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'Paradise Hotel 2': Meet the new guy
You know what Paradise Hotel 2 is? It's Klassy, with an emphasis on the "ass" part. People smack asses, act like asses, bump asses, and generally make me want to kick their asses. Asserific!
I'd like to slip 'n slide off Spoiler's chest.
Mike describes the first elimination ceremony as "nothing shy of completely and utterly intense." I'd say it was several thousand units shy of intense. It hardly blipped above mildly diverting.
But now that Chelsea's gone, that means a new guy comes in. Meet Johnny, a New York Italian "hunk" with impulse control issues. He makes a great impression at first -- Tanya and Lauren both seem to be salivating, and Raheim is either checking out the competition or checking out the competition, if you know what I mean. Johnny gets 2.5 second speed dates with all the women, then chooses to go on a long date with Tanya. Mike looks like he needs to change his shorts.
Johnny immediately rubs the men the wrong way -- too brash, too cocky, upsetting the delicate balance of the house. And while he is brash and cocky, I imagine their main objection to him is that his addition means they're all up for elimination this time out.
It doesn't help that Johnny got a letter from Chelsea giving him the lay of the land -- she claims James and Ryan backstabbed her for not sleeping with them. She also says "just know that the hottest girl isn't here anymore." You have got to be kidding me.
Then Johnny gets drunk, and Johnny gets aggressive. He's the main ass-smacker and ass-acter at the Adam and Eve party, and dude! There's etiquette to such situations! Let Tanya elucidate: "At least ask me if you can smack my ass -- especially at an Adam and Eve Party when I'm wearing a thong." I'll alert Emily Post.
Nate continues his role as voice of reason on the show -- and there's a position that pretty much guarantees you won't last long -- and tells Johnny he was very rude at the party: "biting and licking arms, sniffing rear ends and things -- I just think you may want to apologize to some of them." "You like putting me on the spot there, Nate," Johnny replies. Yes, he does.
Then the guys and girls get separate fun rewards -- the guys go to a bar to shoot pool, while the girls stay in and get massages and manicures. The guys manage to make things interesting by betting on the outcome of the game -- losers come to dinner wearing makeup. Imagine my delight when Raheim and Nate lose. Nate takes the punishment with good grace (and rather amazing bone structure -- the boy looks good in wearing makeup), but Raheim looks like he's going to jump out of his skin. The fact that he's wearing blue-green eyeshadow and face glitter? That makes it so much better.
Amanda introduces the cast to the myth of Pandora's box -- sort of. (Jupiter created woman? Mercury gave her the box? Seriously?) The cast members are invited to write down a question they'd ask another cast member, and later on, they have a happy fun secret-revealing party. The questions we see:
- Does Johnny believe anything in Chelsea's letter? No, he says -- she's not here, and she was probably booted to keep order in the house. He reveals what she said about James and Ryan, but keeps the rest to himself.
- When is James going to make a move on Tadisha? James is abashed: "I dunno -- Maybe we'll get hopped up and make some bad decisions later on." Heh.
- Does Raheim feel his bond with James isn't as strong after the pool fight? No, we're good -- and besides, it was an act of charity that I blew up and made an ass of myself (my words, not his), because I graciously allowed everyone to get their frustrations out and clear the air. Um, thanks.
- Why hasn't Tanya slept with Mike yet? "I can't say it's not going to happen," she replies. Mike perks up.
And then, the ultimate act of assery. Mike tells the guys that when he does the deed with Tanya, they'll hear the wookie mating call. So he sleeps with Tanya -- and goes out on the balcony in the middle of the night and does the wookie mating call. Klassy! Why Tanya doesn't kick his ass is completely beyond me.
Other stuff:
- Mike, complementing Tanya: "She's the female version of me." Ain't narcissism grand?
- Ryan reveals what really happened with Chelsea: She came on all hot and heavy, "and then she just wanted to kiss, and then cuddle." He's very indignant about it.
- Nate apparently spends a lot of time off by himself. He's observing, but it's not exactly going to keep him in the house. Or maybe it will. Charte is impressed that he stands up to Johnny at breakfast.
- Raheim's snap judgment on Johnny: "He is a straight NYC Italian. He is going to be uber cocky." And Raheim knows cocky!
- Johnny describes the intricate (hah!) web of social relationships as "a very well built house of cards right now." I'm not entirely sure he understands that houses of cards don't tend to be well built. That's kind of the point of them.
- Honest to god, if I hear the "sharing is caring" mantra one more time, I will throw something.
- Raheim describes how easy-going he is: "I can have fun with a bunch of midgets." Um... ok.
- Krista talks about how she's not really thrilled with Johnny: "I don't really like the whole sexually aggressive sort of thing." Sigh. Krista, what show did you think you were going on?
What do you think of the new guy? What do you think of the rest of the group? Who is the least detestable pair on right now?
i loved the 1st paradise hotel--but this one is horrible--whoever is in charge of casting this show should be fired.
tim | Feb 19, 2008 8:12:03 AM | #Did you know that Nate killed himself after taping the show. He jumped off a radio tower last october and died.
Angela | Feb 19, 2008 11:51:57 AM | #Angela - where did you read or hear that? Gotta linkeage?
yousaid what | Feb 19, 2008 7:07:59 PM | #He has no shoulders. It bugs me just to watch. They just slope right down. It's eerie.
Po | Feb 22, 2008 5:20:52 AM | #http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08042/854029-237.stm
Above link is the article regarding Nate's death - sad & shocking.
Kim | Feb 22, 2008 3:54:22 PM | #Kim - thanks for the link - hard to believe he did that. I actually am enjoying him on the show although he's kind of a loner at times.
yousaid what | Feb 22, 2008 4:57:05 PM | #I can't believe you don't think this season is good. Drama, fighting and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GeHR3CgNow it can't get better!
Nataile | Feb 27, 2008 6:57:26 AM | #So why is no one talking about this? Especially when things such as this happen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nquVXITo5E
Natalie | Mar 5, 2008 11:31:26 AM | #Why have you guys stopped talking about this! I can't believe they can show this on television!?!? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obz11TFYMUM
Joanne | Mar 26, 2008 10:03:56 AM | #Cast is awful. However, I LOVED Johnny! What a body and he's obviouslyl proud of it!
beth | May 18, 2008 12:00:13 PM | #I think Paradise Hotel 2 sucks. The 2nd season was too short, most of the cast members are pricks, and they chosen the wrong winners.
Josie | May 21, 2008 7:46:33 AM | #
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