Here's an exercise: Take a deep breath. Now let it out slowly, but with an air of defeat, like Charlie Brown after his kite's been treed.

So far this week, we saw Two and a Half Men deal with a murder, albeit in a humorous manner. You'd think, given the chance, that the swapped writers would want to try their hand at CSI's more dramatic flair. You would be, as they say, wrong.

The plot here is fairly simple, as you may expect from writers more accustomed to 30 minutes of gags. We open on Annabelle Funt (guest star Katie Segal) berating her writers and turning to white-trash husband Bud (Diedrich Bader) for support. Hey, we get it. The Men writers worked on Roseanne, hence the Roseanne and Tom Arnold comparisons. Annabelle and co-star Megan (Rachael Harris -- I weep for the amazing talent assembled for this miscarriage) shoot a take, and we segue to the star dead in her hotel room.

With, as Grissom and Assistant Coroner Dave find, has a rubber chicken stuffed down her throat.

I have to speed through the plot, honestly. Everyone from the show's creator Spencer (Stephen Tobolowsky -- so good! so wasted!) to Bud to the writers to a random street performer comes under suspicion. Oh, as does Annabelle's doppelganger Natasha (also Segal) until she's killed in a suspicious car accident. Did I mentioned Annabelle died of a blow to the head, compounded by blood thinner? And also, I'm conspicuously avoiding writing about the vodka-soaked tampons.

Seriously.

I never knew how a tampon was... inserted? applied? I do now. Sigh.

It comes down to this: Annabelle was killed during sex with the random street performer, during which she hit her head. She bled out thanks to blood thinners added to her booze by Megan, who wanted a chance to shine. Natasha died because Megan tampered with the car as a backup. And yet somehow Grissom and Brass can't find enough evidence to convince her, so she and secret lover Spencer go free.

We end with Bud cutting himself shaving and gushing Shining-level quantities. Comedy!

Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry I saw that, because I know how well CSI can do parody. Even the horror-movie homage was worlds better. Here we saw a stellar guest cast and our usual core cast wasted for a network stunt. The stunt itself wasn't the waste; it's that the guest writers refused to step up and try to write a decent murder mystery. For, you know, a murder mystery show.

What'd you think? Love the bad puns throughout this episode? Was it better than I give credit? Let us know.

Comments

Meh. It was an interesting idea, poorly executed. Some of the lines were humorous, and the fact that the murderers got away with it (and how they did so) was a semi-neat little twist. But most of the humor was fifth-grader-ish, which is pretty much what I think about the so-called humor on Two and a Half Men. I will give the comedy writers proper credit for sticking to the format of the show, including the somewhat gross explanations of certain evidence (I will now purposely avoid aisle 6 at my local grocery store if at all possible, thank you very much). What essentially killed the episode for me, though, was the idea that anybody, regardless of how pissed off they were, could shove a full-sized rubber chicken into a woman's mouth. Sure, Katey Sagal is not petite, but still...

The verdict? This reminded me of when my sixth grade TAG (talented and gifted, for what that's worth) class had to come up with an Encyclopedia Brown-style mystery that our classmates had to solve. Needless to say, without exception, they were atrocious, although we did have fun doing it. I'm sure the comedy writers had fun doing something different, but they should really stick to what they know. To paraphrase a quote by Grissom (who quoted somebody else who I don't remember--Henny Youngman, maybe?): "Dying is easy; writing an effective episode outside one's comfort zone is hard."

Dark Disciple | May 8, 2008 8:15:29 PM | #

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I actually thought it was pretty funny, although the tampon thing was a bit much, though. But what did you expect from the writers of Two and a Half Men? That whole show is based on sex and bathroom jokes.

Marge S | May 9, 2008 4:57:22 AM | #

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This episode sucked big time. Don't EVER do it again. I kept switching over to see what Grey's was doing (even though I taped it) because it was that bad.

Gail | May 9, 2008 6:56:04 AM | #

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The wife and I both thought it was really funny, but then again, we love Two and a Half Men, and their cameo with the kid smoking a cigar cracked us up. Still, I had to watch it from my DVR, as Supernatural is the best show on Television. Have a great day.

Bill B. | May 9, 2008 8:43:29 AM | #

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Two words! IT SUCKED!
lOVE 2-1/2 MEN when I have time to watch but CSI..come on folks. Not even close. So disappointing. Great actors/actresses but not for CSI and storyline well...enough said. Terrible.

lily | May 9, 2008 10:19:12 AM | #

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Two and a Half Men writers stick to Two and a Half Men. That's why I don't watch your series.

Trupen | May 9, 2008 10:49:38 AM | #

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Thanks Bill B. for the kind wishes. I'll have a laugh bubbling just below the surface all day (maybe all weekend!) 'cause of that comment about Supernatural. Too funny! :)

Ian | May 9, 2008 12:24:01 PM | #

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I have never watched Two and a Half men, because the previews for it make me sick. After watching this episode of CSI written by the writers of 2 1/2 Men I am glad that I have never watched their show. CSI stick to your own writers. To TPTB, don't ruin one of my favorite shows. By the way what is so funny about a young kid smoking a cigar?

Jen | May 9, 2008 12:31:01 PM | #

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I hope that CSI never uses another series writing staff again!

c | May 9, 2008 12:34:15 PM | #

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I thought it was entertaining and I enjoyed the change. Think of what they could do for CSI Miami!

Diane | May 9, 2008 12:47:07 PM | #

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I hope these writers will be used by the reality shows until they all go off the air!

Dan | May 9, 2008 4:25:17 PM | #

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Bad, bad, bad. Excrutiatingly bad.

Dale | May 11, 2008 9:07:49 AM | #

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