'The Biggest Loser': Fluff and frustration

Argh, this show! The Biggest Loser has moments of genuine connection and transformation, but they bury it all in two hours of filler and twists and schlock. Then, as a final indignity, they change the rules at the last minute. Grrr.

America will choose the final spoiler.

The filler was so freakin' obvious tonight --- we had two transformation videos, which turned this into a glorified clip show. Then there were the plugs, and it drives me nuts that the show itself is a brand that sells things. Remember all those cartoons in the 80's that were on the air simply to sell toys? Transformers, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, GI Joe, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite? This is worse.

There was about a half-hour of actual substance in this bloated two-hour behemoth of a show. The final four got a visit from Rocco DiSpirito, who showed them how to make significantly lighter versions of their favorite foods --- even ice cream. The lightened-up chicken alfredo looks promising.

The Challenge
Our final competitors got their very own fat suits, modeled and weighted for what they looked like and weighed when they first hit campus. They had to run down the beach in the fat suit, shed that at the end of the beach, pick up a flag and run triumphantly up a mountain to celebrate their new selves.

It's one hell of a slog for everyone to get down the beach, although Mark takes off running. Ali is funny about the flag --- at first I felt like a superhero, and then I thought dang, this thing is heavy. Kelly was asking if they could get something a little more aerodynamic. Everyone does a great job, sprinting over that last rise to plant their flags.

Mark wins the challenge, getting him a product-placed meal plan and $10,000.

The Last Chance
Bob and Jillian turn up for the last chance workout, and it's interesting to see how everyone reacts. Mark looks almost broken when Bob gets there --- I'm beat, he says. He needs a push to get through the last week.

Jillian is more revealing. She jumps out from behind a tree and sweeps Ali up into a hug, pretty much ignoring Kelly as she tries to hug, too. Poor Kelly, she's always been sort of ignored and abandoned. At the beginning, she would have wept about it, but now she just takes it in stride. I really think she's made a huge change on the show.

The Weigh-In
Look, this weigh-in was nuts. I honestly can't imagine that it's healthy for these people to be losing this much weight in a week, this far into the process. 

Roger steps up first. He's announced he wants to beat Neil's weight-loss record of 143 pounds on campus. That means he'll have to lose 15 pounds this week. No way, I scoff to myself. But he does it --- he's down 15 pounds to 219, for a total season-long weight loss of 144 pounds. That's a 6.41% weight loss this week. Holy crap.

It continues from there: Mark hits the scale and loses 12 pounds, or 6.63%. What did these guys do this week?

Things look bad for the women --- is there any way they can compete with these numbers? Yes. Ali loses 11 pound, for 7.53% of her weight this week. That's insane. Kelly loses 13 pounds, for 6.81%. What the hell did they put in the water this week?

That means both Mark and Roger are below the yellow line, and the girls are gleeful --- finally, we get to get rid of Roger, the biggest threat! We might be able to beat Mark in the final, but Roger has been an unstoppable force.

Not so fast, says Alison -- you don't get to make that call. America will vote for who will be the third finalist. Roger is the only person happy about this development. Personally, I'm pissed.

The Pitches
So now we're left with a choice: Mark or Roger? It's a puzzlement, because both men have had their moments of pissing me off beyond belief. Well, now they have a chance to make their pitch to the nation.

Roger talks about how he appreciates the opportunity, and how he wants to hug America. He's light and personable, and dammit, I think he might win it. 

Mark is actually pretty smart. He knows that the crying thing has pissed people off, and he addresses it. I've got years and years of buried emotions, and I finally have realized that I don't need to internalize and suppress and be an ass to be strong.  This experience has changed me, made me a better person, and I thank you. I flash back to Rosey Grier singing It's All Right To Cry in Free to Be You and Me. (What? I'm old.) I honestly think Mark has made a change. Then, of course, he pushes it a bit by showing pictures of his family, as if he's trying to guilt us into voting for him because he's afraid we wouldn't pick him on his own merits. Sigh.

Final thoughts:

• Ali has made incredible strides over the course of the show, and she's probably the most articulate in expressing them. "It's not about the pounds that are on your body, it's about why do you hold on to the weight, what put that weight on you, where did you give up on yourself, where did I give up on myself," she says. "Now I love me, and I think that's the difference." Jillian responds "she was lovable then, Ali, you just didn't know it." That pretty much sums it up for a hell of a lot of people.
• Kelly also gets it: "Why not me, why don't I deserve to have everything?" I hope she can hang on to that.
• Mark again talks about how much he changed, and how important it was for him to learn that it was ok to have emotions. Look, when he puts it like that, I can only be but so frustrated by all the crying. It's a good point.
• Roger is the only one who says the Biggest Loser didn't really change him or the way he thought about himself. It just made him thinner. Which is good, but I think that may mean he'll be most in danger of putting weight on again after the game is over.

What do you think of the America chooses twist? Who will you vote for between Mark and Roger? Who do you want to win? And were you wishing this was a half-hour show tonight, like I was?

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