'The Bachelorette' Reunion: More tears!

I wonder if this will be anything like the Survivor reunion shows, where we get made-up Bachelorette songs and everybody's put on about 30 lbs. I'm going to write some nonsense here so that the rejected bachelor is below the "jump." Wouldn't want to spoil it for anybody just glancing at this page. It's too bad Jeff Probst can't host all these reunion shows, it'd be pretty funny to watch him grill the rejected one. The Bachelor or Bachelorette could arrive by jet-ski or helicopter sometimes. That'd be awesome.

Anyway, Jason is back with us first and we have to relive his build-up to the big rejection. Ouch. Jason blathers on about how hurt he was and how he didn't like it that she let him get down on one knee. Women in the audience are shaking their heads and looking sad, like they might stone DeAnna to death when she takes the stage. I think I see someone sharpening a pitchfork by the light of a torch.

They bring DeAnna out and I'm surprised the audience doesn't boo and throw tomatoes. She cries because she made Jason feel like she felt when she wasn't chosen by Brad. Well, that's kind of the nature of the show. He asks her when did she know and she says she chose Jesse that very morning. Jason wonders if Ty had anything to do with it and she says no. He then asks how did she let him get down on his knee and propose and she kind of blathers an answer about the feelings she had for him. She does say that she was falling in love with Jason, but there's a difference between being in love and falling in love and she was never "in love" with Jason. Jason soldiers on and says that the third time proposing will be the charm, awww.

Now we get Shayne and Matt from the London Bachelor. I'm hoping he looks like Neal from the Real World: London, but he does not. Bummer. Shayne immediately grates on my nerves, I'm glad I didn't watch that season. She's like one of the Girls Next Door. Blech. Though Matt does call her "monkey," which is very Shrutish of him. They are engaged and happy, that's nice for them. They deny rumors that they've broken up or that she's seeing someone else or that he got with her to get his green card. They don't seem super-affectionate with each other, but they joke around with each other well.

Now for the big payoff with DeAnna and Jesse. She comes out first and says she could never have predicted she'd pick the guy in jeans with pink shoelaces on the first night. She says she doesn't have to worry about Jesse not being himself, which is cool. We find out they've been living together, though not public about their relationship. That's something I did not know, I can't believe they let them live together. Jesse runs out and they smooch. He says he found his soulmate.

We get a video montage of their time on the show because they can't fill an hour reunion. They don't have the crazy people voted off in the beginning of the show or a cash prize to hand out to someone like James or Rupert. Jesse comments that he was so nervous when he proposed and he barely remembers what he said. DeAnna says she was scared that he might not propose and what she would do?  Boy, would that be embarrassing.

They talk to the family a little and the dad says that when they were in Atlanta he could tell who she had chosen already and that it was Jesse. Interesting, because that's not the sense I got from the edit of the visit to Atlanta. We now get the Big Announcement, which is that they have set a date for the wedding: May 9th, 2009. Wow. As far as I know, only one season of the show has ended up in a marriage, so good on them. She says she can only thank Brad every day for his decision because she's the happiest woman in the world with Jesse. Awww.

The host then tells them that for their honeymoon, the network is sending them to the white villages of Santorini, Greece. COOL! That's pretty awesome. That about does it, so thanks for letting me recap the Bachelorette for you tonight! 

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