Happy Mother's Day, everyone! And get ready to celebrate it in style with some of the most dysfunctional mothers on television: the ladies of Wisteria Lane. Tonight on Desperate Housewives we've got real mothers, fake mothers, new mothers, grandmothers, and bad mothers. Unfortunately for the children of Wisteria Lane, not too many good mothers spring to mind. Hmm. With another big jump ahead for the mystery, tonight's episode regained some of the show's lost momentum. However, other poorly thought-out plots distracted from the main event. (Special Mother's Day spoilers ahead...)

Lynette: Wow. I guess this plot with Kayla claiming child abuse was an inevitability, but it's crossed the line into cringy-painful territory for me. I mean, Lynette has certainly done her share of infuriating things, but to make her hit a child in a crowded store? Even when that child was threatening her own children, that seems a bit out of character to me. At least, I hope it's out of character. But seriously, wow. Kayla is terrifying! That little girl should be in horror movies, or something. Looks like things are perfectly set up for Tom to leave Lynette and fall right into Edie's waiting arms. Ha, just kidding. The show wouldn't repeat itself that much...would it?

Bree: Speaking of Edie, she and Bree totally fail to have the no-holds-barred death match we've all been hoping for. For reals, I bet Bree would be deadly in a cage fight. She's got that killer instinct, you know? I bet she has razor blades tucked into her neat hairdo, just in case. Anyway, I actually kind of liked this plot, if only because it finally accomplished what I thought should have happened a long time ago: Edie's forcible separation from the other ladies of Wisteria Lane. Sure, it took her hooking up with almost all of their husbands, plus an attempted blackmail, to do it, but Edie is finally being shunned by all womankind. Side note- is Edie the worst blackmailer ever? After finding out that Benjamin is actually her great nephew and Bree's grandson, she demands...muffins and single men? Oh, Edie. Way to reach for the stars. 

Susan: This plot had me a little confused. I mean, if Mike was close enough to his mother to complain to her about every little fault Susan has, then why hadn't she and Susan met before? Like, say, in the hospital when Mike was in a coma and Susan was practically stalking him? I'm not buying it. And thus, I'm skipping over it. Mike's mom is awful to Susan, Susan is pissed at Mike for not standing up for her (and seriously, I'd be a lot more pissed about how much he shared with his mom), Susan goes into fake labor, Susan goes into real labor, voila, adorable baby. Moving on.

Gabby: And while we're discussing confusing plots, seriously?! This plot is ridiculous. So Gabby and Carlos discover that Ellie is a coke dealer, they turn her into the police like responsible citizens/parolees, and the police demand that they let her stay there, and continue to deal drugs out of their house?!?! Yeah, no way. Not even a little. I get that the police have undercover operations and all, so they might want a dealer to keep dealing, but there is NO WAY they would force ordinary citizens to harbor said drug dealer. The liability alone would be ridiculous--what if a junkie client broke in to steal her drugs and harmed Gabby or Carlos? And somehow Gabby is the most worried about lying to her new friend? This plot is absurd to the nth degree. Pick up your game, writers. Geez.

Katherine: Yes, I've saved the best for last. Revel in your genius, everyone who predicted that this was Dylan 2.0. It totally is! I'm sad to say that while I thought this was a possibility back in the beginning, I've long since assumed the mystery was far more mundane. Foolish me. Dylan is totally NOT THE REAL DYLAN! So okay, let's lay it all out: Katherine does appear to be truly afraid of Wayne. She also clearly buried the real Dylan in a secret woodland grave way back when. And she hit Wayne in the head really hard at some point. Oh, and her second husband had access to lots of babies back in Chicago. Okay, that's all I've got. Go crazy, people. What's the deal, here?

Who's the worst mother on Wisteria Lane? What the heck happened to the real Dylan?

Comments

I see Liz (blogger) is a fan of Coffy (the movie) - razor blades in her hair!

I guess we're not going to find out that Ian (Dougray Scott) is the father of Susan's kid. But I guess with all of the other pregnancy storylines - and Bree claiming Danielle's child as her own - I guess they decided that would be too much. Either that or they didn't want to give us (the viewers) another reason to compare Susan and Mike to Ross and Rachel (since that surely would've split them up again).

I don't have much to say about the Katherine storyline since it appears that they neglected that storyline too long and now they have too much to fit in in too short a period of time to give it resonance.

Rishi | May 11, 2008 8:23:48 PM | #

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Kayla needs to be punched in the mouth. She is a little bitch in a 13yo's body and needs to be kept in check. I am shocked Lynette did not slap her months ago. I hope she gets her comeuppance in the finale by a well-placed bus or something.
The Gabby story is realistic in that the police always want the big fish and not the small time dealer. Do not ask me how I know this, BTW ;)
As far as the Edie/Bree showdown goes, I think that will be in the finale--at least I hope.
I wish there was more of a buildup to the Katherine mystery and I think there would have been if not for the writer's strike. They basically had to cram 12 episodes of mystery into 7 which is why it feels forced and quick. Here's hoping Dana Delany sticks around.

| May 11, 2008 9:25:17 PM | #

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Kayla needs to be punched in the mouth. She is a little bitch in a 13yo's body and needs to be kept in check. I am shocked Lynette did not slap her months ago. I hope she gets her comeuppance in the finale by a well-placed bus or something.
The Gabby story is realistic in that the police always want the big fish and not the small time dealer. Do not ask me how I know this, BTW ;)
As far as the Edie/Bree showdown goes, I think that will be in the finale--at least I hope.
I wish there was more of a buildup to the Katherine mystery and I think there would have been if not for the writer's strike. They basically had to cram 12 episodes of mystery into 7 which is why it feels forced and quick. Here's hoping Dana Delany sticks around.

| May 11, 2008 9:25:22 PM | #

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What is wrong with Lynette that she cannot handle that little brat in her house? Lynette has handled tougher foes than this for gawd's sake!
Just tape the little brat when she's going off on one of her evil rants and stop trying to pretend that doing whatever she says is going to let her off the hook. I mean even if the brat went to the police about the twins they're not going to believe her. And doesn't Tom care about his other children? Kayla's not his only child so why is he acting as if Lynette's against his sole baby when she's trying to protect all the children? This storyline is annoying.
Hope the writer's explore more the fact that Lynette, so against smacking (remember when she told Bree off for spanking her bratty sons?)
children clocked Kayla one.
I can only assume that Gabby was thinking about her lost baby when Justine Bateman handed her flowers or else she would have seen through that load of ham!
Totally agree about Mike's Mum where has she been all this time for goodness sake? At least Mike's Dad being in prison had an excuse and can you see this woman hooking up with Mike's Dad at all?? I'm with you Liz - not buying it either! But then again, Zack's mysteriously disappeared as well so who the heck knows with this family, Julia's done a runner in this ep too!
Marc Cherry has said that one of the ladies is leading Wisteria Lane and he is/was frantically writing her out after he couldn't persuade her to stay so it could be Edie going and she's STILL not in the opening credits picture with the other ladies..
Hope it's not Dana Delany that's leaving even though she scares me I love watching her and Bree together!

Sirius | May 12, 2008 12:14:10 AM | #

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I agree with the others. Kayla vs. Lynette - I can't believe that Lynette would be manipulated by a little girl. Mike's Mum - ridiculous that she has appeared out of nowhere. Carlos/Gabby/Drug Dealer - ridiculous. Thank goodness for Bree, Edie and Katherine.

Schmooz | May 12, 2008 9:40:35 AM | #

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I tell you what we never know how much stress that cancer has put on Lynette. But I can't believe that most of you are taking that little girl side. She needed her butt beat three episodes ago when they found out she manipulated the twins. And when Tom said to her "your children" that was ridiculus.

I knew something was up with Dylon. That is not the real Dylon now whose baby did Kathryn steal.

NayNay | May 12, 2008 9:54:25 AM | #

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mike and his mama have a creepy close relationship. what man in his right mind tells his mom details of his sex life? yuck!

poor lynette, who use to be the smartest housewife and is now being played by a 13yo. tom continues to be a sack. he wasn't even concerned that kayla tried to seriously injure his boys. have you noticed that the boys are stupid like tom, while kayla is conniving and manipulative like the housewives? she's a perfect fit at wisteria lane.

tc | May 12, 2008 11:01:15 AM | #

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Poor writing on this episode especially. Ridiculous plotlines and out-of-character behavior galore.

Cynic | May 12, 2008 11:08:15 AM | #

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I feel cheated on the reveal of Ben's parentage. All this rigamarole to prevent a scandal (not to protect the Danielle or provide a stable environment for baby Ben, but scandal) and the first sign of blackmail she spills her guts. And the housewives clique is also forgiving like this is something they would do. This is a classic lazy writing to promise some future drama and fail utterly to deliver. As for Kayla, I see this as a sign of things to come with Lynette's homegrown terrors. In a few short years they'll be the same age as Kayla and no doubt equally or more so manipulative to a weak-willed mother and a disengaged father.

Talerweaver | May 12, 2008 1:33:15 PM | #

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NEXT SEASON, THE ONLY CURRENT MALE CAST MEMBERS ON IT WILL BE SHAWN PYFROM AND TUC WATKINS (THE LATTER OF WHOM DUMPS LEE AND SHACKS UP WITH ANDREW). ALL THE HUSBANDS WILL BE GONE. WHEN KAYLA DIES IN THE FINALE, TOM WILL LEAVE HER. CARLOS IS RUNNING OFF WITH ELLIE. MIKE DUMPS SUSAN WHO WILL BE MARRIED TO GALE HAROLD NEXT SEASON (HE SHOWS UP IN THE FINAL MOMENTS OF THE FINALE) AND ORSON ATTACKS BREE IN CHURCH NEXT WEEK AND WILL PROBABLY BE IN PRISON. I'VE BEEN REALLY ANNOYED AT FELICITY HUFFMAN'S CHARACTER THIS SEASON BUT NOW THAT I KNOW THEY'RE DITCHING ALL THE HUSBANDS, ALL THE MARRIAGES DISINTEGRATING MAKES SENSE. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT SEASON.

Francine Fishpaw | May 12, 2008 1:45:35 PM | #

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Francine - what's the source of your spoilers?

Soul Reaper | May 12, 2008 3:01:17 PM | #

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did Bree forget that she herself covered up a hit and run? her sonn ran down Carlo's mom who subsequently died. Where was her sense of obligation then?

Solosorjouner | May 12, 2008 4:26:10 PM | #

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Wow that Dylan twist is great. I did not see that coming. I did think that too a long time ago but it's been neglected storyline and now I forgot. Good job writers.

I understand why Gaby sees her as a friend. One she doesn't have a daughter. Two, and most importantly, she helps out with Carlos, letting her off reading magazines and not being paired up with her disabled husband. BTW, this is the reason I don't like renting rooms to people. Freaky.

Lastly it's cool they didn't show Susan's birth. Too many shows show their births and that's fine. Besides, a nice mother's day episode. Besides, that plotline about mike's mother was good because so many times son side with their moms over their wife and they don't realize it.

Kayla is really annoying me. I can't believe I want to murder a little girl. To be honest, I'm not surprise she slapped her coz she threatened to hurt her daughter and I would probably lose it. She should tell Tom the truth or carry a tape recorder around.

I miss the gay couple.

Leslie | May 12, 2008 6:30:12 PM | #

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After Elton had the stuff abut the husbands all leaving and Bob shacking up with Andrew.

This other site below has never been wrong with the DH spoilers:

http://www.spoilerfix.com/desperate.php

Francine Fishpaw | May 12, 2008 7:15:58 PM | #

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