This week, the staff of Seattle Grace is haunted -- by their pasts, their recent pasts, their choices, their possibilities, their anxieties, their fantasies, and their realities. Whaaat, you may ask? Angst on Grey's Anatomy? Why yes! And then some.

Spoilers and therapist-style tough-love insights ahead...

First ghost: Preston Burke. He's won the presigious Harper Avery award, and the newspaper article about it is posted on the bulletin board. Despite her friends' efforts to block the clip from her view, Cristina greets the news with a pained look and a quiet "Good for him."

Second ghost: Derek Shepherd. Meredith's in therapy, confessing that every time she sees Derek she thinks about kissing him, which definitely complicates surgery. She wants some therapy tools so she can move on. Remind yourself of the reality, her therapist says. So Meredith keeps repeating to herself, "He's with Rose." Of course she's fooling herself. But the veneer of this new semi self-aware Meredith is appealing; she's doing just enough navel-gazing to try to understand herself, yet isn't quite so twisted up in her own angst. I'm confident that this Meredith will be shot to hell by the season finale, but with each episode, there's new hope. And Ellen Pompeo plays this high-wire act beautifully -- there's emotion on her face and a quiet empathy with patients.

As an aside here, I seriously want Amy Madigan to be my therapist. It doesn't matter that she's not a therapist. I just think she's cool. And I'd love to see more of her on the show -- she's like a much-needed Greek Chorus. Who's just a little bit cranky.

Third ghost: Meredith and Derek's clinical trial patient is a soldier, Darren, who's done two tours of duty in Afghanistan (played by Benny Ciaramello, a.k.a. Santiago Herrera on Friday Night Lights). Todd, one of his platoon buddies shows up, having been called by his father. Darren's embarrassed that his friend was summoned, and the quiet looks they give one another clearly convey something more to their relationship. They share a passionate kiss when no one's in the room but Meredith, and the look on her face illustrates exactly what I was thinking watching that: Who wouldn't want to be kissed that way? The don't-ask-don't-tell policy and Darren's father keep him from being open about who he is, and it's clearly anguishing.

Fourth ghost: Callie and Sloan. Callie's clearly not terribly proud of her, ahem, activities, but she's got something to prove. And Sloan? Well, let's just say sometimes reputations are deserved. Which he finds out when the nurses boycott his surgeries because of his, ahem, behavior toward them.

Fifth ghost: Rebecca. She wasn't even in this episode, but her presence is still keenly felt. Alex's sense of obligation to her and their baby, coupled with his conflicting feelings about it, have him reeling a little bit. He asks Izzie to ask Meredith if Rebecca can move into the house for a couple of weeks until they can get enough money together for a deposit on their own place. Rebecca's haunting Izzie too -- Izzie knows she's not pregnant, but she can't tell (the look on Bailey's face when Izzie asks her about the ethics of telling test results to a patient's friend if the patient can't be reached -- particularly frozen on my DVR -- is priceless). And she's unsuccessfully trying to be a voice of reason for Alex.

Sixth ghost: Adele. The nurses have sent a union rep to mediate the situation with the Sloan boycott, and it turns out to be Adele -- whom the Chief immediately sets out to impress by trying to prove to her that he's changed. It's great to see more Loretta Devine -- Eli Stone only wrapped up a couple of weeks ago, but I think I missed her. To protect the hospital from possible future litigation, the board is requiring any hospital employee who has a sexual relationship with another employee to register it. Nothing like the policing of consenting adults to make you want to go to work. The Chief appoints George his intern and makes him do his dirty work in collecting the forms. Hijinks ensue.

Meanwhile, Hahn's patient is a young mother suffering from cardiomyopathy (the same ailment that felled Denny Duquette), who's in a bubble to protect her from infection while she awaits a new heart. She's been in isolation for eight weeks, and she's panicking. Her inability to have physical human contact with her loved ones -- to hug her kids or kiss her husband -- has driven her to the brink, and she's hysterical. Hahn finally gets her to calm down enough to tell her that they have a heart for her. I dare you to watch this scene without tearing up. This poor woman's desperation is absolutely wrenching. Christina, rather than just stand around and not get to do anything, elects to go to the morgue and harvest cadaver hearts for Hahn's research.

Burke turns out to be a ghost for Hahn too -- Erica bitterly complains about the men's club that his award is, and asks Callie to have drinks with her so they can trash-talk Burke. She declines. Later, Hahn tries to engage a silent Cristina in a conversation about his award, thinking that they finally have something in common. No response from Cristina.

Sloan, chafing over his surgeries being cancelled because no nurses will work with him, appeals to Rose, who won't give him the time of day, much less talk to her colleagues on his behalf. They banter a little bit and she holds the line, and then Sloan, like a complete idiot (McIdiot?) walks right into a lawsuit: “I hate women like you. You string guys along acting like sex is some prize, when really you’re just afraid that once you give it up, he’ll lose interest.”  1. That was horribly ugly. 2. The look on her face is a gut punch. I know we’re not supposed to like Rose, that she’s an impediment to Meredith and Derek getting back together, etc., but both the writers and Lauren Stamile's performance make her pretty darn likable. Whatever you think about her and Derek, you have to admit that she’s cool.

Back in Darren's room, he talks to Meredith about his situation with Todd, and that he knew what he signed on for when he joined the military ("You keep your personal life separate from your work life. I just never thought I’d meet my personal life at work."). This is one of those episodes where the patients say out loud all the things that the doctors are thinking, or their remarks strike right at the heart of the situations they’re facing. I tend to think it’s a hit-or-miss approach, but tonight it works. Could be Ellen Pompeo, whose performance really works.

Meredith races down to the morgue to see Cristina after Lexie tells her Cristina's singing -- "Like a Virgin," in fact. Stop singing, she says. You'll win your own award. You saved Burke's career. But cristina only stops warbling when Meredith tells her she's in therapy, and that she's way more screwed up than Cristina. Ah, the comfort of kindred travelers on Dysfunction Highway.

The sex police investigation goes a little bit awry when the Chief exempts Bailey from having to participate. Clearly he's trying to be respectful, but Bailey, bless her, takes offense. Later, weighed down by the reality of her crumbled marriage, she does two (hysterically funny) things. First, she fills out a form, naming all of the interns and Derek -- and lays into the Chief with a speech that is sad, angry and poignant but never for a second makes you feel sorry for her (it's the genius of Chandra Wilson). Who is he to decide that it would be so absurd for her to attract someone's attention and have a sexual relationship with a co-worker? Her hurt is palpable, but her dignity remains absolutely intact -- and she smacks him with it. Literally.

Second, Bailey gathers all the nurses together and weighs in on the Sloan boycott. "This man is a whore. He has always been a whore, will probably always be a whore. But that’s not a secret; he’s not keeping it hidden. You all knew who he was before you got involved with him. … He’s nasty. But he’s a doctor here, and a pretty good one. So let us all close our knees and get back to our jobs so he can get back to his job and help the people that really need it." All hail, Bailey!

Derek and Meredith's surgery requires then to work perfectly in sync, and it looks as though their feelings are anything but dead, judging from the way they look at each other in the OR. But Meredith turns down his offer to help her monitor their recovering patient, and sends him off with Rose. Later, when Darren crashes and dies after the virus they injected into the tumor becomes encephalitis, he tries to comfort her and brings in a bottle of champagne. They will succeed in saving someone, he says, and when they do, they will celebrate with this champagne.

Over in her isolated room, the heart patient in the bubble suffers a collapsed lung, and Karev breaks the sterile environment to put in a tube and reinflate it -- meaning that even though he saved her life, she'll still be waiting for a heart. But they put her kids in scrubs and masks, and now the time in isolation seems a little bit less like purgatory. And Alex defends his decision to be with Rebecca and take responsibility for the situation to Izzie, who's been gently trying to get him to rethink his plans.

In fairness, Izzie really wasn't in this episode very much, so there's not a lot to judge for the Izzie Annoying Scale. But for her earnest efforts to try to make Alex see the light, and for the not-overblown way she tried to work it out (and gave George a hard time for being the Chief's lackey), I'm giving her a 1. With a plea to the writers to keep working on crawling back from the place where this character started the season.

One by one, people begin to free themselves of their ghosts -- some voluntarily and some by force. The Chief and Adele go home together. Bailey offers some encouraging words to Izzie after Izzie admits she kept her patient's test results private. Bailey works on coping with the fact that her husband is out on a date.

It's also a great night for speeches. Besides Bailey, there's tremendous stuff from Hahn, who confesses to Callie that she has trouble making friends, and that she's angry at Callie for being one of those girls who drops her friend when she has a boyfriend -- or "a thing," as she calls Sloan. Later at Joe's, Callie admits that she's been bugged by Addison's assumption that they're a couple, which causes them both to end up laughing, and then looking away in uncomfortable silence.

There's also Cristina, who I'd like to see come back to the forefront with a major storyline so Sandra Oh could get some more screen time -- she does great stuff with what she's given here. Cristina didn't turn in her form, even though Burke is no longer at the hospital. And it's the second time in a day that the Chief gets a verbal walloping from one of his doctors: "Burke is not here. He’s gone – and he’s the better for it. He’s winning the harper avery award and he’s being celebrated all over the world. That’s not difficult. He’s out there. And I’m here. Where everything is the same. I still live in his apartment, I walk the halls of this hospital, I even wear the same scrubs –- and even that’s not difficult. This is where I choose to be. But sir, when his hand was shaking, I performed his surgeries. I kept his secrets, I nursed his pride. You know it, and I know it, and he knows it. He knows it. And yet nowhere in that newspaper article does my name appear. I am the unseen hand to his brilliance. Wipes away a tear. And yet while everything is the same it’s very very different. Now I’m lucky if I get to hold a clamp. Hahn treats me like … I was his hand. And now I’m a ghost. That’s not difficult. It’s unbearable. I know everybody is proud of him. But I’m not. And I do not wish him well."

In the elevator, a bewildered Sloan tells Derek about Bailey's defense of him -- and how what she came up with is that he's a whore. Derek, meanwhile, slept with Rose, and he thought about Meredith the whole time. "Who's the bigger whore?" he asks.

And finally, there's Meredith's therapist, who essentially hits her upside the head with the obvious. She's kidding herself. Her patient's story is a metaphor for her own life -- he dies alone while the love of his life is literally in the next room. She's frightened, and that fear is what's keeping her from being with the love of her life, and what's keeping her alone. Now she's got to figure it out. And in this season at least, she's got two more episodes to do it.

What did you think? Will Meredith begin to make the connections she so clearly needs to make? Did you think Cristina was about to quit in that speech to the Chief? Do you hope they wrap up the Karev-Rebecca distraction by the season finale? And shouldn't the adorable Tuck be in every episode?

Comments

Thank you for having the guts to present a story line about the "anguish" two gay soldiers faced! This glimpse into Darren & Todd's life struck a cord so deep within me that I could barely go to sleep from thinking about it. It unearthed the ugly side of the military which has done a great job of destroying thousands of soldiers lives across America! I was saddened by the anguish Darren and Todd shared; yet STRUCK BY THEIR LOVE in spite such loathing by our society! Thank you, tony

Tony Aguon | May 9, 2008 3:35:55 AM | #

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Yuck! Tho I guess it's fine to let them in the military to get killed

Tom | May 9, 2008 4:13:49 AM | #

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It may just be me, but I think this was one of the worst episodes of Grey's in recent memory. The scences were all random and seemed hardly to connect. Also, why did the episode have to do with everyone's sex life. Is this college, can we move past this issue and get better storylines. Can the writers do no better than to use sex as a common thread through an espisode.

The soldiers' story was done very nicely, though it seemed to be cheapend by the Meredith/Derek storyline, a plot that I have given up on long ago. I really don't care if Mer/Der get together, but I did about the soldiers getting together. Kudos to the guest actors.

NOTE TO WRITERS: you need to have plots that allow the characters to be doctors and not just about their relationships. There needs to be real cases and not just made-up case studies that require Mer/Der to be "in sync". Also, Bailey is the only character I care about anymore, don't have her start whoring around.

Avery | May 9, 2008 5:27:05 AM | #

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I LOVED last nights show. I think that was one emotional rollercoaster. It was one of those shows that moves you along in storylines and we need that.

The soldier story was amazing. A BIG thank you to Greys for that storyline and not pulling away! There are many Gay men who will fight for their Country and also fall in love!

I thought I was slipping away from this show, but after last night I was reminded why I love this show so much!

p.s...I like Rose, but not with Derrick!

Bob | May 9, 2008 6:20:23 AM | #

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I just want to know what is with Grey's going gay?! More to the point, why has that become such a favored topic among writers these days? I understand that it is in fact a part of our society now...much to my personal disappointment...but it seems to me that TV has been trying to make it the new fad...like it's the "new thing" to be. The storyline with Hahn and Callie could go so many directions, but why does it have to lead to them being lesbians? As for the military guys, i changed the channel.

Marie | May 9, 2008 6:50:27 AM | #

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Marie,

I find your comment to be pathetic. Why has it become such a favored topic? Have you noticed that for every ONE gay storyline on EACH show, there are twenty-two other episodes that deal nothing with homosexuality at all. Considering that the current ratio is 1 to 10, you should be thankful that the writers don't adopt a similar ratio in their own writing. This is a country of whites, blacks, gays, atheists and vegans. The simple fact that you would rather that we all ignore it is testament to the fact that you wish to live in your own reality and not ours. People like you sicken me.

Go to church and celebrate your God and commiserate with your fellow haters. I can guarantee that if there is a God, he's going to look more kindly on those who haven't judged than those who have. You are one sad woman.

Michael | May 9, 2008 7:11:43 AM | #

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Marie, glad you changed the channel. Now just move far away, like to another country where you dont have an internet connection and we dont have to read your hateful crap any more.

Robert | May 9, 2008 7:17:01 AM | #

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The manlove kiss was gratuitous - their relationship was conveyed perfectly through all of their other interplay; the kiss was just in there for shock value. And no, I'm not homophobic - a lot of hetero sex depicted on TV is also gratuitous.

Julie | May 9, 2008 7:27:30 AM | #

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Fair enough Julie, But its nice that they don't care anymore and are trying to add it in to more shows. We all can remmeber the kiss on Melrose Place and all that drama. Now, its like nothing. I say bravo!

Robert | May 9, 2008 7:38:00 AM | #

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In what way was it there for the shock value? So, if your husband or boyfriend was lying in a hospital bed waiting for an operation that would most likely kill him, a kiss would be out of the question? If your boyfriend came back for you knowing that he might face sanctions by doing so, a kiss would be a shocking end to that scene? I find it pathetic that such is your conclusion. I don't find you pathetic in particular. I just find it pathetic that a lovely gay kiss on any show at any time is considered for shock value. Ellen's kiss on the Ellen show way back in the 90s...that was for shock value. This kiss should have been viewed as naturally as any other that we've seen on TV. Just because network TV has done a fairly good job at ignoring the fact that gays exist and love, doesn't mean that the inclusion of a kiss was for shock value. If you have a boyfriend or husband, next time you have a tender, romantic moment with him, you might not want to kiss him, especially if your body language says it all. Why bother kissing him then?(Isn't that the same rationale you just applied to the Grey's scene?) I think that you'd have to be just a little homophobic to analyze that kiss as one for shock value.

Michael | May 9, 2008 7:55:48 AM | #

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Ironic that it's the men posts that are fine with it and not the women. It's usually the other way around. Ah, Robert and Michael are gay. Duh me

Matt | May 9, 2008 7:57:53 AM | #

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WRONG Matt...Straight with 4 kids. I just dont give a damn. A kiss is a kiss and this is a show. Why care. Plus, Guess my parents raised me better not to look at others as differant, but all the same.

Robert | May 9, 2008 8:10:53 AM | #

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I thought last nights episode featuring "Dr. Burke" was HILARIOUS! and a HUGE JAB at Isaiah having his picture featured on an episode with the main story line being about two gay guys and the hint at a lesbian affair going on.

Baby B | May 9, 2008 8:11:38 AM | #

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One day we will watch a show and not question the fact that 2 men or 2 women kiss. To each is own.

Tony | May 9, 2008 8:13:03 AM | #

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Robert...no need to justify your sexuality. For one, Matt needs to reexamine his definition for the word "ironic". And, I presume that someone like Matt couldn't fathom that straight men could possibly support gay men. Let him live his life in ignorance and most likely on the DL.

Michael | May 9, 2008 8:14:24 AM | #

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I'm a straight woman, and I thought the kiss between the two male soldiers was very sweet. That was a very well done storyline, and it was heartbreaking that Todd didn't get to be with Darren when he died.

Anyone who felt uncomfortable about the kiss or the storyline really needs to work through their own issues. I personally don't see why people care about the sex lives of other people. Especially fictional people, those two actors were probably both straight.

I don't have a problem with Hahn and Callie becoming a couple. I like both characters, and it hasn't been done before on this show, so why not? I definitely don't want to see retreads of old storylines, so maybe a lesbian storyline is what's called for here, especially since it doesn't seem like either Callie or Hahn 'identifies' as a gay woman. That would be intriguing territory.

Siansonea | May 9, 2008 8:25:43 AM | #

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I was thinking the same thing Sianonea, that they are not gay woman, but might have feelings for each other or will. That would be a great storyline.

Adam | May 9, 2008 8:30:48 AM | #

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I wasn't really bothered by the kiss either. Kissing, whether it be a man and woman, 2 men or 2 woman is natural to anyone that has ever been in a relationship. I didn't think it was there for shock value but more as just regular human emotion. Imagine the person you love could die and one kiss is all you have left. It was very well done. I also wouldn't be opposed to a Callie/Hahn pairing. They have good chemistry and it would be interesting to see where the writers could go as far as the storylines they could introduce to both characters. Meredith has also become less annoying to me which I am thankful for because I really liked her character in the first three seasons. Can't wait until next thursdays two hour season finale.

Paul | May 9, 2008 8:34:00 AM | #

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Great episode! It's nice that they were able to add something up about the personnal development of most characters. Very nice. We got great acting too. And kudos for the story between the two soldiers.

On a personal side, I am sick to read comments about the supposed conspiracy of shows who "shove up gay characters in the viewers throat". How many heterosexual characters are there on tv? There are plentiful! Gay people do exist, and why shouldn't they be represented too? Why the hate? It's time, in 2008, to finally stop hating people who are different. We are all people. Aren't we supposed to love each other? But no, there are still people who think that hate is so much better. There are still people who think that they can play their God's role and judge other. Go figure...

CC | May 9, 2008 8:53:57 AM | #

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To Tom and Marie:

Shame on you both for your closed minded ideals, and judgemental behavior!!!

Perhaps you've never heard of "live, and let live" before?

I loved this episode! I thought they portrayed the soldier's story beautifully!

becky | May 9, 2008 8:59:59 AM | #

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Robert, did any of your four kids watch the show and "the kiss"? At what age is it OK to spread the love? Wonder why we don't ask if it is OK for children to view a hetero kiss?

GA | May 9, 2008 9:07:11 AM | #

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Now is the time for that surviving soldier to turn his life around. It was such a sad scene. If the show were honest, they would show the emptiness that that man felt in his relationship. It would be controversial, but they could let us see him struggle to pull himself up from that lowest of lows and seek a real higher ground. Him saying goodbye to his "lover" could be his chance ot say goodbye to a "life" that offers only dead ends. Somehow, I don't think Grey's Anatomy has writers that brave.

Joanna | May 9, 2008 9:07:30 AM | #

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I love the story line with the 2 Men. I could feel the pain in that scene. To think that you could not be there with the one you love at that time. Remove yourself and put yourself in their shoes. Feel their pain. Then think about it, all of it. Not just that moment but the pain they live everyday. And for what, just so he could please his father and his belief so he was "proud" of him. My heart just broke as I thought of my poor son thinking he had to do that for me if he was in that same situation.

To think this goes on everyday. How can you have a soul and not understand.

Aaron | May 9, 2008 9:11:06 AM | #

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Joanna - Your life must be at dead end. Time for you to turn your life around.

Todd | May 9, 2008 9:14:50 AM | #

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Wow Michael, talk about hate!! Let me ask you this...when was the last time you saw an honest portayal of a Christian on TV? I haven't seen one since probably Andy Griffith! I could make the same exact argument about Christian representation on television that you made about homosexuals, except the ratio is FAR less than 1 to 10.

And yes, God says, "judge not lest ye be judged". I do believe very much in God, and i would not dare presume to do His job! I'm sorry that it came across that way. I do believe television has started to push that agenda, but that's just my opinion...you have your own.

All i was saying by my comment of "changing the channel" was that i, unlike most people who complain about what's on TV, realize that my TV has an off button, so i used it.

Marie | May 9, 2008 9:16:30 AM | #

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"Push the agenda" ?!? Who's agenda? Most of the time, lesbian storylines are added up to the sweeps, as a rating stunt, to titillate men and to make people talk. A gay character, how shocking! (Because it is a big shock to love someone.)Most of the time, gay characters don't have much screentime. Most of the time, they are the only gay character on the show, and their lover is a guest star who get few screentime and no storyline of their own. Most of the time, they are not allowed to kiss on screen (or, if they do, it is shot to hide them a bit), less alone by shown in bed. How many honest gay/lesbian storylines are there on tv these days? I can answer for you: there are not that much.

CC | May 9, 2008 9:44:21 AM | #

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I thought the two actors portraying the soldiers were wonderful. So many emotions expressed with their eyes without a word being said. Their kiss was achingly beautiful. I didn't care that they were two men--love and passion and heartache are the same for anyone. If anything my heart broke for them more so because they were gay and having to hide their true identity and feeling. How can you not feel the same?

the kiss was beautiful | May 9, 2008 10:31:27 AM | #

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There goes that "Agenda" as in Gay Agenda being thrown out. What is the Gay Agenda? Why has no one told me what or where it is. Am I late to something? Maybe my free toaster!

Scott | May 9, 2008 10:49:42 AM | #

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I think it was a grand episode. I only wish we could see all - the 66 minutes Shonda and Betsy we're talking about in last weeks podcast cos i think there's so much to say 'bout Cristina. I really loved her performance this ep. I wish Hahn could just let her off the freakin' hook. Amazing hour. Can't wait for the DVD to see the 24 min. they cut.

Patrick | May 9, 2008 11:27:33 AM | #

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Wow!!! What a diversity of opinions here. Without judging any of them, I always remember the Sandra Bullock movie " A Time to Kill". The court room scene with Matthew McConaughey where he is making his closing arguments. He asks the jury to close their eyes as he leads them through what must have happened to this young child. He explicity takes them down a vivid experience to put them in the shoes of this child and what it must have been like. And then the clincher. In order to break them of their prejudices and preconceived beliefs and attitudes he says" And now imagine the child is white". ( She was a black child in Alabama or the Carolinas or somewhere.)That was it. Taking the color out of the issue and the jury votes to convict.

So if I did the same thing and set up the same storyline without telling you the sexes of the two people involved--would the kiss have been ok??? If you answer no, then you are just showing your prejudices which is weird as Catholics or Christians who are taught to love one another in church on Sunday yet they will denounce and deride you on MOnday through Saturday. Love to me between a man and woman, a woman and a woman or a man and a man--is still love isn't it?? And to be honest love is all there is and should be celebrated over hate anyday. Too much hate out there and the comments from some here and have shown that. Especially the ones who say something and add "But I'm not homophobic". You need to look at yourself really hard people--subtle acts of intolerance shine through. Is this what you really believe--because the reality is that all kinds of people exist. You are not the only one and your views are not the only views. In my opinion, all views that take us away from love are based on fear and hate. No matter how much you try to defend it. If it's based in love--it is what it is--and doesn't need defending.

Geoffrey | May 9, 2008 11:40:07 AM | #

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I find that often when people feel the need to make disclaimers about themselves, they are actually proclaiming themselves to be the very thing they deny.

Siansonea | May 9, 2008 12:34:15 PM | #

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Personally, I love Alex and Rebecca/Ava together and I don't think she is the coniving witch that other people do. She and Alex belong together. I love how Alex took care of Ava last season and that he did go back for her but she was gone. I am not an Alex and Izzie fan at all.

Shan | May 9, 2008 12:44:08 PM | #

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Children have no business watching this show - it's a show FOR adults in an adult time slot, so if you had to explain something to your children that made you uncomfortable, monitor their viewing.

The kiss was very sweet and while it's still a little shocking to see a kiss between men, we all need to get used to it. It's a part of life, just as kissing between a male/female couple. Sometimes THOSE kisses are shocking and uncomfortable.

I'm irritated at Callie's little girl attitude about the whole thing with Hahn. I can't quite figure out what SHE thinks she's after, but the fact that she'd go into the closet and demand "Sex, NOW" from McSteamy plus the way she talked to Hahn, really lowered her in my opinion.

Sandra Oh is wonderful - I'd forgotten how little we actually get to SEE of her.

Jan | May 9, 2008 2:31:34 PM | #

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Marie,

You can't push an agenda unless you use the gays or the Christians to say something political, moral...whatever. You apparently are using that off button entirely too much. Most of the portrayals of gays and lesbians on television are stereotypical and hurtful and do nothing to better the outlook of their society. Why do you think that Will and Jack were so utterly neutered and sexless? The only way that American society will stomach a gay man on television is if he has no sex, shows no affection and interacts more comfortably with his hetero, female hag than he does with his gay conterparts. It seems however that its a no win situation. Grey's, one of the rare shows that actually handled a gay storyline with consideration and treated it with the same respect that any good show would, still is condemned for pushing an agenda, despite the fact that no agenda, political, moral or otherwise, was pushed. They showed two men in love just as they would have any other couple in love on TV.

You can say all you want that you don't judge, but that's a lie. I'm not mounting an attack on you, but anyone who can watch Derek and Meredith or Whore and whatever nurse he's screwing kiss or share a bed but WHO CANNOT watch two men kiss as well is JUDGING. Turning the television off in this instance and not every other similar but HETERO instance is an act of judgment. If you can't see that, then I don't know what to tell you.

All that said, I do agree that Christians are not portrayed well on television and I know many Christians who don't judge and who accept everyone as they should. What we generally see on TV is the extreme of religion because that's what we see most in the news and media. The loudest part of the group is usually the most represented on TV inspite of the fact that they don't necessarily represent the largest portion of the actual group. I'm not sure, however, if I empathize with you all that much. You see yourself as misrepresented and maybe neglected by network TV but you wish for the same of another very neglected and misrepresented group of people. You can tell me I hate, but I think that I'm just calling it like I see it. You could be a lovely woman for all I know, but your intolerance is apparent, no matter what you might say otherwise.

Michael | May 9, 2008 3:10:05 PM | #

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Geoffrey,

Loved the post. I was raised Catholic, but stopped practicing it when I was permitted to make my own choice in that regard. Even when I was younger, I always noticed that the religion was filled with contradictions and that the practioners of it were what I call "Sunday Catholics"...they sat in their pews, singing the hymns more loudly than others and praising god all sermon long with their "amens", but as soon as the mass let out, they reverted and judged and hated and forgot all that they were taught in the mass. Plus, I find it a little creepy and insulting and almost inhumane that millions of people will put their faith into something they can't see and follow faithfully a MAN-MADE document all while they ridicule and hate all things aberrant around them. My mother and father disowned my gay brother, who is probably the most beautiful person I've ever known. He goes out of his way to help and love others. He's simply extraordinary and a better person than I will ever be. They disowned him, despite the fact that he's done more good than all of his siblings combined. They disowned him, because of a document, despite the VERY AMPLE evidence he provides them of his love and goodness. The problem with religion isn't necessarily the religion itself. I find fault with many of those who practice it blindly and without consideration of our reality.

Sorry, I ranted. Thanks for that post though. I agree with you completely.

Michael | May 9, 2008 3:17:46 PM | #

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i really think this poster said it best who wrote "the kiss was achingly beautiful and didn't care that they were two men--love and passion and heartache are the same for anyone."

IMHO, that kiss was the best kiss i've seen on tv i think EVER! i could feel all the pain and love and joy and longing in that kiss. and it was only afterward that i thought, wow i don't think i ever saw gay people kiss like that on network tv. but i definitely didn't feel it was there for shock value. and then as Lisa writes who wouldn't want to be kissed like that!

p.s. i am a straight female.

dl | May 9, 2008 3:24:59 PM | #

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Lisa, your review quite long to read this week! and i don't quite agree with you about Rose when Sloane said those (awful) things to her. i think the point was she knew in a way he was right about it. her face showed it at the time, and it was further shown to be true by the way she slept with Derek right after that. does anyone else think that as well?

about the storylines, i like Meredith in therapy. and please just get rid of the whole Ava thing, at this point it's just a distraction. but liking Alex's character more and more.

to me, overall the show seems more back on track this season.

one more thing, anyone catch the writer's nod to Katherine Heigl's movie when Alex used the line "KNOCKED UP" in something he said to her.

dl | May 9, 2008 3:38:28 PM | #

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Hey Michael,

Thanks for your supportive post. I was raised Jewish and went to Hebrew school and was one of two Jewish students in my class. Ridicule and prejudice abounded as I grew up because I was different. That's not why I left the synagogue. I left because I grew into maturity and went to college--educated people from all levels didn't seem to care about my religion. So over the years I tried to go back to the synagogue and even joined the gay synagogue in Manhattan for a bit--however even this went against my grain as I found that religion and even gay religion(HMMM!!!! YOu know what I mean!!! LOL!!!) tended to separate whereas I always felt that I wanted to include. So I actually now am more of a spiritual person who celebrates all people, all religions and all views(as long as it doesn't include harm and murder, etc.) When I came out to my parents back in the 80's, I thought for sure they would disown me. AFter all, it was the time of AIDS beginning and except for SOAP--you never saw a gay person on TV let alone a nonstereotypical gay person. My mother was shocked however never blinked an eye and said from that day forth(like she always said) that she could no sooner disown me then she could my sister or brother or her sisters or brothers. She was ahead of her time as Judaism is just as bad in their thoughts about homosexuality as Christianity. My father who found out I was gay--from my own mouth accidentally--never talked about it however accepts me fully. And this is from a WWII vet who was at and survived D-Day!!! I used to say my father was John Wayne reincarnated however as he aged he mellowed a lot and is a really sweet guy.
Personally, I enjoyed last night's episode of Grey's. I knew instantly that DArren and Todd were lovers(must be my gaydar). Feelings and relationships are the same and it was pictured last night in a very realistic manner. Gay or straight people--we all want the same things. A good job, lower gas prices, a good home, love and a partner. The object of that love may be a little different and the spirit may reside in a man for me--however I am the same as you in what I want and how I feel basically. To any one who doesn't see that--all I can say is--look deeply. Because you must be separating yourself from the source--G-d--to who we are connected and one under his/her eyes. Thanks again Michael. Sorry for my rantings.

Geoffrey | May 9, 2008 4:18:23 PM | #

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How is it that whenever anyone has a problem with a gay portrayal on television or gay marriage in general, they are automatically labeled homophobic? It's kinda the same when all those opposed to Barak Obama or affirmative action are labeled racist. It's flat out ridiculous. I have no problem with a gay couple on television, but when the military is dragged into it, then it becomes an issue. There are very good reasons why personal lives are separated from professional military lives, most of which the non-military crowd will never understand. So just can it before you start throwing around the homophobic label again.

Pat | May 9, 2008 4:23:43 PM | #

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I really don't care what you haters out there have to say. I thought that kiss between the two soldiers were unbelievably beautiful. I could not turn away, and I'm a straight woman. All their passion and love for each other was so clearly expressed in that one moment, which is more than what I can say for heterosexual marriages these days, what with all the divorces happening in every turn. A love like that should be embraced and cherished no matter if it is between a man and a woman or couples of the same sex. I cried during the scene when Todd kissed Darren goodbye at the end. For those who were not affected by their love, you are just heartless.

| May 9, 2008 5:26:53 PM | #

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I really don't care what you haters out there have to say. I thought that kiss between the two soldiers were unbelievably beautiful. I could not turn away, and I'm a straight woman. All their passion and love for each other was so clearly expressed in that one moment, which is more than what I can say for heterosexual marriages these days, what with all the divorces happening in every turn. A love like that should be embraced and cherished no matter if it is between a man and a woman or couples of the same sex. I cried during the scene when Todd kissed Darren goodbye at the end. For those who were not affected by their love, you are just heartless.

Ally | May 9, 2008 5:27:28 PM | #

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I must say I found the KISS to be loving and passionate. Also not gratuitous(sp) to the episode that start with Meredith talking about how she wants to KISS Derek and stick her tongue down his throat everytime she sees him.

I also want to point out that everyone has there own opinion as to what or who is appropriate to KISS, but that doesnt mean we have to force our opinions on others. As an example My sons girlfriend freeks out everytime I give my son (21) a kiss on the cheek (even as a thank you for something). She was not raised with an affectionate mother. I dont try to tell her she is wrong, its her belief and in her house she wont do it, but in mine we do.
The moral of the story here is to leave each others homes and beliefs alone.

darrpub | May 9, 2008 6:25:30 PM | #

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p.s. Live and let live and then you wont be unhappy.

darrpub | May 9, 2008 6:26:47 PM | #

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Pat

That's a load of crap and you know it. As we speak, they are working on a way to allow some type of coupling within the forces while they are in Iraq. The episode also didn't allude to any mingling of duty and pleasure between the two men. It presumptious to think that men can't be out and devout in their duty to the armed forces at the same time. It's no different for gays than it is for straights. Your little rant is a poor cloak for your homophobia.

You can't be opposed to gay marriage and not homophobic because, in some way, you believe that gay men and women don't deserve the same rights as you. And, your Obama parallel was absolutely moronic. A jackass or two might claim I'm racist for supporting Hillary instead of obama, but those claims are few and far between since the candidates differ in so many ways. Try another please.

I'll can it when you give me a good reason to.

Michael | May 9, 2008 6:30:25 PM | #

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Ally, the kiss was inappropriate to the situation. I still maintain it was only put in for shock value. Think about it: if your loved one was in imminent danger of dying, would you give them a let-me-see-how-far-down-your-throat-I-can-stick-my-tongue kiss or a gentle, tender meeting of lips. Answer is obvious.

Julie | May 9, 2008 6:47:08 PM | #

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Wow Julie. I think you saw a different kiss than I did. Maybe they broadcast a different version in your area because I saw the person who misses his lover kiss and I just want to be with you and comfort you because I am going to have an operation that just may kill me kiss. I never saw the stick my tongue kiss. Didn't you see all the longing and passion between the two men in that kiss? If not, it definitely was a different version you saw. To each his--oops--her own.

Geoffrey | May 9, 2008 7:35:39 PM | #

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Julie - I guess no one has loved you they way they loved each other! If you watched the show, he gave him a tender kiss at the end.

Me | May 9, 2008 7:38:36 PM | #

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And as for shock value..If that was the case the would have promo'ed the hell out of it, not just have it added in a show that has loyal viewers already watching.

me | May 9, 2008 7:40:50 PM | #

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Great episode. This was one of my favorites this season. I'm really glad Meredith's in therapy, because I actually think she behaved appropriately for one week. Also, I agree with dl about Sloan's harsh comments to Rose, because I do think Rose was thinking about how right he was (though I'm not sure if her sleeping with Derek happened after that - I assumed it had happened before but she was hiding it). And Callie WAS a little out of character this week with the "Sex NOW" line, but it was really in typical Grey's fashion.

I was sure Christina was on the verge of quitting, and I was kinda freaking out about it, but I'm so glad she said what she did about Hahn to the Chief. Her speech was very well-written, because it wasn't a whiny 'this sucks and Hahn is mean' speech, but it really highlighted a lot of truths of her unfair situation.

Alright, I'm a little different, because I thought the relationship between the soldiers really was beautiful and I was touched, but I still looked away during the kiss. I really want to be more accepting, and I'm fine with it being on TV more, so I'm glad Grey's did the story so well. I'm only in high school though (and yeah it's a big deal in a large public school like mine), and I am Christian, but I do support the homosexual lifestyle (I have several gay friends), so it's hard for me to admit that I was still a little uncomfortable when they kissed, though I did think it was a beautiful kiss (what I saw). I think it's just that people need a chance to adjust - or maybe that's just me because I'm young and PDA wigs me out. I'm not offended that they put the kiss in, I just don't think I was prepared for it.

Sarah | May 9, 2008 8:52:42 PM | #

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Michael,

Is that the only thing you liberals can resort to: ad hominem attacks? It's absolutely ridiculous. Just because someone is against gay marriage in general does not mean he is homophobic. I guess that means most Catholics and Protestants are homophobic. Way to paint the homophobic brush over the wide spectrum of religion. That just proves how ignorant you are. As for the military thing, nobody has any problem with allowing gays in the military. As long as they serve faithfully and don't introduce it into their service then they are fine. As for bashing the military Michael which we all know you guys love to do: you have no clue what you are talking about. You never served in the military, so keep my trap closed before you make yourself look more foolish.

Pat | May 9, 2008 8:55:04 PM | #

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Michael,

Is that the only thing you liberals can resort to: ad hominem attacks? It's absolutely ridiculous. Just because someone is against gay marriage in general does not mean he is homophobic. I guess that means most Catholics and Protestants are homophobic. Way to paint the homophobic brush over the wide spectrum of religion. That just proves how ignorant you are. As for the military thing, nobody has any problem with allowing gays in the military. As long as they serve faithfully and don't introduce it into their service then they are fine. As for bashing the military Michael which we all know you guys love to do: you have no clue what you are talking about. You never served in the military, so keep the trap closed before you make yourself look more foolish.

Pat | May 9, 2008 8:55:17 PM | #

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I guess I've been watching Brothers & Sisters too much because I didn't even think twice about "the kiss". It seemed perfectly appropriate for the scene, and I think I would have noticed it more if it had been omitted.

Kris | May 9, 2008 9:05:15 PM | #

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Another stright woman...the heartwarming and touching kiss was the OPPOSITE of shock value. It was showing the love these two men shared and how much it was hurting them not to be able to admit it. In other words, a blatant Mer/Der parallel. Are Mer/Der passionate kisses done for shock value??

At any rate, it was very well done and so sad that he died. I thought Todd's reaction when he saw the Dad's face and just knew was heartbreaking.

Jill | May 9, 2008 10:05:33 PM | #

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Hmmm...I draw ad hominem attacks and you create egregiously inaccurate parallels.

One can't wish to deny another of a basic right afforded to everyone in this country without being in some way afraid of what they will do with that right. Anyone who disagrees with gay marriage is, in some way, homophobic. There's no other way around it. Sorry.

My father served in Desert Storm. My grandfather in Vietnam. I didn't bash the armed forces, I was criticizing your ignorant attack on anyone who had an opinion about the subject.

Me foolish...I can't help but notice your anti-war generalization of the attacking gays, something very unfounded.

In any case, live happy and free in your blue state, prick. I'm out.

Michael | May 10, 2008 12:41:56 PM | #

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I think this may have been the best episode of the season thus far. The old magic was back and I totally think that the gay soldier story was wonderfully told. I do, however, disagree with the turning to Callie [it feels like a stunt]

THall | May 10, 2008 4:25:19 PM | #

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Loved the episode and Ellen Pompeo and Sandra Oh in particular shined. Still cannot for the life of me tell why Grey's takes up time with unneeded characters though. Take for example Ava and Rose, both characters completely not needed and in light of Rhimes saying Derek and Mer would be together for good, watching the Rose character needlessly take up time that characters like Alex, Meredith and Christina can have is just uncalled for. Get rid of the bulk already and let us have back the characters we love. The writing for Rose is beyond poor. Tell me, what nurse does not know the definition of "sex" Apparently Rose who seems to know what "heavy petting" is though. Horrid dialog, and insane that she is still a part of this wonderful show.

Claire | May 10, 2008 5:08:45 PM | #

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I never actually post on these blogs, but I can't help feeling like I'd like to contribute to the discussion.

I thought Cristina's speech at the end of the episode was. in. cred. ib. le. Mostly because she turned her face away from the Chief and Adele when she shed a tear. Then she excused herself. It was heartbreaking.

Something else that worries me is that Meredith's therapist said she only had 20 sessions from her insurance. Which doesn't really mean anything for this season, but I hope she'll continue counseling next season. She needs it desperately.

I also think that Alex being with Ava is a good thing, ONLY because he needs to grow up a little. He needs to stop being so angry and rough about everything and become the guy we all know he can become. The way he spoke to those 2 kids when he was treating their mom...I know he can be like that more than every 4th episode.

I feel terrible for Rose. But I also think she knows what's coming. She saw it when McDreamy was like...I have to stay here tonight. Bad. News.

And finally, the kiss. I have to say I didn't expect it to happen. But when it did, I teared up. As a straight lady, I saw pain and sadness and fear and love and passion in that kiss. I really did. And then when I saw Meredith, it was like...I could tell by the look on her face that she felt it too. And it made me happy for them, but sad for them at the same time. To finally find someone you love so completely that you would abandon everything for, but to know that this person not only is in danger of losing his life in a matter of days, but that you can't even be together while your father is in the room. It was heartbreaking.

I'm sure that it wasn't for everyone, but in my opinion, it was very well written and extremely well acted.

Casey | May 10, 2008 7:53:37 PM | #

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Pat&Michael, it doesn't sound as if either is homophobic or against our troops, perhaps simply differing in the def. of marriage(which doesn't make you homophobic). Either way, whatever you all believe it certainly doesn't need to start a verbal (written?) fight in the comments for a tv show. Everyone has different views about something, we just need to learn to respect the other person's views.

Now for Grey's Anatomy, the episode was better than the past post-strike, however I wouldn't jump to say among the best. Didn't catch how that Heart-illness Lady was all a sudden able to have her kids with her, but whatever, the connection w/Alex's plot was pretty good. More Cristina! Bailey was great as always.

Meredith's patient, the soldier subplot, was poignant. The kiss was moving, yet sad because it would be their last. Can't ever recall a subplot involving a gay soldier in any tv show (there most have been others, right?). Rating stunt? Maybe, but either way this was the core of the episode and it worked well.

That being said I do not want Hahn/Callie relationship to become sexual because of several reasons (none homophobic, but rather character/plot purposes) it would've been out of character for Callie, ruined the friendship they both desperately need, and take away that strong friendship between the "outsiders" (similar to Addison/Callie of the past - which worked great).

This season has definately been wilting compared to Grey's at it's best, though the past 2 epis. have been good. None of the epis. seem particularily rememorable (cept Crash Into Me). The coming season finale really needs to set up a driving plot for next season and that doesn't mean more mixed signals from Derek/Meredith, we know they're going to be together. Sorry, Rose.

MH | May 11, 2008 1:37:39 AM | #

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I don't care if the scene was between a man and a woman or a man and a man, the bottomline is that the two actors acted the crap out of that scene. The emotion and intensity was palpable and heartwrenching. I personally thought it was all the more moving BECAUSE it was portrayed as a story between two men.

Leslie | May 12, 2008 12:21:15 AM | #

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Out of the mouths of babes! Thank you Sarah for putting into words what a lot of people feel! I have a lot of gay male friends too and I fully support their lifestyle but up until I saw Kevin kiss Robert's brother in the pantry on Brothers and Sisters I couldn't watch two men kissing either. I wasn't used to it and I'm a lot older than Sarah, so I can understand how some people are wigged out by the kiss. But as Sarah infers the more kisses appear on TV the more we'll get used to it but it is still a shock when you're not used to it. The same thing used to be said when mixed race people kissed on TV too but now hardly anyone turns a hair about that. It all takes time.
I still found watching that kiss uncomfortable but I'm glad it was in there - it was a beautifully sad storyline and I cried at the end. It showed how people are held to ransom for their own lives. All the homophobes should think about how they would feel if their lives were at an end and they were denied seeing and touching the person they loved - I think Grey's was trying to show that by showing the juxtaposition of the lady in total isolation whilst waiting for a heart transplant. She was going crazy because she couldn't touch her family and everyone felt for her - that soldier must have felt exactly the same but he's not getting the same amount of sympathy and he died - think about that before you start judging people. No-one deserves to die without saying goodbye to their loved ones. Even deathrow criminals get that right.

After he's done boning his wife, the Chief needs to have a word with Hahn. Seattle Grace is a teaching hospital and she's not doing her job by Christina. Another one judging things that aren't her business. I thought Christina was going to quit too but I'm glad she hasn't - aother Emmy winning speech by her.
I don't think the Chief was insulting Bailey he was just trying to say that it was noted that she'd never involved herself with all the bonking the others indulged in by acting like the professional she was and she was happily married during most of the shenanigans. But I loved it when she clocked the Chief and still called him Sir, then later on she clocked Sloan and delivered that great speech to the whining nurses. She's quite right - they all knew what Sloane was like so they've only themselves to blame!
Can it be long before a musical version of Greys is on hand? Christina's got great pipes.
Finally, poor Lexie being forgotten about by Alex was absolutely priceless - I'd kill anyone who did that to me!!
By the way who's looking after her alcoholic father now she's moved in with George?!

Sirius | May 12, 2008 5:03:00 AM | #

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Best Show this year I think. Kiss or no Kiss, that storyline made me think. I never thought how hard it must be for gay men and women living today. If I had died w/o my wife being there..OMG..not to see her or hold her hand one last time. It really opened my eyes. Time for us to let it go. We are all one!

Ray | May 12, 2008 5:54:04 AM | #

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I'm soooo tired of all the poeple complaining about Grey's anatomy. It's the best show on TV. Makes me laugh out loud and cry like a baby. This episode was genius and I applaud the writers for putting a gay storyline that really worked.

Izzie has never been annoying to me. She's as real and complicated as it gets. Kat Heigl plays her perfectly and deserved her Emmy.

One thing I hated about that show was Isaiah Washington. I just love how they made him the bad guy. Even when he's not around anymore. Washington must be really mad right now and that kinda makes me happy. He wants to sue the show because they used a pic of him...LMAO

And this is the first recap I read in a while that doesn't trash the show like it's the freaking Hills on MTV.

Grey's anatomy was is and will be my favorite show until the end...no matter what

BTW, this season of House sucks, bring back Cameron and Chase. My god, they went from main characters to walk-on role. That makes me sooo mad.

I have to admit tho, I'm a little reconciled with the show after tonight's cliffhanger!!! Never saw that one coming...

David | May 12, 2008 10:07:05 PM | #

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