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'America's Got Talent': Vegas baby!
We're here! The moment's arrived! We're through with the initial auditions and are off to Vegas for a two-hour good-acts-and-crazy-people fest! America's Got Talent really laid an egg with the editing of this show. The initial rounds went on about 3 weeks too long and now we only get one Vegas round before we break for the Olympics. Terrible. But we mustn't dwell. No, not today. We CAN'T. Not on Rex Manning Las Vegas Day!
Jerry welcomes us to Vegas as the acts arrive. They will be competing for 40 spots in the live performance shows. The acts are summoned to the theatre the night they arrive. The judges greet them and then deliver some rather shocking news. That very night the 3 judges are going to review the audition tapes and send some people home immediately. Ooooh. Hopefully they cut those terrible cheerleader-dance-team-Hooters-girls-acts that are a dime a dozen.
In between multiple product-placement shots of the Planet Hollywood hotel & casino, the judges pare down the acts. The next morning, the acts are called to the theatre and Jerry let's us know how tension-filled this is. Please. Get on with it. I want blood! And tears! The show pulls the American Idol stand-by of dividing the acts into 4 separate groups and then eliminating one group. Groups A, C and D are safe, Group B is eliminated. The only member of Group B I recognize is Chellena, who was diagnosed with cervical cancer two years ago, but now has been cancer-free for a year and sang "Born by the River." She was okay, but a little rough. No big surprise she's going home. We learn that 19 acts were sent home an 94 were kept. Wow, that's still a lot.
The judges are grouping acts by type (dance, singing, impersonators) so that the judges can compare similar acts. The Variety Acts: Extreme Performance group is up first. Flambeaux puts on quite a show, then we get the weird sparks-shooting girl that I would not pay ANY money to go see. We then get a tall bald guy named Bruce who escapes from a straitjacket. The background music is very 300. It is making me expect that when they reject an act, Piers will give a thumbs down and then The Hoff will pull a lever and send the rejected acts through a trapdoor into a pit of hungry lions.
Alas, that does not happen.
Kevin the Speed Brick-breaker takes the stage and goes all crazy-pants on some concrete blocks. It's cool... for about 30 seconds. There is no way he could sustain a Vegas show by himself. We then get Dan the Sword-Swallower, who is going to swallow a curved sword. Yeesh. This act creeps me out. The freaky music is back and the editing would have us believe that Kevin the brick-breaker is going to rush the stage and snap Dan's neck. The editors sure are getting dramatic! The Russian Bar Act almost loses their flipping bar girl, but they save it. Yikes. I'd go see that in a heartbeat.
The next group are the Impersonators. Britney and Tina are ready to throw down and poor Frank Sinatra is going to get caught in the middle. Derek does look quite a bit like Britney, that's scary. He's still lip syncing, which is disappointing because he's not very good at the lip syncing. The judges think he might be one-note. Well, let's be honest... all impersonators are. Now we have Doree, the TIna Turner impersonator. I don't like Doree, she's too big to be Tina. This is like the Thing that Ate Tina Turner (and also Played O-line for the Cowboys). I don't find either of these interesting. Bring on an impersonator who actually sings, not just someone who jiggles around while lip syncing. I don't think the winner of America's Got Talent is going to be someone whose talent is something I do in my bathroom.
Joseph from Nebraska comes out to do his Elvis. This kid is pretty entertaining, but it's like so many of these acts. 90 minutes of several of them would be great, but 90 minutes of one of them is going to be terrible. Elvis's "Heartbreak Hotel" isn't as good as his "Hound Dog" from the initial auditions. Elvis had kind of an issue with no crowd there to cheer him on. I can see how that would be disconcerting.
We now have an Illusionist named David Martin. I don't believe we saw him the first time around. He locks a girl in a cage and separates the middle part of her body, which isn't that impressive to begin with, but then this black velvet curtain falls down to reveal the body still there in the first box. Whoops. He then contends that there were no mistakes made at all, which is pretty weak. The judges aren't picking up what he's throwing down.
Montage o' Suckage shows us a weird puppet that sings, a dorky kid who can't give a reason why he should be in the competition, a guy wrapped in a plush fuschia snake, the Ozzy impersonator, a Rat Pack group and dueling/singing playing cards? Huh. This montage inspires the judges to give a pep talk to the remaining contestants.
The Child Variety Acts are the last group of the day. Aww, too much cuteness. Also: none of these are good enough to sustain a 90-minute show. Please. Victoria the Contortionist is first. She is dressed like a Commedia dell'Arte clown, which is a little freaky. She's adorable, though. Ali "Shakes" Alzadi is up next. I don't know if we saw him the first time around. He's a cute little break-dancer, dancing to "Can't Touch This." He's cute but he's not good enough.
We finally get some eliminations of the Variety Acts. The judges bring out lines of competitors and have some of them step forward, then eliminate one line or the other. The first group includes the Sword-swallower, Brick-breaker, Sparks Girl, Flambeaux, and the two big bald guys who alternately escape from the straitjacket and lay on the bed of needles. They have Kevin the Brick-breaker step forward and then keep everybody else. WOW! Harsh! I can't believe they kept everybody else.
They take the dance groups next and they keep the Dallas Desperados, which is disappointing. They keep the Tap-dancing Dads, awww. They send home David the Bad Magician Who Also Lies and keep a different magician who we haven't seen perform, but who is CUTE. Out of the kids group, they eliminate Shakes and Victoria. I can't believe they eliminated Victoria, that is very surprising. Plus, she's awesome! Out of the impersonators, they keep Tina, Britney, Frank Sinatra and Elvis. I'm disappointed they kept Tina, but meh. The other impersonators, who we didn't even see, go home.
Day 2 is all the Music Acts. The Opera Group is up first and they break out the 300 music again. Maybe Neal and car salesman Donald are going to rumble. Chiquita appears to be a drag-queen opera singer, which is... new. Huh. I'm sorry, but who would go watch 90 minutes of one dude singing opera? Really, I'm asking. Michael, who last year got eliminated in Vegas, comes out to sing and whips out "A Time for Us" from West Side Story. He... doesn't seem to know the words. WTF? Also, when I think of opera, I definitely think Wagner, Puccini and... Leonard Bernstein.
Donald sings some song that repeats the word "fly" a lot and doesn't sound very good. Chiquita is the first one to do actual opera, whipping out a song I recognize but can't tell you the title of. It sends Neal into big blubbery tears. Dude, suck it up. You have to sing now. Neal sings, "Unchained Melody" in Italian? WTF is with these "opera" singers? Changing the lyrics to Italian does not make it opera! He sounds good, but this is not "opera." Plus, he doesn't sing the big part! Lame.
The Child Singers are up next and we get cute raven-haired 15 year-old Mia in a red dress who sings and plays the piano and is QUITE good. I'm a fan. Next up are 9 year-old David and 4 year-old Caitlin. They show her smooching him on the cheek and he responds, "Thanks, Caitlin" and I DIE FROM THE CUTENESS. Seriously. These two can't really compete in this competition, but I'd just sit at home for an hour and watch them be cute together.
David runs out in his tux and backstage Caitlin goes, "I wanna watch David!" OH MY GOD, CUTE! He sings "If We Hold on Together" while Caitlin jumps up and down in order to see the TV screen where David is performing. It is then Caitlin's turn and she sings "When You Wish Upon a Star" and... no words. I'm in a diabetic coma over here. Her parents are lucky she's not close enough for me to kidnap.
The Male Adult Singers are up now and Daniel the Army Guy is up first. He's in his Army Dress uniform, which seems like a cheat. Haha. He sings, "Another Summer Day" and it really isn't very good. He is off-pitch and he flubs some lyrics. As he is bummed out about blowing it, 30 year-old Brian with big muscles but an unimpressive initial audition comes out. He sings "When a Man Loves a Woman" and it's not bad. His biggest competition is Kyle, a similarly aged and similarly sounding singer. He sings "I'll Make Love to You," which is not my favorite Boyz II Men song. He doesn't do that well. Kyle is straining for some of the higher notes until he's just shouting and he's also making the "passing a stone" face.
The Female Adult Singers are up first with Cat Williams, a prison officer who sings "Let the Good Times Roll" and is quite entertaining. She's got the big Aretha-style going, but with a lower voice. 19 year-old Holly is our next one. She's a little Kelly Pickler-lookin' girl who may not have two brain cells to rub together. She sings "When God-fearin' Women Get the Blues" and there is such a disconnect between her speaking voice and her singing voice... it's freaky. Also, she's not THAT good. 40 year-old Queen Emily is up next. She's another Aretha-type singer, but since I could listen to Aretha all day long I say bring 'em on. She sings "I'm Every Woman" and it's pretty darn good. Good for her.
That wraps up the Musical Acts and the judges deliberate. In the Child Group, a girl named Kafidia and Mia are the only ones who aren't sent through. WHAT?!?! They sent through the two VERY young kids who are cute as a button but not exactly TALENTED and Mia is eliminated?!?! That is [redacted] [redacting] [redacted] crap on a stick! I am genuinely mad about this! Which is a whole nother freaky issue for me that I actually care.
In the Opera Group, everybody stays. Good for them.
In the Adult Female Group, Queen Emily and Holly the 40 year-old woman who found her daughter on MySpace are staying but Cat Williams is eliminated. In a second group, "Kelly Pickler" Holly and Jaylee are eliminated and factory-worker Jessica and "Carrie Underwood" Sarah are staying.
In a Group category, Nuttin' but Stringz and Indigo are kept (nice of the show to show us those tonight AT ALL) and then the Adult Males of Daniel, Brian and Kyle are staying. I'm irritated by Indigo staying around becuase they are those stupid Ukrainian girls who kind of suck. Boooo. Also, what happened to Next II None? I liked them. Maybe we just didn't see them? Let's hope so.
This coming Thursday we pare the Top 60 down to the Top 40. Meet me back here!
Actually, Daniel the Army Guy sang "Home" which was recorded by Michael Buble (sorry do not know how to add the accent mark)and now is a country hit by Blake Shelton.
Princess Leia | Aug 5, 2008 8:24:49 PM | #Thank you, Leia. I looked up the lyrics and it kept saying "Another Summer Day." Haha.
Andrea | Aug 5, 2008 8:34:45 PM | #Kaidia and Mia should be called back,and told a mistake was made.During the children act there were several comments about if the children could hold a show and a comment that Mia was good and then (bang) the children get pass through. Who is really judging the show, ratings.
DBJ | Aug 5, 2008 9:49:19 PM | #yup, yup, as cute as the little ones were, their talent is just too young. Heck, they have the whole rest of their lives to perform on stage. I even remeber the judges discussing after David, that he just wasn't quite ready for the next level. Then he stays. WHAT?
Keep those that actually have talent. I am not going to pay to see David be cute, but I might pay to see someone sing that actually has talent. hmmm.
I was mad about Mia too! I was trying to find a video of her performance online when I came across your blog. I don't know her last name or anything. I'm kinda upset about the whole ordeal!
Abby | Aug 6, 2008 6:30:38 AM | #Also, I think that the Army guy is playing the Veteran card. I am prior service and I can name off the top of my head about 15 Army guys who have 100x more talent than him. I hope he gets sent home and I think it is pathetic that people with less talent get sent through for who they are, not for what they can do.
Abby | Aug 6, 2008 6:32:51 AM | #Directed to Abby...I am sorry I missed the part where you were over in Iraq selflessly fighting for the freedom of all Americans! I am a VERY good friend of Dan's and can only offer you this, watch out because he has more talent than you can fathom. I guarantee that you will be second guessing your comments when you see him perform again! I know what this guy is capable of (we were in 2 bands together) he is inspiring and is an excellent singer/songwriter/performer. Let me know when you go for 15mos to a foreign land and then take your "talent" to the most watched TV show in America, everyone gets nervous...it's those who overcome that are destined to be great! Editing is a necessary evil and we all need to understand this. No excuses, just keep watching, I have faith in my fella!
Peace,
John
Another episode that did not fail...to disappoint. I can see putting acts through to to this round, because you can't eliminate everyone. Also, the judges can get caught up in the excitement of the crowd, and the fact that an act may be cool once so you just put them through because they "earned" it. But that needed to stop last night and it didn't.
Scott | Aug 6, 2008 7:06:32 AM | #I am really upset they even let it get this far with a 4 year old...even 9 years old is just too, too young to be put into this kind of a pressure cooker. I think AI has an age 16 cutoff. The look on little Shakes face when he was eliminated was heartbreaking. A baby doesn't need this kind of disappointment. Don't get me started on the parents letting them into the contest at this age. Let them be kids and if they yearn to perform, let them do so in their community and schools--not on nationwide TV where the chance of them winning is next to nothing.
Sarahbeth | Aug 6, 2008 7:38:57 AM | #does anyone else think its bull$hit that Mia got kicked off, i think not only was she the best child singer but one of the best singers in the competition. i mean come on the young ones were cute but they have no hope of winning the competition. whose with me
alex | Aug 6, 2008 7:45:02 AM | #I agree Mia was one of the best I have seen. I think they generally do a good job picking but they missed the boat on Mia!!! Does anyone know her: last name, town she is from, myspace, facebook... anything? I am a professional musician and I would to send an encouraging message
Jeff | Aug 6, 2008 8:00:09 AM | #I am trying to find out the name of the song and the artist who sang the song playing in the background during last nights episode when they were giving the final results??? The voice sounded familiar...like Leona Lewis maybe.. anyone help?
AngelCatt | Aug 6, 2008 8:55:07 AM | #What happened to the ventriloquist guy from the 2nd to last audition who did the ventriloquism with the real person? Did he get cut in the "B" group or did they just not show him tonight?
Ceci | Aug 6, 2008 10:00:10 AM | #Does anyone in the New York market know when the Thursday episodes of America's got talent and Last comic standing will air due to the preemption of the giants' football game.
mike | Aug 6, 2008 10:42:10 AM | #Yeah! Where is he??? He was really great, but I haven't seen him but the one time at the beginning.
Judy | Aug 6, 2008 10:44:06 AM | #The Ventriloquist, I mean.
Judy | Aug 6, 2008 10:45:35 AM | #I've had enough of Neal. He needs to go on that Subway sandwich diet like Jared. I'm tired of his fat stories. Dude nobody makes you go to the buffet line for every meal. Hit the treadmill every once in a while. And when they bring out the desert menu, just pass on it, instead of ordering everything on it.
TV Fan | Aug 6, 2008 10:51:45 AM | #The ventriloquist was "a guy wrapped in a plush fuschia snake", believe it or not, and was only shown for a couple of seconds.
Laurie | Aug 6, 2008 10:52:58 AM | #Here's a dirty dozen for ya:
1) I think it's a shame that Victoria the contortionist didn't go through. Much, MUCH more talented than several others who did, and I could definitely watch talent like that for a 90 minute show.
2) The Romanian chicks flat out suck and probably do so for money back in the home country. What is this "Romania's NOT Talent?"
3) The cheerleader-type dance troupes were all lame, and none should have gone through. A couple of the clooging groups were cool, but I didn't see any of them pass.
4) What happened to "Bagger Vance" vaudeville/hip-hop quartet? I was hoping to see more of them.
5) Why did they put through so many who blew it??? (Army guy, Bawling-blubbering-opera guy, throat-surgery guy, "I'll make love to you"-R&B-song-killer guy, Elvis-impersonator guy, Tina Turner guy.
6) None of the impersonator should have passed. Each one only had half to 1/3 of an act -- one LOOKED like Britney, one DANCED like Tina, and one SOUNDED like Sintra, but none of them presented a complete package. None of them would have made the cut on that other show. ("Next Best Thing", I think?)
7) I think two spots out of 40 is perfectly fine for the 4 and 9 years singers... They will steal several shows. But, when they ultimately get eliminated, they will have missed their one and only big shot at 4 and 9 years old.
8) What happened to XL (the handsome, bald headed guy with the wife, kid, and fedora hat)? I thought he was the best of the male vocalists during the auditions.
9) Did the sideshow giant get through? I couldn't tell
10) Note for next year.... PLEASE!! NO MORE STRIPPERS!! PLEASE!! (It's not like any of them were any good, and most were hideously out-of-shape!)
11) Hidden highlight from this particular episode: Chippendale-dancer-turned-R&B-singer guy whining about his parents not seeing his chippendale act and hoping they'll see this one. (Mom and dad are so proud that he had to mention that!)
12) The Best thing about this season? NO MORE LEONID THE LAME, OUT-OF-TOUCH-WITH-REALITY GUY WHO INSTANTLY MAKES ME CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!!!! YAY!!!! (Actually, now that I think about it, "Leotard" described him perfectly in multiple ways! [relax, people!])
(Sorry for long post.... Just had to rant!!!)
Todd | Aug 6, 2008 12:23:37 PM | #It's Mia Boostrum from North Dighton, MA. Here's her myspace page: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=144920198
I agree, she should not have been eliminated!
Kate | Aug 6, 2008 12:24:25 PM | #I'd like to see them change the show slightly and offer two (simultaneous) contests -- one for singing/musical acts, and one for variety acts. (There are so many other shows featuring musical contests, and I personally watch this show for the unique variety acts.)
Todd | Aug 6, 2008 12:41:48 PM | #Dr. Afia Siddiqui, was arrested along with her three children by a Pakistani intelligence agency in early 2003 and has been missing since then. American and Pakistani intelligence agencies confirmed that she had been arrested in connection with Al-Qaeda, the terrorist organisation run by Osama Bin Laden. However, later both agencies denied that she had been arrested. Dr. Afia's whereabouts remain unknown but it is suspected that she is being held in an American detention centre.
CASE DETAILS:
The press reports claimed that Dr. Afia had been picked-up by Pakistani intelligence agencies while on her way to the airport and initial reports suggested that she was handed over to the American Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). At the time of her arrest she was 30 years and the mother of three sons the oldest of which was four and the youngest only one month.
A Monthly English magazine of Karachi in a special coverage on Dr. Afia reported that one week after her disappearance, a plain clothed intelligence went to her mother's house and warned her, "We know that you are connected to higher-ups but do not make an issue out of your daughter's disappearance." According to the report the mother was threatened her with 'dire consequences' if she made a fuss.
Whilst Dr. Afia's whereabouts remain unknown, there are reports of a woman called 'Prisoner 650' is being detained in Afghanistan's Bagram prison and that she has been tortured to the point where she has lost her mind. Britain's Lord Nazeer Ahmed, (of the House of Lords), asked questions in the House about the condition of Prisoner 650 who, according to him is physically tortured and continuously raped by the officers at prison. Lord Nazeer has also submitted that Prisoner 650 has no separate toilet facilities and has to attend to her bathing and movements in full view of the other prisoners.
Also, on July 6, 2008 a British journalist, Yvonne Ridley, called for help for a Pakistani woman she believes has been held in isolation by the Americans in their Bagram detention centre in Afghanistan, for over four years. "I call her the 'grey lady' because she is almost a ghost, a spectre whose cries and screams continues to haunt those who heard her," Ms Ridley said at a press conference.
Ms Ridley, who went to Pakistan to appeal for help, said the case came to her attention when she read the book, The Enemy Combatant, by a former Guantanamo detainee, Moazzam Begg. After being seized in February 2002 in Islamabad, Mr Begg was held in detention centres in Kandahar and Bagram for about a year before he was transferred to Guantanamo Bay. He recounted his experiences in the book after his release in 2005. Mr. Imran Khan, leader of Justice Party (T.I) suspects that prisoner 650 is the Dr. Afia Siddiqui and USA and Pakistani authorities are hiding facts of 'Prisoner 650'.
SUGGESTED ACTION:
Please write to the relevant authorities listed below and request them to investigate immediately. Dr. Afia’s whereabouts must be confirmed and the safety of her children assured. Regardless of whether Dr. Afia is Prisoner 650 or not the fact is that she has been missing, along with her children for five years. The governments of the USA and Pakistan at first confirmed her arrest and then denied it. Both governments have a duty to report any information they might have on the matter.
SAMPLE LETTER:
Dear________,
PAKISTAN/USA: A lady doctor is missing with her three children since five years after her arrest
Name of victim: Ms. Dr. Afia Siddiqui and her three children
Block 7, Gulshan-e-Iqbal, Karachi, Sindh province
The units of the alleged perpetrators: Intelligence agencies of Pakistan and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI-US)
I am shocked to know that Dr. Afia Siddiqui, a Pakistani citizen has been missing with her three children since April 2003, after her arrest by intelligence agencies of Pakistan. The whereabouts of children is also unknown, which is a serious act of negligence on the part of the government with regard to its responsibility to protect the citizen of the Pakistan.
According to the information I have received Dr. Afia was picked-up by Pakistani intelligence agencies while on her way to the airport and initial reports suggested that she was handed over to the American FBI. A few days later an American news channel, NBC, reported that Afia had been arrested in Pakistan on suspicion of facilitating money transfers for terror networks of Osama Bin Laden.
On April 1, 2003, a small news item was published in an Urdu daily with reference to a press conference of then Interior Minister Faisal Saleh Hayat when, in reply to a question regarding the arrest of Dr. Siddiqui, he said she has not been arrested. But in another report the minister for interior said,"You will be astonished to know about the activities of Dr. Afia." A weekly English magazine in its special coverage on Dr. Afia reported that after one week of the incident, an intelligence agency official, a motor cyclist in plain clothes, came to the house of her mother and warned "We know that you are connected to higher-ups but do not make an issue out of her daughter's disappearance" and threatened her with dire consequences. After this development the whereabouts of Dr. Afia and her children are yet unknown.
What is also of grave concern to me is that when she was arrested by Pakistani intelligence authorities she was handed over to American intelligence agencies without being tried in Pakistan, I do not find any rationale in sending her along with her children to other country when there are Pakistani laws to deal with the suspected terrorists. It is known that President Musharraf handed over 600 suspected terrorists to America.
There are reports that in Afghanistan's prison of Bagram there is a woman prison known as Prisoner 650 and that she has been severely tortured. It is also widely suspected that Prisoner 650 is Dr. Afia Siddiqui. This prisoner has reportedly lost her mind due to constant rape and ill treatment.
I remind you that this is the duty of coalition government under Prime Minister Mr. Yousaf Raza Gillani to probe cases of those Pakistani suspected terrorists who have been handed over to foreign forces in the name of war on terror. The government should also inform Pakistani citizens about the whereabouts of Dr. Afia Siddiqui and her children. I also demand that government should also ensure the safety of her children.
Yours sincerely,
-------------
PLEASE SEND YOU LETTERS TO:
1. The Chief
Allied Joint Force Command
Head Quarters Brunssum,
Public Affirs office, P.O. BOX 270
6440, AG, Brunssem
THE NETHERLANDS
Tel. No.: +31 45 526 2409
Email: pio@jfcbs.nato.intHeadquar
t
2. Mr. George W. Bush
President of the United State of America (USA)
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW,
Washington, DC 20500
USA
Email: presidents@presidentsusa.net
3. Mr. Hamid Karzai
President of Afghanistan
Gul Khana Palace
Presidential Palace
Kabul
AFGHANISTAN
Email: president@afghanistangov.org
4. General Pervez Musharraf
President of Pakistan
President's Secretariat
Islamabad
PAKISTAN
Fax: +92 51 922 1422 / 4768; 920 1893 or 1835
E-mail: (please see: http://www.presidentofpakistan.gov.pk/WTPresidentMessage.aspx)
5. Mr. Syed Yousaf Raza Gillani
Prime Minister
Prime Minister House, Islamabad,
PAKISTAN
Fax: +92 51 922 1596
Tel: +92 51 920 6111
E-mail: webmaster@infopak.gov.pk or infominister@pak.gov.pk
6. Mr. Farooq Naik
Minister of Law, Justice and Human Rights
S Block Pakistan Secretariat
Islamabad
PAKISTAN
Fax: +92 51 920 2628
E-mail: minister@molaw.gov.pk
7. Mr. Rehman Malik
Advisor for Ministry of Interior
Room No. 404, 4th Floor, R Block,
Pak Secretariat
Islamabad
PAKISTAN
Fax: +92 51 920 2624
Tel: +92 51 921 2026
E-mail: minister@interior.gov.pk
Thank you
Urgent Appeals Programme
Asian Human Rights Commission (ua@ahrchk.org)
If the magician's assistant came from behind the screen wearing a different outfit in the magic act, that would have blown the judges away. What happened to the Pendragons?
anlette | Aug 6, 2008 1:40:32 PM | #Jood,
What on earth does this have to do with the recap of this show??? I'm sorry, but this type of message does NOT belong here.
Laurie | Aug 6, 2008 2:18:18 PM | #What happened to Eli Mattson? He was great and they all loved him! He sang "Walking in Memphis".
Esther Lerer | Aug 6, 2008 7:53:21 PM | #
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