You know, I had figured that the moment the HGs of Big Brother: 'Til Death Do You Part finally began cannibalizing each other, all sorts of exciting things would happen. I didn't know what things they might be, but I thought certainly they would be entertaining. I was wrong.

But first, let's review! Before James left the house, Natalie tried to make a deal with him, which he told Sharon about, who told Sheila, who gossiped to Ryan, who went back to James to get confirmation. Surprisingly, by the time the news gets to the end, it hasn't become completely bastardized, throwing all my knowledge about the game of telephone right out the window. Damnation! However, what does occur is that Natalie's mouth comes back to bite her in the backside, as the entire house now knows she's playing all sides against each other.

Who knew the bikini barista from the beaver state would end up being such a competitor? Annoying, I could have predicted. And that continues, as this week's power number is 9. Why? Well, April 9 is when James was evicted. It's Big Brother's 9th season. It's day 63 in the house and 6+3 = 9! She's like a Dan Brown character! And now, also a target.

The last show left off with our HGs hanging in plexi boxes for the HoH competition. Sharon was the first to drop, explaining a back injury for her tiny bit of endurance. The remaining HGs hang tough (hang! Get it?!) for a long enough time that Sharon and Adam get bored and go inside to make snacks. While they are away, Ryan, Sheila and Natalie start working up a deal. They each agree to give Sheila the HoH this weak, because she's the only HG to have never won it and she's gone on for the last hour about how desperate she is for pictures and letters from home. They also agree that Adam will be there target and that if the votes come out tied, Sheila must break it in their favor. But, they also plan to not make it look like they've made a deal. Yes, it's just as nonsensical as it sounds.

Thus, when Adam and Sharon return, Ryan asks Sheila if they are good - blowing his part of their deal - and she agrees, so he drops. Then Sheila tells Natalie that she's good with her too - blowing another part of the deal. However, Natalie is not going to make it easy for Sheila. Instead, she is going to make all the HGs and America deal with her nonstop prattle about how she's a fighter and she doesn't give up, but she's also a Christian and just like Jesus suffered on the cross, so she is suffering in the box. No, I did not make that up, she did, in fact, just compare an HoH competition to crucifixion. In fact, she goes on for so long that Adam later camera talks that she made a bigger target of herself by being completely irritating. All I can say is that my prayers are answered when she finally does drop out and give the win to Sheila.

Most of the rest of the show is he said, she said and betraying the deals that have been made. For example, the first thing Ryan and Natalie do after the competition is approach Adam. You know, the one they named as their primary target to Sheila? Yeah, him. They tell him everything about the deal but substitute Sharon's name for his, adding that Sheila will be their target next week, making them the final 3. Sheila also talks to Adam. About how she's really just an innocent little girl who cares about everyone, wrapped in the gruff and mean exterior of a bitter old woman. More amazing? He agrees with her and says he sees the little girl in her. I'm about see the dinner in me. Sheila goes on to say that even though she has to put him on the block, her real goal is for him or Ryan to win the PoV, so they can take him down and put Natalie up.

Sheila's HoH room reveal is the most dramatic we've seen, with not only pictures of her teenage son, but pictures from her modeling career. Proving he's still a charmer, Adam reveals in the DR that he wishes "that Sheila was in the house instead of this thing!" You mean the one with the innocent little girl inside? (*urp) There's tears and squeals and hugs and it's a very Brady Big Brother for a moment. and then they go back to being the HGs we know by sitting around and discussing what physical traits are turn ons, and the definition of a butter face. Worse of all is when Sheila reveals her ideal is a cross between Evil Dick and Dr. Will, and BB digs deep into it's budget to morph two photos of the previous HGs into a visage so terrible that words cannot describe it. But it will haunt my nightmares, I am certain of it.

But there are no nightmares or dreams at the end of the show, as it all goes down exactly as promised. Sheila places Adam and Sharon on the block, reminding Adam that he did the same to her last week and asking him to not be angry at her, and wishing Sharon good luck with the PoV.  Which is weird, but rather nice too, actually. Must be that little girl we've heard so much about tonight.

Nope, I still can't think about that without feeling ill.

Comments

It wasn't completely clear from the editing, but the deal that Natalie and Ryan struck with Sheila was actually to get Sharon out. The bit about voting Adam out is supposed to be a contingency in case Sharon wins and uses the veto.

Of course, neither Ryan or Sheila were really after Sharon either. The whole 'deal' was pretty much a ploy on their part.

QPine | Apr 13, 2008 9:00:57 PM | #

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Thanks, QPine! I completely didn't get that sense of things at all, but knowing it gives me a bit more confidence in what they were attempting to accomplish....I think. heh

Jessica Paff | Apr 13, 2008 11:59:53 PM | #

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The entire house wants Natalie gone, but with her in the HOH challenge, Sheila couldn't tell her and Ryan "let me win HOH so I can put Natalie up". Natalie's dumb, but not that dumb.

Also, their only chance to get rid of Natalie is to backdoor her (though they'd be screwed if she won Veto, so Adam or Sharon would be voted out).

Claude | Apr 14, 2008 4:44:30 AM | #

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Great coverage Jessica!

One thing I did hear on BB that only reinforces my belief: Sheila & Adam, the final two. Sheila admitting Adam is her true alliance on BB and she's not going to jeopardize it--even if it means putting him on the block. Tough love, huh?

But I have to admit it was funny hearing Adam's reaction to Sheila's "safe to broadcast photo" in the HOH room by saying he wished the photo Sheila was playing instead of having that. I was ROTFL.

What was interesting from watching BB after dark (no spoilers here) was seeing the guys napping away without a care to the world as the girls set up a little hair salon for some girltalk.

Once again the Matty the martyr came into the conversation, and why not? It seems to be Natalie's raison d'être. However, Natalie cannot hold it together long enough to spin a decent reason to stay in the house.

Sharon is turning out to be quite the strategist--no, not really. But think of who would be more likely to win POV? No, I don't see it either.

As for giving Sheila HOH because she had not won it yet, is bogus. It was Ryan's game plan.

Natalie was invoking the name of Team JC so often I thought she was hanging off the tallest pike of a revival tent. Which in a way, is sort of significant simply because Natalie knew she had served her purpose and with no one caring one way or the other, it was time for her to go.

After POV ceremony, Natalie sits on the block--Adam will stay. Sharon will stay, too. Ryan will search for more poptarts. And Sheila will again rely on the kindness of strangers.

Spare change, anyone?

badmemory | Apr 14, 2008 6:00:10 AM | #

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Great re-cap Jessica!

I'm starting to actually like crazy-eyes Adam and Sheila. I think they would make a great final two.

It was very obvious in the plexi-box competition that Natalie does not feel secure in the house. And she's correct in assuming that. If she would just shut her mouth for a few minutes, she just might have a chance and play out her strategy. But she's too annoying to everyone. Adam and Sheila alrady see that. And Ryan should make full use of that to get her out.

If only they kept James in one more week. We might've seen Natalie lose all self-control and explode in the plexi-box.

Go TC (Team Crazy, that would be Adam and Sheila)!

Peace.

JVice | Apr 14, 2008 6:35:52 AM | #

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My favorite parts were:

Sheila's letter from her brother saying"I'm glad you have kept your integrity during the game" WTF? Has he been watching the same show as me? Sheila tells the DR something completely different EVERY week and she's already broken her deal with natalie.

Adams comment about he wished the photo Sheila was in the house instead of "that thing". Priceless.

Gary | Apr 14, 2008 7:54:47 AM | #

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It just kills me that the reason for wanting Natalie out of the house is that she's doing the same damn thing that everyone else is doing! Playing everyone else!
Hypocrite Abound!!!

Paul | Apr 14, 2008 8:16:28 AM | #

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Exactly Paul...and the only person that will benefit from Natalie leaving is Sheila...well and sharon of course.

Natalie is true to the guys her other deals are only to secure herself if someone else gets HOH or veto...

If the guys are stupid enough to vote out Natalie they should at least make it a tie so sheila does not look like the good guy to natalie...

I dont really want natalie to will but i want sheila or sharon to win even less...even if you dont like natalie to listen to those 2 bash her for 3 straight hours on showtime is pathetic...

Ryans only true person is natalie both adam and sheila would take each other...

if natalie stayed and won hoh should would nominate shiela and adam and unless sheila won veto she would go home...so this only helps sheila...

im not sure who sharon would nominate...

adam is the one person they all cant beat in the final 2 so im not really sure why they all want to save him...but i want adam to win so i guess i shouldnt care

Linda | Apr 14, 2008 8:47:47 AM | #

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Please bring James and Joshuah back!

I'll even take Evil Dick from last season. Some of the ones left are just plain booooooooring!

Go Adam. Go Sheila!

JVice | Apr 14, 2008 8:57:27 AM | #

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I'm half with you...

Go Adam...but sheila? no way

Linda | Apr 14, 2008 9:02:57 AM | #

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Linda are you watching the same show? Just kidding!

I know Adam will win BB. But Natalie will go home this week.

We knew the type of person Sheila was from her demonstrative indignation towards Adam...ya know, when he playfully called her "mom" when the pairs were made at the beginning of BB.

C'mon it's like the Odd Couple at the BB. Actually the odder couple was Ryan and Allison...whew, I still get shivers thinking about that one.

But Linda you've made a good point in wondering who Sharon would nominate if she ever makes it to winning HOH. And so far it judging how the gameplay is farting away in this season of BB. Sharon just might hold the mighty key.

Although, I have a feeling if Sharon did, no doubt she'd nominate her cheating ex-boyfriend a thousand times over just to watch him squirm drenched in flop sweat. Did you catch the story of what happened in their real relationship? That dude was a class A jerk.

But dollars to donuts, Sharon will be the next booted after Natalie.

time to make change.

badmemory | Apr 14, 2008 9:07:59 AM | #

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After watching last night's episode, I have only one question...."Does anyone know how old Sheila is?" If I have to hear that she is "45, going on 46" one more time..and she mentions it in reference to such odd things..."I make number 2 three times a freakin' day and I'm forty-freakin-five!" uh, ok.

Did anyone notice how blotchy Adam was on his side when he was getting the back rub from Sheila? Ick. And what WOULD Jesus do, Natalie? My hope is he would render you mute with a Bewitched-like nose wiggle and then force you to poop your pants just for fun.

Finally I feel I must stick up for Sharon as none of you mo-fo's will. Um, she was just in a major car accident about 6 months ago. Maybe her body just isn't ready to be forced to hang above the backyard in a 2x2 plexiglass box (Isn't that how Goldie Hawn got her start in show-biz?)

I have to agree that these people are pretty boring compared to Whack-a-peepee James and Joshie's roller coaster impressions.I only hope that Natalie will be eliminated and then go all CARRIE on their asses and collapse the house with all of them in it! Dare to dream.

Billybob | Apr 14, 2008 10:09:18 AM | #

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By far the funniest moment of last night was when the HG's were discussing physical traits that attract them to the opposite sex. As Sharron confesses that for her, "It's all about eyes and teeth," they cleverly cut straight to Adam, whose FACE is, in fact, all about eyes and teeth! Funniest moment of all.

Unless, of course, like me, your Tivo recorded half of 60 minutes. Then you also caught some hard hitting, investigative journalism by Andy Rooney on the subject of FRUIT!!! It included some shocking yet newsworthy tidbits like, "In my day we ate blueberries, but we called them huckleberries!" and "I wouldn't even know what to do with a mango!" WHAT IS HIS F**KING PROBLEM?

David | Apr 14, 2008 11:25:23 AM | #

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Ryan is the one that should want to keep natalie, i believe she would take him to the end over anyone...adam will take sheila I think...sheila will definitely take adam...sharon may take ryan but she could also take sheila...

sheila is playing the game the best at this very moment...she has the guys trusting her more then anyone...she has sharon trusting her...and she is the mastermind behind getting rid of natalie and she will do it without making natalie mad because right now natalie thinks sheila is on her side 100% so unless the boys make it a tie sheila made a great move this week...

with that said...i will die if sheila wins...

I still say sheila and sharon are the only ppl that benefit from voting out natalie...because next week if she got HOH she would nominate sheila and adam and sheila would go unless she got veto...and if one of the guys won HOH and nominated sheila and natalie and natalie got veto she would save herself and vote out sheila against one of the guys so this only helps sheila...

i mean dont the guys question why sheila would want natalie gone because sheila keeps telling the guys natalie wants to nominate both guys next week if she gets hoh so why would sheila want her gone?? if i was the guys i would automatically know that sheila felt threatened by natalie and that the guys would be safe over keeping sharon...there is no benefit to keeping sharon at this point

Linda | Apr 14, 2008 1:40:42 PM | #

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we all know natalie is starved for male attention...she would rather help a guy win then a girl...

she is playing for second place over anyone now...why is everyone trying to keep ppl they cant beat??? that makes no sense...ryan most of all he can only beat natalie

Linda | Apr 14, 2008 1:46:45 PM | #

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WOW! Okay, I just got through watching some YouTube BB9 livefeeds and that is some nosepickin' good times, y'all.

I hate to say but the only way Natalie will avoid the boot is if she does to Ryan and Adam what she did with Matt way, way after dark.

I feel the vapors comin' on.

Good grief the BB house is a viral tidepool of concupisence...and that ain't including the jacuzzi clips.

But I did notice something very interesting: Notice how whenever something is going on in the house that bears cunning, or treachery, Sharon is always around.

Seriously, folks. Sharon is like the fly on the wall. She knows where all the bones are buried in that place. Whoowee!

I may have to reevaluate my prognostication, or is that prodigitation...anyway, if it has to do with a top hat and flowing cape doing card tricks...I think Sharon is the sleeper winner.

can I pull a quarter out of your ear?

badmemory | Apr 14, 2008 3:03:15 PM | #

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"And what WOULD Jesus do, Natalie? My hope is he would render you mute with a Bewitched-like nose wiggle and then force you to poop your pants just for fun."

and some of us mo-fo's answer hallelujah, Billybob, hallelujah....

i really hope Natalie gets the boot this week. now, that would be sweetness fer sure.

dl | Apr 14, 2008 11:19:49 PM | #

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Well i watched showtime 2 last night and i almost was crying...natalie in my mind was the most honest last night and sheila is just a B!tch...I really think they need to go to the final 4 as a team then deal with it...

I still dont get why they would keep someone that has 3 definite votes over someone who would get no votes in the final 2...

well i dont want to give anything away so im not saying names but hope they do the right thing...

Linda | Apr 15, 2008 6:48:50 AM | #

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I felt the same way too, Linda.

But Natalie does have a tendancy to contradict herself...either knowingly, or unknowningly.

So here's my question: I see Ryan constantly eating something, yet he looks as though he lost a few pounds. How does that boy do it?

badmemory | Apr 15, 2008 7:57:12 AM | #

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99 times out of a 100, Id always root for my own gender, but in this case..ugh
these are the 3 most annoying women ive ever seen! Natalie NEVER shuts up,
Sharons voice is like a foghorn, and Sheila is just stupid..I think those boys should band together, get rid of all those sea hags &
laugh all the way to the bank! never thought the day would come when I could hate 3 women more than 2 men, especially when they're ALL
IDIOTS!!

lizouttavegas | Apr 15, 2008 8:25:04 AM | #

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HA HA Idiots! So true.

badmemory | Apr 15, 2008 9:56:07 AM | #

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Well my mind is made up...adam and ryan have to keep natalie if they want final 3...they are complete morons if they keep sharon over natalie...

shiela knows natalie is true to the boys and that is why she wants her out and the guys should see that...

i have never been this frustrated about a season i dont think...

Linda | Apr 15, 2008 11:35:15 AM | #

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I just watch a clip of adam and ryan talking outside last night around midnight big bro time and I think i love ryan all of a sudden he final knows whats going on and if he gets adam to know...this could be a great night on Wednesday

Linda | Apr 15, 2008 11:59:35 AM | #

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GO RYAN!!!
Go Adam!!
go natalie!

Linda | Apr 15, 2008 1:32:35 PM | #

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Dadgummitt!

I was planning on watching something else, but gosh darn it. Linda's got me thinking of a whole new strategy.

Too bad my poor steam powered VCR is on the fritz. Not to mention all my VHS tapes have Rockford Files reruns and Cheers reruns.

I had so much promise of Sheila and Adam. I hope my rabbits ears work tonight.

badmemory | Apr 15, 2008 5:00:58 PM | #

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