'Big Brother 10': Double your pleasure, double your fun

It's double eviction week on Big Brother 10, which is my favorite week in all the land. I mean, getting two of these annoying people out in one hour's time? Genius!

But before we get all fast forward-y, let's recap: Dan offered Ollie an insane three-part deal in order to win the HoH competition; Dan held part of the deal by nominating Jerry and Memphis per Ollie's request; Dan decided not to honor the whole deal and put up Michelle after Memphis won POV; Dan inexplicably played mind games with the house at the veto meeting to try to turn the other houseguests against each other.

Julie is all business tonight in a classy black outfit, announcing that it's double eviction week and time for "a week's worth of Big Brother all in one night." Whee! I love double eviction night. Here's how it works: once the first houseguest is booted, the remaining houseguests immediately play in an HoH competition, two people are nominated, a POV is played and POV ceremony held, and then a second person is booted. All in one night! It's glorious.

Before we can get to new business, though, first the show must address the craziness that was Tuesday's veto meeting. Immediately following the ceremony, Ollie diary rooms that he is angry Dan didn't hold up his part of the deal. You mean the crazy deal that no one in their right mind would go through with, Ollie? Dan says that his goal was to cause utter confusion via the "roulette" game so the target wouldn't be on his back. I'm not sure that's working, but I admire his flair for drama. Michelle, predictably, loses her mind in the diary room and screams incoherent obscenities. Ollie, backed by Michelle and Jerry and a boatload of paranoia, immediately jumps to the conclusion that Dan is a "plant" because no one could be as crazy as Dan is without having some sort of agenda beyond the game. Dan's agenda is to be on TV all the time, Ollie, and drama like this makes it happen. Duh.

Ollie and Michelle confront Keesha, Memphis, Renny and Dan about their plant theory and tell them the specifics of the deal Ollie made with Dan, not knowing that they all knew the plan the entire time. Dan finally leaves to avoid the fallout and Ollie continues his tirade to the rest of the gang. Memphis finally tells him "who cares" and Keesha says that if things went the way Ollie and Michelle wanted she would be on the block, so she's pretty happy with the turn of events. Memphis finally reveals that the jig is up and they knew about the entire deal the whole week. This pushes Ollie's last button and he calls Memphis a f****t. Ollie is awful, and it was much worse on the feeds than was portrayed on the show. 

The ugly scene seems to end with Ollie confronting Dan in the HoH room and Dan deflecting, as per usual...but it actually doesn't end, because after he leaves the room Ollie completely loses his cool, throwing lollipops around the house, overturning planters and throwing parts of the weight bench around the backyard. What a baby. If you want things to go your way, Ollie, win HoH competitions. Don't wait until your showmance leaves to start playing and then give the first HoH competition you actually have a chance to win to someone else on the mere promise that they'll do what you want. Michelle confronts Dan on her own saying she's the only one in the house that hasn't screwed him and she doesn't understand why he put her up and not Ollie. Dan plays his usual shifty self and says it was basically only a matter of chance. She then cries in the diary room saying that she would rather Dan tell her it was because she was a good player or a threat, not that it was some "roulette" bull. No matter how crazy Michelle can be, it's sort of hard to find fault in that argument.

There's no time to waste in a double eviction episode and that means no time for houseguest Q&A, which is the main reason I love double eviction episodes. Jerry and Michelle give their final speeches and Michelle trots out the "vote for what's best for you, not the person next to you" speech AGAIN. This is when I know Michelle is going home, because dude. That speech has been used by the loser every week for like six weeks. It's not working. Get a new strategy, people!

As expected, Michelle is evicted 3-1 and Jerry squeaks by yet again. It's really quite impressive how long he's managed to last in this house. Michelle's goodbye is quick and teary, and she cutely gives Julie a hug instead of the usual handshake. Julie gets right down to the big questions, immediately asking Michelle why she thinks she was the target. Michelle says she thinks she was the target the whole time, not just after the POV, and she goes on and on about how Dan must be a plant because everything he does makes no sense. Julie quickly lets her down easy, saying Dan was definitely not a plant and she was only evicted by clever gameplay. Michelle says then he will definitely be sitting where she's sitting in just a few minutes, so Michelle must be very confident that Ollie or Jerry will be winning the upcoming HoH. I am not quite so confident about that.

Now, it's time for the HoH competition! I'm having far too much fun with this (and using far too many exclamation points), I know. The game is called "Big Brother Headlines" and is all about questions asked of BB viewers about which houseguest best fits "imaginary headlines from the future." Each correct answer gets a point, and the houseguest with the most points after seven questions wins. After three questions, Jerry is in the lead and Memphis is pretty much completely out of it. At the final question Jerry is leading Keesha by one point, but Keesha ties it up and it goes to a tiebreaker. I hate to break my calm recapper exterior, but I am rooting for Keesha like crazy at this point. The tiebreaker asks how many lollipops were on the table after the food competition last week, and Jerry and Keesha hilariously both guess 100 (the actual total was 218). This forces them to go to a second tiebreaker which is about the competition "One Giant Leap." For the answer, they must add the total time of the winner of each heat (including the finals) and give the answer in seconds. Darn, that's tough! Jerry guesses 320 and Keesha guesses 500. The correct answer is 1,556 seconds which means...Keesha wins! Something I wanted to happen finally happened!

No sooner do we return from the break than it's time for Keesha to make her nominations. She's understandably flustered to do it so soon but sensibly nominates Jerry and Ollie because they are not in her alliance. There's no time for anyone to get comfortable, though, because it's time for the veto competition! Well, first it's time for yet another commercial so they can set up the veto competition in the back yard, but whatever. The veto competition is called "Veto in a Haystack" and it's just like it sounds, with the houseguests having to search through a literal haystack to find two veto medallions hidden within. The first one to bring back both (one at a time, mind you) wins. In quick order, Dan finds both medallions and wins the veto. Things are not going well in this double elimination episode for Jerry and Ollie, that's for sure.

When we get back from yet another commercial, we see the houseguests in action NOT talking strategy (as BB wanted, I'm sure) but laughing about Keesha and Jerry putting the same answers in the HoH competition. Heh. When the meeting begins Dan is still breathing hard from the exertion of the competition and Jerry and Ollie are called on to give a speech to see if Dan will save them, which is quite unlikely. Ollie taunts Dan to "play another game," which Dan totally deserves, but in the end Dan unsurprisingly keeps the nominations the same and plays no games. Before the second eviction, however, it's time for...you guessed it...a commercial!

After the seven billionth commercial of the night, the houseguests return and Ollie is evicted 3-0, which means Jerry slips through the cracks yet again. He's going to slide his way all the way to final two, just you wait. Ollie stands up before his name is even read and storms out of the house, hugging no one and throwing a "see you all later" behind his back as he sprints out the door. Inside the house, Jerry expresses gratitude for still being in the game and just asks for a chance to "talk" this week, knowing he's the odd man out. Outside the house in his exit interview, Ollie remains fairly gracious despite being upset at himself for losing the HoH and veto competitions. He does, however, all but make sure we know that there's no way he'll be voting for Dan if he makes final two. That's going to be a common problem for Dan if he makes it that far, I think. Ollie then talks about his feelings for April, and I fall asleep because I don't care about their relationship and recapping a double eviction episode is tiring, y'all.

Favorite quotes:

• "Have you ever seen someone light a fuse to a bomb and stand there to watch it blow up? No, they get the hell out of there." - Dan, on why he walked away during Ollie's post-veto meeting tirade
• "It's hard to believe anything that comes out of that kid's mouth." - Michelle, on Dan
  

Read all of the latest BB scoop on our Big Brother 10 Guide.

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