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RSSFinaleWatch: 'American Gladiators'
It seems like just last week that we were sitting here, putting on our spandex for the first time in 15 (or so) years and watching the brand-spanking new American Gladiators. It was a simpler time back then, a time before we knew the wonder that is Crush, and the bluster that is Titan. It was a time before the fun of the underutilized Earthquake and lack thereof in over-utilized Hit and Run had become apparent. It was a time when we could still hope for parity among the contestants. It is this last thing that I miss the most, because I didn't want to know before tonight's contest started that Evan was going to run away with game. The women's contest was closer, but still easy to predict. Parity is something that they really need to figure out next season.
They also need to figure out exactly how long the shows are going to be ahead of time. I thought the amount of filler in the 90 minute version was excessive, but now that I've seen the two hour version I know what "filler" really means. With montages and recaps (the in-show commercials would come later) the first event tonight didn't start until 21 minutes in (and Laila Ali didn't even announce that the finale was starting until the 11th minute of the show).
When the games did get going, the women were up first in Hang Tough. Monica almost outlasted Siren, but eventually was taken into the water and got a goose egg for her troubles. Shanay looked nowhere near as good and ended up with nothing too. The second event was Assault and worked out almost as well for Shanay who picked up a mere three points. Monica however hit the target with the slingshot (wow, we were suitably impressed with that) and gained 10 points.
During the women's third event, Joust, Crush made her first appearance tonight (besides the introductions). Crush showed her resolve and kept her perfect record, sending Monica into the water just before the buzzer. However, she was unable to stay perfect against Shanay, whose tactic seemed to be to drop to her knees and pray, and who therefore managed to stay up on the platform the whole time and get five points.
Crush got even with Shanay in the next event, Pyramid, repeatedly throwing the contestant down the steps. Monica didn't have any better luck with Venom, the gladiator and contestant spent the majority of the time hugging one another and neither Shanay nor Monica scored during the event. Monica's lead did get a little bit bigger in the Wall, the last pre-Eliminator event, as she made it to the top for 10. Shanay didn't make it to the top but amazingly, despite Venom grabbing her foot, Shanay was able to hold on the whole time and get five points..
Monica had a three and a half second head start in the Eliminator, but Shanay was nearly caught up by the top of the cargo net. Both women fell off the hand bike, but Shanay's fall somehow left her far behind. Monica seemed to hurt herself at the end of the zip line, but still stayed out in front of Shanay. Thus, Monica was crowned the first female champion of the new American Gladiators, as your recapper predicted would happen last week.
The men also started with Hang Tough (around 36 minutes into the two hours). Alex went first and took a bath. After a commercial break Evan got the chance to go and for somehow Wolf ended up slipping and going in the water, allowing Evan a free shot at the opposite platform which he got. Assault was the second event for the men and Alex grabbed one measly point before getting hit and Evan was able to extend his lead with a 10 point bulls-eye.
Event number three for the men was Joust (apparently the men and women were going to do the same events in the same order tonight). Titan humiliated Evan and Alex (but messed up when he delivered the Highlander line, stating that "There can only be one" instead of "There can be only one." Silly, Titan).
Alex managed to get a few points back in Pyramid, grabbing five while Evan got nothing. Evan got those points right back though on the Wall, scampering to the top for 10, while Militia slipped off the Wall and allowed Alex to get to the top too, but he was second and only earned five.
Things got switched around in the Eliminator, and the men went before the women for the first time tonight (that kind of made it obvious that this wasn't going to be close and the women's was and was therefore a terrible tactic on the producers' part). Evan, as could have been predicted (oh wait, it was predicted), had a ridiculous lead going into the Eliminator. He started the event 9.5 seconds before Alex and there was no way Alex was going to catch him. Evan ran the event like a champion, beat his own record time, and was the clear victor tonight.
I'm actually really looking forward to season two of the show. Hopefully the producers have seen where they stumbled and where they succeeded and are ready to improve upon the series. With any luck, next season the games will be better and the contestants stronger. But, I'd love to hear from you. What were the big successes and big failures this season? What do you want to be changed for the next one?
Another thought or observation or two:
- Every time Siren goes into the water she holds her nose. I have no point about that, I just thought it was interesting. It humanizes her, I like that.
- I noticed that in Joust, Titan has started playing from one knee. That ought to be considered cheating. He's way too big to be knocked off if his center of gravity is that low.
What else is there to say. Congratulations to our champions, you'll always have a home at The TV and Film Guy's Reviews. Feel free to stop by any old time.
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
I really like the show. I think Laila Ali is very good, the Hulkster schtick tends to get tiring BROTHER!!!
Next year:
1. HIRE BETTER EDITORS
2. They could use the competitor bios as more filler.
3. I am amazed at how much the competitors suck at Joust, even the ones with military backgrounds. Doesn't the Army and Marines use Pugil Sticks in training?
4. The should ***es penalty points for falling off the hand bike. Without the penalty points, its faster to drop off and climb out.
I'm looking forward to Evan-as-gladiator next season - if anyone ever escapes from him on The Wall, I'll eat my hat.
I agree that there should be penalty time for the hand bike - by the finale, the ladies had figured out it was quicker for them to just drop off and climb out.
I want to see someone get to the end of ***ault - I think a couple of the stations require too much time right now (i.e. loading and rotating the cannon) and could be tightened up. I still have no idea what the fifth station is.
Yes, the show was very padded. Frankly, I don't care much about the background of the contestants. I want to see the events! I forgot what time the show started and tuned in 20 minutes late, only to find I hadn't missed even one bit of actual competition. I
I like the events they have, and how they've made the Eliminator more difficult and longer than it was in the original show. A couple new events, for variety's sake, would be nice. And yes, a penalty for falling off the bike is needed. Also, maybe they should revise the scoring a bit to keep anyone from getting TOO big a head start in the Eliminator. It's much more fun to watch close contests. For the most part, though, they got the show right.
Good thing we're getting two more Gladiators. When the show premiered, I thought there were not enough of them. I wonder what Gladiator names our newbies will take on.
I would like to see them to revise the scoring system on the Eliminator. Instead of the time penalty at the start, start them together. Award one point for finishing each section first - i.e:
1 point for first to top of wall
1 point for first to top of cargo net
1 point for first to end of the roller thingy (sorry I don't remember the name of the event)
1 point for first to finish hand bike
1 point for first to top of pyramid
then 5 points for first to complete travelator and finish = 10 total points for the event.
They get an additional point for every 5 seconds between their finish time and when the competitor crosses the line.
Players get penalized 1 point for falling off the roller thing before a certain point and also a point for the hand bike (maybe 2 points if they don't make it at least halfway).
Of course the beauty of the current system is that it's easy for everyone watching to understand who's winning. First finisher = winner. In a revised system they would have to wait for the calculations or make mental calculations as the event is unfolding. But I think it would add more drama to the final event - and a chance to score points for being good at specific parts - instead of it all coming down to navigating the travelator at the end like it did in some of the earlier rounds.
That scoring system the other Dave came up with sounds ridiculous. Makes for bad T.V. Why should you get individual points for individual sections? The 1/2 second for point seems very reasonable to me... especially with so many people stumbling on the treadmill at the end.
Yes the handbike thing is stupid. But the penalty time they had in the old version was bad too. They just need to make it harder to get out of the bottom... like make it a deeper or some other challenge.
Different Dave:
What do you suggest wild animals?
Actually, doing it over a pool would certainly slow you down.
They need to get rid of the pit of fire in the eliminator. I"m just waiting for someone to accidentally jump right into it!
I agee about the handbike. Most of the women have clocked that it is easier to just "fall off" and run. In the UK, any competitor who falls off, gets a 15 second penalty (the time it takes most people to complete it) and then they can go.