'One Tree Hill': Be careful what you wish for

Attention all fans of love triangles, shiny hair and overwrought dialogue set to an emo-rock soundtrack: One Tree Hill is back and it's...exactly the same!

My spoilers only listen to classic rock.

It's been four long weeks since OTH celebrated its 100th episode, so let's take a moment to refresh ourselves on where we left these crazy kids, shall we? Previously on "problems inappropriate for their age" theater, Brooke decided she wanted to have a baby, Nanny Carrie was a psycho, Haley wanted a divorce, Peyton loved Lucas, Lucas got left at the altar by Lindsey, and Dan saved little Jamie from becoming a movie of the week. Just a day in the life in Tree Hill!

The show picks up right where it left off, with Dan being the hero and bringing Jamie home after awesomely choking Nanny Carrie and scaring her out of town. Dan's little reunion obviously didn't go very well, however, seeing that Lucas and Nathan both follow him out to his car and start beating the crap out of him. Why? Because Dan's an ass, that's why. I suppose saving a child from an abduction just doesn't quite absolve you from cold blooded murder. Little Jamie witnesses this beating, which is unfortunate, and goes over to Dan and makes sure he is OK and then thanks him for saving him from Nanny Carrie. Not to require realism from a crazy soap like this, but isn't it a bit much to think that a four year old boy would be aware that he was in danger from Nanny Carrie, someone he trusted, and that his Grandpa Dan saved him, someone he was afraid of and had nightmares about? Whatever, Jamie's cute. After a four week jump in the timeline, a lonely Dan spends the rest of the episode paying his parole officer to have a conversation with him (hee) and secretly visiting Jamie while he is on recess at school. It's only a matter of time before he's invited to Sunday dinner at Casa Scott, just you wait.

As for Nathan and Haley, they've spent the four week break attending marriage counseling which is probably the most sane thing that's happened in this show, like, ever. Their session actually goes quite well, with them communicating nicely about what is bothering them and them both listening to each other and responding in turn. It's a far cry from Jake and Amy on In Treatment, that's for sure. The very sensible counselor suggests they are growing apart because they aren't the people they were when they first fell in love, and encourages them to be young and stupid and go after their dreams more, pushing Nathan to try basketball again and Haley to think about her music. I totally agree! Yay for the sensible counselor! Nathan and Haley have somewhat of a breakthrough and Haley even asks Nathan to return to their bedroom, which inspires a lovely bit of married affection. Finally. It's enough to soften even the hardest of hearts.

Brooke also wasted no time during the hiatus, as she's hopped full speed onto the mother train and has no desire to get off. She spends the episode meeting with an adoption agency representative who is evaluating her appropriateness as an adoptive parent. Although this storyline is quite ridiculous, it is nice to see Brooke going right to the adoption route and wanting to take care of a child who is unwanted. It fits nicely with her history. Unfortunately for Brooke, the agency representative spoke to nasty Victoria who said she would be a "terrible candidate" and essentially killed her shot at adoption. Victoria is so hateful, you guys. Especially since this means Brooke is going to need some sort of sperm donor to conceive on her own or something equally insane. If she asks Lucas to be her baby daddy, I'm going to hurl. I promise you this.

In the most boring segment of the episode, Peyton is still obsessing over Lucas and how to get over him. Dear God, will her storyline ever progress this season? It's tiring. Lucas is not all that, girl. She spills her heart to Max the record store employee (oily played by episode writer and show creator Mark Schwahn). It's endless and horrible, and although she seems to be starting to let go of Lucas you know it's just going to be more of the same. Once she moves on, he'll fall for her again, lather, rinse, repeat. Sigh.

Finally, we have Lucas. Lucas did what every person who is left at the altar does - he got the heck out of town to decompress and figure out what to do next. After four weeks of sailing with Karen, Lily and Andy he's at a crossroads and Andy spends the episode trying to help him decide what to do next. Lucas is insistent that all he wants is Lindsey, so Andy pep talks him into going after her even though she says she doesn't want anything to do with him. He finally shows up in Lindsey's office and totally pulls the same thing he pulled on Brooke in season three with the "I know I'm right for you and you want me so much, and when you realize it I'll be waiting" spiel. You have to give the boy credit, he has a lot of confidence in himself. Misplaced confidence, but confidence all the same. He tells her he'll only publish his new book if she edits it, she agrees with the condition that the relationship be strictly professional, and the dreaded romantic triangle continues. Hey, they got picked up for another season. They have to stretch out the story somehow.

What did you guys think? Are you glad to have the show back? Is Brooke going to give up her dream of being a mother or resort to other means to have a baby? Will Peyton ever shut up about Lucas? And will Nathan and Haley's reconciliation last, or are they in for trouble once they go back to basketball and music?

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