Tonight's Paradise Hotel 2 left me giddy as a busful of schoolgirls who have been force-fed pixie sticks and exposed to baskets of puppies and kittens while listening to boy bands. No, it's not because we now know the winner, or that we discovered the "ultimate prize," or that we got to hear countless self-serving arguments about why one person is awesome and all other people suck. No, it's because the show is over, and I'm finally free. Free! FREEEEEEEEE!

Two spoilers from Paradise.

The final two discuss how awkward last night was -- Everyone was so MEAN! "It's like their egos are shot!" muses Stephanie. Egos? On a reality show about drunken narcissists? Really?

The finalists learn that they'll make their cases to the jury, and the jury will be able to ask them questions. The jury being made up of a bunch of bitter kicked-off contestants, the questions are ugly.

Myrna asks Zack why he was MEAN TO HER. Krista asks TD why she was MEAN TO HER. James asks Steph if she's a slut, and if so, why she didn't sleep with him. Mike asks TD why she was MEAN TO HIM, and why she forced Ryan to be MEAN TO HIM. Lauren reminds everyone that people were MEAN TO HER. I fail to care about any of it.

Curiously, Chris and Aaron don't get to ask their questions. Perhaps they weren't sufficiently self involved to ask MEAN TO ME questions, and therefore the editors kindly cut them for thematic reasons.

Then it's time for the speeches. Allow me to paraphrase:

Zack: Blah blah blah... I kept my commitments, blah blah blah. If you respect someone you honor they commitment to blah blah, if I keep saying "commitment" and "respect" enough, maybe you'll remember that Ryan screwed you over, ok?

Stephanie: Blah blah this experience was so awesome, you're all awesome, let me tell you about how awesome you are, and wasn't this awesome? Awesome!

TD: You had  your minds made up when you came here. I lived with you guys, you know me, take it or leave it. I speak my mind, screw you. I don't feel like I should feel guilty. Wah! I gotta be meeeeeeeee!

Ryan:  Mike, Krista -- last night's decision was about competition -- I compared you to my friends, who would have just dealt with it instead of being crybabies. THEY would respect me, even if you won't. Forgive me, get over it, I want to party with all of you.

Amanda asks the jury to vote and the count comes out three for TD and Ryan, four for Stephanie and Zach. Stephanie and Zach win! Let's go home!

Oh, wait, there's a twist -- how shocking! Ryan and TD get to choose one person to get "the ultimate prize." After some deliberation, they choose Zack. Great, he won, thank you and good night!

Except... there's one more twist. Zack finds out that the "Ultimate Prize" is $200,000 (which doesn't sound terribly "ultimate" to me), and that hw now has a choice: He can keep the whole amount, or he can split it with one or two other people/ Would he like to think about it?

Another commercial, another drawn out pause, and finally Zack comes out with it. He decided to share the money: TD gets $20,000, and Stephanie gets $90,000. Zack keeps the remaining $90,000. Everyone claps and applauds and ooohs and ahhs about how awesome Zack is, and the show was, and dear god, it's finally, finally over! Hooray!

Comments

I love the fact that zack won. He's shown us he's become a man

YAY | May 20, 2008 9:38:58 AM | #

---

Your recaps are so much better than the actual show. Fox Reality should hire you!

Brian | May 20, 2008 10:45:03 AM | #

---

I watched the first season of this show. Your recaps of this season has been great. I watched one episode just so that I could visualize. Thanks for your hard work - it is appreciated.

Sara | May 20, 2008 11:38:19 AM | #

---

Season 3 I hope.

Grimm | May 20, 2008 12:26:38 PM | #

---

Does anyone know who voted for who?

Buck | May 20, 2008 12:48:03 PM | #

---

thats what i want to know how the vote went...my guess is

mike-ryan & td
krista-ryan & td
lauren-ryan & td
chris-zach & steph
aaron-zach & steph
james-zach & steph
b!tch-zach & steph

Zach should have kept the money...how do you give $120,000 away to ppl you barely know when you can help family...

if you saw PH1 charla didnt not share the money and i was mad she didnt but not that i think about it why should she...and dave deserved it more then these two girl because the show was much longer and they were together from the beginning...but even so you owe more to you family then someone from a show

Linda | May 20, 2008 1:15:49 PM | #

---

sorry i mean give away $110,000 not $120,000

Linda | May 20, 2008 1:16:52 PM | #

---

well chalk that show up to one annoying guilty pleasure, I kept asking myself, why am I watching this, but I kept watching. So if they bother w/ a PH3 I hope they go back to the format to where the contestants pick who their new guests are going to be by picking from a couple people who plead their case to get on the show. I think it made for some more interesting contestants whereas this season they were all handpicked by the producers who's qualifications seemed to stop at how said contestants looked in (or out) of a swimsuit. Sure on a show like this you want some eye candy, but it doesn't hurt to have at least some players that have a couple of brain cells to rub together either. On PH1 you actually had some contestants that were good at the whole wheeling and dealing, scheming and coniving which made it more fun. On this one it was pretty much all: Watch the pretty people party and then start yelling at each other when they drink too much. Anyone that actually seemed to try to play the game usually ended up tripping themselves up and looking stupid, like I said having someone w/ a couple braincells wouldn't have hurt. This is probably why Zack won, not the brightest bulb to be sure, but he at least had the experience of being the grande idiot from last season and learned from that show on how not to win. Anyway if they do #3 i'm making myself a promise that i'll watch the first three or four and if it looks like it's going to be more like season #2 rather than #1 than i'm done and won't bother w/ this show anymore. Of course it's possible that this show got such terrible ratings (I really have no idea how low or high they were) that maybe it won't come back anyway. Then again just how high a rating do you need on Fox Reality and/or MyNetwork TV to be one of the highest rated shows on those networks and get renewed anyway? Not too high i'd guess. Well I saved up for the whole season before posting anything, so now that i've got a whole season's worth of ranting and rambling done, cya for next season (or not).

2or3 | May 21, 2008 6:18:41 AM | #

---

I have to say that I was not a big fan of Zack's bullying tactics during PH1 so it was refreshing to see him return a more mature and humbled person.

Melissa | May 21, 2008 2:41:51 PM | #

---

do you zach n steph will stay close?

kym | May 22, 2008 9:18:20 PM | #

---

be nice to see people (young) even after money has been dispersed still stay together......LOVE!!! Would be inspiring!

kym | May 22, 2008 9:20:30 PM | #

---

Im wondering what happened with mike and Tanya??? Are they still together??

Tina | May 22, 2008 10:32:37 PM | #

---

Well there's the reunion show on this monday, hopefully those questions will be answered.

2or3 | May 23, 2008 7:25:44 AM | #

---

what is zach's last name?

busgirl | May 27, 2008 8:00:28 AM | #

---

Well the reunion show was actually better than many eps this season! *L* And the answer to whether Mike and Tanya are still together turned out to be, well not really because they live in different areas but they have gotten together a couple times for some "fingerpainting".

2or3 | May 28, 2008 6:59:49 AM | #

---

I just watched my recorded last episodes of Paradise Hotel 2. I can not stand the sight of Myrna. Ugh. She is one ugly person. The way she rolls her eyes as she makes no sense. I hope she learned something from watching herself on the show. How everyone hated her stuck up attitude & concided appearance.

Nadine | Jun 23, 2008 8:59:19 AM | #

---

Post a comment

Name:
Email Address:	optional
URL:	optional
Comments: