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'Paradise Hotel 2': Enter the boozy bombshell
Welcome back to Paradise Hotel 2, the weekly celebration of STDs and alcohol poisoning. Where the hell do they find these people? Who willingly signs up to have their most humiliating, slurred, drunken moments broadcast for millions thousands hundreds dozens to see? Who chooses to hang out in a place that makes high school look like heaven? They might as well call it "Hotel No EXXXit" and be done with it.
Big, bouncy spoilers coming!
Last week, a bunch of stupid people did stupid things, including voting off the only person who seemingly had more than two brain cells to rub together and getting in pompous, drunken fights over pompous, drunken people.
This week, we get a new girl -- Stephanie, a blonde from Houston, Texas, with ginormous boobs. Seriously -- that chick is going to have horrible back problems later in life. Raheim sums her up thusly: "The first thing I noticed is that this girl has an amazing... " There's a slight pause, and I think he's going to pull out some crap about "personality" or "spirit" or something, but he finishes up with "rack." Score one for honesty, Raheim!
All of the men are initially gaga over Stephanie And Her Amazing Rack, but then, things go sour. Stephanie gets completely and utterly plastered -- I hope that medical personnel were standing by to deal with the alcohol poisoning -- and turns into a loud, annoying, drunken mess. Apparently, boobs the size of Brooklyn don't trump an extremely grating personality, not even in this crowd. Who knew?
Krista, for some reason, is charmed by Stephanie, and so is all buddy-buddy with her. The rest of the women are keeping her at arm's length, with TD and Charté being the most openly hostile. Strangely, that hostility gets directed at Krista. You're being so fake! You're sucking up to the new girl! You're acting like someone you're not! I had no idea that TD and Charté had time to gaze deeply into the depths of Krista's soul. The dissension is bad enough that even Drunky McBoobsalot notices in her well-nigh pickled state. Wow.
The men want Raheim to take the bullet and bonk Stephanie -- if she spends the night with someone before elimination, she can be out. He refuses. This is either despite or because Stephanie drunkenly jumped him and was slobbering all over his neck like an elderly vampire who had lost her pointy-canine dentures. It wasn't pretty.
Stephanie gets to take two men out on a date -- and, unlike Tanya and Johnny, she meets both men simultaneously. Did Johnny and James refuse to be alone with her? James fears that Stephanie wants him, and therefore resolves to say nothing to her for as long as possible. This backfires: Stephanie seems to interpret "sullen silence" and "mysterious allure." Doh.
Other stuff:
- TD and Charté are pretty openly nasty to Krista -- when Krista sits down nearby, they discuss how they made a mistake trying to "help" her with "advice" about Stephanie, because Krista is "emotionally unstable." They express amazement when Krista stalks off -- they didn't say anything offensive, so why would she leave in a huff? Oy.
- It gets bad enough that Raheim, who is hardly the poster boy for the composed, measured response, tells TD she's got to rein in her reactions and stop shooting off her mouth and causing dissent. "You need to stop being such an emotional firebomb..." When Raheim says that... ouch.
- Mike talks about how awesome Tanya is, because she can keep up with him in bed! Oh, yes, Mike, all the talk about your sexual prowess doesn't make me worry about size, duration or technique at all.
- Mike later proves to be even more of an idiot than I originally thought -- he tells Tanya that he he'd totally do Stephanie if the opportunity was offered. Why would you say that? Why?
- Krista seems to think James will stand by her. He won't -- but he likes Stephanie even less.
- Krista gets defensive about how people are talking about her: "I like going home knowing I'm a genuine, nice, sincere person, thank you!" Ok... but part of that is "going home." She's already given up.
- Why do these people keep talking about strategy? I have seen no strategy, unless "Get really drunk and slobber over members of the opposite sex" counts.
- At what point is this show supposed to get entertaining? I know, it's a stupid reality show with hardly the plot of a porn flick, but shouldn't the people at the hotel at least be vaguely interesting?
Next week: A new Pandora's box! Raheim and James fight over Lauren! Elimination! More sleaze and skank! Wake me up when things get interesting!
Hey i just wanna say that my favorite on the show is Tanya and i like Mike...
lena | Mar 4, 2008 8:45:12 AM | #Mike is so hot! I dunno, he just melts me.
Rachele | Mar 4, 2008 2:40:47 PM | #I like Tanya too... I did not about the new chick...
Ayeh | Mar 4, 2008 4:18:42 PM | #I missed the episode where the new chick came, how do I see the full episode?
Marija | Mar 7, 2008 11:09:33 AM | #Seriously, paradise hotel 1 was ALOT better. at least there people actually had startegy and wernt just being dumb all of the time. GO LAUREN! and stphanie cover up!
mike | Mar 7, 2008 8:03:01 PM | #Hey I think Stephanie looks amazing, hot as hell. Did anyone know the part 2 stopped filming in the 3rd week of Sept 2007, and the kid Nathan Clutter killed himself on Oct 12, 2007, from depression. He jumped from a Alltel cellular telephone tower in Amarilli, TX.
Ryan | Mar 10, 2008 3:17:15 AM | #Hey I think Stephanie looks amazing, hot as hell. Did anyone know the part 2 stopped filming in the 3rd week of Sept 2007, and the kid Nathan Clutter killed himself on Oct 12, 2007, from depression. He jumped from a Alltel cellular telephone tower in Amarillo, TX.
Ryan | Mar 10, 2008 3:17:29 AM | #Hey I think Stephanie looks amazing, hot as hell. Did anyone know the part 2 stopped filming in the 3rd week of Sept 2007, and the kid Nathan Clutter killed himself on Oct 12, 2007, from depression. He jumped from a Alltel cellular telephone tower in Amarillo, TX.
Ryan | Mar 10, 2008 3:21:11 AM | #I really can't believe that Stephanie likes dark meat!
Mud Shark | Mar 11, 2008 11:54:02 AM | #Check out somw great pics and a video of "Stepanie" as the model "Dawn" at Missymodel.com
How can you view the newest eposide?
Paradise Fan | Mar 18, 2008 12:12:41 AM | #anyone know what stepanies last name is?
scott | Mar 21, 2008 6:56:24 AM | #anyone know what stephanies last name is?
scott | Mar 21, 2008 6:56:33 AM | #anyone know what stephanies last name is?
scott | Mar 21, 2008 6:56:42 AM | #I have known Stephanie for years... her boobs have always been that big... ever since those suckers came in... she's used to them by now... and I know her last name but why in the hell do you need to know it?
Kellea | Jun 3, 2008 4:36:27 PM | #stephanie is geen negerhoer maar hoer!!!
rex | Jul 4, 2009 8:44:03 PM | #
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