Hello Flava luvas! This season's marks a significant slide in the quantity and quality of ignorant behavior, especially the episodes of late. But that's no reason no to tune in to wave goodbye to what could be the final season! The Flavor of Love 3 season finale is in the queue, and may the most trifling lady win!

After the season recap, this episode begins where the last one left off.  Thing 2 has rejoined the competition, and Sinceer has got to be bricking it in her alcohol-soaked panties.

As surely as expected, the confrontation begins between Thing 2 and Sinceer. As words and weaves fly, Black looks on in disgust. But before long, she too starts piling on Sinceer. Both women feel like they have been the targets of smear campaigns instigated by Sinceer. Under the combined pressure from both women, Sinceer folds.

The next day, all the women are preparing for the first elimination of the show. Thing 2 is still simmering with anger, and continues to vent to Black. “Only thing she (Sinceer) has on me is that I have a twin. I didn’t ask to be born with that.” The ladies meet Flav for a meal and the elimination. Flav shows the women three plane tickets, one to Paris, one to Monaco, and one to Los Angeles.

Thing 2 is the first to get a ticket, hers being the one to Paris. This doesn’t come as much of a surprise, seeing as how it’s unlikely that Flav would have flown Thing 2 all the way across the Atlantic only to send her back the next morning.

To decide who will receive the ticket to Monaco, Flav has each girl respond to the question, “why should I take you to Monaco?” The responses quickly deteriorate into a rehash of the conversation between the women from last night. Flav has a flashback to Hoopz and New York arguing with each other over dinner from Season 1. Flav puts an end to the argument, telling Sinceer that she is an amazing woman, and he has an amazing connection with her, but he feels more romantic towards Black. Sinceer puts on a smile, but in her interview, the nasty side of her personality comes back like a shot, and she drops a few choice words on our man.

Before leaving, Sinceer gives Thing 2 a pep talk. Sinceer is throwing her support behind the Thing, telling her to use the anger she feels towards Sinceer herself to step her game up. Flav and Black depart for Monaco.

The helicopter delivering Flav and Black to the small sovereign state lands, and Flav and his woman are transported via a classic Mercedes to their hotel. As he is occasionally wont to do, Flav takes this opportunity to have a kip on the bosom of his date. That evening, Flav and Black share a romantic dinner down by the pool, where he bestows unto her a diamond-encrusted watch. He next presents her with a list of questions regarding her likes and dislikes, asks her to tell him a joke (she’s not funny, as it turns out,) talks about family, and invites her back to his room for a nightcap.

Back at the room, they share champagne.  Perhaps Black is meant for Flav, she butchers the English language nearly as badly as Flav does. “Romantical” is not a word! But, I would imagine that Thing 2 can give Black a run for her money in this department.

The next day, Black is sent back to Cannes, and Thing 2 and Flav board a jet destined to Paris. The liquor flows, and Thing 2 is floating among the clouds in more ways than one. Flav vows to show Thing 2 the fast lane, and they ride through the streets of Paris in a limo.  Both Flav and Thing 2 stand up through the sun roof, waving and the Parisians who recognize Flav. A double decker bus takes the couple on a tour of the city, and they have a chance to give the English language a break and mangle the French one.

The bus stops at the Eiffel Tower and Flav and Thing 2 share a romantical (damn, it’s infectious) moment. Flav jumps off and buys flowers for Thing 2. The romance is running high as they reach the hotel, and prepare for dinner. Within sight of the Arc de Triomphe, Flav gives Thing 2 a blingin’ timepiece to match the one he gave Black. Flav admits that he has not been able to get Thing 2 out of his head since he told her that her time was up episodes ago. Thing 2 is asked the same questions that Black was asked in Monaco. Flav discovers that they have a lot in common, and, unlike Black, Thing 2 has plenty of jokes for him. Flav asks Thing 2 for a nightcap, and in a very interesting twist, Thing 2 demurs. Flav questions Thing 2’s feelings for him, but he seems a bit intrigued by the first woman to have refused him a nightcap on the show. Is it strategy, or genuinely wounded feelings on the part of Thing 2? Either way, we won’t have to wait long to see the after effects of her decision.

The next day, Flav ponders the call, and if this is to be the last Flavor of Love, it surely is an important one. Or not. After three seasons with the same man looking for true love, can anyone really take this show seriously anymore? Thing 2 and Black assemble in front of a French castle for the final elimination ceremony.

The moment is dragged out, ad boredom, as Flav compliments both women, and both women talk about how much they are feeling Flav. Thing 2 seems particularly wrapped up in her feelings for Flav, stating that she will be messed up if she doesn’t go home with Flav that night. Flav asks both women to speak out on their own behalves before he makes his decision. Black is concerned that her tendency to get flustered will prevent her from saying what she really wants to say, while Thing 2 is hoping that Flav will choose the woman with the bigger heart, rather than the one with bigger boobs.

At first no one is eager to speak up, but after Flav’s prodding Black comes up with the usual tripe about “feelin’ Flav,” and asks Flav to give her a chance. Flav admits to having a tingling feeling for her, and turns his attention to Thing 2.  Thing 2 has more to say, telling Flav that he has changed her life. “You’ve shown me part of the world that I wouldn’t have seen if it wasn’t for you,” she says, and she is eager to see the rest of the world with him. Flav is truly impressed.

Flav tells the ladies that he has the better chemistry with Black, but a better connection with Thing 2. Flav tells Black that his heart belongs to Thing 2, and for as much as he is attracted to her, he can’t go against his heart. Black departs quietly, and with a fair amount of class. Flav presents Thing 2 with her gold fronts. But I have to wonder, does that grill have a huge gap between the incisors to accommodate Thing 2’s interesting dental configuration?

Well campers? Is this really the end of our journey through the heart and mind of the greatest hype man in the business? I, for one, kind of hope so. With no New York to keep things crazy, it’s been kind of a lackluster season. You have no idea how hard I was praying that Flav was going to bring that bitch out when a special guest was teased during the penultimate episode. Alas, our squinty-eyed psycho beast seems to truly be done with my guy. I have to admit, throughout the three seasons, I’ve always liked Flav. He’s annoying, he’s goofy, but he’s also got a good heart. If you’re really there for him, his got real love for you, too. So, with absolutely sincerity, I hope that Flav has found “the one” who will help him round out “the ten.” Good night, all.

Comments

This show is brilliant. This is what a cheesy 'reality' dating show should be. No pretense of reality, lots of drama and hilarity. And Flav has genuine charisma, which helped this show become so watchable. Thing 2 was my favorite for a while, since before the 'new girls' were added, I'm glad she got her man. Whether she keeps him...

Siansonea | May 20, 2008 7:58:32 AM | #

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i just wanted to say that im happy thing2 got her man flava. she was my favorite anyway and sinceer i could not stand her you should her beat her ass.

Ke-Ke | May 21, 2008 6:09:55 AM | #

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thing 2 was my favorite also. flav is funny and crazy but he treats those women like crap. when he was in his room with one of the women in paris and then another woman came in to take her palce, flav said to the first one: "go to where your room is at." exact quote. he just shooed her back to his ho-holding room for the next piece of ass that came along. like he thought he owned her or something. I hope this show is over whether they stay 2gether or not.

gigi | May 21, 2008 8:59:28 AM | #

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"this show is brilliant"????!!! how were you able to type that and not pass out on your keyboard from laughing so hard? this show is the exact opposite of brilliant...it is lackluster and obtuse. completely ridiculous

tiva | May 21, 2008 8:30:18 PM | #

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I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FLAV PICKED THING2 I KNEW THE LOVE WAS IN THE AIR FROM DAY ONE WITH HER AND HIM BLESSINGS TO THEM BOTH! SINCEER GET SOMEWHERE AND BLACK GOODLUCK TO YOU AS WELL BUT THING2 AND FLAV ARE A CUTE COUPLE AND HER HEART IS REAL FOR HIM..

softncute | May 22, 2008 8:59:31 PM | #

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