'Big Brother 10' The crazy comes out

Just when you thought Big Brother 10 couldn't get any more nonsensical - another few days went by and they topped themselves again. Apparently, this week the theme was "Emotional Wreck". Let's see how our HGs ran with it!

But first, a quick review: April won the HoH after making a deal to not target Michelle or Jessie. She revealed Memphis as her target to Libra and Keesha, and was surprised and angered when Keesha decided it was the perfect time to become friends with Memphis. Because Keesha is an idiot.  Renny told Keesha that April was gunning for her, because Renny is less of an idiot than we thought. April nominated Memphis and Jessie - explaining that Jessie was her pawn, so she didn't break her deal. Because being the pawn always works out so well on BB.

Dan gets another assignment as America's Player: he must hug Jessie for 10 seconds. He pulls Jessie aside and mentions he needs to talk to him about some personal stuff. He proceeds to squeeze and press his eyes to make them red while whimpering about how he isn't sure his girlfriend will still be waiting for him when he leaves the house. Jessie falls for it hook, line and sinker. Seriously, he jumps into action like he's a 14 year old girl trying to comfort her BFF. He gets on his knees in front of Dan and very earnestly tells him "Look me in the eyes. You have to stay strong in here" before continuing on to tell him he has to believe in his girlfriend and not let other HGs make him feel bad about her. The 10 second hug stretches into 17 seconds as Jessie continues to whisper affirmations to Dan, who grins over his shoulder and all but winks at the camera. It's the most brilliant moment we've seen this season.

The PoV selection goes off fine, with April, Jessie and Memphis being joined by Michelle, Jerry and Libra with Renny hosting. It's great for Team Jessie (he's the only one that calls it that, of course) that Michelle is in, while terrible for...well, everyone else that Libra and Jerry are too, given that traditionally they are not good in competitions at all. April feels the pressure to carry a win for the house majority to keep her nominations as they stand, and her attitude shows it. Everyone hangs out in the HoH room and Libra says that she may not be a strong competitor but her head is in the game. When no one bounces up to agree with her self-observation, she gets mad. She says that they need to take her more seriously as a player and leaves the room. Everyone else awkwardly leaves as well.

Alone with Ollie, April unleashes, calling Libra a b*tch and saying that she is sick of her excuses. Meanwhile, downstairs, Keesha and Libra both complain about how April doesn't take them seriously or trust them enough. They complain to each other loudly enough that Jessie hears them from his bed in the next room and gleefully runs upstairs to tell April and Ollie. He asks April if she said something to upset Libra and also adds that Keesha is complaining about April talking to her about her friendship with Memphis. Which is all the gasoline April needs. But just in case, Ollie tells her "you got this". Thanks Ollie!

April goes to Keesha and Libra's room and they both announce to her that their feelings are hurt. April counters that hers are too, because someone told her all the things they were saying about her. That's all Libra needs to start swinging her arms around, clapping and yelling, and Keesha slinks out of the room. At first I figure it's because she doesn't want to be part of the fight that is about the erupt - but instead it's because she plans to blow up herself and wants to find an audience that will pay more attention to her.

So, here we are America. Watching Libra yell about how people are instigating negative scenarios around her while Keesha paces in the kitchen and comes unglued, screaming about how she hates April's guts. At least, that is what she is doing until she gets up the gumption to go back into the room with Renny and start yelling with Libra and April. Why are we here? It's a whole lot of "I don't appreciate how you talk to me" and "you have no right to ignore me" and for some reason Libra also comes unglued, as she is incredibly offended that people were eavesdropping on her "private, one-on-one" conversation with Keesha. First of all - has she never watched BB? The walls are paper thin for exactly the reason of letting people hear each other. Also, it's not a private, one-on-one conversation when it takes place on national television.

Eventually, April cracks and tells them it was Jessie that told her. This is right around the time that Jerry comes in to let them all know that Memphis is in the living room making fun of them. Libra tries to yell over Jerry, who points his finger at her and tells her to be quiet and let him finish. For some reason this makes Renny come unglued, as she screams something completely unintelligible and storms out of the room. She tears down the hall yelling about how Jerry better never point his finger at her. And then she goes and tells Memphis that Jerry is talking about him. Memphis jumps up like his butt was spring loaded and at this point I am cackling so hard that I miss how we get to the point where Libra is crying and apologizing to April. This is comedy gold!

I don't know what kind of mood altering substances BB is putting in the HGs water, but not a moment later, Libra goes from crying to April to screaming at Jessie - who has come into the room to defend himself, as he once again overheard their conversation from his room. If she came unglued before, she completely goes off the deep end now. Her argument is basically reduced to "I'm rubber, you're glue" status as Jessie tells her she can't hurt him and she counters with "No, YOU can't hurt ME!" and just repeats that over and over while clapping. Where have I seen this before? She storms out.

Meanwhile, Keesha and the rest of the HGs are in the kitchen, where she demands that Libra go back to get April and Jessie to come and sing Happy Birthday to her. Seriously, there are dadaist play writes out there who are banging their heads on their desks for not being able to come up with this crap! It's surrealism at its very finest! Of course, Libra arrives to see Jessie attempting damage control, so she loses her mind yet again.

Eventually, they all gather in the kitchen to sing a version of Happy Birthday that is about as rousing as a funeral dirge. It is the most amusing thing since Dan's nod to the camera during his 17 second hug. After the song there is a moment of awkward silence before Libra announces that she is sorry for yelling because other people are running around talking about things they shouldn't. I was just wondering when we would get a textbook example of passive-aggressiveness! Of course, Jessie takes the bait and asks why she is constantly in the middle of every bit of house drama. Michelle chimes in to ask if any of them even remember what they are fighting about - which is when Keesha loses her mind. Everyone marches around screaming and I realize I suddenly don't want Jessie to be evicted as badly as I did last week. He's provided plenty of entertainment tonight!

The PoV Competition has the HGs making slap shots into a partitioned net. The center is the perfect PoV shot and the further away they are, the less likely they will stay in the running. It's like the croquet game, only with hockey sticks. Also, the furthest shot form the center gets eliminated and that person gets a prize - but every person who is eliminated after them can keep their own prize or swap with any other.

Memphis is out first and gets the PoV, but we all know he won't keep it. Michelle is next and she decides to keep her Hawaiian vacation. Jessie wins a "Slop Surprise" - which will be revealed at the end of the game. He trades this for the veto. April wins $10,000 in BB gold bars. Each bar is work $1,000 and can be transferred to any HG at any time for any reason she wants. Jerry wins a letter from home, but he decides to barter - he gets April to give 1/3rd of her $10,000, while letting him take the PoV to be used as it should. Libra wins the infamous red unitard, which she trades with Michelle - who is clearly upset about it.

The Slop Surprise is explained as a 1 week slop pass that can be redeemed at any time, but Memphis must pick an HG to be on slop for the next week. He doesn't hesitate even a little before announcing Jerry as his choice. The surrealism continues as Jessie says in the DR that he is confident in his performance on the show, explaining "This is what I do. I stand up for the little people". Which....wait, what? Who has he stood up for? When? Where?! Also, he asserts he lost because his back is too big. Hee! Meanwhile, it's Michelle's turn to come unglued and go off the deep end. She all but announces she is quitting over the unitard, insisting that BB is trying to make a fool of her. Oh no, sweetie - you are doing a more then adequate job of that all on your own!

The best part is when she claims that Libra should have her kids taken from her, because she is not only an unfit mother but also a "whore, slut and a skank" for not taking a letter from her kids over a trip to Hawaii. Aren't her kids 5 months old? Jessie tries to calm her down by assuring her that her a$$ looks amazing, but she tells him to shut up before climbing under the covers to cry. He goes to try and comfort her, assuring her he will do everything in his power to help her win HoH next week, as long as she stays to fight. They are really editing to make Jessie out to seem like a decent (read: not completely self-involved) person this week.

Everything else is predictable. Jerry doesn't use the PoV and no one is surprised. April is still determined to get Memphis out of the house, while Libra tearfully tells the camera that her and Keesha are tired of being attacked by Jessie, so no matter what, he's the one who will go home.  As it stands right now, it looks like it may be a close race. Libra, Keesha, and Renny are all likely to vote Jessie out while April, Ollie and Jerry are all likely to vote for Memphis. Which makes Dan the swing vote. As America's Player, that means it may very well be up to us to decide who leaves.

Well, it's up to the people who actually call the hotline, that is.  Who do you think is going home?

Check out our new Big Brother 10 Guide! 

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