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'Rock of Love 2' What self-esteem?
After the insulting talent show for the veterans, I come to this week's Rock of Love 2 knowing that it is unlikely that it can sink any lower. At least not right away. But that's OK, there are plenty of disturbing lateral moves it can make.
And wasting no time with that, we are treated to Kristy Joe calling her second - and current - husband. Whom she may or may not have a restraining order against. She obliquely tells him that "a lot of stuff we went through has started surfacing". Because no one can comprehend Kristy Joe, he asks her what that is supposed to mean. Completely avoiding an actual answer, she tells him that she has a strong connection with Brett and as such, she thinks they need to get a divorce. He retorts that he hasn't heard form her in two weeks and the first thing she has to say to him is that she wants a divorce and she tells him that she's just being honest. Proving that he's not a total idiot (although, he did marry her in the first place) - he hangs up.
Kristy Joe decides to use this opportunity to over dramatize her situation even further by deciding she must talk to Brett about the phone call RIGHT NOW ZOMG!!1 When she can't find him, she goes back up to her room to pout and try to cry for the cameras. Ambre comes up to find out what's wrong (this time) and is treated to the story of how Kristy Joe just told her husband she wants a divorce. Ambre basically states she thought she had already done so and when Kristy Joe said she just finalized it - over the phone - Ambre is about as gobsmacked as any rational human being would be. As evidenced by her yelling "No wonder Brett doesn't trust you!"
Thankfully, we are saved form further theatrics by the call to competition. This week, instead of insulting the nation's veterans, the girls will just be further embarrassing their families by splitting into two teams to make a music video. Each team will have a creative director and real director Dean Karr will be on hand to help both teams out for the 3 hours they get to shoot and edit their work. Which are sure to be staggering pieces of depth and reckless beauty. Or T&A. Whichever.
Destiny grabs the creative director position for her team of Jessica and Daisy and their work on the song Go That Far. Which might as well have been retitled Rock That Cliche. They monopolize most of Dean Karr's time to shoot a school girl being taught how to be a stripper. It's Klassy with a K! During the process Destiny does precious little work, unless the job description of a creative director has been truncated to whining and pouting while wearing a ridiculous feather boa.
Ambre begs to be the creative director for her team and Megan and Kristy Joe give in easily enough. Their song is Fallen and it reads like the moody Kristy Joe they've got today, so it really works out perfectly. Most of their shots consist of her staring morosely at a phone and looking more emo than a Dashboard Confessional fan, with Megan bouncing in her underwear to try to pull her out of bed to no avail. Why she was in her underwear, I don't know - but she makes an angry phone call and then Kristy Joe runs downstairs and a mysterious hand comes through the front door to give her a rose and Fin. But, based on it's lack of pointless girl on girl action and stripper pole, Brett declares it had a "better concept" and is therefore the winner.
The other team isn't so much distraught over losing as much as they are upset that this means Kristy Joe will get another date with Brett. And this is made abundantly clear by Destiny screaming that it's unfair that Kristy Joe had packed her bags and threatened to leave but was still there. And just in case the message wasn't clear enough, Daisy snides "I hope you have fun on your date" in a tone of voice that clearly implies that she actually hopes the other girl catches fire within the next hour or so.
Wasting no time, Ambre gets her solo date that evening. It's a bit weird when she gets all dressed up and goes to Brett's room to find out the date is there. They make out for a few moments and then it gets more surreal when Brett has a middle eastern healer join them. No, not like that, thank goodness. Satish informs them that they've known each other's souls for a very long time - since about the 12th century. He's just getting into all the chakra aligning and peaceful soul stuff when there comes some insistent knocking at the door.
Yup, it's Kristy Joe. She's decided that Brett is avoiding her and she needs to discuss that with him. Right now. In the middle of his date with Ambre. Brett politely asks her to let him finish his date and then he will talk to her and tells her to go to her room because he will do "something very beautiful" for her. Coming back to the date, Brett tells Satish that there is a soul in turmoil in the house and would he go talk to her? HA! Kristy Joe is all snuggled up in her bed, waiting for Brett to come to her (like he always seems to) when instead a small middle eastern man arrives and begins asking her questions. Have you ever seen a sad tree? Have you ever seen a frustrated ocean? Have you ever seen a crazy mountain? Mister, you are sitting next to the crazy mountain, so you hit that one right on the head.
Brett and Ambre make out and cuddle a little while longer. Brett tells the camera that she is, hands down, the best kisser in the house and he feels very connected to her in that moment. Which would have been a decent line to tell Ambre herself. Instead, he blurts out "I feel like making a porno right now". No wonder the man is single. Continuing with that theme, he ends their date and runs out to call Kristy Joe. He brings her to his room again, which makes the rest of the house scowl, pout or cry.
Once in his room, Kristy Joe tells him she has "started the process". Brett, confused, asks her what she means and she tells him that she told her husband he wants a divorce. Cue the confessional of Brett saying "WHOA! Unbelievable. She lied about the relationship already being over". Now, in my world, this is an immediate deal breaker because it just tells volumes about how little the other person gives a damn about you at all. But my world is a more sane and logical place than the Rock of Love house. Less silicone and cheap beer, too. Thus, Brett does not immediately tell the lying psychopath to get the heck out, but sends her off to bed. Daisy does the dirty work, by asking Kristy Joe to do them all a favor and just leave.
The next day, Megan and Kristy Joe head off on their date with Brett. He takes them to a restaurant at a hotel, but Megan wastes no time with appetizer, instead leaning over to make out with Brett. Which sends Kristy Joe running for the lobby. Megan shows that she may actually have a brain of sorts when she suddenly pulls away and points out that he hasn't spent much time with her yet and she wants him to get to know her seriously. Brett stares at her chest and mumbles something or other and they go right back to making out, but for a second there it almost seemed like one of the girls had some self-esteem!
But, predictably, Brett notices Kristy Joe has left and so he goes off to find her. Apparently she refuses to sit with him and Megan because our next shot is them alone at a table. She tells him that everyone in the house thinks she's crazy and he asks "Thinks or knows?" Which means his wig glue vapors haven't completely destroyed his ability to reason. She laughs and says that she is crazy and at least she admits it. There follows an uncomfortable silence that is broken by the following exchange:
Kristy Joe: So...how about them Oakland Raiders?
Brett: (mumbled) good grief.
Back at the house Ambre confronts Kristy Joe with her behavior over the last few days. I really cannot accurately describe all the ways the conversation devolves into the crazy that is Kristy Joe. Let's just say that someone needs some Lithium. She's not the fun kind of crazy that Lacey was. She is just straight up exhaustingly mentally ill in the ways that only people with true personality disorders can be. The fact that the scene ends with her whining about how Ambre is "messing with my head!" is just proof of that.
The elimination ceremony is ends up coming down to Megan and Kristy Joe, which is when it flies off the map. Brett calls Kristy Joe down and basically asks her if she wants to stay. No bull, no games, he wants to know that she's committed to being there. What's eerie is how committed he is, which is clear when she says that she has a lot of stuff going on at home that she needs to take care of and he plaintively asks "And I couldn't take care of it with you?" Which just further convinces me that the man needs counseling to figure out what attracts him to unstable women. But in the end, Kristy Joe picks the dramatic road by tearfully telling him she needs to go home. He walks her out, whispers several things in he ear that we don't get to hear before she walks away and he throws her VIP Pass on the ground outside. He morosely walks back in the house and half heartedly tells Megan that he hopes she'll stay before excusing himself abruptly. Which means Megan was just sent on a trip to the breakaway Republic of Backhandslapistan, but she's happy to stay. So much for self-esteem.
I thought it was pretty rude of Brett to excuse himself so quickly from the elimination ceremony. He pretty much let the girls know who he felt closest to and was probably leaning towards picking Kristy Joe in the end. I'm sure we are looking at Rock of Love 3 coming soon. IMO, the only girls left worth picking are Ambre, but she's to sane for Brett, and Jessica, but she's not wild enough for him. Whatever!
LostFanatic | Mar 17, 2008 10:32:07 AM | #OMG - I am So going to use the phrase "Republic of Backhandslapistan" that is awesome!!! But I agree with Lost Fanatic. Could Bret care any less for these girls? While I am not crazy about Ambre, I do like Jessica but none of them are really there for Bret. And Bret's doing it for the cash and fame.
Cristina | Mar 17, 2008 10:42:04 AM | #I liked Kristy Joe, she made the show intresting. At this point I want Ambre to win. Jessica-the "Republic of Backhandslapistan" comment, I love it. Sooo funny.
Jessica | Mar 17, 2008 12:08:03 PM | #Cristina- I agree, Brett is in it for cash and fame. He wants back what he used to have.
Jessica | Mar 17, 2008 12:10:19 PM | #LMAO!what a brilliant synopsis of this pathetic farce of women with absolute zero self-esteem. It's pathetically sad though- ROL1 was SO much better than this one...
adrianna | Mar 17, 2008 12:49:15 PM | #I think it's going to be Ambre and Daisy in the final two and he will pick Daisy. He's already proven he doesn't want a real relationship..just looks at how into Kristy Ho he was! Ambre's too good for him anyway.
karen | Mar 17, 2008 4:54:58 PM | #Kristy Ho? Excuse you?? How is she a HO? she never did anything with Bret. Daisy however f*cked him the night she went to his room. If you go on VH1.com there is Bret on a video sayin he only likes Daisy for her Body and that she is SHAVED... yeah thats a Winner there... Alot of people are gonna stop watching cuz Kristy Joe is now gone.
Sami | Mar 17, 2008 6:23:26 PM | #How do you know she didn't do anything with Bret? Because they didn't show it on TV? It was just a term to describe her behavior, really. And your comments about Daisy are exactly the point of what I was saying..he doesn't want a real relationship which is probably why he will pick Daisy in the end.
karen | Mar 18, 2008 8:27:07 AM | #HOW FAKE WAS IT WHEN JESSICA WAS CRYING ON THE STEPS WITH DAISY AND MEGAN BECAUSE KRISTY JOE WAS IN BRETT'S ROOM? GIVE ME A BREAK. THIS SHOW IS DUMB
MELODY FROM JOHNSTOWN | Mar 19, 2008 10:21:53 AM | #Kristy Joe is a former Playboy model and major gold digger. She was ONLY on the show to make more headlines as she now charges $2500 and up for appearances.
She is a lying crazy married BITCH. But she is hot so her loser husband and Bret are still into her.
She can't get enough attention so she wants MORE ... and MORE and ... MORE.... what a bitch
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