chosen to blur out the girls' flesh-colored bras. Joslyn is terrified and eventually reveals that she can't swim. Clark does a good job by straight-up coming on to Nigel. Isis is too nervous about her extra bits underwater to focus on her shoot. Analeigh is so amazingly beautiful, even in fuschia eye makeup, which makes most girls look like albino rabbits. Sheena is awesome, but I really need the producers to tone down on the "ethnic" music whenever she poses. Elina gets stuck in her head. Lauren Brie should really rock this shoot, because she has those eyes.
Panel! Judges! Prizes! Tyra is wearing her top falsies on her bottom lids! Lordy, lordy, she sometimes makes Isis look like a natural-born girl. (Also, her silver plastic pumps are too big.) Sheena, up first, looks amazing, if not a little more strictly Asian than usual, but Joslyn's eyes are too wide with fear. Marjorie's shot is threatening but very editorial. Holy crap, Lauren Brie is such a natural model. Isis' shot shows her concern about her swimsuit. Clark's shot is lovely, I hate to say. McKey's shot is intense and lovely but I feel like it's a little pedestrian. Elina's shot is weak and she knows it. Analeigh's picture shows her eyes and those legs, so you know Nigel is all over it. Samantha's picture is good, but more because of her physicality than for her eyes. The first name called is...Clark. Ew. The bottom two are Isis and Samantha, and I really don't think they're ready to give up on Isis yet. Oh I was wrong! Good lord! Poor Isis. But I really like seeing Tyra give her the only genuine hug I think I've ever seen her give any ousted contestant.
Next week: Marjorie swears like a sailor, and there's a Swamp Thing?
I have to say I'm a little shocked at Isis' ouster, but I think it was deserved. I'll miss her, and I'm really happy and proud that she handled the whole ride of this with so much grace and dignity. Samantha? You're next. Thoughts?
I felt bad for Isis, but it was her time to go. She just didn't have the confidence she needed, she was too intimidated by the process, and too focused on her 'special situation'. I wonder how good a model she'll become after she's completed her transition. She gives good face, and once she's comfortable in her own skin, I think she'll give even better face and some strong body. I still think she looks Ancient Egyptian.
Lauren Brie has become my favorite, even though I didn't really notice her at first. Every week, I'm blown away, like I was with Anya and Katarzyna last cycle. Lauren Brie is my pick for America's Next Top Working Model.
I don't know what all the fuss about Clark's picture was. I didn't think it was all that. The reflection was better than the actual shot. Plus I hate her and I'd rag on her picture even if it was the freakin' Mona Lisa. Biased? Moi?
I was pleased to see Hannah go, she was just very weak on all fronts. She has the raw materials to be a model, she just needs some life experience and some help discovering how to use what she has to get a good picture. And let's just keep her off the runway, okay?
I have to say I like Samantha. Her makeover made a huge difference, and I have liked her photos since. I hope some of the others get booted before her. I thought the designer dude was way mean, and wouldn't shut the hell up about how much she 'offended' him. Hypersensitive much? It's just ANTM, not a 'real' fashion show.
Overrated: Analeigh. She's cute, but modeling has nothing to do with cute. She's way too Denise Richards to be a real model.
Underrated: Joslyn. Her goofy personality really belies her impressive print presence. It's night and day.
Elina looks like some sort of creature to me. An interesting an exotic creature, like a fairy or an elf. Or like an old-timey Barbie doll from the 60s. Her eyes are freaky. I think that's cool.
Sheena's growing on me I guess. That is all.
Siansonea | Sep 24, 2008 9:51:03 PM | #Does anyone else think there was something questionable about the quick kickout of Hannah? Like they need to get rid of her for some reason and so gave her the boot at something they knew she sucked at? Like they couldn't risk her having a good photo shoot this week and not being able to make her the next to go the usual way?Isis was my fav, but I understand why she needed to go. She wasn't focused. I think I like Analeigh best now and I am glad to know I am not the only one who just can't like Clark. She seemed stuck up and judgemental.
Mandy | Sep 24, 2008 10:39:21 PM | #Totally agree that the designer (what was he wearing, exactly?) was *way* to harsh with Samantha--and not once but twice. For all he knows she was trying to distract the audience from how horrifying that outfit was. The poor girl was clearly shocked that she had Insulted and Disgusted him.
Paulina wasn't very kind either, complaining about everyone's arms sticking up out of the water.
Elina has been reminding me of someone but I couldn't put my finger on it, until Siansonea nailed it with the old-time Barbie reference. So true! Also true that Analeigh is a ringer for Denise R.
st | Sep 25, 2008 5:13:43 AM | #Elina reminds me of a younger, a little more classically beautiful Brigid Brannagh, who is currently on Army Wives as Pamela.
When she played Sasha in The Kindred TV series (1996), she was about the age of Elina and that's whom I see when I watch Elina.
alia | Sep 25, 2008 7:07:00 AM | #"She's way too Denise Richards to be a real model."
I'm no fan of Ms. Richards, but she did have a successful modeling career for, like, ten years before she started...ahem...acting.
I'm just sayin'.
| Sep 25, 2008 9:07:56 AM | #I agree with the designer - he told her twice b4 the runway show to stop lifting her dress, & she did it anyway! I would have cut her just for not listening the the designer who would have been her boss.
gr8k8 | Sep 25, 2008 11:42:30 AM | #sadly it was time for isis 2 go. she couldn't get out of her head and if elini doesn't watch it she's next to go. samantha deserved the harshness because the other girls also had to hear what the judge was saying. joycelyn deserved the demotion for not speaking up that she couldn't swim so the crew could handle her situation. but i'm glad for annaleigh stepping up, i like her. and even more glad hannah has gone her. 2 much judgmental drama with that girl.
renee | Sep 25, 2008 12:33:48 PM | #i too agree that clark's photo wasn't all that impressive...it was just ok - not deserving of being called first...
personally i think lauren brie's pic was fantastic and absolutely gorgeous...she has the real makings of a top model...
glad hannah is gone - her donald duck voice was driving me insane!!
I went to take a look at the shots from this week's episode on the official website... and weirdly, Sheena doesn't seem to have a portfolio??
Chelsea | Sep 25, 2008 4:18:31 PM | #Happy belated birthday!
Damn. I really liked Isis. But...alas, she was a burnout.
This cycle, even though it's been the campiest by far, has given us the most interesting contestants and best photo shoots to date. And all but two girls rocked it this week!
Favorite contestant: Elina
Second favorite: Sheena
Third favorite: Analeigh
Least favorite: Clark
My top six: Elina, Joslyn, Lauren Brie, Marjorie, McKey, Samantha
Jhg812 | Sep 25, 2008 6:13:28 PM | #samantha with her new haircut reminds of linda evanglista ...
tc | Sep 25, 2008 6:39:46 PM | #Samantha - Linda Evangelista? No. Freaking. Way. I personally dislike her make-over and she just doesn't listen.
Elena is my favorite. I think she's very focused and has an exotic, amazing look about her. I really like Annaleigh, but I don't think she has that much potential, and I'm on board with disliking Clark. I don't think her make-over has done her any favors, either. Marjorie is just so, so awkward, it's almost painful to watch. Isis was cool and I'm glad they gave him (her) a chance because it was a very interesting ingredient to the show.
The others kind of all blend together, and maybe I'll get a better feeling for them once a few more have gone home.
The whole show is entertaining and that's the reason I enjoy watching it. We all have our opinions and it's interesting to read what everyone has to say.
cynx | Sep 26, 2008 8:32:07 AM | #I have to admit that I do like Samantha - of course, the cameras focused on the absolutely terrified deer-in-the-headlights expression on her face, both after the challenge and at the panel; she was mentally packing her bags, convinced that she would be getting the boot. Although I felt a teensy bit bad for her, I wasn't shocked or disappointed overmuch when Hannah was eliminated. I thought that Isis would hang on a little longer, though, but she's cool, and the best of luck to her!
Elina, Sheena and Joslyn are also my faves, with McKey following very close behind.
Now, I know this may be a strange idea BUT - they had 14 contestants, like they did last cycle - and it's normally been 13 contestants for the past several cycles before that so that left us with one extra girl, and they needed a way to eliminate that extra girl. I wonder what would have happened last cycle if Kimberly hadn't quit after the first photo shoot? They ended up eliminating Atalya anyway, so they were able to eliminate the "extra girl" early on.
I hope that this makes sense - a bit! - and that I haven't bored you all into a trance.
Felicia | Sep 26, 2008 10:40:17 AM | #What a disappointing week! Mostly because Isis is gone. I was hoping she'd get better, and I really liked her personality too since she seemed friendly and open-minded which is good for a model. The elimination of Hannah seemed really set up. My guess is that she had done something to offend the other girls and they needed to get rid of her quickly. After all, Samantha did the worst job on the runway, although it really looked like an accident. Since she was blindfolded, she probably accidentally caught her skirt when she lifted her arm.
eliza | Sep 29, 2008 3:31:20 PM | #
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