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'Big Brother: 'Til Death Do You Part' Tonight, playing the part of Amber...
Tonight on Big Brother: 'Til Death Do You Part, we watched everyone's cycles synchronize as the spirit of Amber descended like a whiny specter of doom. DOOM, I say!
But first, let's review: Natalie won HoH and nominated James and Joshuah. James pouted about being nominated yet again and blamed the entire house for over reacting to him ousting Matt. Is someone feeling grandiose and paranoid? Matt got eviction notes from enough HGs to get himself out. And thank goodness, he was irritating. Meanwhile Joshuah felt pretty good, as everyone in the house wants James gone.
And that is what most of the show focuses on, to an absurd degree. James declares that he is an island unto himself in the house and cries (a lot) now that Chelsia is gone, because being on the block against Joshuah means that now neither he or Sharon are there to back James up. Sheila gets into the sauna with James to give him a pep talk about how he's a fierce competitor and she's positive he will win the PoV. James is really touched and grateful that Sheila took the time to boost his spirits. At least, until he wakes up to hear Sheila giving Joshuah the exact same pep talk, with several other HGs backing her up.
James stalks out into the room and tells the group he heard everything. Joshuah leaves the room and Sheila tries to back peddle by saying that he was really depressed about being nominated and she knew he was scared because James is such a strong competitor, but James isn't buying it. Sheila goes to find Joshuah to continue her pep talk, which James walks in on again, because Sheila is dim. Again, she tries to back track by saying "I'm sorry you had to hear that" but James just tells her to stop. But she can't stop, she's on a roll! She leaves the room to announce to the other HGs that she's glad James heard what she had to say, because she's sick of him being a cry baby about being alone in the house. James doesn't over hear her...so Adam goes and tells him what she said. Which is, in a word, genius.
James storms out to confront Sheila and there's a lot of fingers in faces and screaming and spittle flying, but I honestly miss most of the content because I am too horrified by James's jockeys. Seriously, James. Boxer briefs. It's science. James retreats and continues to spout around the other HGs who try to calm him, while arguing with him. When he complains that he is a target, everyone else throws in that they are too! When he complains that Chelsia was sent packing, Natalie points out that her soul-mate Matty is gone! Realizing he can't catch a break, James finally says "I have no chance unless I win the PoV. Let me be frustrated with that". And everyone seems pretty cool with that. It's like the Twilight Zone.
There is a completely nonsensical confrontation when James is going on about how persecuted he is because Natalie got rid of Chelsia as revenge for Matt (which is ironic, since vengeance is so his modus operandi). Natalie points out that she wasn't HoH that week and James blurts out that she told him she had Adam's ear and suggested Chelsia as the nominee. Apparently Adam's ear is finely tuned to catch his name, because the next thing we see if him storming into the room to begin screaming that no one is selling him out because he didn't do anything wrong to anyone. I think someone needs a nap.
I have to wonder when the last full moon was, because the weirdness continues when James and Joshuah both get out of bed in the middle of the night and commiserate while complaining about Sheila. Joshuah says she is wrong to play everyone in the house and that people have to have some morals in the game. Hello, Mr. Kettle! There is a telegram for you from Mrs. Pot concerning your level of blackness. James confesses that her pep talk had meant a lot to him and to hear her take it back to everyone else was awful. And he impersonates Amber again. For a long time. As he camera talks about how he "tried to be there for these people". Huh? I thought he was trying to win the money.
PoV Competition:
Natalie, James and Joshuah are joined by Shelia, Ryan and Sharon in a game of estimations. There are pairs of objects, such as a little gum-ball machine and a big gum-ball machine. The little one is labeled to indicate that it contains 40 balls and it is up to the HGs to guess how many the pig one has by way of comparison. Then they will each reveal their answers. Based on everyone's answers, they can then decide to stay or fold. The people who fold are safe, but get no points. Of the people who stay, the one closest to the correct answer gets a point, the person with the lowest guess is out of the game. The person who gets 3 points first wins. From the get go, James is the only one using his brain, as he continues to fold until it's down to just him, Sheila and Ryan. By which time they are so nervous that they start folding and James wins points by default, until he eventually goes head to head with Ryan and comes out on top.
The kid really DOES have 9 lives!
However, this sets Joshuah into a downward spiral of depression, which makes him cry because he is positive Sharon will go up against him and he's sure he'll be evicted. Seeing him cry makes Sharon cry and she goes to find out if that is Natalie's plan - which it is. She tells Joshuah and he cries and tells Sheila to watch out for Sharon, because he won't be around to protect her anymore. Wait, when did he ever protect her? Or anyone, for that matter? Apparently, those types of semantics don't matter, as this pushes Sharon into crying some more, which makes Sheila start crying as she pledges to look after Sharon. Which is sort of like asking a brain damaged chimpanzee to babysit while you run some errands. It's just downright stupid and negligent! I'm ashamed of you Joshuah. But, wait! There's more!
Joshuah retreats to the pantry to cry alone while Sharon retreats to the bathroom to cry alone. Only Sharon is joined by Sheila, who wants to deliver another pep talk. Which is how we get the genius montage of cuts of Sheila talking about how Joshuah wants Sharon to stay in the game, about how sweet it was of him to be concerned about Sharon's well being after he's gone, about how he's going to walk out with dignity and class because he's an honorable man and about how terrible they feel about him going with cuts of him realizing he wants to stay and campaigning against Sharon. It's brilliant! Especially when he so easily convinces James and Ryan to keep him, guaranteeing a tie, which Natalie promises to break in his favor.
PoV Ceremony:
Really, what's the use? We all know James is saving himself. In fact, Joshuah knows it to such a degree that he says he shouldn't be saved because he sucks at competitions and doesn't deserve to be in the game and thus James should use it to save himself. The logic doesn't quite add up, but whatever. James saves himself and Sharon takes his place.
The only question now is, will Natalie keep her word and break the tie in Joshuah's favor? Who else found James's speech to be oddly compelling? Who else other than Sheila, I mean, because that nonsense was beyond strange!
I want to take everyone who was responsible for that genius section showing the devious Joshuah/devout Sharon dichotomy behind a middle school and get them pregnant. Absolute brilliance. I feel a little bit jealous you got to write about that awesomeness and I am going to get some stupid background package on Sheila or some such nonsense instead tomorrow.
James - PUT SOME PANTS ON! And not those fugly purple ones.
Carrie (Your friendly Wednesday recapper) | Apr 1, 2008 8:32:21 PM | #LOL. That was a fun episode. Sharon is more concerned for Josh's safety than her own. What an idiot...hope she goes home.
Andy | Apr 1, 2008 8:55:06 PM | #No kidding if she only knew how he(Josh) was throwing her under the bus while she was in the john with Sheila. If by some freakin way Josh makes it to the final 3 or 2 kudos to him for snowjobing the other houseguest. I just rather see Josh gone than Sharon the poor gp's are going to starve when she's gone. And Sharon better on the eyes of this guy.
no face no name | Apr 1, 2008 9:36:28 PM | #DAMMIT!!!! James is on his way of surpassing Evil Dick and Daniele in being the most annoying HG in BB history...
Mark O. Estes | Apr 2, 2008 12:18:56 AM | #Go James!!! i haven't been that tense during any competition on any season! & I agree with Andy...that WAS fun!
Where's Billybob? We miss you :(
Can Sheila be any more annoying? Natalie, Matty is gonna call the cops on you, play your own game & start using your 3 yrs of college education!
kennyg | Apr 2, 2008 5:25:58 AM | #Great writing, Jessica, you made me laugh with your montage of 'Mr.Kettle'.
It was a good show last nite. The scenes of Joshua selling Sharon down the river and Sharon on the loo, crying a river, for her Josh, were priceless.
I must say that I agree with others about James putting on some pants...but not those skinny purple things...yikes!
Come on! James is FAR from the most annoying person in the house right now
Daniel | Apr 2, 2008 7:01:10 AM | #Another great re-cap Jessica.
What a fun episode this was! Holy jockey shorts batman. That James is a genius.
He was the only one who understood the POV competition. Fold, fold, fold until you're up against Sheila and Ryan. Then win, win, win. Brilliant!
BTW, James is hot in his underpants (or out of them!). I agree with Rosie, the scenes of Joshuah selling Sharon down the river were priceless. This is how you play the game. People are not in BB9 to be righteous and honest. C'mon people.
Go JAMES! Go JOSHUAH!
Peace.
JVice | Apr 2, 2008 7:19:18 AM | #Thanks to last year (started because of Amber) and the Have-a-Drink-Whenever-Someone-Cries game, I was smashed by 9:45 last night.
Ron | Apr 2, 2008 7:29:04 AM | #Ron that is too funny. Maybe the house is haunted by the spirit of the late, great Tammy Faye and she is trying to communicate with our side through the tearducts of the houseguests? So many tears, I thought I was watching Oprah's Big Give.
Ok, so just when I have my will legally changed to leave little Joshie everything instead of my cats, he goes and pulls one of the nastiest moves in BB history. Brilliant editing. Why do I always fall for the wrong guy? I'm talking to you ghost of Ike Turner! What is with James and the panties? Is he trying to make a sequel to his gay porn right in the BB house? (and if so can he be the lettuce in a Josh and Ryan sandwich?.....great now I have to change my pants!)
Instead of counting James' lives, maybe it would be quicker to count the collective functioning brain cells of natalie, Sheila, Sharon and Josh. I can't beleive how badly they did in the POV competition. Loving Adam more and more each episode but one thing he isn't is a game show host. He was shouting and pronouncing his "p's" so hard, it was like playing $25,000 Pyramid in an Al-Quaida training camp!
Billybob | Apr 2, 2008 8:28:11 AM | #i was hoping they would show all the pranks that cbs pulled for april fools.
wednesday | Apr 2, 2008 8:32:38 AM | #LOL. Welcome back Billybob.
I'd love to see pictures of that "manwich" with James, little Joshie and Ryan. Woof!
Peace.
JVice | Apr 2, 2008 8:56:54 AM | #Do houseguest know that James did/does gay porn?
Molotov | Apr 2, 2008 11:04:51 AM | #JAMES DOES GAY PORN???? OH MY GOD,WHY?? HE'S SO STUPID LOOKING..WITH THAT RIDICULOUS HAIR & CHICKEN SKIN WHITE BODY..UGH..I THOUGHT HE WAS A BICYCLER OR SOMETHING? GAY PORN?? OMG!!!
THAT CRYING GETS ON MY NERVES AS BAD AS IT DID WITH AMBER!! STOP THAT PEOPLE! NOT ONE OF THESE PEOPLE DESERVE $50. BUCKS NEVER MIND
1/2 A MIL..PLEASE!! I HATE THEM ALL! WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING? I HAVE NO IDEA!!
It seems that James may very well be this season's Janelle in the veto competitions.
They should evict James and then he can go to the sequestor house and do Chelsia AND Matty... a nice happy threesome...LOL
natalie is so annoying... and it isn't even entertaining anymore. i would have loved to see an alliance of james/ryan/josh/sharon...but now it will just have to be the first 3.
and dont even get me started on sheila. she should have been evicted a long time ago.
s | Apr 2, 2008 3:33:10 PM | #what is it with all the crybabies on this show? it's pretty sad watching everyone crying so much, guys and gals included. but it's especially unseemly watching the men(?) (because you have to use this term loosely with this bunch) cry so much....
but at least i don't think ryan is gonna start crying over this game. he didn't the first time he was evicted. unless all that crying is contagious...yeah, bad (make that, very bad) memories of amber is right on point :(
at least, the veto game was a high point, as well as the josh/sharton montage. that was great!
lizouttavegas, yeah it's ugly but we gotta keep watching!
A James, Josh and Ryan manwich/sandwich? That's one fat sandwich (not counting James), you guys must be some real chubbychasers. Although I think the slop is helping Josh in that respect, eh? Yuck.
damn josh is a fuck'n two timer gosh
elenimmi | Apr 2, 2008 5:47:41 PM | #boy matty's birthday present CHELSIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yeah!!!!nattie isn't as dumb as he appears
mike | Apr 2, 2008 5:49:51 PM | #James,
Get a tan or put some clothes on.
Kthxbye!
Patrick | Apr 2, 2008 6:46:53 PM | #You can see James in gay porn action by using the link below. Once the page opens scroll down a little...on the left side of the screen click on the links: Solo Photos, Action Photos, etc. These photos are not safe for work.
http://www.dingorue.com/2008/02/20/big-brother-9-james-gay-porn-past/
Molotov | Apr 2, 2008 8:06:41 PM | #i want sheila ta win
spider pig | Apr 20, 2008 6:57:01 AM | #
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