'Project Runway' Darthlicious?

Week one of Project Runway took us all the way to the first season, where the designers had to find their materials in a supermarket. The first time was one of my favorite episodes ever because of the innovation we saw, with dresses made of everything from plastic lawn chairs to corn husks, and I looked forward to seeing what this bunch would do. Sadly, it was a lot of table cloths and shower curtains.

Additionally, I didn't feel that we really got to see anyone's point of view in a strong way. It was a disappointment and proof that you can't ever go back, not even on reality television.  Luckily, tonight offered a little more promise. The designers picked their models and then found out that their challenge was to make cocktail dresses using green fabric. Not lime, kelly and avocado - environmentally sound. Also, the models would be the ones doing all the shopping, with the designers staying behind at Parsons. A prospect that made them all nervous, and rightfully so.

The models swoop through Mood enthusiastically, but despite the fact that there is an impressive selection of green fabrics available, many of them pick the exact same ones. Also, we see some of them grabbing some unique trim. Like peacock feathers. They get back to Parsons for a 30 minute consult, and for some of the teams to go from bad to worse. Rocker Stella is put off by her model's flowery, earth mother ideas and Kenley refuses to even consider using the pink jersey her model purchased. 

Things in the workroom go mostly smooth, with Blayne comparing Heidi to Darth Vader. Now, normally, my sci-fi loving behind is all up for a Star Wars reference. But not when it's phrased as "Darthlicious". He further explains his comparison by saying she is shiny and all put together on the outside, but on the inside she's crazy. Well, at least he didn't say a pale, overweight man with bad skin. Not everyone can get behind the comparison, but everyone can agree on this: Suede needs to stop talking in the third person. Also, Korto is paranoid for thinking people are copying her inside out darts and Stella needs to let go of the leather fixation. We are also treated to a moment of sublime irony when Blayne - the tanorexic - calls Stella leather face. Sweetie, that's what you are headed for, and quick.

Runway begins and the designers finally get to meet their guest judge: Natalie Portman. She was chosen not only for her environmental activism, but also because she recently launched a shoe and handbag line called Te Casan. Of course, in light of her role as Amidala, there are all sorts of just wrong connections to Blayne's earlier Darthlicious-Heidi parallel, but we are not going to go there.

Runway!

Keith - He describes his dress by saying it embraced elegance and embraced his point of view. I say it embraced balloon valances on a curtain rod in my grandmothers house circa 1984. It's a good fit and fine execution, but you couldn't pay me to wear it.

Terri - It's delightful, honestly. It looks like a simple navy knit, with an equally simple silhouette. However the plunging neckline with layers of gathered ruffles is just eye catching and flouncy enough to make it look fun, forward and fashionable. It also seems like the most marketable and wearable piece on the runway tonight.

Wesley - The first brown satin mess of the night. It's too short, has too many disparate elements and the stitching it so puckered that it hurts my feelings just a little. As Nina tells him, short, shiny and tight is the quickest way to look cheap, and that pretty much nails his dress to the wall.

Jerell - Well, it shows a point of view. I'm not sure how I feel about that point of view, but it's there. I think the cut out between the model's breasts borders on vulgarity, which is not what I look for in a cocktail dress. But maybe I am interpreting the word cocktail incorrectly. On the upside, he did manage to use the peacock feathers.  Hmm. Peacock...Cocktail...yes, I'm apparently 12.

Jennifer - It's a lovely dress. But I don't think it's a cocktail dress. It's a little too casual. But it has great movement and looks like the perfect dress to toss on to run across Central Park on your way to an afternoon at the Met in. Plus, I have a soft spot for orange and mixing it with the grey gave it a modern, edgy kick.

Daniel - I love the wide neck and cap sleeves, and it looks like he understands satin more then other designers, right up until you get to the skirt. I don't know if it's the empire waistline containing too many gathers or what, but it stands out just a little too much, making even the leggy, stick figured model look a little pear shaped. But I adore the uneven hem.

Joe - Brown satin mess take two. It's the least offensive of the brown mess set, but it's a very plain affair. Except for the weird circle cut out at the top of the model's abdomen, which is ringed in rhinestones. Yes, really.

Suede - When he was cutting out strips of champagne satin and bright red cotton and balling up tulle, I was concerned. But, my goodness, it is sublime. The strips are interwoven across the bodice of the drop waisted dress in a way that obscures the juxtaposition of the material and manages to look...incredibly planned while not looking entirely deliberate. Plus, he managed a tulle skirt that did not scream ballerina. It's enchanting, modern, and gorgeous.

Kenley - The most elegant dress of the evening, it's more champagne satin just like Suede had. However, in her silhouette with a high and fluffed ruffle of a collar and black belt placed high on the ribcage, it just looks - as Michael Kors said - chic.

Kelli - It's unique. It looks like a shrug attached to a tube dress in one angle, and yet in another it looks like artfully placed ruffles creating a structural neckline that perfectly frames the model's collarbones. At the very least, it's well executed and she understood the fabric.

Leanne - The third and final brown satin mess. It's just got too much going on with no editing and no balance. From the head piece Natalie Portman describes like something out of Peter Pan, to the panels, pleats and pockets, it's just too much of everything. And too short, too backless and too...whatever those circle things were.

Stella - It's dangerously short for one. And to me it looks very dated. It's asymmetrical, with one bell sleeve and one bare shoulder and lacing up one hip. It's very much what I expected her aesthetic to be. Which is not punk so much as glam rock.

Blayne - On the one hand, it's a cute pink thing with a unique, off the shoulder draping neckline that is paired with a tight fitting form. On the other hand, the black panel on one side makes me think of Body Glove wet suits. But maybe that's just me. Either way, it's a huge improvement over his diaper debacle of last week, so good on him.

Emily - It it were not for the molded braiding on the fitted bodice, it would look like a skirt pulled up over the model's breasts. It's the only design I notice the accessories for, and it's well put together and well made...just...there's not really enough of it.

Korto - It looks inside-out and none of the judges understand what's going on with her skirt...are those wings? Fins on her butt? Who knows. The only thing certain is that she managed to make a woman who is likely 6 feet tall, weighing less then 120lbs, look fat. Which is quite a feat when you think of it.

The top and bottom three are assembled into Kenley, Wesley, Stella, Korto, Suede and Leanne. Stella's biker chick chic and Kenley's elegant broad looks both get happy nods before Suede is announced as the winner. And he finally breaks away from his third person compulsion by saying he's glad he won because of "how happy my mom is going to be!" Korto is dismissed with a stern stare, making the bottom two Wesley and Leanne. In the battle of brown mess one versus brown mess three, bad editing wins over sloppy construction, and Wesley is auf'd.

So, did you feel like we got to see a more honest design from the cast tonight? Who was the stand out for you? Did you agree with the elimination? Is anyone planning on hunting Suede's design down on Bluefly (who will apparently be manufacturing and selling it on their site, as the grand prize for tonight)?

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