'Paradise Hotel 2': Hallelujah!

March 24, 10:23 PM

You cannot even begin to imagine how happy I am about the events of this week's Paradise Hotel 2. Of course, they made me sweat, and I was fully prepared to title this post "Are you freaking KIDDING ME?" if it had gone the other way. Fortunately, justice was served.

Are you calling me a spoiler?

Ah, Raheim. You were belligerent, you were self-aggrandizing, you were cocky, you were delusional, and you were an ass. And yet, at the very last minute, it looked like you were going to escape elimination. I've got to assume there's a whole bunch of footage of you taking about how you saved puppies from fires and built houses for the homeless, or read sensitive, soul-stirring poetry you'd written to the other guests. Because I have to think that the heavily-skewed, edited-for-villainy footage was all there really was to you, there would have been celebrations as you walked out the door. And yet, people were getting weepy. What the hell?

Raheim's assery began early -- he yells at Chris for messing up "his" room, and rails against him at every opportunity, despite his friends telling him to calm the hell down. Can't you see Chris is just playing the game? He rages at all and sundry. Well, yeah, all and sundry reply -- that's obvious. What they don't follow up with is "at least he's not an unstable nutjob like you."

Raheim's nutjob tendencies come out at Pandora's Box. Stephanie is asked if Raheim intimidates her. He does now, she says, when he started telling me about how he gets jealous and she needs to stay away from the new guys. Raheim starts to bluster, and Stephanie says something to the effect of "You're right, and you're always right, let me give that to you, and I know you have those issues, ok? You're right right now -- I'm not going to argue with you." I kind of love her.

Raheim goes into schmuckboy mode -- "I bet too many people have been in you [BLEEP!], baby, and not in your mind." Sounds like someone is bitter that he hasn't been in said [BLEEP!]. It's enough that Tanya tells him he crossed the line. Everyone else just sits there wishing they were anyplace else as Raheim and Stephanie continue to argue. Un! Comfort! Able!

It's almost a blessing when the next question is put in by the house -- ladies, if you could send one man home tonight, who would it be. I start cackling with glee -- after that little display, surely Raheim is out on his ass! No. No he's not. The ladies elect to send Johnny home instead. What the hell is wrong with these people? I know Johnny's annoying, but he's nothing compared to Raheim!

The next day, there's fallout -- Raheim calls Mike and James out for not supporting him when his character was attacked. James tells him that maybe, just maybe, he's acting a little nutty and he needs to dial it back. Raheim takes offense, of course, because Raheim is never wrong. Mike smoothes things over by saying he hears Raheim -- you felt like we weren't there when you needed us the most. Way to restate something while admitting nothing.

Now we're down to opposing camps: The new guys, Chris and Aaron, and their roommates, Stephanie and TD, are in one block; the remaining originals are in another. Raheim attempts to suck up to a few of the ladies -- Krista, you know I love you! Lauren, I think you're awesome! I hope to god they're not falling for it.

At the elimination, Chris and Aaron go first, and they stick with their roommates. Smart move. Mike picks Tanya, James picks Lauren, and Raheim goes with poor, lonely Krista. Ryan picks last -- and he also goes for Krista. I start to get worried -- will Krista bend to Raheim's will? No, thank god -- she chooses Ryan. Anyone with a lick of sense applauds.

On his way out, Amanda asks Raheim if he would have done anything differently. Yeah -- I would have told Stephanie not to pick me, because that's where everything went wrong. Of course! It's Stephanie's fault he's going home, not his own stupidity and personality defects. How could I have been so blind!

Other stuff:

Yes, of course Chris is playing the game. But I have to love that he's so unflappable when Raheim going all crazy-eyes at him. He refuses to play Raheim's game, which makes me love him.
Plus, Chris is a hell of a diplomat: When Amanda asks Chris about how his roommate Stephanie spends her nights with Ryan, he says "that's none of my business." And if Stephanie ends up ditching you as a roommate for her naughty-fun-time partner? "Then the better man will have won." He's good.
Dear Krista: I want to like you. I really do. But your little existential angst breakdown just made me laugh and laugh. "I don't know how you can be lonely with 12 people around you," she laments to Mike. Nest she'll start wearing a beret and reading Camus and Sartre.
Say what you will about Johnny (and I have) -- that was a nice standing backflip he did for the crowd when he went out.

in Paradise Hotel 2 , Reality TV

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Raheim, I think you went a little overboard with the govern. stuff, I felt you should have just chilled and left Chris alone, yeah i think Chris is an ass and he thinks very highly of him self, the bottom line is your boy's dropped the ball, James could have said pick Lauran he would go with Krista and you would have moved on, there was no plan to help you at all your boy's left you an a island to fend for yourself, T.D. what a turn coat she is, Im sick of little cry baby Mike, your a total JOKE, I hope that 2 women will be showing up next week and the women get whats coming to them , I hope to of them have to go to a single room and one gets voted off and then 1 Krista gets left out in the cold,,,,,I almost forgot,Stephanie, wow I thought she was very good looking until she opened her mouth and her true colors came out, WHORE, your parents must really be proud of you, your the biggest whore on t.v. maybe after this you can get a shot with FLAVOR FLAVVVV, he's up your ally, I liked Raheim i think he just got caught up in the im the secritary of defence, should have been cool, but, your boy's didnt help you when you need it the most, they bailed , James you where my boy your a sell out, Lauran will burn you before to long i see that coming, TD is poison, alls she does is rat and sell every other person there out because she's got a dumb country bumbkin who doesnt have a clue, lololol.

Vincent Castellano | Mar 24, 2008 11:53:50 PM | #

One other thing I really didnt like Ryan but, Ryan picked Mike's girl last time to save her ass, she was out if not for him, Mike the sissy ass could have told his girl toy he was going with Krista and you will pick Raheim, i think Raheim is a good guy just got to caught up in the govern. crap, Ryan your ok in my book, you nailed a whore no big deal Raheim should have handled that better but, the guys on here dont have any idea what it is to be a friend, i friend is always there, a friend never lets you down, a friend doesnt sell your ass out when things get tough, James, Mike your weak asses, Jonny little over the top but, you we're a good guy over all, teh show is starting to suck, Aarons a idoit, chris is a joke , i am a personal trainer and if i looked like you Chris i would never tell anyone that's what i did, your fat, and i really hope stephanie cuts sent home next week , please let that happen and send TD with her.

Vincent Castellano | Mar 25, 2008 12:06:06 AM | #

Raheim, stop posting under Vincent's name. Shame on you!

Tony | Mar 25, 2008 11:01:47 AM | #

Though I am glad the Secretary of Defense is gone, I believe the WRONG move was made. Ryan should have gone to Stephanie which would have gotten rid of Chris who will turn out to be just as bad if not worse than Raheim. Dumb Dumb Dumb.

tim | Mar 25, 2008 6:33:29 PM | #

Ryan is a bitch as much as stephanie, that whore needs to be off the show.

Eric Young | Mar 25, 2008 7:19:25 PM | #

All happened as it should have. Stephanie is now with a newbie and it's going to be a lot better TV viewing now that we have 2 split camps! Watching one person be an outsider all the time was a bit dull.

Mark | Mar 26, 2008 8:49:52 AM | #

Lets just say it...we are ALL happy Raheim is gone. Lets face it he was just plain irritating. Things are just going to get better from here for sure. Especially when they show things like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obz11TFYMUM

Nataile | Mar 26, 2008 10:12:06 AM | #

Whoo Hoo! The JackAss Raheim is gone! it should have happened way sooner.
What a nutjob!

KQ | Mar 28, 2008 9:35:42 PM | #

i dont know how Raheim made it that far he was a total control freak he thought he had eeryone wraped around his little finger,if i were them i would have thrown a celabration party for his departure!! the next intimidater is cris of course i saw it the day he showed up in paridise.

Dora Reynolds | Mar 31, 2008 5:51:45 AM | #

Dora Reynolds | Mar 31, 2008 5:51:52 AM | #

Dora Reynolds | Mar 31, 2008 5:53:17 AM | #

Dora Reynolds | Mar 31, 2008 5:53:22 AM | #

Raheim has been named as Barack Obama's running mate.

Yan | Apr 1, 2008 9:23:22 PM | #

raheim probably served one three year term and never saw deployment. what a pussy. u are not the secretary of defense u sissy. no go cry like the good girl you are.

rach | Apr 14, 2008 7:07:10 PM | #