'The Bachelor: London Calling': "#?*$ Him!"

Last week on 'The Bachelor: London Calling', Matt shocked the girls by sending Holly home, shocked Ashlee by sending her home, and shocked absolutely no one by sending Kelly after her. Six crazy, deluded, desperate spinsters remain!

Chris surprises the remaining six "ladies" with a ski trip to Sun Valley, Idaho, prompting a great deal of squealing from the assembling. Shayne, unsurprisingly, has packed for the snow - and every other eventuality - and equally unsurprisingly fancies herself a practically professional-grade skier. When the girls arrive they romp with Matt in the snow, and he reveals that he will be taking one of the girls on a one-on-one date. And it's Chelsea! She and Matt take a sleigh ride during  which she: calls Matt "buddy" twice; tells him hand-holding is her pet peeve; and tells him she's not an affectionate person by nature. Next! In an attempt to show her romantic side, she creates a faux "fantasy suite" card. Wait - is that some sort of automatic booty call card? OMG! They closed the door! That total prostitute!

Robin, Marshana, Amanda, and Shayne get a date box for a skiing date, which leaves Noelle as the final solo date. And - not that your loyal recapper has any personal favorites here - yay! Marshana and Amanda have never skied before, and Matt is really patient with her. She's pretty adorable and somehow refrains from meeping at him. Marshana falls over dramatically every time she gets up on the skis. Matt and Shayne grope each other on the ski lift before she snowboards down the mountain. Carrying lip gloss, a blush brush, and lipliner. As they make out in the snow, Robin pulls up on her snowboard, interrupting their kissing. Robin is the great interrupter. When she asks Matt why she never had a solo date with him, he tells her that it's because he already knew he had a connection with her. Nice save, Matt!

Matt picks Noelle up and takes her ice skating. They hold hands and although they both struggle they clearly have a lot of fun together. Afterwards, they adjourn in front of the fire for fondue and wine, where she reveals that she's never brought a man home to meet her parents, but that she would love to introduce him to them. They kiss, and he's officially a ho. Back at the house, Robin picks a fight with Marshana over who knows Matt better. Marshana starts in on Robin for being condescending, and Chelsea really jumps on in with two feet. Marshana starts screaming and swearing, Chelsea joins in, and Robin does her best to just keep up with the sheer level of irrational bitchitude. Shayne, for once, is level-headed and does her best to separate Chelsea and Marshana. Marshana, for her part, confessionals that she is shocked that the other girls dislike her because - and I quote! - "I am a great person. I am nice, I am friendly, I am loving, I am so giving and so thoughtful and charitable and I am a great person." And you're no longer in this competition, sweetheart.

Back in LA for the rose ceremony, the girls strategize over how to show Matt Marshana's actions of the previous night. While Matt is talking to Marshana, Chelsea interrupts to spend some solo time with him, but Marshana refuses to leave. She drinks to her own confidence, and she actually...well, she actually seems to be drinking to a lot right now. Each of the girls pitches themselves for the forthcoming hometown dates, but he'll only be going with four girls, so he only has four roses. My weekly scientific analysis reveals that Marshana and Chelsea will be going home. And...wrong again! Chelsea stays and Robin goes in her stead. Annnnnnd sighs of relief all around on both counts.

Next week: home visits!

I couldn't be happier to see the rear views of both Robin and Marshana. I have a feeling Chelsea will be next to go, then Amanda, and that Noelle and Shayne will stick around to represent good and evil - errr, the final two. Which means, with my track record, that none of those things will happen! Thoughts?

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