Photos
Video
RSSFinalewatch: 'The Bachelor: London Calling'
Well, folks, this is it. The Most Romantic Something in the History of Stuff. Or Something. Clap your hands if you believe in love, The Bachelor! Oh, come on, Matt. Clap your damn hands.
Tonight, Matt is going to take Chelsea and Shayne home to his parents, and they're going to be mortified that he is doing something like this in the first place. Oh, no, they're going to be thrilled to welcome an American blue blood like either one of these "ladies" into their family. First, Matt has his London date with Chelsea, about whom he has concerns. She attempts to allay these concerns by chewing his face off. Oh god, that was kissing?? By kissing him passionately, then. Matt brings Chelsea to meet his brother Simon and his parents. The Grants' house is absolutely lovely, and the family seems genuine and sweet. Chelsea is able to impress Simon by correctly translating "wellies" as "rain boots." She's a freaking rocket scientist. Mrs. Grant just feels like she doesn't know Chelsea at all, which...well, she's a smart woman, and she seems just mortified that her youngest has put her in this situation. At the end of the date he tells Chelsea that "he loves....being with her." Ouch.
The next day, Matt talks about Shayne's upcoming "uphill struggle" living up to his family's feelings about Chelsea. He and Shayne take a double-decker bus to his parents' home; Shayne has brought them a bottle of wine, indicating much better manners than Chelsea's. Simon is concerned about Shayne's bleach-blondness, while Mr. Grant seems more worried about her age. But Shayne seems to win them over with her self-deprecating sense of humor and genuine warmth. Shayne discusses her parents' divorce with Mrs. Grant and seems to win her over as well, up to a point.
Back in Barbados, Matt and a blindfolded Chelsea go up in a helicopter to a private beach, where they lie and talk about their alleged future together. That night, at the hotel, Chelsea presents Matt with a "California survival kit" including surf wax; hasn't Matt already made it clear that he's going to stay in London no matter who he ends up with? She tells him that she's falling in love with him, and he says that he is falling in love with her as well. I can't watch this woman kiss anyone ever again. She just gnaws on Matt's face. It's distressing.
The next morning, he meets with Shayne, and they go out parasailing. Shayne jokes that if she dies, she hopes Matt and Chelsea will be very happy together. Heh. Back at the hotel, she curls up on his lap and tells him she has a present for him, and that it's the best present that she will ever give him: a picture of her writing "I love you" in the sand. I mean, she's adorable and all, but shouldn't she have written "I love Matt"? Couldn't she just give that picture to every guy she dates? I digress.
Waves crash against rocks! Thoughts crash against Matt's brain! He's in love with two women! A limo deposits Chelsea, and Chris walks her to a garden where Matt is waiting for her. He kisses her on both cheeks and compliments her dress. He tells her that he feels like he can't give her everything she needs. Oh, it's not her, it's him! He actually says "I'm sorry you're not the one." OUCH, Matt. Ouch. And then Chelsea goes off on Shayne and calls her "the fakest girl here," and Matt tells her in no uncertain terms that that is his wife you're talking about here, ma'am!
Shayne's limo pulls up, and Chris escorts her to where Matt awaits her with the final rose. Aw. He hides the rose and explains to her that the only reason it took so long for him to tell her he wanted to be with her forever that he was looking for a catch, and he never found one with her. He kneels, tells her he loves her, and says "monkey, will you marry me?" Aw. She accepts on the condition that he never looks at another woman again. Good luck with that, Mrs. Grant.
Well, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, or vice versa. Next week, please join me as I explore the distaff side of exploitation on 'The Bachelorette'. Until then, say your prayers for Matt and Shayne. Xoxo...
Post a comment
Zap2it Twitter Talk 
Matt, you picked the right girl. I could see it from the start. May you have a lifetime of happiness and lots of beautiful babies! Blessings to you both. I am SOOO happy tonight!
So, where are the happy couple today? It doesn't say much for the man,does it, that he wants a 'monkey' for a life partner. And so he chooses a 22 year old 'wanna be' who is gaudy, spoiled, immature, insecure and certainly projects as one with no substantial thought in her brain. I feel kind of sorry for her. I do believe she was sincere. I wonder how long it will take him to get tired of the clinging monkey in favor of someone his own age, maturity and experience. Why I ever watch these loser shows, I will never know... Maybe it is my head that needs to be examined.
The ending is great. They have great chemistry together. I could see that from the second episode. :) Eventhough Shayne is young, but her personality seems very mature. I think they're a great fit together. I'm glad it's a happy ending.
I had a feeling that it was Shayne's hand and wrist bracelet that I saw in the preview trailers, and couldn't be happier for the couple. They really seem to compliment each other. Though the program does bring different people together, it is commitment that keeps them together. And I hope that the "pond" will not be a hinderance for Shayne and Matt. Best Wishes!
I had a feeling that it was Shayne's hand and wrist bracelet that I saw in the preview trailers, and couldn't be happier for the couple. They really seem to compliment each other. Though the program does bring different people together, it is commitment that keeps them together. And I hope that the "pond" will not be a hinderance for Shayne and Matt. Best Wishes!
The ending positively reeked of horrible soap opera acting. Something about these two just screams "fake fake fake."
I am sorry to see that Matt does not see thru the "acting" of Shayne. There is no way she is ever going to move and stay out of the "hollywood lights". FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.... but a pretty good actress.
After the initial hurt goes away Chelsea should count herself as lucky she didn't win - who the heck would want someone that has been sucking the lips off someone else just as intently as he was her. The kissing and all gets pretty disgusting....I personally don't need to see the spit swapping like they do. Are the parents really proud of their daughters/son... ughhhhhhhh
i screamed to the top of my lungs.... i was so happy. i actually don't care if they stay or not 2gether, if she is fake or not i am here for the entertainment. i got entertained and the one i wanted was chosen. not beacause she is fake but there is something about chelsea i had a hard time with everytime. she did not come natural to me...see ya all and thx for this blog was fun....
I was 100per cent certain Shayne would be picked. She has more substance, personality and maturity. This was easy.This was the best ending of all the Batchelors. I could really see them as a great match. Shayne is charming and honest, more depth than Chelsea.