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The Tango and the Jive are the featured dances on tonight's Dancing with the Stars and not all of our stars did well. Don't worry, Steve Guttenberg wasn't one of them. Viva le Guttes!
Spoilers!
Did Tom Bergeron just ask if the contestants had the "mirror balls" to learn a new dance in 5 days? Yes...yes he did. And that singer in the band is wearing a gold and black paisley kind of dress that reminds me of a fancy hotel lobby's couch.
1. Marlee Matlin & Fabian
Dance/Song: Jive - a Billy Joel song that I believe is called "You May Be Right"
Marlee and Fabian get along very well because they have the same types of personality and sense of humor. Fabian says he's going to please the judges by teaching her a "traditional Jive" - which translates into slightly boring. Not that it wasn't good, it was good. It just wasn't great. The basics were there but it lacked a bit of spark. Maybe Fabian wasn't feeling the song? Marlee looked great in her outfit though.
Judges: She gets praise in general for a solid job though Carrie Ann tells her to watch her "pancakey hands."
Score: 21 (7-7-7)
2. Steve Guttenberg & Anna
Dance/Song: Tango - I do believe it's the Tango music from The Addams Family
During practice, Anna is super sick so she gives him a face-mask to wear while he's practicing. But, since she's incredibly sick, she sends in husband and first male professional kicked off Jonathon Roberts. Awesome. Jonathan really is "The Dance Whisperer" because this was Guttes' best dance so far. His footwork was clean, his posture was good and he didn't smile a single time. Ole!
Judges: Good comments all around with Bruno calling it "The Revenge of The Gutte." Len and Carrie Ann also complimented Le Guttes on his footwork and the energy he brought to the dance.
Score: 21 (7-7-7)
3. Cristian de la Fuente & Cheryl
Dance/Song: Jive - "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen
After being in the bottom two, Cristian never wants to be there ever again. He was taking things entirely too seriously so Cheryl took him to Sea World to hang out with Clyde the Sea Lion. He did seem like he was having fun, though he had moments of looking a little heavy on his feet. It was very energetic and the steps were all there, though. If he makes it to the finals, he'll probably do this dance over.
Judges: They all said it was his best dance yet, with Len being booed for the qualifying statement of that Cristian's free arm was hanging a bit and that his legs could've been a little sharper. Carrie Ann also added that she can definitely see him making it to the finals as he takes their comments every week and improves.
Score: 25 (8-8-9) - Wow, really? I guess the energy/facial expressions really helped...
4. Mario & Karina
Dance/Song: Tango - "Roxanne" from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack
Mario's promoting his new album as he's practicing for the next dance. While touring colleges and high school, they're fitting in rehearsals in whenever - including in the airports while waiting for luggage and boarding planes. He had a great intensity and performed it very well despite a few baubles. I noticed his foot wasn't planting that solidly which probably attributed to some of the mistakes. To his credit, Mario fully took responsibility for it in the post-performance interview and vowed to work harder.
Judges: Len thought it had flair but technique-wise he was "bitterly disappointed." Carrie Ann shared a less strong version of Len's sentiments, stating they have such high expectations for Mario that this was a bit of a let down. Bruno did
Score: 21 (7-6-8)
5. Shannon Elizabeth & Derek
Dance/Song: Jive - a slightly too slow version of "Goody Two-Shoes" by Adam Ant
Since the judges really got on her about her legs, Derek used kick-boxing (which she does) to help her with the kicks. In her defense, it was good but the music being a tad on the slow side made it seem a bit...plodding. If it was just a few beats faster, I'm sure it would've been fantastic. Shannon was so tired at the end, she sat on the ground huffing and puffing. Granted, she's admitted that she has poor stamina but doing an energetic dance slowly requires twice the energy.
Judges: They all liked it with Bruno saying she needs to work on her precision and Carrie Ann complimenting her on surprising them when she comes out since they (the judges) get bored easily.
Score: 24 (8-8-8)
6. Adam Corolla & Julianne
Dance/Song: Tango - it may be called "I Can't Tell A Waltz From A Tango"
Adam feels bad because he feels Julianne deserves better than him. Which may or may not be true, but at least he's actually taking this whole dancing thing a bit more seriously (without being entirely serious himself). The performance was very good, his best yet, as Julianne continues her master class in choreographing for the less naturally gifted. P.S. Julianne is wearing a short, dark brown wig and looks fantastic!
Judges: Carrie Ann said, unbelievably to both of us, that Adam was pretty sexy out there. Bruno adds that if he squints enough, it almost looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones and Antonio Banderas dancing out there. Len says that "choreography is a bit like make-up, it can cover up [a lot of] sins" and that Julianne, essentially, is a master make-up artist.
Score: 21 (7-7-7)
7. Marissa Jaret Winokur & Tony
Dance/Song: Jive - "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne
The practice footage reveals that Tony sucks at telling jokes and that he thinks the dance is perfect for her and her hyper-ness. Marissa did okay during the performance but it seemed like an oddly subdued Jive. Like she was trying not to be too all over the place or something. I was expecting a lot more from her, which is disappointing because I like her so much.
Judges: All three of the judges says she's not living up to her potential and gave her some tough love, especially Bruno and Carrie Ann (who said it was boring).
Score: 19 (6-7-6)
8. Priscilla Presley & Louie
Dance/Song: Tango - A familiar traditional instrumental Tango
Louie explains the dance to her in the "I love you/I hate you" dramatic sense, which she does bring to the floor. It was good in terms of the emotions though it wasn't as sharp in certain places as I'd like it to be. The choreography was good though.
Judges: "Priscilla Presley starring in The Hot Cougar Tango" - Bruno. "Don't touch me son, you can't afford me" - Len. Carrie Ann is the only one who gave any actual advice saying it was good but she needs to work on her neck, whatever that means.
Score: 26 (8-9-9) - Eh, I don't think I agree with the 9's but fair enough.
9. Jason Taylor & Edyta
Dance/Song: Jive - "I've Got A Woman" by Ray Charles
Jason was having a lot of issues learning the dance at first, but he certainly got the hang of it by performance time. It was good, though it was a little low energy. He kind of looked like he was really concentrating at times...you know. I just figured out what was off. The band played this a little slow too. Boo! But it's still darn impressive from a man who's 6'6 dancing with a girl who probably doesn't even reach 5'5 without shoes.
Judges: Carrie Ann and Bruno liked it well enough but Len wasn't as pleased ("One week you're a rooster, the next you're a feather duster).
Score: 23 (8-7-8)
10. Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark
Dance/Song: Tango - a Tango-fied version of "Rio" by Duran Duran. Sometimes I really hate the producers.
Mark takes Kristi to an acting coach to help her get used to showing character. She had a good game face during the dance and the choreography was great, very clean. Kristi says she's reserved and not used to showing her emotions, which makes sense and is the one down side to all the athletic training that gives her an edge in other areas.
Judges: Everyone loved it in terms of the technique but advise her to bring a better range of emotion with it.
Score: 27 (all 9's)
Gutten-ism of the Day: "I'm a fighter, I'm The Guttes, and I can get this." Also, when preparing to face a barrage of verbal criticism, wear goggles and a silver bowl for a helmet.
Who's Out: Hmm...this is hard to say...Marissa and Adam are on the bubble, but I think Adam's always going to be on the bubble. It's possible people are voting so Julianne stays more than they're voting for Adam. I'd prefer Marissa stay because I do enjoy her so and want her to get another crack at doing a good job.
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
I was bewildered by the early low scores that Shannon received. I felt tonight was her best performance so far and slightly better than Kristi's. While all 8's is good, she deserved more. Does she insult the judges before each show? What am I not seeing?
And Jason's scores still don't reflect the reality of his oafish dancing. They've been consistently too high up to this point. It won't matter, though. The NFL guys always have huge fan bases to pull them through.
Nice to see Mark Ballus toned down the porn star facial expressions in his dance last night. This time he wasn't quite as distracting.
Is anyone else sick of Cheryl Burke and her constant shaking of her hair? She's like a dog that just got washed. Drives me nuts.
Anyone else hear the rumors about Karina Smirnoff dumping Mario Lopez for Mario? Though word is that Mario #2 isn't into the ladies.
I hope Adam Corolla gets the boot tonight because I can't stand looking at his ugly face. He also has the smallest fan base so if he doesn't go tonight then I'll know something su****ious is going on a la Master P who rigged the system.
I love Marissa Jaret Winokur but the problem with her is that Tony doesn't give her enough to do. His dances are always kind of boring. If Marissa was with Jonathan Roberts or someone else, she'd be kicking *** right now.
Priscilla Presley is still the one to watch though. If it wasn't for Kristi Yamaguchi, she'd be the highest scored female this season.
Nobody really stood out much for me tonight.
Marissa is distracting to watch, Adam is just distracting, so either of them can go and I'll be fine.
Marlee got hosed on her score - there isn't any way she should have gotten straight 7's and Priscilla got such high scores.
And a post script - actually Steve Guttenberg is distracting, too. I'm finding him almost pathetic with his Pollyanna attitude.
He danced okay, but it's like he's begging to be there and that's odd to me.
HMMMM...I'm really surprised that no one has mentioned yet that the judges seemed overly nasty last night. I suspect that the DwtS producers were telling the judges that they should be more like AI's Simon Cowell when they critique the contestants in an effort to produce CONTROVERSY! I haven't seen all three judges this riled up since the days of Master P. in season 2.
The first few weeks I thought that the judges were being overly harsh with Cristian and Penn (only Penn was truly awful). Now it seems like they are targeting Mario and Marissa. They also seemed to be nitpicking Marlee's performance. I think the judges criticized the stars who looked like they were "wasting time" during the rehearsal footage (Marissa and Tony were cracking jokes, Marlee and Fabian were goofing around, Mario had to bring Karina around with him on tour). Also, I suspect that the judges (especially Carrie Anne) have some kind of a grudge against Tony (who argued about the NO LIFTS rule with Jane Seymour) and Karina (she argued about Mario Lopez's scores in the past).
Meanwhile, some other contestants are treated with kid gloves, partly due to their higher celebrity status and partly due to the popularity of their professional partners. It seems like Priscilla gets fawned over no matter how she performed, and Jason only gets some mild criticism. The judges seem to be fair toward Shannon and The Gutte, but tend to nitpick Kristi, since she has been the highest scorer so far.
It was RUDE for Carrie Anne to start yelling at Tony, especially since Marissa was already crying. Carrie Anne was pointing her finger at Tony and accusing him like this was the Democratic Presidential Debates or something! ;-) I wanted to tell her: "Chill out! This is a DANCE COMPETITION, not life or death."
In terms of the actual performances, I was impressed with the improvement shown by The Gutte and Adam Carolla (surprise, surprise!). I really enjoyed Kristi and Mark again, but her facial expression looked like she was bored instead of p***ionate.
I Can't Tell a Waltz From a Tango was the best song of the season so far. I remember listening to the version by Patti Page in 1954: yes, 1954.
I forgot to add that I was concerned when I saw that Shannon had to sit down after her jive. I don't believe she was faking her exhaustion because last week's rehearsal footage showed her confessing to a lack of stamina. I was watching Tom Bergeron closely, and I could tell that he was thinking "Please don't let her faint on TV like Marie Osmond!" I really enjoyed her performance, but maybe Derek better tone down the choreography until Shannon builds up her endurance and energy level.
I like Mario & Karina, but let's be honest... they weren't very good yesterday. They didn't spend enough time preparing and it showed. I hope they make it through because I know they can do better.
I agree with Paige. It seems that Priscilla does no wrong and the judges just over compliment her. She's ok. Kinda disturbing to look at but Kristy, Marlee, Marissa and Shannon are better dancers but they get criticized.
Thank gawd Edita has such a great fan base (well deserved) when her partner is voted off so am I.
WHICH ONE OF THE MALE DANCERS IS HER HUSBAND