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'Top Chef: Chicago' and the tiny sous chefs
The folks on Top Chef: Chicago had to cook like mere mortals this week, which blew their minds. Some of them adapted well to time and budgetary constraints, while others seemed to be thinking "You can have my white truffle oil when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands!"
Kids don't eat spoilers.
The Quickfire challenge was quicker than usual: Prepare a healthy meal in 15 minutes. If only there were some sort of product-placed foodstuff that could make things go more quickly....
Stephanie apparently suffered a blow to the head when we weren't watching. She decides to make a scallop and rice pancake, but she doesn't actually taste it. Antonia makes an old family favorite: Rice and salad. She knows it sounds insane, but she swears we'll love it. Mark does a miso glazed turkey breast -- he tastes components, but not the dish as a whole. That doesn't sound like a good plan.
Guest chef Art Smith doesn't like Mark's dish -- it just doesn't hang together. Stephanie's pancake was a good idea, but it was heavy and the scallop was superfluous. Lisa's grilled shrimp and peppers over rice was nothing special -- it was pretty, but Smith said he felt like he'd seen it before.
Smith praised Dale's fried rice with scallops and Chinese long beans, as well as Richard's tuna steak and tomatoes with yuzu vinaigrette over rice. But it was Antonia's seemingly random combination of rice and salad that took the challenge -- Smith loved the combination of cold and hot. "You made a believer out of me," he said.
Elimination Challenge
Here's where you could start to see the chefs' brains dribble out of their ears. They had to create a simple, tasty, nutritious meal for a family of four, with a budget of only $10. Yipe!
Just about everyone swarms the poultry counter -- chicken is relatively cheap. Notable exceptions: Dale, Mark and Spike. Dale wants to show he's more than just the Asian cook, and therefore picks up turkey brats. Mark decides on a vegetarian curry, since that's what he makes for "[his] lady" when money is tight. Spike is going for a pasta puttanesca along with a carrot soup. It's Spike, of course there's a soup!
Remember what I was saying about possible head trauma with Stephanie? We get more evidence of it here: She doesn't know what she wants to do, has no clue how to cook simple or healthy food, and seems completely lost. Come on, Steph -- you're my favorite! You can do it!
At the kitchen, we meet the pint-size sous-chefs: several kids who are in a Art Smith's Common Threads culinary program. Tom Colicchio watches over the proceedings, and he's quietly freaking out over all the potential injuries. Andrew's kid wails away at the chicken paillard with a pot, and Tom flinches every time metal hits the counter. "Watch your fingers!" Spike's kid suffers a cut seconds after picking up a vegetable peeler. I'm almost shocked to see Antonia set her kid to work chopping carrots and peppers with a big chef's knife. The kid looks a bit surprised about that, too.
The judges love Nikki's one-pan roast chicken with vegetables, and praise Andrew's surprising refined chicken paillards with fennel and citrus. Who knew kids liked fennel? But it's Antonia's chicken stir fry with vegetables over whole wheat noodles that wins the challenge.
Lisa, Mark and (gasp!) Stephanie end up in the bottom three. Mark's veggie curry is too sweet, and really only features sweet potatoes as the major component. Couldn't he have sprung for a variety of veggies? Lisa's chicken with black beans and edamame is bland, which Lisa takes issue with. You told me it had to be healthy! I followed instructions! OK, but that doesn't mean it had to be tasteless. Stephanie confused the heck out of everyone with her overcooked, mushy couscous topped with a chicken in a peanut butter and tomato sauce. Um, ew.
At this point, I was terrified that Stephanie was going home -- her dish seemed so ill conceived, and the judges didn't have anything good to say about it. But it's Mark who is asked to pack up his knives and go home.
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends:
- Andrew freaks out when they announce the challenge: "How the f*ck am I going to buy dinner for four with $10? It's impossible. Impossible! It's not like I'm going to do a lobster terrine with $10!" Well, no, you're not, and that's just the point. What CAN you do that tastes good without costing a gazillion dollars?
- Once again, I'm sorry the chefs had to do their shopping at Whole Foods for this challenge. I love the store, but it's NOT someplace I go when I'm trying to stretch my budget.
- Antonia was having a roller-coaster week. She misses her kid like crazy, so seeing all the tiny chefs in the kitchen set the tear ducts flowing. But she credits all the cooking she does for -- and with -- her daughter for both of her wins.
- Stephanie, when she's introduced to her kid sous chef: "Oh, hey, you're just as tall as me." Hee!
- Lisa makes a strategic error right out of the gate. "You like garlic?" she asks her kid helper. "No," he replies. "Garlic's going in the garbage," she says. Doh! Perhaps keeping that garlic would have made her dish less bland.
- I am perversely amused that Spike decided to do Pasta Puttanesca, since it literally translates to "Pasta in the way a whore would make it."
- Nikki not only works the dish, she works in a bit of a sob story. I started cooking for myself at about age 8, she says. This roast chicken was one of the first things I ever learned to cook. The judges are impressed.
- Andrew tells us he fell prey to unhealthy food, and weighed more than 200 pounds in high school. It's difficult to picture that, since he's such a rangy, skinny, hyper guy. (In other news, I have this weird mental block where I want to call Andrew Spike. Sigh.)
- Richard has an epiphany: "The whole experience of seeing these kids, seeing Antonia cry, I want to go home and I want to make babies." Sure, why not. Just as long as you don't make a mobile of hand-held smokers to hang over the crib.
- Andrew continues to be the official hyper puppy of the show -- he nearly collapses with relief when he finds out he's in the top three.
- Mark think he knows why he's in the bottom three this time: "Tom doesn't like me... It's undercooked, it's overcooked, it's too salty, how do I make this guy happy?" Well, you could cook tasty food that actually looked good on the plate, Tom responds.
- Mark continues to wax oblivious when they criticize him for his one-note curry. There are lots of vegetarian meals out there! Sure, but put some variety in it, not just a single vegetable. My opinion? Veggie curries are made for cauliflower.
- Lisa gets defensive and obstreperous when she's called out. I'm getting really, really sick of her. Art Smith agrees: "If you're going to be a great chef, you've got to take criticism."
- Stephanie's dish gets the worst criticism: "I really detested it," says Padma. Smith agrees: "Couscous has been around for a long time, It ain't that hard to cook."
- With Mark gone, who will Spike share the bubble bath with now?
I think Stephanie was save tonight by her past performance. Her dish was the worst out of the three, but because Mark has been consistently bad the entire time, he got eliminated. Too bad, cus i would have love to see Lisa gone. Oh well, there alway the next show.
| Apr 30, 2008 11:11:38 PM | #I think Stephanie was save tonight by her past performance. Her dish was the worst out of the three, but because Mark has been consistently bad the entire time, he got eliminated. Too bad, cus i would have love to see Lisa gone. Oh well, there alway the next show.
LT | Apr 30, 2008 11:11:45 PM | #I agree with you LT. Especially on seeing Lisa go. I was ready for her to go last week. It's becoming more and more clear why Dale blew up at her. He was right on the money about her getting on one's nerves.
Sarah-It was Andrew not Spike who weighed over 200 pounds.
I felt that Mark should have been gone back when they did the football challenge this was just them correcting an error.
Oh and dear sweet god, $10 at Whole Foods? Seriously? FOR A FAMILY OF FOUR?
I'm single and I can barely eat on that there.
Francesca | Apr 30, 2008 11:58:10 PM | #The chicken alone at Whole Foods could eat up most of the $10.
ls | May 1, 2008 2:56:26 AM | #Yea, I didn't get it. Shopping at Whole Foods...for a family of 4...with those portion sizes...and I kept seeing the chefs and the kids and the help...carrying like 4 plates each to serve...uh...how'd they stretch their budget to fit that many mouths? Was it just the kid and their group eating it?
Also, it was Andrew who said he was 200lbs. not Spike.
Chris | May 1, 2008 4:24:31 AM | #I was disappointed the the top three didn't have their sous chefs with them. Wouldn't it have been great to give some awards to the top three sous chefs!!!!!
JLC | May 1, 2008 6:09:25 AM | #Fantabulous review, Sarah! You should do this for a living. Agree with co-respondents about Lisa. My word, I'm sure she freaked when she saw what her puss looks like on tv! Soooo glad fav Steph didn't get the ax--and yes, they MUST have given her some stored up karma for her excellent work. And it's very easy to mix up Andrew and Spike. It took me weeks to tell them apart :-)
Nadine | May 1, 2008 6:21:45 AM | #I like Steph but am starting to root for Antonia as well. She seems to be a very pleasant person.
I feel a lot better about Richards choices the last few weeks but I don't know if I could ever eat at his restaurant. Once again it appeared to me that he tasted food with a spoon and then immediately put the spoon back in the food. It happened right when Tom Colichio was talking to him but was edited say you could not explicitly tell if he did it or not. Still, he gives me Seinfeld-Poppy feelings (like Poppy he seems a little sloppy).
What was the deal with the flash of Andrew right at the end exclaiming. "I have a culinary erection" or something similar. Did I just dream that?
sac | May 1, 2008 6:54:05 AM | #Dammit! I ALWAYS want to call Andrew Spike, and I thought I had caught them all. Sorry for the error, it's fixed.
I agree that Stephanie was saved because she's been so good in the past, But I don't know if that will save her again, after this week's disaster.
Sac -- I completely missed the "culinary erection" comment, if it happened. Anyone else catch it? Did I just block it out because the very idea disturbs me?
Sarah | May 1, 2008 8:31:58 AM | #Well...they (Spike and Andrew) did work together on that butternut squash soup. lol!
Chris | May 1, 2008 8:35:54 AM | #And, yea, I caught that...I'm wondering if that was one of those tape editor's prank. They always have something up their sleeves that they wish to get on air. lol!
Chris | May 1, 2008 8:37:17 AM | #I'm official revoking Mark's New Zealander card. He's has just acquired too many strikes.
1) English marmite
2) Never correcting people who think he's Australian
3) Playing a didgerdoo, WTF man
4) Answering Dale's Aussie, Aussie, Aussie chant at the end of the show last night (ok it's like 2) but it's such an sin he gets an extra reprimand).
I'd ask that Mark reports to the Kiwi consulate in NYC to surrender his passport forthwith.
Matt | May 1, 2008 8:50:41 AM | #Yeah it did seem ridiculous that they had to shop at Whole Foods! I was also confused, because I thought they were going to cook for the sous-chefs' families, not a bunch of random kids. As for the winner: while I'm sure Nikki and Antonia's dishes tasted good I was rooting for my man Andrew, who had the best presentation and most originality. Go, tigga!
vncntdl | May 1, 2008 10:10:06 AM | #Matt -- Yeah, I wondered about that. It's like a Canadian acquiescing to being called an American (as in US citizen), right? Except worse? Although is there a "Kiwi, Kiwi, Kiwi!" chant? And what would be the response -- stick your tongue out like the Haka war dance at rugby matches?
(For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here. I saw NZ vs. Fiji in the Rugby 7s years ago, and while I have no clue what was going on in the game, the competing war dances were awesome and slightly terrifying. Those guys were HUGE!)
Sarah | May 1, 2008 10:21:00 AM | #sac, you weren't dreaming, I saw it too. I think Chris may be right, it was an editor's prank. Kind of like an Easter egg in that it was a little bonus, but obviously not hidden. :-)
Beth | May 1, 2008 10:32:44 AM | #Yeah, I caught the strange little post-show comment. Big "HUH?" from me.
I'm worried for my gal Stephanie. You may be right about that hit on the head! She'd been doing so well.
Did I just miss it or did the winner (Antonia) get nothing. They usually get SOME kind of prize, even if it's just a set of cookbooks.
There is no Kiwi, kiwi, kiwi chant. We have a couple of things but nothing as nationally accepted as Aussie, aussie, aussie.
Matt | May 1, 2008 2:59:52 PM | #Oh my goodness, can we please send Lisa home? She has won some challenges, so I guess she must have some talent. However, I don't think it compensates for her terrible attitude. She seems to think all of the challenges are way beneath her, and she can not take criticizm at all.
I hope Stepanie bounces back from this week. She's been doing so well, I thought she had a good shot at making it all the way. I thought it would be so lovely to see a talented chef win who is also a geniunely nice person. She seems so sweet, unlike some of her competitors. She never seems to feel the need to run down her fellow contestants, which can't be said of some of the others, who do it at every given opportunity.
Becca | May 1, 2008 8:10:04 PM | #
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