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'America's Next Top Model': She's Posing. Unfortunately.
Last week on 'America's Next Top Model', Kim committed the unforgivable sin of hating fashion; Atalya committed the even greater sin of being too pretty; and Paulina kicked some serious ass. The new opening credits are too, too awesome. Commenter Gus was right on target: poor little Saleisha never got to be in the credits. At least she's found gainful employment at the Cover Girl factory.
Tonight we OMGMAKEOVERWEEKAAAAAAH! Dominique confessionals that she is "fierce" and a "diva." The girls find tacky white quilted purses filled with Apple Bottom clothing, and Fatima calls Allison fat. Allison who is anorexic! Oh dear. She whips out the tape measure and I just....I mean, I feel horrible for her but at the same time Allison is just so entirely unpleasant. The girls read the Tyra Scroll-o-mail and hop in the limocab to go to Walmart. I wonder if Saleisha works there! But no. The ladies are there to partake in the Walmart/Cover Girl casting and makeup challenge. Claire, who loves makeup, wins the challenge. Back at the house, Claire says that she feels that the mothers of the group, her included, have more at stake in the competition. Allison plays with Barbies, padding the black doll's bottom to make it bigger to represent Fatima. Allison goes on a racist rant, and Fatima flips out on her. While, of course, not understanding why Allison is so angry at her in the first place. I'm still trying to figure out why Allison has Barbies.
Tyra Scroll! And Makeover Week is so, so on. Tyra, with her Winged Monkeys, greets the ladies at Stephen Knoll salon and announces that - the girls aren't going to know WHAT is happening to their hair. Literally. They will figure it out after it's done. Anya goes platinum and looks fabulous. Whitney gets a big blonde Brigitte Bardot weave, which totally takes the focus off those gorgeous eyes of hers. Bad call, Tyty. Aimee gets Brittany's big red weave from cycle 8. Marvita gets a "horse mane hair weave", which Tyra admits to having invented. It's like a ridiculously long fauxhawk. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Lauren gets a big strawberry-blonde weave, which plays against her natural oddness and makes her look even less at ease with herself. Katarzyna goes long and dark. Claire gets a platinum buzz cut, which elevates her bone structure in a way that is absolutely remarkable. Fatima - the girl who underwent GENITAL MUTILATION - complains about the pain of the weave. She gets long, long Naomi hair, and for some reason she looks like Padma Lakshmi in her photo. Allison goes red and fluffy, which makes her look less Gossip Girl and more Little Orphan Annie. It's...not good. And she knows it. Dominique's long hair is lopped off and she gets a dark, blunt cut that makes her look slightly less Trans. Stacey-Ann gets a short, messy, choppy do that makes her eyes pop. It also makes her look less like Dani, which is good. Amis gets a heavily-banged, stripily highlighted weave that looks way cheap. I really don't see what they are seeing in this girl.
Mr Jay announces that the photo shoot will take place on a boat with a view of the Brooklyn Bridge. Elle MacPherson is there, and dresses - if that's not too strong a word - the models in her lingerie line (which, by the way, ladies, is amazing.) Fatima is really embracing her makeover, and Claire is so confident. Anya is uncomfortable, and Whitney gets saddled with a really uncomfortable corset. Katarzyna porns it up a little too much, and Stacy-Ann is incredibly blank. Lauren genuinely can't stand up convincingly. Even in panties, Marvita is really butch. Allison has been practicing too much and looks overly studied, but mistakenly believes that she is the supermodel she clearly is in her own mind. Amis doesn't know the difference between right and left. Aimee's red hair elevates her look so much, it's outrageous. Dominique tries so hard, but looks like a cross between catalog and a soccer mom? I don't know. It doesn't work at all.
At panel, Elite, Seventeen Magazine, Cover Girl, blah. Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker has been rather strenuously bronzed. Amis's body language is bad, but Lauren's body language is so bad it's good. Marvita looks amazing - strong and confident, with great light in her eyes. Claire needs to learn how to separate her mouth and her eyebrows. Fatima looks amazing, but doesn't know what to do with her legs - Tyra says she "models from the waist up," and she's right. Paulina thinks Katarzyna looks like a mail-order bride. Stacy-Ann looks awkward. They didn't brush out Dominique's cellulite, which is just so evil and wrong. Aimee looks lovely but unremarkable. Anya looks fierce but, as Paulina says, not very pretty. Allison looks blank. Whitney looks stiff and awful. Tyra actually blames the wardrobe, and Paulina does as well. Tyra has 11 pictures, etc. The bottom two are soccer mom Dominique and spoiled brat Allison, but Dominique's hard-luck story keeps her in play for another week. Oddly, Tyra tells Dominique that she's going to have the hair color that Tyra wanted her to have. Um, editors? 'Splain?
Next week: runway, and some drama involving Fatima.
What say you, my pretties? Yay? Nay? And who dared to cross Miss Tyra whilst dying Dominique's hair? I need to know!
thank goodness allison is gone!! it's funny how the girl who had the most "experience" was one of the first to go home...how funny was that at panel when she was told how good she looked and then replied with "i know" and looked completely baffled when the judges practically told her to say thank you...good riddance...
i love claire though...she has beauty, charm, elegance and seems like a down to earth "real" girl...i hope she wins...marvita is actually growing on me...i thought her picture rocked...i really like lauren and think that her look is pretty unique, but i fear she will meet the same fate as heather from last cycle - great photos but very awkward in life...
Great recap! I laughed out loud!
I'm really glad Allison was eliminated. I was starting to seriously dislike her. Plus, the racist barbie-doll thing was too much for me to want to deal with at this early stage in the show.
How hilarious is Lauren?! I'm such a fan! Her awkwardness makes her appealing. I hope Tyra doesn't take that away from her! She and Claire, who I'm picking as an early favorite to win, make me excited about this show!
Cat | Mar 5, 2008 10:28:16 PM | #Thanks for the shoutout Jordan!
Why does Tyra always have to give one girl an icy blonde hairdo? I think Anya looks terrible. You can barely see her eyebrows. He skin matches with her hair too, so it's like all you see is lips. Lips and hair. Yuck.
I thought Fatima looked great, but I wish she would just shut her mouth sometimes...er always.
Miss J is sooo not married. I don't care what I said last time.
I also missed the Dominique dye job reference, but hopefully it'll help in keeping her look away from the mid-30s soccer mom milf look!
gus | Mar 5, 2008 10:35:45 PM | #At the beginning of the episode, I really liked Allison, I thought she was stunning. But as time wore on, she wore on me and I was glad to see that she was a terrible poser and once she said "I know I am not going home" I knew she was going home.
Thus far, still rooting for Whitney and Lauren. Katarzyna is also quite amazing, if Tyra could ever remember how to pronounce her name!
I am glad Allison went home too, she was so tedious (and she looked way better before her makeover). Agree about the platinum blond thing gus mentioned, Anya looks awful. Fatima looks beautiful with her new long hair, she's strange though, she's a b**ch, but not in a really hateful way - I still want to give her the benefit of the doubt so far. Love Claire - she's nice, friendly, and seems pretty genuine. I really didn't like Marvita at first, but strangely, her makeover works - her picture was awesome. And I'm starting to love her personality, she seems so regular and actually says the things I'm thinking. Lauren - what can you say, cutely awkward, she's fun to have around, but I too don't think she'll last long, she seems so clueless about even faking it.
Sue | Mar 6, 2008 7:34:46 AM | #I was actually hoping that they'd give Fatima lighter hair, I think a blond weave would have made her very unique. But I guess they had too many blondes already. Anya looks bizarre, but strangely, I think it works in her photos. Katarzyna really needs to listen to the panel, they're giving her the right advice, and she's got tons of potential. Lauren is definitely growing on me, Amis is definitely not. Marvita and Claire are awesome. I think Whitney looked better before her makeover, now she looks like one of the Judds. She totally should have won the makeup challenge, in my opinion.
Siansonea | Mar 6, 2008 12:12:51 PM | #hahaha...she totally looks like one of the judds!! but i still think she looks good...
rocketdog | Mar 6, 2008 12:22:17 PM | #GOD I HATED ALLISON! WHAT A BITCHCUNT
christiana | Mar 6, 2008 3:15:56 PM | #Everybody claims Allison has the most experience, but I discovered something yesterday. I was channel surfing and found a show on Discovery Health Channel called "Runway Moms," about models who are also parents. The model featured in the episode I watched? Claire, billing herself as Claire Urabia-James, since she got married during the ep. She was pregnant with the baby she was talking about in her audition, so obviously it was filmed before Tyra's show. In the show, she mentioned that she had been working as a model since she was 15, she was signed to work for an agency that specializes in expectant mothers and moms with babies, and the episode featured her being photographed for a layout in Parenting magazine. So the question is, if she's successful enough to be profiled in another series on another cable network, then what does she need Tyra's show for? Isn't this just like the scandal with Saleisha and the commercial? Maybe a new requirement for the show is to Google search the candidate before you invite them to the audition, since I thought the goal of the series was to discover NEW talent.
BTW, Claire's new makeover is awful; she looks like 90's exercise guru Susan Powter. She's going to need a wig collection to find future work until that monstrosity grows out.
K | Mar 12, 2008 2:37:34 PM | #nice post!interesting huh they all pretty, and talented! no one can bit them.hahaha keep posting!
-sidney-
Interesting views.. it seems all those 'America's Next Top Model. looks beautiful. especially the girl whose on the first photo.hope to see more photos. keep it up!
-sidney-
applebottoms | Jun 10, 2009 10:56:48 PM | #
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